The Baby Boomer Test

[in eternum+ 22]

So guess what?! Scientists have come up with a way of estimating when someone is gonna die:

By asking 12 simple questions, researchers claim they can determine with surprising accuracy whether someone over the age of 50 is going to die in the near future.

 

The questions, designed by researchers at the San Francisco VA Medical Center, assess various mortality risks, like whether someone smokes, or if they have diabetes. By using a simple point system, researchers claim an 81 per cent accuracy in determining whether someone over the age of 50 will die in the next four years.

How great is this? Now we won't need to base our selection of candidates using specualtion and guesswork. The test, found in this article, provides the pointing system by which the estimate is gleaned:

The test as it appears in the Journal of the American Medical Association:

 

1. Age: 50-59 years old 0 points; 60-64 years old 1 point; 65-69 2 points; 70-74 3 points; 75-79 4 points; 80-84 5 points; 85 and older 7 points.

2. Male or Female: Male 2 points.

3. Body-Mass Index: Less than 25 (normal weight or less) 1 point.

(Calculate by multiplying height in inches by itself; then divide weight in pounds by that total; then multiply the total by 703.)

4. Diabetes: 2 points.

5. Cancer (excluding minor skin cancers): 2 points.

6. Chronic lung disease that limits activities or requires oxygen use at home: 2 points.

7. Congestive heart failure: 2 points.

8. Cigarette smoking in the past week: 2 points.

9. Difficulty bathing/showering because of a health or memory problem: 2 points.

10. Difficulty managing money, paying bills, keeping track of expenses because of a health or memory problem: 2 points.

11. Difficulty walking several blocks because of a health problem: 2 points.

12. Difficulty pushing or pulling large objects like a living room chair because of a health problem: 1 point.

 

Score:

0 to 5 points: less than a 4 per cent risk of dying;

6-9 points: 15 per cent risk:

10-13 points: 42 per cent risk

14 or more points: 64 per cent risk.

Admittedly, it might require more knowledge of some of our candidates than we have, but it can still guide us merrily along! So... get estimating!

 

Example - Applying the test to CLS:

 

1. 7 (85+)

2. 2 (Male)

3. 1 (guessing, based on semi-recent photos)

4. 0 (though don't know for sure)

5. 0 (as above)

6. 0 (as above)

7. 0 (as above)

8. 0 (though I reckon he has probably smoked at some point, am estimating conservatively)

9. 2 (due to the Parkinsons)

10. 0 (don't reckon he has money problems)

11. 2 (due to the Parkinsons)

12. 1 (due to the Parkinsons)

 

Total: 15 points - and that's a conservative estimate!

[Canadian Paul 97]

Seems like a bit of a pointless test though. "When you're right 52% of the time, you're wrong 48% of the time."

[Banshees Scream 110]

If one thing keeps me going, it's the fact that this is one of the greatest comedic forums on the Internet today. Distributing Prozac in the Baby Boomer thread that never made it is just brilliant. I say everybody starts talking about prescriptions in this thread from now on. Because I don't know about everyone else, but I have no f****n idea what this is all about, and only because the Prozac salesman inspired me, I'm going to support this idea and I'm confident everyone else will follow in my foot steps.

[Captain Oates 21]

If one thing keeps me going, it's the fact that this is one of the greatest comedic forums on the Internet today. Distributing Prozac in the Baby Boomer thread that never made it is just brilliant. I say everybody starts talking about prescriptions in this thread from now on. Because I don't know about everyone else, but I have no f****n idea what this is all about, and only because the Prozac salesman inspired me, I'm going to support this idea and I'm confident everyone else will follow in my foot steps.

Who needs a prescription! They say there's Prozac in the drinking water, re-cycled from urine.

[Banshees Scream 110]

Who needs a prescription! They say there's Prozac in the drinking water, re-cycled from urine.

 

I heard the government is putting all these toxic chemicals in tooth paste, or at least in some brands. Captain you should buy all natural tooth paste, everyone should. (POM) juice that over expensive stuff that cleans out your system, it is probably worth every cent.

[Guest Boombaby bye bye!]

Long-Awaited Baby-Boomer Die-Off To Start Soon

[Rotten Ali 600]

Still a 64% risk in four years only equates to a 16% risk in one year - on those odds they won't be winning the DDP (that's just 3.2 hits out of 20) Football Fan and I had three times this amount last year - so I guess these medical bods still need to learn a few things from us amatures!

[Sir Creep 7,070]

[polar duck 870]

17 minutes ago, Sir Creep said:

[Unfunny meme]

 

On 27/03/2024 at 01:12, Sir Creep said:

The pimpled obese friendless member dwelling in daddy’s basement strikes again with post-whoring thread reboots.  No it ISNT funny.  So that makes this list of members stupid cunts.  Noted by SirC and made conspicuous for all to see who our most cuntish members are (this list is by no means stagnant):

 

[Master Obit 830]

3 hours ago, Sir Creep said:

The last time this thread had had activity before this post, there were still a handful of WW1 veterans living in the UK. 

 

Why did you feel it important to resurrect it to post this garbage?