machotrouts

Anyway, congratulations to the actual Inverse Dead Pool 2024 champion, @The Immortal. You correctly identified 23 of your peers. Is this like the immortality equivalent of gaydar? THE WINNING TEAM: Honourable mentions also to @The Immortal's fellow podium finishers @Hell –quite a jump up from bottom 10 last year – and dependable thread inhabitant @YoungWillz. FINAL LEADERBOARD: 1. The Immortal 4 2. Hell 8 3. YoungWillz 11 4. ladyfiona 13 5. wannamaker 14 5. The Old Crem 14 7. MariNisia 16 7. Funeralopolis 16 9. Death Impends 17 10. machotrouts 19 11. An Fear Beag 21 11. CastAway 21 13. Nick 22 14. Summer in Transylvania 23 14. Grimgrass 23 14. LizLemon 23 17. The Unknown Man 24 17. Clorox Bleachman 24 17. Annami 24 20. Toast 25 20. arghton 25 22. Captain Hemlock 26 23. deadsox 28 23. Bibliogryphon 28 23. Joltin Joe 28 26. Spade_Cooley 29 26. Great Uncle Bulgaria 29 26. Newjack 29 26. Torva Messor 29 30. Pedro67 30 31. Lafaucheuse 32 32. TQR 34 33. maryportfuncity 35 33. tracy 35 35. Bentrovato 36 36. Book 38 37. Perhaps 39 38. livingbygrace 40 39. chilean way 41 40. theoldlady 42 41. MortalCaso 42 41. Thatcher 42 43. Sleepiestpeep 44 43. CaptainChorizo 44 45. Famous6Eva 48 46. BuffaloPhil 51 46. diego 51 48. En Passant 54 49. max_bossetti 55 50. YorkshireBanker 56 51. Sideik 57 52. JoeMoneypenny 58 53. MalePoster 59 54. gcreptile 74 55. msc 76 56. GuyFromFuture 77 57. machotrouts' mum 91 FINAL CELEBRITY ROUND-UP: TOTAL POINTS # OF TEAMS 1. Joe Biden 1237 54 2. Donald Trump 1171 53 3. Michael J. Fox 1067 56 4. Andy Taylor 992 55 5. Billy Connolly 901 55 6. Clint Eastwood 898 53 7. William Shatner 880 53 8. Ozzy Osbourne 873 53 9. Buzz Aldrin 801 56 10. Janey Godley 793 48 11. Phil Collins 745 49 12. Bruce Willis 707 50 13. Dick van Dyke 671 51 14. Robert Wagner 597 47 15. Prunella Scales 534 51 16. Pope Francis 524 47 16. Rupert Murdoch 524 48 18. David Attenborough 467 47 19. Willie Nelson 452 43 20. Mel Brooks 417 38 21. Tim Bilton 376 35 22. Toby Keith 345 27 23. Yoko Ono 257 27 24. Dave Myers 233 26 25. Erik Jensen 220 21 26. Shannen Doherty 201 23 27. Linda Nolan 183 25 28. Paul Spencer 147 17 29. Cleo Laine 141 23 30. Denis Law 121 18 31. Dennis Skinner 110 18 32. Bob Newhart 112 17 33. Patrick Murray 101 14 34. Roberta Flack 90 12 35. Eva Marie Saint 82 22 36. Theo Burrell 77 8 37. Stanley Baxter 70 14 38. Frank Caprio 68 7 38. Frank Field 44 6 40. June Spencer 40 6 41. Esther Rantzen 39 8 42. James Whale 37 12 43. Michael Tilson Thomas 36 5 44. Rob Burrow 35 8 45. Joanne Woodward 29 4 46. Nigel Starmer-Smith 28 4 47. (Wildlife) Simon Cowell 27 6 48. Jonnie Irwin 16 1 49. Noam Chomsky 8 2 50. Jimmy Carter 1 1 51. Steve McMichael 0 0 Congratulations also to the unpicked yet unscathed Steve McMichael. 2025 and fit as a fiddle. Back on the pitch in no time. Thank you everybody for playing. See you in the Inverse Dead Pool 2025 soon.

Congratulations to our winning team: Well, none of them died, right?

In this spoiler box is #1 Hits, my regular theme team of UK #1 hitmakers. Below it are 20 more people who were in consideration for the team. SUBSTITUTES: 21. Ernest Ranglin (The Commonwealth Band) 22. Bruce Foxton (The Jam) 23. Craig Douglas 24. Marlon Jackson (The Jacksons) #6 last year 25. Noddy Holder (Slade) #8 last year 26. Petula Clark 27. Rachel Hylton (The X Factor Finalists) 28. Akelle Charles (Artists for Grenfell) 29. Alan Silson (The Crowd) 30. Alesso 31. John Gorman (The Scaffold) 32. Tony Di Bart #5 last year 33. Brian May (Queen) 34. Julie Covington 35. Neville Staple (The Specials) 36. Ken Boothe 37. Clem Burke (Blondie) 38. James Smith (The Stylistics) 39. Indira Joshi (The Kumars) 40. Frankie Valli (The Four Seasons)   Two people I posted in the 2024 salvage lot thread proved to be misses for the #1 Hits team: David Soul (21) and Andrew Davis (37).  In this spoiler box is Unpersons, my regular theme team of Big Brother housemates. Below it are 20 more people who were in consideration for the team. SUBSTITUTES: 21. George Galloway 22. Wayne Sleep 23. Stephanie Beacham 24. Marco Pierre White Jr. 25. Michael Madsen 26. Cheryl Fergison #14 last year 27. Anne Diamond #8 last year 28. Paddy Doherty 29. Charlie Doherty 30. Christopher Biggins 31. Brandi Glanville 32. Paul Danan 33. Jenna Jameson #11 last year 34. Renee Graziano 35. James Cosmo 36. Leo Sayer #9 last year 37. Ann Widdecombe 38. Rula Lenska 39. Lisa Jeynes 40. Samantha Fox None of the people I posted in the 2024 salvage lot thread proved to be misses for the Unpersons team.  In this spoiler box is Special:RandomInCategory/Living_people, my regular theme team of 20 people whittled down from 4000 random biographies on Wikipedia. Below it are 20 more people who were in consideration for the team. Names are presented as they are in their Wikipedia article titles; nevertheless, given the broad range of claims to fame, I've included an extra column to clarify what they're known for. SUBSTITUTES: 21. Erika Stone  Centenarian photographer/no-hoper obit 22. Cristy Lane  American country singer, did 'One Day at a Time' before Lena Martell 23. Charles Curran (theologian)  Vatican-censured liberal theologian 24. Kenneth Copeland  American televangelist who plans on living to 120 25. Brian Hayes (broadcaster)  British radio presenter 26. Coleman Barks  American poet, Rumi "interpreter" 27. Gillian Tindall  British writer and historian 28. Danny Fields  Ramones manager 29. Winston Pinder  British-Barbadian communist 30. Jane Gaskell  British fantasy writer 31. Teresa de Lauretis  Italian feminist, coined the term "queer theory" 32. John Sentamu  Archbishop of York 2005-2020 33. Harriet Williamson  Journalist who's written about her BPD, history of self-harm, suicide attempts, drug use, bulimia... 34. Jaswant Singh Chail  Would-be Queen assassin 35. Allegra Versace  Donatella's daughter 36. Heather Sutherland (historian)  Miriam Margolyes' squeeze 37. Faisal Al-Fayez  Ex-Prime Minister of Jordan 38. Malek Hassoun  Lebanese football manager 39. Gregory Buchakjian  Lebanese photographer 40. Elie Mitri  Lebanese comedian  One person I posted in the 2024 salvage lot thread proved to be a miss for the Living_people team: Pete Rose (31).

These are my three theme teams for 2025. #1 Hits Celebrating its 10th year in the DDP, my regular theme team of people who've had a record peak at #1 in the UK Singles Chart (either solo or as part of a group). Last year's position on the team is given in brackets, where applicable. 1. (new) Johnny Tillotson 2. (new) Brian Wilson (The Beach Boys) 3. (1) Eddie 'Tan Tan' Thornton (The Blue Flames) 4. (3) Jane Morgan 5. (4) Mike Sarne 6. (new) Mike Peters (Ferry Aid) 7. (7) Andy Taylor (Duran Duran) 8. (new) Andy Scott (Sweet) 9. (re) J.J. Barrie 10. (12) Walter Parazaider (Chicago) 11. (re) Lena Martell 12. (11) Trevor Oakes (Showaddywaddy) 13. (9) Willie Nelson (USA for Africa) 14. (19) Plas Johnson (B. Bumble and the Stingers) 15. (re) Terry Jacks 16. (16) Chris Farlowe 17. (new) John McVie (Fleetwood Mac) 18. (new) John Hall (The Equals) 19. (new) Sean 'Diddy' Combs 20. (new) Ariana Grande This is the 2nd appearance for Mike Sarne, J.J. Barrie, and Walter Parazaider; the 3rd appearance for Eddie 'Tan Tan' Thornton, Andy Taylor, Lena Martell, Plas Johnson, and Terry Jacks; the 4th appearance for Trevor Oakes; the 7th appearance for Willie Nelson and Chris Farlowe; and the 9th appearance for Jane Morgan. This team had two hits in 2024: David Graham (2) and Steve Harley (13). Survivors dropped from the team are: Tony Di Bart (5), Marlon Jackson (6), Noddy Holder (8), Bruce Foxton (10), Chris Stein (14), Chris Rea (15), Ray Walker (17), Grace Slick (18), and Ian McCredie (20). Unpersons Celebrating its 10th year in the DDP, my regular theme team of Big Brother UK (including Celebrity Big Brother) housemates.  Last year's position on the team is given in brackets, where applicable. 1. (1) Linda Nolan 2. (2) James Whale 3. (3) Julie Goodyear 4. (4) Chris Ellison 5. (re) Alexander O'Neal 6. (10) Germaine Greer 7. (6) Gary Busey 8. (7) Ron Atkinson 9. (12) Ken Morley 10. (new) Bobby Davro 11. (8) Amanda Barrie 12. (13) Dirk Benedict 13. (re) Bruce Jones 14. (new) Denise Welch 15. (16) Kim Woodburn 16. (new) Katie Price 17. (new) La Toya Jackson 18. (new) Louis Walsh 19. (new) Angel McKenzie 20. (20) Lauren Harries This is the 3rd appearance for Chris Ellison and Alexander O'Neal, the 4th appearance for Kim Woodburn, the 5th appearance for James Whale and Dirk Benedict, the 6th appearance for Bruce Jones, the 7th appearance for Amanda Barrie, the 8th appearance for Linda Nolan and Ken Morley, the 9th appearance for Germaine Greer, and the 10th appearance for Julie Goodyear, Ron Atkinson, Gary Busey, and Lauren Harries. This team had no hits in 2024. Dropped from the team are: Anne Diamond (8), Leo Sayer (9), Jenna Jameson (11), Cheryl Fergison (14), Jess Impiazzi (15), Jermaine Jackson (17), Hardeep Singh Kohli (18), and India Willoughby (19).  Special:RandomInCategory/Living_people   Celebrating its 5th year in the DDP, my regular theme team in which I open 4000 random Wikipedia articles in the category 'Living people', and then whittle them down to the 20 who I believe are most likely to be hits this year. Names are presented as they are in their Wikipedia article titles; nevertheless, given the broad range of claims to fame, I've included an extra column to clarify what they're known for. 1. Felicity Green Swinging Sixties fashion journalist 2. Maksym Zhorin Ukrainian soldier 3. Chris Evert Tennis player 4. Tommy Hunt Flamingo 5. Katharine, Duchess of Kent Evidently a duchess 6. Jane Campbell, Baroness Campbell of Surbiton Former EHRC commissioner 7. Liver King Raw meat devourer 8. Jake Lloyd Young Anakin Skywalker 9. Maggi Hambling British sculptor and painter 10. Marilyn Maye American cabaret singer 11. Sheikh Sajjad Gul Kashmiri militant 12. Sihem Bensedrine Incarcerated Tunisian journalist 13. Omer Sarfraz Cheema Incarcerated ex-Governor of Punjab 14. George Nigh 17th and 22nd Governor of Oklahoma 15. George Khabbaz Lebanese actor, 'Under the Bombs' 16. Diabão Praddo Extreme body modifier; holds Guinness World Record for "most horns" 17. Micah Bowie Baseball player/botched spinal surgery victim 18. Elyana Malaysian singer 19. Carmen Vazquez Rivera World War II nurse 20. L.A. Reid American record label boss This team had one hit in 2024: Vardis Vardinogianiss (18). Given the nature of the team, all 19 survivors have been dropped for this year.

(I almost thought I'd be able to beat @YoungWillz to it for once.) Jimmy Carker Everyone slacken your jaws – Jimmy Carter has died at the age of 100, and a Deathlist forum page count of a billion. He was the longest-lived president in U.S. history, being alive right up until the moment of his death, despite appearances to the contrary. My deepest condolences to all 2025 deadpool admins, who are staring at their screens like this right now: It's Carter Carnage on the leaderboard – he received an impressive collective total of 1 point. Commiserations to @JoeMoneypenny, who plummets from 51st place with 57 points to 52nd place with 58 points. Any more surprises to come in the final couple of days of 2024? As things stand, @The Immortal looks set to celebrate the New Year as an Inverse Dead Pool champion. Unless... oh no... was that your Deathlist account, Jimmy? = 1. The Immortal 4 = 2. Hell 8 = 3. YoungWillz 11 = 4. ladyfiona 13 = 5. wannamaker 14 = 5. The Old Crem 14 = 7. MariNisia 16 = 7. Funeralopolis 16 = 9. Death Impends 17 = 10. machotrouts 19 = 11. An Fear Beag 21 = 11. CastAway 21 = 13. Nick 22 = 14. Summer in Transylvania 23 = 14. Grimgrass 23 = 14. LizLemon 23 = 17. The Unknown Man 24 = 17. Clorox Bleachman 24 = 17. Annami 24 = 20. Toast 25 = 20. arghton 25 = 22. Captain Hemlock 26 = 23. deadsox 28 = 23. Bibliogryphon 28 = 23. Joltin Joe 28 = 26. Spade_Cooley 29 = 26. Great Uncle Bulgaria 29 = 26. Newjack 29 = 26. Torva Messor 29 = 30. Pedro67 30 = 31. Lafaucheuse 32 = 32. TQR 34 = 33. maryportfuncity 35 = 33. tracy 35 = 35. Bentrovato 36 = 36. Book 38 = 37. Perhaps 39 = 38. livingbygrace 40 = 39. chilean way 41 = 40. theoldlady 42 = 41. MortalCaso 42 = 41. Thatcher 42 = 43. Sleepiestpeep 44 = 43. CaptainChorizo 44 = 45. Famous6Eva 48 = 46. BuffaloPhil 51 = 46. diego 51 = 48. En Passant 54 = 49. max_bossetti 55 = 50. YorkshireBanker 56 = 51. Sideik 57 ▼ 52. JoeMoneypenny +1 58 = 53. MalePoster 59 = 54. gcreptile 74 = 55. msc 76 = 56. GuyFromFuture 77 = 57. machotrouts' mum 91

Pegged It Fully June Spencer has bought the farm at the age of 105. Spencer, one of the few people surnamed "Spencer" not to have been a member of Dario G, was best known for her long-running role as wealthy farmer's wife Peggy Woolley in radio soap The Archers, which she played on-and-off since the 1950 pilot, and as a regular since 1961. She was the last remaining member of the original cast by the time she retired in 2022, aged 103. After enjoying 2 years of retirement, she embarked on a new career as the CEO of UnitedHealthcare and got shot dead in the steet. Who's affected by our Archers departure? It's a relatively fallow leaderboard update, yielding a small crop of points for @MalePoster, @maryportfuncity, @The Unknown Man, and, er, @machotrouts (she seemed fine, as far as semisupercentenarians go). More dramatically, @Pedro67 reaps the 9 points he sowed, ploughing right through the field of 20-something scores from 11th to 30th. But the worst hit is @theoldlady, who bet 18 points on the old lady. Oh no... was that you, June? GAINED TOTAL = 1. The Immortal 4 = 2. Hell 8 = 3. YoungWillz 11 = 4. ladyfiona 13 = 5. wannamaker 14 = 5. The Old Crem 14 = 7. MariNisia 16 = 7. Funeralopolis 16 = 9. Death Impends 17 ▼ 10. machotrouts +2 19 = 11. An Fear Beag 21 = 11. CastAway 21 ▲ 13. Nick 22 ▲ 14. Summer in Transylvania 23 ▲ 14. Grimgrass 23 ▲ 14. LizLemon 23 ▼ 17. The Unknown Man +3 24 ▲ 17. Clorox Bleachman 24 ▲ 17. Annami 24 ▲ 20. Toast 25 ▲ 20. arghton 25 ▲ 22. Captain Hemlock 26 ▲ 23. deadsox 28 ▲ 23. Bibliogryphon 28 ▲ 23. Joltin Joe 28 ▲ 26. Spade_Cooley 29 ▲ 26. Great Uncle Bulgaria 29 ▲ 26. Newjack 29 ▲ 26. Torva Messor 29 ▼ 30. Pedro67 +9 30 ▲ 31. Lafaucheuse 32 ▲ 32. TQR 34 = 33. maryportfuncity +2 35 ▲ 33. tracy 35 ▲ 35. Bentrovato 36 ▲ 36. Book 38 ▲ 37. Perhaps 39 ▲ 38. livingbygrace 40 ▲ 39. chilean way 41 ▼ 40. theoldlady +18 42 = 41. MortalCaso 42 = 41. Thatcher 42 = 43. Sleepiestpeep 44 = 43. CaptainChorizo 44 = 45. Famous6Eva 48 = 46. BuffaloPhil 51 = 46. diego 51 ▲ 48. En Passant 54 ▲ 49. max_bossetti 55 ▲ 50. YorkshireBanker 56 ▲ 51. Sideik 57 ▲ 51. JoeMoneypenny 57 ▼ 53. MalePoster +6 59 = 54. gcreptile 74 = 55. msc 76 = 56. GuyFromFuture 77 = 57. machotrouts' mum 91

Oh no. 19 points and an honesty award for @Captain Hemlock. Spreadsheet double-checked, and I've added together the points to confirm they now match Janey Godley's points total from the ranking at the start of the game (793), which I'll do as standard from now on. Here is the corrected leaderboard: GAINED TOTAL ▲ 1. The Immortal 4 ▲ 2. Hell 8 ▲ 3. YoungWillz 11 ▲ 4. ladyfiona +10 13 ▼ 5. wannamaker +14 14 ▼ 5. The Old Crem +14 14 ▼ 7. MariNisia +16 16 ▲ 7. Funeralopolis +4 16 ▼ 9. machotrouts +17 17 ▲ 9. Death Impends +9 17 ▼ 11. Pedro67 +21 21 ▼ 11. An Fear Beag +16 21 ▲ 11. CastAway +14 21 ▲ 11. The Unknown Man 21 ▼ 15. Nick +15 22 ▼ 16. Summer in Transylvania +22 23 ▼ 16. Grimgrass +18 23 ▲ 18. LizLemon +9 23 ▼ 19. Clorox Bleachman +18 24 ▲ 19. Annami +14 24 ▲ 21. theoldlady 24 ▼ 22. Toast +18 25 ▲ 22. arghton +13 25 ▼ 24. Captain Hemlock +19 26 ▼ 25. deadsox +23 28 ▼ 25. Bibliogryphon +22 28 ▲ 25. Joltin Joe 28 ▼ 28. Spade_Cooley +19 29 ▼ 28. Great Uncle Bulgaria +19 29 = 28. Newjack +15 29 ▲ 28. Torva Messor +6 29 ▼ 32. Lafaucheuse +21 32 ▲ 33. maryportfuncity +6 33 ▼ 34. TQR +24 34 ▼ 35. tracy +15 35 ▲ 36. Bentrovato 36 ▼ 37. Book +21 38 ▼ 38. Perhaps +22 39 ▲ 39. livingbygrace +1 40 ▲ 40. chilean way 41 ▼ 41. MortalCaso +16 42 ▲ 41. Thatcher 42 ▼ 43. Sleepiestpeep +22 44 ▼ 43. CaptainChorizo +19 44 ▼ 45. Famous6Eva +22 48 ▼ 46. BuffaloPhil +23 51 ▲ 46. diego +8 51 ▲ 48. MalePoster +10 53 ▼ 49. En Passant +16 54 ▼ 50. max_bossetti +16 55 ▼ 51. YorkshireBanker +23 56 ▼ 52. Sideik +21 57 ▼ 52. JoeMoneypenny +20 57 = 54. gcreptile +22 74 = 55. msc +23 76 = 56. GuyFromFuture +14 77 = 57. machotrouts' mum +23 91

Deadliness Is Next to Godleyness Janey Godley has died of ovarian cancer at the age of 63. Her claims to fame include a 30-year stand-up career, holding a sign that says TRUMP IS A CUNT, and dubbing Nicola Sturgeon's Covid briefings to make her threaten to stick a toe up the crack of your arse. The unexpected popularity of this niche fetish pornography resulted in the Scottish government hiring her to face a "stop the spike" campaign in 2021, exhorting people with large numbers of friends (not deadpoolers) to avoid large social gatherings. Unfortunately, this gave people more time to sit inside searching Twitter for "from:janeygodley 50 cent", and she lost her role in a Beauty and the Beast pantomime after old racist tweets resurfaced via The Daily Beast, the web's foremost news source for Beauty and the Beast-related controversies. A few months later, on the advice of her agent, she developed terminal cancer – making her a popular pick on the Derby Dead Pool – but she continued to live life to the full, touring and picking fights on Twitter – making her a popular pick on the Inverse Dead Pool. And now she's dead – making her an extremely unpopular pick on the Inverse Dead Pool. What hath Godley wrought? Our 47 Godley botherers include all 5 players who were on 0 points – @wannamaker and @The Old Crem (both now 6th place with 14 points), @MariNisia (8th with 16 points), @machotrouts (IS A CUNT), and @Pedro67 (12th with 21 points). Actually, it'll be quicker just to tag the 10 people who didn't put their faith in Godley. Congratulations to @Thatcher, @chilean way, @Bentrovato, @Joltin Joe, @theoldlady, @The Unknown Man, and especially: @YoungWillz, who moves from 20th to 4th; @Hell, who moves from 18th to 3rd; @Captain Hemlock, who moves from 14th to 2nd; and our new leader, @The Immortal, who moves from 8th to 1st. Is that your username or a description of your team? GAINED TOTAL ▲ 1. The Immortal 4 ▲ 2. Captain Hemlock 7 ▲ 3. Hell 8 ▲ 4. YoungWillz 11 ▲ 5. ladyfiona +10 13 ▼ 6. wannamaker +14 14 ▼ 6. The Old Crem +14 14 ▼ 8. MariNisia +16 16 ▲ 8. Funeralopolis +4 16 ▼ 10. machotrouts +17 17 ▲ 10. Death Impends +9 17 ▼ 12. Pedro67 +21 21 ▼ 12. An Fear Beag +16 21 ▲ 12. CastAway +14 21 ▲ 12. The Unknown Man 21 ▼ 16. Nick +15 22 ▼ 17. Summer in Transylvania +22 23 ▼ 17. Grimgrass +18 23 ▲ 17. LizLemon +9 23 ▼ 20. Clorox Bleachman +18 24 = 20. Annami +14 24 ▲ 20. theoldlady 24 ▼ 23. Toast +18 25 ▲ 23. arghton +13 25 ▼ 25. deadsox +23 28 ▼ 25. Bibliogryphon +22 28 ▲ 25. Joltin Joe 28 ▼ 28. Spade_Cooley +19 29 ▼ 28. Great Uncle Bulgaria +19 29 = 28. Newjack +15 29 ▲ 28. Torva Messor +6 29 ▼ 32. Lafaucheuse +21 32 ▲ 33. maryportfuncity +6 33 ▼ 34. TQR +24 34 ▼ 35. tracy +15 35 ▲ 36. Bentrovato 36 ▼ 37. Book +21 38 ▼ 38. Perhaps +22 39 ▲ 39. livingbygrace +1 40 ▲ 40. chilean way 41 ▼ 41. MortalCaso +16 42 ▲ 41. Thatcher 42 ▼ 43. Sleepiestpeep +22 44 ▼ 43. CaptainChorizo +19 44 ▼ 45. Famous6Eva +22 48 ▼ 46. BuffaloPhil +23 51 ▲ 46. diego +8 51 ▲ 48. MalePoster +10 53 ▼ 49. En Passant +16 54 ▼ 50. max_bossetti +16 55 ▼ 51. YorkshireBanker +23 56 ▼ 52. Sideik +21 57 ▼ 52. JoeMoneypenny +20 57 = 54. gcreptile +22 74 = 55. msc +23 76 = 56. GuyFromFuture +14 77 = 57. machotrouts' mum +23 91

Janey Godley Has Died... ...but I haven't updated for Bob Newhart's death yet. To be honest, I've been putting this off for months due to an annoying combination of 1: Newhart seemingly being very famous with a long illustrious career, and 2: me personally having no idea who he is. I don't mind not having heard of them when I only have a Wikipedia stub's worth of reading to do – pretty straightforward to get the gist of "Tom Smith (rugby union, born 1971)" – but having to read up on 6 decades of American TV, up to and including The Big Bang Theory and Young Sheldon? Kill me. Anyway, I've finally got my act together, and here's my thoughtful, well-researched obit: Looks like Bob really will need a "New hart" now!!! You're welcome. Here are the belated scores for after Newhart's death. If you're still doing well here, relish it before I write up Janey Godley's annihilation of you. GAINED TOTAL = 1. wannamaker 0 = 1. The Old Crem 0 = 1. MariNisia 0 = 1. Pedro67 0 = 1. machotrouts 0 = 6. Summer in Transylvania 1 ▲ 7. ladyfiona 3 ▲ 8. The Immortal +1 4 ▲ 9. Grimgrass 5 ▲ 9. deadsox 5 ▲ 9. An Fear Beag 5 ▼ 12. Clorox Bleachman +5 6 ▲ 12. Bibliogryphon 6 ▼ 14. Nick +5 7 ▲ 14. Toast 7 ▲ 14. Captain Hemlock 7 ▲ 14. CastAway 7 ▼ 18. Hell +7 8 ▲ 18. Death Impends 8 ▲ 20. TQR +1 10 ▲ 20. Spade_Cooley 10 ▲ 20. Great Uncle Bulgaria 10 ▲ 20. Annami 10 ▲ 20. Lafaucheuse 11 ▲ 20. YoungWillz 11 ▼ 26. Funeralopolis +5 12 ▼ 26. arghton +3 12 ▲ 28. Newjack 14 ▲ 28. LizLemon 14 ▲ 30. Perhaps 17 ▲ 30. Book 17 ▲ 32. tracy 20 ▲ 33. The Unknown Man 21 ▲ 34. Sleepiestpeep 22 ▼ 35. Torva Messor +10 23 ▼ 36. theoldlady +19 24 ▲ 37. CaptainChorizo 25 = 38. Famous6Eva +3 26 ▲ 38. MortalCaso 26 ▼ 40. maryportfuncity +4 27 ▼ 41. BuffaloPhil +4 28 ▲ 41. Joltin Joe +1 28 ▲ 43. YorkshireBanker 33 = 44. Bentrovato +5 36 ▲ 44. Sideik 36 ▼ 46. JoeMoneypenny +16 37 ▼ 47. En Passant +2 38 = 48. livingbygrace 39 = 48. max_bossetti 39 ▲ 50. chilean way 41 ▼ 51. Thatcher 42 ▼ 52. MalePoster +4 43 ▲ 52. diego 43 ▲ 54. gcreptile 52 ▲ 55. msc 53 ▲ 56. GuyFromFuture 63 ▼ 57. machotrouts' mum +17 68

Shannen (Annoyed Grunt)-erty Shannen Doherty, star of Beverly Hills 55, has died at the age of 90210. Best known for being president of the United States from 1977 to 1981, she was also the 76th governor of Georgia from 1971 to 1975, a Georgia state senator from 1963 to 1967, and Prue Halliwell in Charmed from 1998 to 2001. She went on to be the longest-lived president in U.S. history, and the second longest-lived Heather in Heathers history. She survived her wife of 77 years, Rosalynn Carter, whom she divorced in 2024. She was known as the "bad girl of the peanut industry". She was notable as one of the few card-carrying Republicans in Hollywood to be a presidential candidate for the Democratic Party, and one of the few dead people to never have actually died, and in fact still be alive today. It's been 9 years since she announced she had cancer, 8 years since she announced she had 5 years left to live, 4 years since she announced she had 10-15 years left to live, and 1 year since the cancer metastized to her brain – but 23 of you felt she had at least 1 more year left, including 5 of our heretofore-0-pointers: @The Immortal (+3 points), @ladyfiona (+3), @arghton (+9), @Spade_Cooley (+10) and @Great Uncle Bulgaria (+10). Congratulations to the remaining 0-pointers who did not pick Shannen Doherty, including the one who's never heard of Shannen Doherty outside this forum and has been putting off this obit for that reason. (How can "Beverly Hills 90210" be the name of a TV show? That's a spambot Twitter username.) Congratulations also to 1-pointer @Hell for uncharacteristically sneaking into the top 10 after two consecutive years in the bottom 10 – hope you don't get cold up here. Congratulations also to my mother, who smashes into the top 54 as @gcreptile (+9) and @msc (+17) land in the bottom three with new last-placer @GuyFromFuture (+17). Maybe the power of three will set you free? GAINED TOTAL = 1. wannamaker 0 = 1. The Old Crem 0 = 1. MariNisia 0 = 1. Pedro67 0 = 1. machotrouts 0 ▲ 6. Clorox Bleachman 1 ▲ 6. Summer in Transylvania 1 ▲ 6. Hell 1 ▲ 9. Nick 2 ▼ 10. The Immortal +3 3 ▼ 10. ladyfiona +3 3 ▲ 12. Grimgrass 5 ▲ 12. deadsox 5 ▲ 12. An Fear Beag 5 ▲ 12. theoldlady 5 ▲ 16. Bibliogryphon 6 ▲ 17. Toast +1 7 ▲ 17. Captain Hemlock 7 ▲ 17. CastAway 7 ▲ 17. Funeralopolis 7 ▲ 21. Death Impends 8 ▼ 22. arghton +9 9 ▲ 22. TQR 9 ▼ 24. Spade_Cooley +10 10 ▼ 24. Great Uncle Bulgaria +10 10 ▲ 24. Annami 10 ▼ 27. Lafaucheuse +5 11 ▲ 27. YoungWillz +1 11 ▲ 29. Torva Messor 13 ▼ 30. Newjack +5 14 ▲ 30. LizLemon 14 ▼ 32. Perhaps +12 17 ▲ 32. Book 17 ▼ 34. tracy +10 20 ▲ 35. JoeMoneypenny 21 ▲ 35. The Unknown Man 21 ▲ 37. Sleepiestpeep 22 ▼ 38. Famous6Eva +10 23 ▲ 38. maryportfuncity 23 ▲ 40. BuffaloPhil 24 ▼ 41. CaptainChorizo +4 25 ▲ 42. MortalCaso 26 ▼ 43. Joltin Joe +12 27 ▼ 44. Bentrovato +17 31 ▼ 45. YorkshireBanker +10 33 ▲ 46. En Passant 36 ▲ 46. Sideik 36 ▼ 48. livingbygrace +9 39 ▼ 48. max_bossetti +9 39 ▼ 48. MalePoster 39 ▼ 51. chilean way +16 41 ▲ 52. Thatcher 42 ▲ 53. diego 43 ▲ 54. machotrouts' mum +2 51 ▼ 55. gcreptile +9 52 ▼ 56. msc +17 53 ▼ 57. GuyFromFuture +17 63

Glad to be able to participate this time – I wanted to in 2019, but the deadline clash with the Derby Dead Pool (and most of the other pools on the forum) made it impossible. Unfortunately, here in 2024, I still underestimated how long it'd take to research and ended up last-minute-panicking most of it. Well, looking forward to 2029. LABOUR: 1. Sir Keir Starmer 2. Diane Abbott 3. John McDonnell 4. David Lammy 5. Sir Chris Bryant 6. Mary Foy 7. Clive Efford 8. Clive Betts 9. Clive Lewis 10. Jon Trickett 11. Nadia Whittome 12. Marie Rimmer 13. Graham Stringer 14. Wes Streeting 15. Jess Phillips 16. Rushanara Ali 17. Rosie Duffield 18. Apsana Begum 19. Valerie Vaz 20. Gill Furniss 21. Dame Nia Griffith 22. Debbie Abrahams 23. Neil Coyle 24. Liam Byrne 25. Dawn Butler 26. Charlotte Nichols 27. Kate Osamor 28. Sam Carling 29. Chris Bloore 30. Luke Akehurst CONSERVATIVE: 31. Rishi Sunak 32. Richard Holden 33. Kemi Badenoch 34. Suella Braverman 35. Robert Jenrick 36. Dame Priti Patel 37. Sir Roger Gale 38. Sir David Davis 39. Sir Christopher Chope 40. Sir Edward Leigh 41. Sir Julian Lewis 42. Sir Geoffrey Clifton-Brown 43. Sir Geoffrey Cox 44. Sir John Hayes 45. Mark Pritchard 46. Mark Garnier 47. Martin Vickers 48. Mark Francois 49. Andrew Mitchell 50. Andrew Bowie LIB DEM: 51. Sir Ed Davey INDEPENDENT: 52. Jeremy Corbyn 53. Shockat Adam 54. Iqbal Mohamed 55. Adnan Hussain 56. Ayoub Khan REFORM: 57. Nigel Farage 58. Richard Tice 59. Lee Anderson 60. Rupert Lowe 61. James McMurdock DUP: 62. Gregory Campbell 63. Sammy Wilson GREEN: 64. Siân Berry TUV: 65. Jim Allister (Haven't picked anyone from the SNP, Sinn Féin, Plaid, SDLP, Alliance, or UUP.)

Decay Um Ma Ma Ma Ask not for whom the sun chymes – it chymes for Dario G. Paul Spencer has died of rectal cancer at the age of 53. Spencer originally comprised one third of dance music outfit Dario G with two fellow DJs, Scott Rosser and Stephen Spencer (no relation). Their debut single, 'Sunchyme', based on a sample of the Dream Academy's 'Life in a Northern Town', charted at #2 in the UK – behind only 'Candle in the Wind 1997', Elton John's tribute to the late Diana Spencer (no relation). They had further hits with 'Sunmachine' (based on a sample of David Bowie's 'Memory of a Free Festival'), 'Carnaval de Paris' (based on a sample of 'Oh My Darling, Clementine'), and 'Voices' (fair play, they wrote that one). In later years, Rosser and Spencer (the other one) left the trio and Spencer (this one) became known solo under the Dario G name. Spencer G had further hits with 'Dream to Me', 'Carnaval 2002', and the repetitively-titled 'Heaven Is Closer (Feels Like Heaven)'. Fate was tempted (feels like tempting fate). In 2023, G was diagnosed with cancer where the Sun don't chyme, and became one of the top 50 picks in the Carnaval de Derby. @MalePoster and @gcreptile flew too close to the Sun, scoring 20 points apiece. Not far behind with 19 is @Thatcher – insult to injury after the fall of a Tory government. @GuyFromFuture, scoring 13, leads them into the bottom six, ahead of only my ma (ma ma). On the bright side, these big falls have enabled several scoring players – namely @En Passant (8 points), @diego (7), @Sideik (5), @livingbygrace (4), and @JoeMoneypenny (4) – to have small rises up the leaderboard. It's not often you get tagged to be congratulated on failing up. Three more players lose their perfect zero: @Grimgrass (5 points), @Toast (6), and @TQR (9). Ten players are still enjoying life in a northern leaderboard position. GAINED TOTAL = 1. wannamaker 0 = 1. arghton 0 = 1. Spade_Cooley 0 = 1. The Immortal 0 = 1. Great Uncle Bulgaria 0 = 1. The Old Crem 0 = 1. MariNisia 0 = 1. Pedro67 0 = 1. machotrouts 0 = 1. ladyfiona 0 ▲ 11. Clorox Bleachman 1 ▲ 11. Summer in Transylvania 1 ▲ 11. Hell 1 ▲ 14. Nick 2 ▼ 15. Grimgrass +5 5 = 15. deadsox +4 5 ▲ 15. An Fear Beag 5 ▲ 15. Perhaps 5 ▲ 15. theoldlady 5 ▼ 20. Toast +6 6 ▲ 20. Bibliogryphon 6 ▲ 20. Lafaucheuse 6 ▲ 23. Captain Hemlock 7 ▲ 23. CastAway 7 ▲ 23. Funeralopolis 7 ▼ 26. Death Impends +5 8 ▼ 27. TQR +9 9 ▲ 27. Newjack 9 ▲ 29. YoungWillz 10 ▲ 29. Annami 10 ▲ 29. tracy 10 ▲ 32. Famous6Eva 13 ▲ 32. Torva Messor 13 ▲ 34. Bentrovato 14 ▲ 34. LizLemon 14 ▲ 36. Joltin Joe 15 ▼ 37. Book +9 17 ▼ 38. CaptainChorizo +8 21 ▲ 38. JoeMoneypenny +4 21 ▲ 38. The Unknown Man 21 ▲ 41. Sleepiestpeep 22 = 42. YorkshireBanker +1 23 ▲ 42. maryportfuncity 23 ▲ 44. BuffaloPhil 24 ▲ 45. chilean way 25 ▲ 46. MortalCaso 26 ▲ 47. livingbygrace +4 30 ▲ 47. max_bossetti 30 ▲ 49. En Passant +8 36 ▲ 49. Sideik +5 36 ▲ 49. msc 36 ▼ 52. MalePoster +20 39 ▼ 53. Thatcher +19 42 ▼ 54. gcreptile +20 43 ▲ 54. diego +7 43 ▼ 56. GuyFromFuture +13 46 = 57. machotrouts' mum 49

Wildlife DOA (Wildlife) Simon Cowell has died of cancer at the age of 72. Presciently christened "(Wildlife)" by his parents in 1952 – preempting any possibility of his being confused with the talent show judge Simon Cowell – he grew up to lend his name to the charity "Wildlife Aid" and the TV show "Wildlife SOS", which he hosted for 18 years. He was even appointed an MBE in 2005 for "services to wildlife", so he must have looked after himself. Nevertheless, (Wildlife) was diagnosed with an aggressive lung cancer in 2022. Whoever's responsible for disambiguating names in the Derby Dead Pool was diagnosed with an aggressive headache shortly after. (Wildlife) was also known for his profanity, with Wildlife Aid patron and cunt Ricky Gervais once describing him as "David Attenborough with Tourette's". An Inverse Dead Pool stalwart himself, David Attenborough is now described as "(Wildlife) Simon Cowell with a pulse". (Wildlife) Simon Cowell was certainly the less popular pick of the two, causing mild strife for @MortalCaso (1 point), @Sideik (2), @JoeMoneypenny (5), and @Captain Hemlock (5). But one player is sending out an SOS: @chilean way (12), who's dug down from 1st to 48th in just two updates. Named after the miners, perhaps? GAINED TOTAL = 1. TQR 0 = 1. Grimgrass 0 = 1. wannamaker 0 = 1. arghton 0 = 1. Spade_Cooley 0 = 1. The Immortal 0 = 1. Toast 0 = 1. Great Uncle Bulgaria 0 = 1. The Old Crem 0 = 1. MariNisia 0 = 1. Pedro67 0 = 1. machotrouts 0 = 1. ladyfiona 0 = 14. Clorox Bleachman 1 = 15. deadsox 1 = 15. Summer in Transylvania 1 = 15. Hell 1 = 18. Nick 2 ▲ 19. Death Impends 3 ▲ 20. An Fear Beag 5 ▲ 20. Perhaps 5 ▲ 20. theoldlady 5 ▲ 23. Bibliogryphon 6 ▲ 23. Lafaucheuse 6 ▼ 25. Captain Hemlock +5 7 ▲ 25. CastAway 7 ▲ 25. Funeralopolis 7 = 28. Book 8 ▲ 29. Newjack 9 ▼ 30. YoungWillz +2 10 ▲ 30. Annami 10 ▲ 30. tracy 10 ▲ 33. CaptainChorizo 13 ▲ 33. Famous6Eva 13 ▲ 33. Torva Messor 13 ▲ 36. Bentrovato 14 ▲ 36. LizLemon 14 ▲ 38. Joltin Joe 15 ▼ 39. JoeMoneypenny +5 17 ▲ 40. MalePoster 19 ▲ 41. The Unknown Man 21 ▲ 42. YorkshireBanker 22 ▲ 42. Sleepiestpeep 22 ▲ 44. maryportfuncity 23 ▲ 44. Thatcher 23 ▲ 44. gcreptile 23 ▲ 47. BuffaloPhil 24 ▼ 48. chilean way +12 25 = 49. MortalCaso +1 26 ▲ 49. livingbygrace 26 = 51. En Passant 28 ▲ 52. max_bossetti 30 ▼ 53. Sideik +2 31 = 54. GuyFromFuture 33 = 55. msc 36 = 55. diego 36 = 57. machotrouts' mum 49

To Kill a Hooker Rugby league player Rob Burrow has died at the age of 41. Noted for his relatively diminutive height – at the last measurement, minus six feet tall – Burrow played for 18 years with the Leeds Rhinos, with whom he won eight Super League championships, and also played for England, Great Britain, and Yorkshire, which probably makes sense to people who follow sport outside of paraphrasing Wikipedia articles for obits. He was diagnosed with motor neurone disease in December 2019, so at least he had something to distract him from the last two general election campaigns. In his final years, he raised over £6 million for MND awareness. Going by his popularity with deadpoolers, it paid off. Unfortunately, 8 Inverse Dead Pool players misheard about his MND and thought he was on the mend. This includes 3 players who were in the 0-point scrum: @Clorox Bleachman, now on 1; @Captain Hemlock, now on 2; and @chilean way, who burrows down to the bottom half of the leaderboard with 13 points. 13 players – a rugby team's worth, as it happens – remain on 0. I wonder which of us is the hooker? GAINED TOTAL = 1. TQR 0 = 1. Grimgrass 0 = 1. wannamaker 0 = 1. arghton 0 = 1. Spade_Cooley 0 = 1. The Immortal 0 = 1. Toast 0 = 1. Great Uncle Bulgaria 0 = 1. The Old Crem 0 = 1. MariNisia 0 = 1. Pedro67 0 = 1. machotrouts 0 = 1. ladyfiona 0 ▼ 14. Clorox Bleachman +1 1 ▲ 15. deadsox 1 ▲ 15. Summer in Transylvania 1 ▲ 15. Hell 1 ▼ 18. Captain Hemlock +2 2 ▲ 18. Nick 2 ▲ 20. Death Impends 3 ▲ 21. An Fear Beag 5 ▲ 21. Perhaps 5 ▲ 21. theoldlady 5 ▲ 24. Bibliogryphon 6 ▲ 24. Lafaucheuse 6 ▲ 26. CastAway 7 ▲ 26. Funeralopolis 7 ▲ 28. YoungWillz 8 ▲ 28. Book 8 ▲ 30. Newjack 9 = 31. Annami +1 10 ▲ 31. tracy 10 ▲ 33. JoeMoneypenny 12 ▼ 34. chilean way +13 13 ▲ 34. CaptainChorizo 13 ▲ 34. Famous6Eva 13 ▲ 34. Torva Messor 13 ▲ 38. Bentrovato 14 ▲ 38. LizLemon 14 ▼ 40. Joltin Joe +4 15 ▲ 41. MalePoster 19 ▲ 42. The Unknown Man 21 ▲ 43. YorkshireBanker 22 ▲ 43. Sleepiestpeep 22 ▲ 45. maryportfuncity 23 ▲ 45. Thatcher 23 ▲ 45. gcreptile 23 ▼ 48. BuffaloPhil +6 24 ▲ 49. MortalCaso 25 ▼ 50. livingbygrace +7 26 = 51. En Passant 28 = 52. Sideik 29 = 53. max_bossetti 30 = 54. GuyFromFuture 33 = 55. msc 36 = 55. diego 36 = 57. machotrouts' mum +1 49

This Field Cannot Be Left Frank Frank Field, the Birkenhead Social Justice Party MP for Birkenhead from 2019 to 2019 – also previously known for his brief 40-year stint as a Labour MP – has died of prostate cancer at the age of 81. A small-c conservative who was repeatedly courted for a potential defection by the big-C Conservatives – a party he was a member of in his youth – Field was considered a "maverick" and "independent thinker" in the Labour Party. He advocated for the return of national service, proposed further restrictions on immigration and abortion, denounced Jeremy Corbyn as a "force for anti-Semitism in British politics", featured on the Telegraph's list of the UK's "100 most influential Right-wingers", and was personal friends with Enoch Powell and Margaret Thatcher – all the usual signifiers of a Labour MP – but also, uncharacteristically for his party, campaigned against child poverty. Thankfully, he left before Starmer had to suspend him for these extreme left-wing beliefs. Despite being the 13th least picked candidate in the Inverse Dead Pool 2024, things were on the uptick for him – he was the 11th least picked in 2023, and the least picked outright in 2022, the year after he first checked into hospice care. I look forward to writing Jimmy Carter's obit in 2026. Former Inverse champions @Bibliogryphon and @YorkshireBanker are among the few who fielded Field as a candidate, but they only risked a respective 2 and 3 points on it. Someone whose chances have been levelled by playing Field, with 15 points, is @GuyFromFuture. Frankly, I'm beginning to think you aren't really from the future at all. Much like Frank when he went for his prostate exam 10 years ago, we have movement at the bottom. With my mum's team mainly being whoever she doesn't want to die, I have an outsize influence on her picks in the short descriptions I give of people she isn't really familiar with – "Frank Field, Labour MP" got 14 points, but if I'd described him as "Frank Field, hardline Brexiteer", it'd probably be 0. So, arguably, I'm responsible for her taking back last place. You're welcome, @diego. GAINED TOTAL = 1. TQR 0 = 1. Grimgrass 0 = 1. Captain Hemlock 0 = 1. wannamaker 0 = 1. arghton 0 = 1. chilean way 0 = 1. Spade_Cooley 0 = 1. The Immortal 0 = 1. Toast 0 = 1. Great Uncle Bulgaria 0 = 1. The Old Crem 0 = 1. MariNisia 0 = 1. Pedro67 0 = 1. machotrouts 0 = 1. Clorox Bleachman 0 = 1. ladyfiona 0 = 17. deadsox 1 = 17. Summer in Transylvania 1 = 17. Hell 1 = 20. Nick 2 = 21. Death Impends 3 ▲ 22. An Fear Beag 5 ▲ 22. Perhaps 5 ▲ 22. theoldlady 5 ▼ 25. Bibliogryphon +2 6 ▲ 25. Lafaucheuse 6 = 27. CastAway 7 = 27. Funeralopolis 7 ▲ 29. YoungWillz 8 ▲ 29. Book 8 ▼ 31. Newjack +2 9 ▲ 31. Annami 9 = 33. tracy 10 = 34. Joltin Joe 11 = 35. JoeMoneypenny 12 = 36. CaptainChorizo 13 = 36. Famous6Eva 13 = 36. Torva Messor 13 = 39. Bentrovato 14 = 39. LizLemon 14 = 41. BuffaloPhil 18 ▲ 42. livingbygrace 19 ▲ 42. MalePoster 19 ▲ 44. The Unknown Man 21 ▼ 45. YorkshireBanker +3 22 ▲ 45. Sleepiestpeep 22 ▲ 47. maryportfuncity 23 ▲ 47. Thatcher 23 ▲ 47. gcreptile 23 ▲ 50. MortalCaso 25 ▲ 51. En Passant 28 ▲ 52. Sideik 29 ▲ 53. max_bossetti 30 ▼ 54. GuyFromFuture +15 33 ▼ 55. msc +8 36 ▲ 55. diego 36 ▼ 57. machotrouts' mum +14 48