Clorox Bleachman

I noticed there are no pictures of him after the transplant (the picture of him with the doctor was before). The surgery being "successful" after 3 days doesn't say much, aside from the fact that the heart hasn't stopped or been rejected straight away.

The Weeknd has aged 50 years in the last month, one to consider:

I'm not on the masterlist. Sorry if you saw a PM titled "20 people I think will be having unprotected sex in the next 15 months" and got the wrong idea, Crem.

From BBC Pidgin: How dog eat owner private part for Calabar

The Greatest Snowman (Channel 4, Christmas Eve) is 90 minutes long but you only need to see the first half hour. Sue Perkins saying "ready, steady, snow", the creepy twins always at her side to critique the celebrities attacking huge snow blocks with chainsaws, Dani Dyer having the drawing skills of a toddler and making a big old crater where her snow doll's face should be. Lawrence Llewelyn-Bowen is told not to carve out the underbelly of his lion sculpture, but gets cocky and does it anyway (the fool! This is the part where I'm supposed to flex my knowledge of structural mechanics). When the torso shears off and rolls away, he fixes it by kicking the whole thing on its side because it looks like it's asleep. Potential cult classic.

I probably won't submit anything. The whole deadpooling thing doesn't spark joy. I only put in 2 (?) teams all year and went away from the forum for 4 months. I'm very much not well, in all honesty, but I prefer to keep my neurotic ramblings offline. We'll see what happens come Hogmanay.

I was exposed to Whamma radiation for about 2 seconds by a colleague who has shit music taste and was shuffling songs, am I out? What's the grace period?

Aaaand the account is gone. Didn't get enough attention?

Come on, guys, his only 5 tweets are very impersonal R.I.P.s to his 'wife' in different languages. Give it 20 minutes before we get the tweet about it being a hoax by that Italian guy.

Condolences to @Vinegar Tits.

What would you do if when you okay so he said yes would go?

I used to name and shame people who voted for the loser but, as with my entire existence, I started neglecting it at some point in the last 2 years and don't know how to set it right so I just pretend it doesn't exist. Oops.

To be fair, that doesn't say much about Zayn. Plenty of us would also slap Yolanda Hadid if given the chance.

Interesting that someone who eats food prepared by a Cordon Bleu-trained chef would end up with stomach cancer... the exact same thing happened to Holly Clegg.