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Johnny Carson Rip

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Johnny Carson has been battling emphysema for the last couple of years and has already had quadruple-bypass heart surgery. He could be a strong candidate for 2005. Who will ever forget his famous line - "Heeere's Johnny!"

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Guest One Man Jury

Unless I'm mistaken, I think you'll find that someone else introduced him with ""Heeere's Johnny!" although I would not put anything past that turd.

 

Still, a good candidate for death as you say. If he does snuff it in 2005, maybe they will say ""Wheere's Johnny?"

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Guest Guest Farker

Fark.com is reporting the death of Johnny Carson.

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Guest waz

also dead reports in netherlands

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Guest Guest Farker

In a busy day for deaths, there are now also reports floating of Rose Mary Woods, the lady responsible for managing the Nixon tapes.

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In a busy day for deaths,  there are now also reports floating of Rose Mary Woods, the lady responsible for managing the Nixon tapes.

Deadwood

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Johnny Carson was the undisputed king or late night television. He had a good run on the "Tonight Show" from 1962 - 1992.

 

I'll never forget his all famous introduction by side-kick Ed McMahon - "Heeeeere's Johnny!"

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Guest Daisy Pusher

I knew he was a smoker, but hadn't heard about his illness. My mom told me it had been in all the tabloids over here. I may have to start reading them again, they seem to have gotten this one right. Sad that he is gone, he was a genuine man that honestly seemed to care.

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Guest Q. Steltanus

So another miss for deathlist.net! The list is getting off to an extremely slow start in 2005!

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Now there's two words you don't usually want in the same sentence; rip & Johnny

:lol:

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Johnny Carson was the undisputed king or late night television. He had a good run on the "Tonight Show" from 1962 - 1992.

 

I'll never forget his all famous introduction by side-kick Ed McMahon - "Heeeeere's Johnny!"

Speaking of Ed McMahon, he's getting up there as well, 82 this year. Was he a smoker as well? :lol:

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Guest IYG
Johnny Carson was the undisputed king or late night television. He had a good run on the "Tonight Show" from 1962 - 1992.

 

I'll never forget his all famous introduction by side-kick Ed McMahon - "Heeeeere's Johnny!"

Speaking of Ed McMahon, he's getting up there as well, 82 this year. Was he a smoker as well? :lol:

If not, maybe he could die of second hand smoking. :lol:

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Some of the gags from his "Carnac the Magnificent" routines. (Except for the first one.)

 

ANSWER: Carnac The Magnificent/

QUESTION: Who won't be coming down for breakfast anymore?

 

ANSWER: Gatorade.

QUESTION: What does an alligator get on welfare?

 

ANSWER: Bible belt.

QUESTION: What holds up Oral Roberts' pants?

 

ANSWER: Milk and honey.

QUESTION: What do you get from a bee that has an udder?

 

ANSWER: Clean air, a virgin and a gas station open on Sunday.

QUESTION: Name three things you won't find in Los Angeles.

 

ANSWER: Black and white and twenty feet tall.

QUESTION: Describe Sister Mary Kong.

 

ANSWER: Ben Gay.

QUESTION: Why didn't Mrs. Franklin have any kids?

 

ANSWER: An unmarried woman.

QUESTION: What was Elizabeth Taylor between 3 and 5 pm on June 1, 1952?

 

ANSWER: Disjoint.

QUESTION: What was dat hippie smoking?

 

ANSWER: The Laughing Policeman.

QUESTION: What do you call a cop who frisks himself?

 

ANSWER: Dustin Hoffman.

QUESTION: Describe someone cleaning his Hoffman.

 

ANSWER: Until he gets caught.

QUESTION: How long does a United States Congressman serve?

 

ANSWER: Old wives tale.

QUESTION: What do cannibals find hard to digest?

 

ANSWER: Rub-a-dub-dub.

QUESTION: What does a masseuse do to your dub-dub?

 

ANSWER: Shareholder.

QUESTION: What did Sonny Bono used to be?

 

ANSWER: Skalliwags.

QUESTION: What does your skalli do when it's happy?

 

ANSWER: David Frost.

QUESTION: On a cold morning what forms on your david?

 

ANSWER: Head and shoulders.

QUESTION: What do you see if you open the trunk of the Godfather's car?

 

ANSWER: Hickory Dickory Dock.

QUESTION: Who do you go to when you have a pain in your hickory dickory?

 

ANSWER: "Rose Bowl."

QUESTION: What do you say when it's Rose's turn at the bowling alley?

 

ANSWER: That darn cat.

QUESTION: Who ruined that darn rug?

 

ANSWER: High rollers.

QUESTION: Describe a stoned bowling team.

 

ANSWER: Gunga din.

QUESTION: What do you hear when you put an amplifier in your gunga?

 

ANSWER: "Follow the yellow brick road."

QUESTION: What are good directions to a urologist's office?

 

ANSWER: At both ends.

QUESTION: Where do New Yorkers put their dogs muzzles?

 

ANSWER: Igloo.

QUESTION: What do you use to keep your ig from falling off?

 

ANSWER: R-O-L-A-I-D-S.

QUESTION: How does a stupid person spell "backgammon"?

 

ANSWER: Grape Nuts.

QUESTION: What are Ernest and Julio Gallo?

 

ANSWER: Supervisor.

QUESTION: What does Clark Kent wear to keep the sun out of his eyes?

 

ANSWER: Crabgrass.

QUESTION: What do crabs get high on?

 

ANSWER: Shake-N-Bake.

QUESTION: Describe a double feature with Earthquake and The Towering Inferno.

 

ANSWER: Blazing Saddles.

QUESTION: What do they put on horses at the Preparation H Ranch?

 

ANSWER: Flypaper.

QUESTION: What do you use to gift wrap a zipper?

 

ANSWER: Deep freeze.

QUESTION: Name an Eskimo porno film.

 

ANSWER: Bedbug.

QUESTION: What would Republicans use to eavesdrop on a hooker?

 

Bye Johnny, thanks for the laughs.

  • Angry 1

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Some of the gags from his "Carnac the Magnificent" routines. (Except for the first one.)

 

ANSWER: Carnac The Magnificent/

QUESTION: Who won't be coming down for breakfast anymore?

 

etc.

All of which explain why he never made it big in Britain...

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Some of the gags from his "Carnac the Magnificent" routines.

etc.

All of which explain why he never made it big in Britain...

Or elsewhere for that matter, LP3.

 

The only gags in there were me choking on a large chunk of mediocrity. Sorry Typhoid Harry, but Carnac sounds to me like he was anything but Magnificent.

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Or elsewhere for that matter, LP3.

You mean there are places outside of Britain?

 

LP3. I like that. :rip: Reminds me of ID4 and other cheesy movie acroynms.

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You mean there are places outside of Britain?

Duh! Of course there is. There's the USA, Europe, the rest of the Empire and then there's those other countries that all those other Johnny foreigners come from.

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For those who have not seen the link to the New York Times letters pages, I enclose a cut and paste of the letter from Steve Martin to the late Johnny Carson.

I post it because I'm off and running in the Derby Dead Pool with his sad passing.

 

 

 

The Man in Front of the Curtain

By STEVE MARTIN

Published: January 25, 2005

Los Angeles

 

DEAR JOHNNY,

 

This letter comes a little late.

 

I remember seeing the tape of my first appearance on your show, on a home recording, a reel-to-reel Sony prototype video recorder, probably around 1972. What my friends and I ended up watching was not me, but you. It's almost impossible to look away from oneself onscreen, but you made it possible, because there were lessons in what you did. You and Jack Benny taught me about generosity toward other comedians, about the appreciation of the plight of the pro, as valuable as any lessons I ever learned.

 

Your gift - though I'm sure you wouldn't have called it a gift - was, as I see it, a blend of modesty and confidence. You wanted to do the job and do it well. You allowed the spirit of your idols, Stan Laurel and Jonathan Winters among them, to creep into you, and you found a way to twist their inspiration and make it new. In you I saw simplicity, joy, politeness, sympathy. Your death reminds me of the loss of America's innocence, the distance we have come from your sly, boyish leers to our flagrant, overstated embarrassments for parents and children.

 

If I could wake you up for a minute, I would ask you to tell me how good you thought you were. "Between you and me," I think you would whisper, "I know I was great in a subtle, secret way." I think you would also say: "I enjoyed and understood the delights of split-second timing, of watching a comedian squirm and then rescue himself, of the surprises that arise from the fractional seconds of desperation when the comedian senses that the end of his sentence might fall to silence."

 

Your Nebraskan pragmatism - and knowledge of the magician's tricks - tilted you toward the sciences, especially astronomy. (Maybe this is why the occultists, future predictors, spoon-benders or mind readers on your show never left without having been challenged.) You knew how to treat everyone, from the pompous actor to the nervous actress, and which to give the appropriate kindness. You enjoyed the unflappable grannies who knitted log-cabin quilts, as well as the Vegas pros who machine-gunned the audience into hysterical fits. You were host to writers, children, intellectuals and nitwits and served them all well, and served the audience by your curiosity and tolerance. You gave each guest the benefit of the doubt, and in this way you exemplified an American ideal: you're nuts but you're welcome here.

 

We loved watching baby tigers paw you and koalas relieve themselves on you and seeing you in your swami hat or Tarzan loincloth, and we loved hearing Ed's ripostes and watching you glare at him as though you were going to fire him, but we knew you weren't.

 

We, the millions whom you affected, will weep inside when we see the reruns, the clips of you walking out from behind the curtain, the moment in the monologue when a joke bombed; we'll recall your deep appreciation of both genuine and struggling talent.

 

Because you retreated into retirement so completely, let me thank you, in death, for the things I couldn't quite say to you in life. Thank you for the opportunity you gave me and others, and thank you - despite divisive wars and undulating political strife - for the one hour a night across 30 years of American life when we were entertained purely, delightfully and wisely.

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Carson couldn't hardly tell a joke without laughing about it himself......anyone who does that is allright in my book!

 

:rolleyes:

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