HARE'S DEATH POOL 2025

[An Fear Beag 1,558]

HARE’S DEATH POOL 2025 – 12^th Edition

 

With the 11^th edition of this much-loved pool meandering aimlessly to a conclusion, it’s time to generate a bit of pre-Christmas excitement by officially launching the 2025 edition. The pool has grown steadily in numbers over the past few years, and I will be aiming to top last year’s record of 63 entries. Thanks to you all for playing, and hopefully we will see most of you back again next year (even Chel’s obscure Russians).

(I have just realized that this is my 5^th year of running this damn thing - I really, really do need to get a life).

 

A few deadpool regulars sat it out in the last year or two. Hopefully we might see some of them back again this year as I know that we will also be losing some more stalwarts of this game, and of deadpooling in general.

 

New participants are especially welcome, and I will aim again not to be (too) rude to you. It’s a very easy pool to enter - just gather together 25 names and send them in. No further work needed after that. Add a few names to your DDP team, and you are there. Divide your Numbers team in half and, bingo, you’ve got a Hares team! If you are worried about a QO in other pools, no need to panic - this is the place for them (although you may want to avoid the really quirky local-fame types – it’s amazing how local rags tend to forget about them once they actually snuff it). Your picks just have to die, and they have to take their bloody time about doing it.
 

The rules are published below, and they haven’t changed.  Most of you know them by now – no cancer-mums, no family members, and no scumbag criminals. The requirement for a proper obit stays the same, although as is traditional, it will be the lowest of low bars on QOs.

 

I ask this every year, and to be fair, you have mostly all been very obliging. But I will ask again – could players please take heed of the following request for formatting your team before entry. It makes my Christmas and January a lot easier if I don’t have to spent ages re-writing lists and deleting numbers.

 

SEND YOUR TEAM TO ME BY PM, OR POST IT UP ON THIS THREAD. NO OTHER METHODS OF ENTRY ARE ACCEPTED.

·       List picks in alphabetical order of FIRST name. I realise that I am the only host who asks this and I don’t care. I am a special, unique individual.

·       Put names in Capital letters.

·       Do not put numbers in front of the name. This is the worst of all, as I cannot get a spreadsheet to remove them automatically. But please do count them to make sure that there are actually 25 of them – it’s not that difficult.

·       Put description in brackets after name, only if they are really obscure or likely to be easily confused with another celebrity. Trust me- I know who Jimmy Carter is.

·       Mark one pick as a Joker (or wildcard- I don’t care what you call them)

 

I will accept entries that are not in this format. But I won’t be happy about it, and I’m generally not a very happy bunny (or tortoise?).

 

Best of luck to you all.

 

[An Fear Beag 1,558]

The Rules 

 

1) Your Team

 

1. All teams must contain 25 people with some claim to fame (See FFBI section) and a nominated Joker amongst the main 25. If no Joker is nominated, the first name on your list will automatically become your Joker. A maximum 5 subs are permitted for any picks who die before the starting line, or any picks who are disallowed by the host. It is strongly recommended that a player submits subs, as the host will not bother to chase you for a sub should one or more of your players fail to make the starting line.

 

2. All picks must be human beings aged over 18 on January 1st of the game year. Picks who appear at the commencement of the game to be human, but are subsequently found to be shape-shifting reptilians will still be valid (e.g. Prince Philip). Pond-scum who show only the vaguest signs of being human will also be allowed (e.g. Jacob Rees-Mogg,) They will still be subject to rule 4.2 below which prohibits the murder of picks, however tempting it might be.

 

3. Death row prisoners only score if they die of other causes. Those still on trial will still score points if sentenced to execution after 0000 on January 1st. (HOWEVER, SEE RULE 5.5 ON FAME CRITERIA FOR CRIMINALS)

 

4. Entries must be posted in the annual Hares Death Pool thread or PMed to the game runner. Entries sent by any other method will be completely ignored.

 

5. The competition automatically opens for entries at 0001 on the 1st December and closes at 2359 on December 31st.

 

6. Substitutes will be automatically promoted if a pick dies before the game commences., or if a pick is disqualified by the host. Substitutions will be allowed for the entire duration of the game until 23.59 on 31^st December 2024. If someone has not provided sufficient substitutes to cover picks who died prematurely or were disqualified, they will play the game with a numerically disadvantaged team. In the unlikely case a player uses all 5 substitutes on picks who died before January 1st, they will not be allowed to add another pick, and will start the game with one pick short should a 6^th pick die. Let’s face it, if you are so bad at this game that 6 picks die before it even starts, then you deserve some sort of penalty.

 

7. Absolutely no effort will be made by the host to clarify who your picks are, should there be confusion. Frankly, I do have a few better things to do with my life. The original Hare's host was always incredibly lenient on this front and seemed to take pleasure is corresponding with participants for clarification on picks. The current host does no such thing. If you do insist on picking obscure names (which are actually warmly welcomed), we recommend you put a brief description in brackets which will assist the host in assigning the correct name (see Rule 10 below). This is unnecessary for the blindingly obvious.

 

For example, this is good:

Thomas Nilsson (Swedish jockey)

This is a touch excessive:
              Queen Elizabeth 2 – Royal

 

8. If the host is not certain who a pick is (which to be fair is actually most picks), the player will be assigned the first living name that comes up on a google search, regardless of how young, healthy, or obviously-not-the-intended-pick they are (the “Stuart Gray” rule). If no suitable name comes up on page 1 of a google search, the pick will be disregarded and a sub will move up.

For example, if you wish to select John Smith, the former Wigan and Oldham player who is now head coach at Cornell University, then perhaps enter John Smith (Cornell Coach).

If you enter John Smith with no description, then page 1 of a Google search gives the explorer of Pocahantas fame and the dead former Labour leader, and so the pick will be invalid. If you enter John Smith (football) then the first living person who comes up is the former New England Patriots kicker who will then be your (probably better) pick.

If your pick is so obscure that they do not appear on page 1 of a google search, a link to a suitable article on the person is acceptable and advised.

 

9. Entries are welcomed up until the deadline of 23.59.59 on 31st December. The fine tradition of abusing players who post late on New Years Eve is not generally carried on by the current host, as he is usually too pissed to care.

 

10. Late entries are not permitted. No exceptions. Don’t even think about it. Seriously.

 

11.  The host may accept clarifications to picks made after the team has been submitted. This will be solely at the discretion of the host, and will largely depend on the hosts mood at that time. The host’s mood is usually not good, so I wouldn’t bank on it.

No alterations to the master-list will be made after 00.01 on January 1^st 2024

 

 

 

 

 

 

2) Obituary Rules

1. Celebrities qualify if they achieve an obituary or article about their death in a local, national or even specialist newspaper, magazine or website. The article does not need to specifically relate to their death, instead just mention it.

The Hare’s Pool has always been extremely lenient when it comes to accepting “obits” and that will be continued. Unlike other pools, a QO is not used as a barometer of fame – the weeding out process is carried out before the game begins.

Basically, anything that convinces the host that the person is actually dead will be accepted (See Point 3).

2. The obit may be published in any language but entrants should give the host a translation if it is not in English.

(It has been a tradition for foreign dead pool players to submit local hero teams of DDP useless picks to the Hares pools on account of this and the current host heartily welcomes such entries – how else is he going to learn about Singaporean Ceramacists!)

3. Paid for obituary sites are not specialist websites and will be not accepted as proof of death, as unscrupulous (and frankly desperate) players could pay for an obituary. The same applies to death notice sections of otherwise acceptable sources.

 

4. Social media posts, Wikipedia pages, personal blogs etc do not count. 

 

5. The cut-off period for obituaries is 2359 on the 7th January the year after the competition ends. (Death date must be recorded as 31st December at the latest). While the host will make every effort to search for obituaries before this date, it is ultimately the responsibility of the player to bring deaths and obits to the attention of the host. No death notices will be accepted after this date, even if the final scoreboard has not yet been published and a winner declared.

 

3) Scoring Rules

 

1. The overall points system is incredibly simple:

 

a)     1 Point for each full day of the year that passes before your celebs death (if they die on the 10th of January you are awarded 9 points for example) up until the games close at midnight on the 31st December.

 

b)     If one of your "celebrities" dies on 31st December in that game year, they will receive a 250 point Betty Bonus, named after the hosts 3^rd favourite Golden Girl, and 5^th favourite Betty. (A 31st December death will score 614 points in a normal year or 615 points in a leap year rather than the 364 or 365 points it would normally accrue)

 

c)     Celebrities picked as a Joker will receive double points (i.e if they die on the 9th January you'll get 16 points, in case you don’t know what “double” means). Jokers are calculated before the 250 point bonus, meaning a 31st December joker will score 978 in a normal year and 980 in a leap year. 

 

d)     In the impressive event of all 25 of your team dying you will receive a 500 point bonus (not that you will need it).

 

2. For the purposes of determining the date of death of a celebrity, the information to hand will be used to determine the points allocated to the competitors who chose the person.

In the event that an exact date is available

a)     Journalistic phrases such as “on Wednesday”, or “last night/yesterday” will count as dates of death, with the date being determined by the tedious process of working it out.

In the event that a more vague phrase is used such as “Last week” or “recently”, the host will use his own discretion to determine a likely date of death, based on the phrase and the context used. The hosts decision on this shall be final, but is also changeable should further information subsequently become available.

b)     In the event that only the month of death is in the obituary, points will be awarded to the first date of the month that has been given ('the Leah Bracknell' rule) if a date is subsequently given before the closure of the competition window the remaining points will be added to the total.

 

c)     In the very unfortunate event that only the year of death is provided in the qualifying obituary the poor bastard who picked them will be awarded points to the first day of the year that is given (which the savvy among you will have worked out is 0 points). 

 

 

3. In the unlikely event of a tie at the end of the game, the following criteria will be used to determine a winner

a.     Person with LOWEST number of hits during the year wins

b.     If both teams level on hits, the person with the last hit of the year wins

c.      If both equal on b., the person with the 2nd last, 3^rd last etc will win.

 

 

4) The “Don't Be A Cunt” Rules

 

1. Blatant plagiarism of another person’s team (in the opinion of the host) is punishable by expulsion and a 5-year ban on entering the competition. It is also fairly pointless in this game, so why bother.
2. Murdering your chosen "celebrities" is against the rules. While the host greatly admires dedication to dead-pooling above and beyond the call of duty, and was tempted to relax this rule as a result, the site’s lawyers have pointed out that it is actually illegal and should probably not be encouraged (not to mention it gives us a worse name than we currently have).
3. Players are forbidden from encouraging/discouraging or actively taking part in their (or another contestants) picks assisted euthanasia.
4. Similarly, encouraging picks to commit suicide is prohibited (as well as being a fairly shitty thing to do)
5. Keeping alive another person’s pick against the picks will to benefit in this game is also against the rules (although again being grudgingly admired by the host).

 

5) The Qualifying Picks Rules

 

1. Picks are not accepted if it cannot be reasonably ascertained that they are actually alive.

 

2. Celebrities are disqualified if the host determines them to be famous for being ill.

This includes

·        Famous due to impending death (hit by a car, stabbed, in ICU with Covid despite 10 vaccinations etc - you get the idea)

·        Famous due to illness, with not even a minor fame to claim of their own making resulting from that illness (mother with 6 months to live, man with rare genetic disorder)

 

3.     Exceptions will be made for people with an illness who have become activists or otherwise achieved a reasonable level of fame for reasons related to, but not confined to, their illness. This will be solely at the discretion of the host, whose decisions will likely be arbitrary and mood dependant. Writing a single book about one’s illness will likely not qualify, because let’s face it, what self-respecting cancer-mum hasn’t written a book about her battle.

 

4. Relatives of the famous are not accepted, unless they have achieved a reasonable level of fame themselves. The threshold for this “fame” will be relatively low and may be directly related to the famous person (e.g. appearing regularly on their reality TV show), but anything not related to the celeb is generally welcomed and is more likely to have the pick accepted. The hosts decision will be final, and may appear unfair and inconsistent. That’s life (and death) folks!

 

5. People who are famous solely on account of criminal acts are banned, unless they meet one of the following criteria:

·        The nature of their crime(s) makes them a globally famous name (or at very least extremely famous nationally. The bar for this will be set quite high – we are looking at Myra Hindley, Peter Sutcliffe levels of fame. The host makes no apologies for any inconsistencies in this – the deciding factor is whether the host’s partner or kids have heard of them or not! If you are unsure whether they are famous or not to qualify, just leave them out. There are enough other genuinely famous people out there to pick.

·        They are head of a widely known criminal organisation (e.g. Mafia, major terrorist organisation, British Conservative Party)

 

6. If a pick is rejected, the first sub on the list will be promoted. If a team has more than 5 rejected picks, they will play with a shortened team. 

 

7. The most obscure accepted pick in the opinion of the host shall win the Who the Feck Are They? Award (Also known as the “CHEL AWARD”). I'd be grateful if people didn't deliberately go after the Who the Feck Are They? award, as it's meant to be light-hearted fun and will be discontinued if people appear to submit substantially more fringe picks.

 

8. Rejected picks will be published once the game begins, along with the players name). Players are welcome to (and indeed encouraged to) ridicule other players for their barrel-scraping antics.

[An Fear Beag 1,558]

RESERVED FOR SCOREBOARD

[An Fear Beag 1,558]

RESERVED FOR LIST OF TEAMS

[An Fear Beag 1,558]

RESERVED FOR LIST OF PICKS

[An Fear Beag 1,558]

As @Captain Hemlockis the first to send me a team, I have PM'd my own team to them for safekeeping.

[YorkshireBanker 171]

Anne Dickson

Antonia Fraser

Brenton Wood

Caroline Graham

Christiane Martel

Chubby Cox

Cindy Birdsong(Joker)
Dick Pound

Garry Peterson

Helga Line

Ingrid van Bergen
Jocelyn Wildenstein

Johnny MacLeod

Katie Got Bandz

Maria Emo(Austrian Actress,not a phase mom)

Miriam Margolyes
Nigel McCrery
Ozzy Osboure
Richard Wilson

Ricky Knight

Vincent Ball

Viola Odette Harlow
Wang Xingang

Waris Hussein
Wendy Playfair
 
substitutes
Janet Henfrey
Alan Peacock
Moe Tucker
Sky Ferreira
Prunella Scales

[ladyfiona 2,645]

My team will be here closer to the date.

[Toast 16,209]

I'll be playing again - thanks.

[ZeldaYT 2003 0]

My list:

Alan Alda

Andrew Robinson

Buzz Aldrin

Bruce Willis

Christopher Lloyd

Clint Eastwood

Derek Jacobi

Dick Cheney

Dick van Dyke

Donald Trump

Dustin Hoffman

Eva Marie Saint

Jane Goodall

Joe Biden

Judi Dench

Mel Brooks

Michael Caine

Michael J. Fox

Noam Chomsky

Ian McKellen

Robert Wagner

Vladimir Putin

William Shatner

Willie Nelson

Woody Allen

 

The subs are:

Harrison Ford

Michael Douglas

Hillary Clinton

Tommy Lee Jones

King Charles III

[livingbygrace 397]

count me in

[Torva Messor 281]

my turtles tricked me this year by having rocket engines under their shells but I will try again, thanks for reprising.

[An Fear Beag 1,558]

17 hours ago, livingbygrace said:

count me in

Got your team by PM. Absolutely perfectly formatted - you are now officially my favourite poster of the day!

[An Fear Beag 1,558]

21 hours ago, YorkshireBanker said:

 

Chubby Cox

Dick Pound

Wang Xingang

 

 You have a filthy mind YB - you need to wash it out.

 

All good with the team though - best of luck.

[An Fear Beag 1,558]

18 hours ago, ZeldaYT 2003 said:

My list:

Alan Alda

Andrew Robinson

Buzz Aldrin

Bruce Willis

Christopher Lloyd

Clint Eastwood

Derek Jacobi

Dick Cheney

Dick van Dyke

Donald Trump

Dustin Hoffman

Eva Marie Saint

Jane Goodall

Joe Biden

Judi Dench

Mel Brooks

Michael Caine

Michael J. Fox

Noam Chomsky

Ian McKellen

Robert Wagner

Vladimir Putin

William Shatner

Willie Nelson

Woody Allen

 

The subs are:

Harrison Ford

Michael Douglas

Hillary Clinton

Tommy Lee Jones

King Charles III

 

Thanks for the entry Zelda - always good to see a new face. Welcome to the pool, and indeed welcome to the site.

 

You haven't nominated a Joker, so Alan Alda becomes your Joker by default. Let me know if you would like to change it.

 

 

[Yvonne 364]

My list

 

AGNES KELETI

AKIHITO

ALBERT II OF BELGIUM

ANGIE DICKINSON

ANNE  VERNON

ANNETTE CROSBIE

BARBARA EDEN

BARBARA KNOX

BERNIE ECCLESTONE

BRENDA MILNER 

BRIAN BLESSED

BRIAN MURPHY 

BRIGITTE BARDOT

BUZZ ALDRIN

CAREN MARSH DOLL

CLAIRE BLOOM

CLEO LAINE

DAVID ATTENBOROUGH 

DESMOND MORRIS 

DICK VAN DYKE 

DICKIE BIRD

EDGAR MORIN

ETHEL CATERHAM

JIMMY CARTER

YVONNE CHOQUET BRUHAT 

 

 

SUBS

BILL WYMAN 

CLINT EASTWOOD 

IMELDA MARCOS 

MEL BROOKS 

JOAN PLOWRIGHT

ROSEMARY HARRIS 

[Bobytomi 128]

My team:

ALAN GREENSPAN
BUZZ ALDRIN
CHARLES DOLAN
EVA MARIE SAINT
GENE HACKMAN
GERALD HOLTON
GYORGY KURTAG
IMELDA MARCOS
JEAN-MARIE LE PEN
JIMMY CARTER
JOANNE WOODWARD
JOHN ASTIN
LISA LU
MAHATHIR MOHAMAD
MAURICE R. GREENBERG
NIGEL STARMER-SMITH
NOAM CHOMSKY
OSCAR WYATT
RAUL CASTRO
RUDOLPH A. MARCUS
STANLEY BAXTER
STEVE MCMICHAEL
TIPPI HEDREN (JOKER)
TOMIICHI MURAYAMA
VERNON L. SMITH

 

Subs: 
ROBERTA FLACK
VIOLETA CHAMORRO
LULA DA SILVA
SANDY GALL
JIRO ONO

 

Good luck to everyone!

[GuyFromFuture 69]

 Anita Lasker-Wallfisch
Barney Frank
Beatrice Picard(Joker)
Bob Pulford
Buzz Aldrin
Clémence DesRochers
Dick Duff
Eleonora Giorgi
Eugenia Cooney
Francoise Fabian
Joan Crawford(Basketball Hall Of Fame)
Jose Mujica
Mirtha Legrand
Naina Yeltsina
Randy Moss
Raul Castro
Ricky Berwick
Robert Ito
Shelley Fabares
Sister Jean(Basketball Nun)
Steny Hoyer
Ted Kotcheff
Tim  Curry
Valerie Andre
Yoshiro Nakamatsu

 

subs:

Abdullah The Butcher

Franca Pilla

Cleo Laine

Noam Chomsky

Brenda Milner