Guest Grave Robber Posted May 20, 2004 I saw the great Mr. Manning on a repeat of the 'Mrs Merton Show', a couple of days ago. He was in tremendous form, but he looked a little 'worse for wear'; that was back in 1998. So, six years on... this year maybe?? Mr. Reaper?... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
The Four Horsemen 26 Posted May 20, 2004 I fear a case of wishful thinking. Mind you, most of his jokes die quite regularly, I understand! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Grave Robber Posted May 20, 2004 No, not wishful thinking on my part. I just thought that since he's rather rotund and elderly, the odds must be stacked against him. His jokes don't go down well with the PC brigade, but as a black person, I think he's great. We tell jokes about whites, so why not vice versa? His delivery is even better than DHL's! A world without controversy is a very staid and boring one... Funny is funny, despite how 'wrong' it may be (to the culturati). Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
The Four Horsemen 26 Posted May 20, 2004 I don't object to the topics of his jokes, just I bracket him along with Jim Davidson in the "not funny" category - as you say, funny is funny but I've just never found him to be so. I find the PC brigade equally annoying - did anyone see that Galaxy have had to scrub a billboard advert because the text was "eeny meeny miny mo" which, according to the aforementioned PC brigade, was racially offensive? Nope, didn't agree with it either! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
papalazaroo 0 Posted May 22, 2004 There was a reality television programme on ITV (nothing new there) about 2 taxi's in Manchester, This one taxi driver who was a pakistani had to pick up Bernard, and lift him into the back of the cab. He was walking very slow, looks like he's going of his legs. Maybe by December he'll get pneumonia. The Fat B*****d didn't even tip, and he was nice to the driver the 2 faced C***. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Guest Posted May 23, 2004 Hahaha...haha! Even that's funny, good old Bernard... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Stayin Alive 26 Posted May 25, 2004 Hey Papalaz I saw that programme too. Very surprising stuff. Can't remember what it was now. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Guest Posted May 26, 2004 Stayin alive i think the programme was called "taxi nights" Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest reddiablo Posted May 26, 2004 course the city lovin ABU DID NOT TIP HES ONE OF CHEETHAM HILLS FINEST. abu cocksucers a anybody b but u united ALA DENIS LAW and KIDDO sick f***kers u lot looking for articles re prostrate on denis and kiddo and found you morloks no for long AL SWEARGEN knows you c**ts in deadwood arf arf pig feed the lot of you RIP rest in pigs adieu Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Our Sole 5 Posted May 26, 2004 Which in English is.....? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Teddy 21 Posted May 26, 2004 Which in English is.....? incoherent?? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Death Watch Beatle 41 Posted May 27, 2004 I have noticed a trend that the most unintelligible rantings seem to occur after pub chucking-out time, but the postings from ABU (or whoever) seem to be quite earlyin the evening. Given that they may be posted from another EU state the time difference can only be a couple of hours at best, so it must have been one hell of bender yesterday! DWB Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Our Sole 5 Posted May 27, 2004 DWB - Given that this poor deluded being is a Man U fan, surely he must be somewhere in China as all of the UK ones have morphed in Arsenal fans....... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
The Four Horsemen 26 Posted May 27, 2004 By far the most impressive example of a congenitally defective poster on this site. I think "abu" is Aussie slang for Aboriginee (although that might be "abo") so perhaps the time difference could be explained that way? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
honez 79 Posted May 27, 2004 I think "abu" is Aussie slang for Aboriginee (although that might be "abo") Definitely "abo" not "abu." Although I'm sure reddiablo does make a good point. I'm damned if I know what the hell it is though. Maybe I need to suce [sic] down some of the ale he's been suppin' and it'll be crystal. arf arf Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bury The Bastard 2 Posted December 22, 2004 I watched a celebrity Weakest Link tonight. Bernard Manning looked terrible. His big rascist ass had to be helped from the stage. Surely he can't get beyond his mid-seventies. The Weakest link for 2005? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Shuffler Posted December 24, 2004 No wonder he was on "Weakest Link". Anne Robinson must have been looking for pointers from him on which minority group to offend next, now that she's done the Welsh and the Scousers! P.S. Yes I know she is a Scouser herself... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Guest Posted December 24, 2004 Up there on Google with this one... in the forst page for a 'Bernard Manning' search. If he's vain enough to search I'm sure we can expect a chunk of elegant prose from him. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Bernard lover Posted February 10, 2005 Leave BM alone - he's an old man from another era - He makes me and my family laugh and he's not racist at all - it's all an act - Little Britain has shown that we can laugh at ourselves again and as long as things don't get nasty, it's the best medicine. Where my parents come from in India, laughter is perscribed by doctors !! 99% of racist jokes are purely just extreme observations which are based on our different culctures. Laugh first, die second ! God bless you Bernie ! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest One Man Jury Posted February 10, 2005 Leave BM alone - he's an old man from another era - He makes me and my family laugh and he's not racist at all - it's all an act - Little Britain has shown that we can laugh at ourselves again and as long as things don't get nasty, it's the best medicine. Where my parents come from in India, laughter is perscribed by doctors !! 99% of racist jokes are purely just extreme observations which are based on our different culctures. Laugh first, die second ! God bless you Bernie ! All right then, lets's see. Did you hear about the Indian Clockroom attendant? His name? M'Hat, M'Coat. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Guest_maryportfuncity Posted February 10, 2005 Bernard Manning People just don't get the satire and he plays up to the offence he causes because it is good for business. One gag I loved from a few years back. Just don't mention Auschwitz to me, I lost a relative there [PAUSE FOR SILENCE FROM THE AUDIENCE, MANY OF THEM THROWN BY THIS STRANGE TWIST IN THE ACT. DOES HE REALLY HAVE JEWISH BLOOD?] My uncle, he fell out of the machine gun tower. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Terminator 13 Posted February 11, 2005 Here's a few of his printable words of wisdom.... "you could tell she wasn't a scrubber" - on Madonna "If you want to drink, have a drink... if you want to drive, then drive... there's nothing worse than having a smash sober..." "I'm glad I'm not bisexual. I couldn't stand being rejected by men as well as women. " "I once bought my kids a set of batteries for Christmas with a note on it saying, toys not included. " "I remember Des O’Connor when he was white." Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Swiss Posted October 28, 2005 Fantastic ! Sorry I'm a little late picking up on this forum but its great to see that people dont jump on the pc bandwagon just because of race / colour etc. I have been a dedicated Bernard fan for many years, just seen him again actually in Wakefield only last week and his act is still the same after all these years, but why change something that doesnt need fixing. I am white and have both black and asian friends / colleagues that appreciate Bernard and also as the gentleman above mentioned, they have jokes about white people aswell, only they are mature enough to realise that he isn't an out and out racist, he tells jokes and we laugh, are we all racists for laughing? I think its a shame Bernard didn't ever do politics tbh and maybe we wouldn't be in the state we are in now, he certainly has my vote. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Deadornot 12 Posted October 28, 2005 Fantastic !Sorry I'm a little late picking up on this forum but its great to see that people dont jump on the pc bandwagon just because of race / colour etc. I have been a dedicated Bernard fan for many years, just seen him again actually in Wakefield only last week and his act is still the same after all these years, but why change something that doesnt need fixing. I am white and have both black and asian friends / colleagues that appreciate Bernard and also as the gentleman above mentioned, they have jokes about white people aswell, only they are mature enough to realise that he isn't an out and out racist, he tells jokes and we laugh, are we all racists for laughing? I think its a shame Bernard didn't ever do politics tbh and maybe we wouldn't be in the state we are in now, he certainly has my vote. Sorry if this comes as a shock to you but the post before you on that thread was made on the 11th of February Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bridge over the River Styx 0 Posted October 28, 2005 Fantastic !Sorry I'm a little late picking up on this forum but its great to see that people dont jump on the pc bandwagon just because of race / colour etc. I have been a dedicated Bernard fan for many years, just seen him again actually in Wakefield only last week and his act is still the same after all these years, but why change something that doesnt need fixing. I am white and have both black and asian friends / colleagues that appreciate Bernard and also as the gentleman above mentioned, they have jokes about white people aswell, only they are mature enough to realise that he isn't an out and out racist, he tells jokes and we laugh, are we all racists for laughing? I think its a shame Bernard didn't ever do politics tbh and maybe we wouldn't be in the state we are in now, he certainly has my vote. All very interesting but how ill was he looking? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
