dead Bernard Manning

[themaninblack 2,112]

Despair not blue comic fans, if its a saturnine, foul-mouthed, fat Mancunian yer after, here's a ready made replacement...

 

 

[maryportfuncity 10,038]

Stars out in force at his funeral.

[Brinsworth House Baiter 12]

Stars out in force at his funeral.

 

From said article:

 

"Frank Carson, 80, Roy Walker, 66, and Jim Bowen, 69, said farewell to Bernard — shunned by the showbiz establishment for his gags about race.

 

They were joined by comics Roy Chubby Brown, 62, and Cannon and Ball."

 

What a f*****g line up. The sort of stand-up comedy night I'd expect in Hell.

 

Though I expect such a billing might constitute a cracking night out up in Maryport.

 

Cheers,

 

BHB

[Monoclinic 39]

What a f*****g line up. The sort of stand-up comedy night I'd expect in Hell.

 

 

BHB

 

But where's Freddie Starr?

 

I remember my first and thankfully only package holiday to find the European sun at the age of 18. In flight entertainment was Freddie Starr. I think I must have been the only one who had never heard of him. My friends and I were the only ones not laughing, so I guess the rest of the flight was from Cumbria then?.

[Handrejka 1,842]

 

What a f*****g line up. The sort of stand-up comedy night I'd expect in Hell.

 

 

BHB

 

But where's Freddie Starr?

 

I remember my first and thankfully only package holiday to find the European sun at the age of 18. In flight entertainment was Freddie Starr. I think I must have been the only one who had never heard of him. My friends and I were the only ones not laughing, so I guess the rest of the flight was from Cumbria then?.

 

Had the very same experience myself on a flight home from Greece in the mid nineties. Knowing who Freddie Starr is(he was a childhood friend/rival of my mum's cousin) doesn't make him any funnier

[maryportfuncity 10,038]

so I guess the rest of the flight was from Cumbria then?.

 

Dunno, how many blow-up sheep did you spot being carried onto the plane?

[Anubis the Jackal 76]

Did anyone else try to watch his self-written obituary show on the teminally-declining Channel 4 last night. I fell asleep after about half an hour of his maudlin shite and 'tributes' from the like of Roy 'Chubby' Brown. What a crock of crap, I at least thought he would tell a few good gags.

[maryportfuncity 10,038]

Thought it better than maudlin shite and some of his better gags did appear;

 

A particular MPFC favourite being the one he told at that infamous secretly filmed gig in front of an audience of police, when he said that anyone subjected to the ...'anything you say may be taken down and used in evidence'.....line from the police should reply:

 

'Please don't hit me again officer.'

[Anubis the Jackal 76]

Thought it better than maudlin shite and some of his better gags did appear;

 

A particular MPFC favourite being the one he told at that infamous secretly filmed gig in front of an audience of police, when he said that anyone subjected to the ...'anything you say may be taken down and used in evidence'.....line from the police should reply:

 

'Please don't hit me again officer.'

 

 

 

I notice that you didn't include the 'side-splitting' follow-up punchline to that hilarious quip...

 

 

 

Something along the lines of "Unless you're a N-word, in which case you say 'again, and again and again'"

 

 

 

That was what got the cops into sh*t, and if that's one of his 'better gags' then I hate to think of his average ones.

[maryportfuncity 10,038]

Fair point ATJ but both those gags are a key to the best and worst of Manning. I'm not the guy's greatest fan but my problem with him - as I've stated around here before - is the way he did an Elvis and wasted a talent a mile wide on the most obvious material time and again. For all that the 'please don't beat me again' gags are a key to the fact that his critics often missed the point. Like most great comedians the man was a kind of an anarchist, he'd have a go at anything that got a laugh and the strength behind the 'don't hit me' gags is that they're a joke at the way authority often has no morals and those in trouble will try on anything to make their situation better. In Billy Connolly's act the first of those gags would have been seen as a stroke of genius.

 

One thing that did stink in the programme last night was Manning's bluster confronted by Arthur Smith, when he went into a rant about the places he'd played that Smith would never see. Manning had a point, he was bigger, richer and longer lasting than the comedians who slagged him off but - like many who've come from the poorest backgrounds and fought their way up - he tended to lose his reason when critics tried to back him up with an argument.

 

So can we agree on flawed genius? With f*****g big flaws?

[Anubis the Jackal 76]

Nope, not having it. At the risk of sounding like one of our more 'poetic' posters, Genius does not content itself with perfecting the art of reaching the lowest common denominator, Genius strives for liberation from stereotype.

 

Right, more beer.

 

So can we agree on flawed genius? With f*****g big flaws?

[maryportfuncity 10,038]

Nope, not having it. At the risk of sounding like one of our more 'poetic' posters, Genius does not content itself with perfecting the art of reaching the lowest common denominator, Genius strives for liberation from stereotype.

 

Right, more beer.

 

 

So can we agree on flawed genius? With f*****g big flaws?

 

Agreed, but to suggest Manning only ever reached the lowest common denomenator is to totally misrepresent the man. Nobody setting their sights that low achieves the success he did for so long. Like I said, Elvis is a good comparison, if The King did nothing better than the mid-sixties shite for the last 16 years of his life he wouldn't be the legend he is now. Even in the last shows there were a couple of songs he could get behind big time. Manning - sort of - was the same, timing, the odd gag he could pull out of the air in response to something etc etc. In other words, a natural talent his fellow comics envied, many of his best gags were things he thought up on stage. Not something lesser comics would risk.

[millwall32 110]

 

What a f*****g line up. The sort of stand-up comedy night I'd expect in Hell.

 

 

BHB

 

But where's Freddie Starr?

 

I remember my first and thankfully only package holiday to find the European sun at the age of 18. In flight entertainment was Freddie Starr. I think I must have been the only one who had never heard of him. My friends and I were the only ones not laughing, so I guess the rest of the flight was from Cumbria then?.

Freddie Starr is desperately unfunny. Bernartd Manning however was a great stabd-up comedian.

[millwall32 110]

Fair point ATJ but both those gags are a key to the best and worst of Manning. I'm not the guy's greatest fan but my problem with him - as I've stated around here before - is the way he did an Elvis and wasted a talent a mile wide on the most obvious material time and again. For all that the 'please don't beat me again' gags are a key to the fact that his critics often missed the point. Like most great comedians the man was a kind of an anarchist, he'd have a go at anything that got a laugh and the strength behind the 'don't hit me' gags is that they're a joke at the way authority often has no morals and those in trouble will try on anything to make their situation better. In Billy Connolly's act the first of those gags would have been seen as a stroke of genius.

 

One thing that did stink in the programme last night was Manning's bluster confronted by Arthur Smith, when he went into a rant about the places he'd played that Smith would never see. Manning had a point, he was bigger, richer and longer lasting than the comedians who slagged him off but - like many who've come from the poorest backgrounds and fought their way up - he tended to lose his reason when critics tried to back him up with an argument.

 

So can we agree on flawed genius? With f*****g big flaws?

i liked the look on Manning's face after the exchange

Manning-"Lets's be honest now. Who the f**k are you? I've played every theatre in this country..the Palladium..Las Vegas..New York, India. What are you, eh?"

Brown -"I've supported...."

Manning-"You've supported Arsenal. Where have you worked?"

Brown-"I've supported Frank Sinatra"

Manning-"What?"

Brown-"I've opened for Frank Sinatra."

Manning, visibly becalmed-"Well that's quite good."

[Madame Defarge 21]

 

What a f*****g line up. The sort of stand-up comedy night I'd expect in Hell.

 

 

BHB

 

But where's Freddie Starr?

 

I remember my first and thankfully only package holiday to find the European sun at the age of 18. In flight entertainment was Freddie Starr. I think I must have been the only one who had never heard of him. My friends and I were the only ones not laughing, so I guess the rest of the flight was from Cumbria then?.

Freddie Starr is desperately unfunny. Bernartd Manning however was a great stabd-up comedian.

Hello millwall32.

 

He couldn't have been all that , could he, if he was stabdt up? Most crowds will just throw tomatoes.

[Saint Peter 13]

Hello millwall32.

 

He couldn't have been all that , could he, if he was stabdt up? Most crowds will just throw tomatoes.

 

"stabdt" to many long islands 'Madame Defarge' from NYC?

[Madame Defarge 21]

Hello millwall32.

 

He couldn't have been all that , could he, if he was stabdt up? Most crowds will just throw tomatoes.

 

"stabdt" to many long islands 'Madame Defarge' from NYC?

To clarify: NYC is my adopted city but I'm from Pittsburgh, which has a lingo of its very own. Stabbed would probably be 'stapt'. Also, diphthongs at the beginning of words are ignored, as are some consonants. Rs, Esses,and Tees are given a special emphasis, loik 'iss, Zaint Pedurr.

[millwall32 110]

 

What a f*****g line up. The sort of stand-up comedy night I'd expect in Hell.

 

 

BHB

 

But where's Freddie Starr?

 

I remember my first and thankfully only package holiday to find the European sun at the age of 18. In flight entertainment was Freddie Starr. I think I must have been the only one who had never heard of him. My friends and I were the only ones not laughing, so I guess the rest of the flight was from Cumbria then?.

Freddie Starr is desperately unfunny. Bernartd Manning however was a great stabd-up comedian.

Hello millwall32.

 

He couldn't have been all that , could he, if he was stabdt up? Most crowds will just throw tomatoes.

I read and reread that post until I realised that I had made a mistake. I seem to have developed some sort of late onset dicklessia.

[Saint Peter 13]

Hello millwall32.

 

He couldn't have been all that , could he, if he was stabdt up? Most crowds will just throw tomatoes.

 

"stabdt" to many long islands 'Madame Defarge' from NYC?

To clarify: NYC is my adopted city but I'm from Pittsburgh, which has a lingo of its very own. Stabbed would probably be 'stapt'. Also, diphthongs at the beginning of words are ignored, as are some consonants. Rs, Esses,and Tees are given a special emphasis, loik 'iss, Zaint Pedurr.

 

It must be the beer if you are from Pittsburgh. I don't think people from there are sophisticated enough there to drink cocktails

 

cum'on the Stealers!!! Maybe not

[Madame Defarge 21]

Hello millwall32.

 

He couldn't have been all that , could he, if he was stabdt up? Most crowds will just throw tomatoes.

 

"stabdt" to many long islands 'Madame Defarge' from NYC?

To clarify: NYC is my adopted city but I'm from Pittsburgh, which has a lingo of its very own. Stabbed would probably be 'stapt'. Also, diphthongs at the beginning of words are ignored, as are some consonants. Rs, Esses,and Tees are given a special emphasis, loik 'iss, Zaint Pedurr.

 

It must be the beer if you are from Pittsburgh. I don't think people from there are sophisticated enough there to drink cocktails

 

cum'on the Stealers!!! Maybe not

Well done! You are the first member to put Pittsburgh and sophisticated in the same sentence. You have won a beer. No, wait, I'm out of paper cups.

[maryportfuncity 10,038]

One the great man might have appreciated:

 

Q - What's black and ten miles long?

 

A - The queue to piss on Bernard Manning's grave.

[Dr. Zorders 1,269]

http://www.manchestereveningnews.co.uk/business/business-news/time-could-called-bernard-mannings-8285332

 

Manning's famous Embassy Club in Manchester is being "put up for sale"......... i.e. most likely gonna be knocked down.

Managed by Bernard Jr. since Bigger Bernard retired in 1999.