Death Verse

[Lady Die 63]

I used to look for typos in the "poems" in the "Deaths" column of my local rag. One I remember is:

 

Ours is just a simple prayer

May God keep you in his car

 

Another one (not a typo, but funny anyway because it doesn't rhyme):

 

If roses grow in heaven, Lord

Pick a bunch for me

Place them in my mother's arms

And tell her they're from us

 

Anyone know any more?

[Banshees Scream 110]

This is something I saved for a while. I never added it to my official lyrics but it may deserve a chance?

 

"The Sad Man"

 

I can't look back to my past

But the light to my future I can't find

I've been standing still for a while

But i'm falling behind

Everybody has changed

They are all strangers to me

When did this all happen?

How can this be?

 

I have nowhere to go

I should just start a new life

My faimly refuses to speak with me

I've just been divorced from my wife

I haven't made any money

In the morning I can't even get out of bed

What's the point in living?

Sometimes I wish I were dead

 

Now I can only dream

That I have it made

These dreams still bring me to tears

Through the years they never fade

And each night I say my prayers

That i'll make it through all the pain

But now I can just stair out my window

Stair out my window and watch the rain

[Tuber Mirum 125]

Here's the epitaph for PDQ Bach (1807-1742):

 

Here lies a man with sundry flaws

And numerous Sins upon his head;

We buried him today because

As far as we can tell, he's dead.

 

[Gunjaman5000 30]

Here's the epitaph for PDQ Bach (1807-1742):

 

Here lies a man with sundry flaws

And numerous Sins upon his head;

We buried him today because

As far as we can tell, he's dead.

 

Negative 65 years old eh? What killed him?

 

In a great episode of "Curb Your Enthusiasm" I saw recently, 'Much loved Aunt' became 'Much loved C**t' due to a printing error. That's got to happen for real sooner or later.

[Windsor 2,233]

There was that very funny scene from 'Curb Your Enthusiasm' (sitcom) where the newspaper put in "beloved C**t" instead of "beloved Aunt". It was, ofcourse, a typo.

[Paul Bearer 6,099]

The echo's in here now

[Windsor 2,233]

How odd, both Gunjaman and me saying the same thing at the same time.

 

I should imagine he will commit suicide now...

[Gunjaman5000 30]

No Marjorie I'll join the Royal Forums and make a toadying obsequious twunt of myself there.

[Windsor 2,233]

No Marjorie I'll join the Royal Forums and make a toadying obsequious twunt of myself there.

 

Just you do that...

[Handrejka 1,903]

Don't forget this classic.

 

http://www.messedup.net/hosted/fuckyou.jpg

[The Four Horsemen 26]

I've got a book called "Tombstone Humour" by Richard De'Ath (apparently his real name) and that has a chapter devoted to comedy epitaphs etc. Worth a read if you can get hold of a copy - I got mine about 15 years ago so it might be out of print by now.

[Tuber Mirum 125]

I've got a book called "Tombstone Humour" by Richard De'Ath (apparently his real name) and that has a chapter devoted to comedy epitaphs etc. Worth a read if you can get hold of a copy - I got mine about 15 years ago so it might be out of print by now.

I used to have a similar book entitled "Grave Humour" by Fritz Spiegl.

 

Here's the only one I remember, which is from a headstone in Aberdeen allegedly:

 

Here lie the bones of Elizabeth Charlotte

Born a virgin, died a harlot

She was aye a virgin at seventeen

A remarkable thing in Aberdeen.

[Sir Creep 7,070]

On 26/04/2006 at 17:47, The Four Horsemen said:

I've got a book called "Tombstone Humour" by Richard De'Ath (apparently his real name) and that has a chapter devoted to comedy epitaphs etc. Worth a read if you can get hold of a copy - I got mine about 15 years ago so it might be out of print by now.

Here’s a guy who’s family put a poem of sorts on his headstone but may run into trouble - seeing as the first letter of each line spells ‘Fuck Off’.

 

https://www.huffpost.com/entry/headstone-profanity-upsets-community-polk-county-iowa_n_62ab7038e4b04a617359daa2