Hooroo, Mate.

[Guest Grave Mistake]

These are definitely my last ones - time to let someone else contribute to this thread again.

 

 

 

Barry Jones - born 1932 - quiz champion and political figure.

 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Barry_Jones_(...ian_politician)

 

 

Phillip Adams - born 1939 - commentator and wannabe atheist

 

 

 

Tim Bowden - born 1937 - national radio and television reporter and researcher:

 

http://www.abc.net.au/talkingheads/txt/s1698496.htm

 

 

*********************************

These two are specific to radio in Tasmania and are VERY well-known down there:

 

 

 

Ric Patterson - born late 1940s? - grossly overweight radio announcer:

 

http://www.abc.net.au/tasmania/stories/s1242382.htm

 

 

 

Richard Moore - another fat, unfunny, banal breakfast radio "comedian" from HO-FM in Hobart:

 

http://www.7hofm.com.au/on-air/richard-moore.html

 

Given VERY unhealthy lifestyle, I doubt he will last long either... Apparently, one of his children died a few years ago, which always takes a few years off the life of a parent and another child had a messy divorce only about a year after marrying someone. Richard Moore's wife, Sylvia Moore, is not a particularly pleasant woman either, by all accounts.

 

*********************************

 

Peter Sculthorpe - born 1929 - famous Australian classical composer.

 

Graeme Bell - born 1914 - renowned jazz musician.

 

Don Burrows - born 1928 - renowned jazz musician.

 

Wendy Whiteley - born 1941 - wife of painter Brett Whiteley. Has lost her husband and daughter. Lived very bohemian lifestyle.

 

 

That's all from me, since I have hogged the last dozen posts on this thread! Time to hand over to someone else. The biggest problem will be guessing how many of these suggestions would qualify for UK obits. I doubt if any of the AFL footballers or radio types would but I don't know if some of these people like the jazz musicians, Bell and Burrows, could just scrape in. Obviously, major political and cultural figures should get a tick.

 

 

Anyway, that is all for me, my morbid friends.

 

PS - My prediction is Farrah to go within a fortnight and Swayze won't see Christmas.

[Gunjaman5000 30]

Fcuking hell mate, are you just going through the phone book?

[Monoclinic 39]

Fcuking hell mate, are you just going through the phone book?

 

 

If you were to register you could edit your posts and put the telephone directory into one post Grave.

[Guest Grave Mistake]

Fcuking hell mate, are you just going through the phone book?

 

 

 

No, just jotting them down as they came to mind, then looking them up to see if they were born before 1940 or thereabouts or had any serious health/lifestyle issues.

 

 

Don't forget, you have multiple threads to spread out and discuss all your English and American possibilities, so I thought to list all of the good potential Aussie candidates within two pages of one thread is a modest achievement!

 

 

Anyway, I definitely can't think of any more obvious potential candidates now! Be interesting to see which one dies first. My money would be on Gough Whitlam or Derryn Hinch - Dame Elizabeth Murdoch seems far too bright for a centenarian to be dropping any time soon.

 

 

Maybe someone could consolidate all of these into a single list and start crossing them out as they drop? I should probably have done that to start with, instead of making a mess with post after post as new ones sprang to mind.

 

 

Anyway, that is hopefully a good start for you with some ideas and possibilities. One or two of the more internationally famous ones could go on the main deathlist for 2010 if you see the potential of them.

 

 

By the way, I was way too conservative in my last post, when I said "Swayze will be gone by Christmas." I'll be slightly more bold and say that he will be gone by the first week in August. As for Farrah: Only days?

 

 

Cheers. I'll resume my life as a silent lurker now.

[Guest Grave Mistake]

Fcuking hell mate, are you just going through the phone book?

 

 

If you were to register you could edit your posts and put the telephone directory into one post Grave.

 

 

Thanks for invitation to register but I think I will go back to being a lurker. I've been reading the posts here for years without contributing - the morbid sense of humour you share really appeals to me! Even Banshees has a certain.... charm... even if I have to stand on my head whilst reading his/her posts.

 

 

Anyway, it is fun to contribute some potential Aussies for you, as I have been thinking about the likes of Gough and other local celebrities for a while, wondering which would be the first to drop. It is all on the record now!

 

I'll leave someone else with the dirty work of sorting the Aussies out into one organised list! Cross 'em off as they drop.

 

 

Cheers.

[Guest Grave Mistake]

Okay, I wasn't going to do this but... I gave in... Just this once, you understand... For your sakes'.

 

 

Here is the "phone book" of Aussie celebs, all neatly sorted by year for you. Known and suspected health problems of various candidates cited where applicable.

 

PART ONE - THE OLD

Dame Elizabeth Murdoch 1909. Rupert's Mum.

Graeme Bell 1914. Jazz musician.

Ron Hamence 1915. Cricketer.

Gough Whitlam 1916. Sacked PM.

Flo Bjelke-Petersen 1920. Corrupt old Sir Joh's wife. Makes pumpkin scones.

Neil Harvey 1922. Cricketer.

Arthur Morris 1922. Cricketer.

Dudley Simpson 1922. BBC Composer.

Edward Clancy 1923. Roman Catholic Cardinal.

Edward Cassidy 1924. Roman Catholic Cardinal. (Health issues.)

Margaret Fulton 1924. Celebrity chef.

Vivean Gray 1924. Actress (Mrs Mangel from Neighbours!)

Stuart Wagstaff 1925. Theatre actor.

Sir Jack Brabham 1926. Formula 1 Champion and racing car designer.

Dame Joan Sutherland 1926. Opera singer.

Bruce Ruxton 1926. Hypocrite and right-wing ranting idiot.

Bart Cummings 1927. Horse trainer.

Peter Cundall 1927. Gardening show host and Commie.

Don Burrows 1928. Jazz musician.

Lyall Bevan 1929? Opera singer. (Prostate cancer.)

Bob Hawke. 1929. Drunken PM. (Alcoholism.)

Hazel Hawke. 1929. Bob's wife. (Alzheimer's.)

Bob Jane 1929. Racing car driver, tyre salesman, closet gay and lunatic.

Peter Sculthorpe 1929. Composer.

Richie Benaud 1930. Australia's Clive Dunn.

Rolf Harris 1930. Renaissance man.

John Landy 1930. Legendary athlete.

Gustav Nossal 1931. Biologist.

Ted Egan 1932. Folk singer/travel show host/Govt official.

Barry Jones 1932. Quiz champion and political figure.

Ugly Dave Gray 1933. Comedian.

Bill Hayden. 1933. Former Governor-General.

Don Lane 1933. US-born entertainer. (Alzheimer's.)

Barry Humphries 1934. Dame Edna.

Fred Nile 1934. Hypocrite and right-wing ranting idiot. Wants to ban topless sunbathing...

Barry Crocker 1935. Crooner.

Thomas Kenneally 1935. Author and annoying little garden gnome.

John Laws 1935. Radio loudmouth.

Lillian Frank 1936? Socialite, hairdresser and fundraiser.

John-Michael Howson 1936. Hollywood gossip columnist, writes musicals.

Col Joye 1936. Rock star. (Brain damage from fall.)

Tim Bowden 1937. Broadcaster.

Ron Clarke 1937. Athlete. (Health problems.)

Dawn Fraser 1937. Olympic swimmer and sometimes lesbian.

Colleen McCullough 1937. Author. (Ongoing health issues.)

Tony Barber 1938. Game show host.

Alan Bond 1938. Convicted criminal.

Marcus Einfeld 1938. Supreme Court Judge and convicted criminal.

Geoff Harvey 1938? Television band conductor.

Les Murray 1938. Nationalistic poet and ranter.

Bert Newton 1938. Entertainer. (Liked a drink in younger days.)

Mike Walsh 1938. Television talk show host.

Rod Laver 1938. Tennis player.

Ian Smith 1938. Actor (Harold Bishop from Neighbours.)

Phillip Adams 1939. Opinionated commentator and third-rate atheist.

Germaine Greer 1939. Militant feminist.

Paul Hogan 1939. Crocodile Dundee.

John Howard 1939. Disgraced PM and racist warmonger.

Clive James 1939. Conservative cultural commentator.

Jeannie Little 1939? Comedian/fashion designer/Marlene Dietrich impersonator.

Allan Moffatt 1939. Racing car driver.

 

PART TWO - LONG SHOTS

Ian McNamara 1940? Radio broadcaster. (Ageing badly.)

Alan Jones 1941. Radio loudmouth/rugby coach. (Health problems.)

Ian Turpie 1941. Entertainer, game show host.

Wendy Whiteley 1941. Brett's Missus. (Bohemian lifestyle.)

Harry Cooper 1942. Television vet. (Prostate cancer.)

Margaret Court 1942. Tennis champion and religious fundamentalist.

John Burgess 1943. Game show host.

Derryn Hinch 1944. Radio loudmouth. (Liver cancer.)

Dick Smith 1944. Entrepreneur and aviation guru.

Sam Newman 1945. AFL footballer, prize idiot. (Health issues.)

Peter Russell-Clarke 1946? Celebrity chef (Weight.)

Ian "Molly" Meldrum 1946. Music reviewer and television personality. (Drugs.)

Ric Patterson 1948? Radio announcer (Obesity.)

Ray Misson 1949? Academic idiot who caused Australia's literacy problems.

Rob Bredl 1950. Crocodile hunter.

Peter Renshaw 1950? Corrupt educational academic from UQ. (Very dithery now.)

Raelene Boyle 1951. Athlete. (Breast cancer.)

Renee Geyer 1951. Soul singer. (Past copious drug use.)

John Jarratt 1952. Actor. (Alcoholism.)

Richard Moore 1953? Inept Tasmanian radio comedian (Lifestyle, obesity.)

Paul Lennon 1955. Politician, Tasmanian Premier. (Alcoholism.)

Jimmy Barnes 1956. Rock singer. (Past substance abuse.)

Mel Gibson 1956. Drunkard. Anti-semite. Actor. (Alcoholism.)

Adriana Xenides 1956. Game show hostess. (Mental health issues.)

Wayne Johnston 1957. AFL footballer. (Alleged drug use.)

Gary Sweet 1957. Talentless "actor." (Alleged drug use.)

Wally Lewis 1959. Rugby player. (Severe epilepsy.)

Paul "Fatty" Vautin 1959. Rugby player. (Brain damage from television stunt.)

David Boon 1960. Cricketer. (Lifestyle, obesity.)

Gary Ablett 1961. AFL Footballer. (Drug use and other problems.)

Merv Hughes 1961. Fat cricketer.

Mark Latham 1961. Politician. (Chronic pancreatis.)

Tottie Goldsmith 1962. Sex Show host. (Alleged drug use.)

Elle MacPherson 1964. Supermodel. (Alleged drug use.)

Chris Chugg 1965? Bodybuilder and weightlifting coach (Steroids.)

Andrew McDonald 1967? Tasmanian hockey coach. (Psychiatric problems.)

Keith Urban 1967. Mr Nicole Kidman. (Alcoholism.)

Jason Donovan 1968. Talentless actor. (Drug use.)

Kylie Minogue 1968. Singing budgie. (Cancer may return.)

Naomi Robson 1968. Trashy current affairs show hostess. (Alleged drug use.)

Paula Wriedt 1968. Politician. (Mental health issues.)

Shane Warne 1969. Cricketer, adulterer, gambler, drug cheat. (Life in the fast lane.)

Tania Zaetta 1970. Skanky model and Bollywood wannabe. (Alleged drug use.)

Wayne Carey 1971. AFL Footballer and thug. (Huge problems.)

Kate Kendall 1973. Actress. (Alleged drug use.)

Craig Lowndes 1974. Racing car driver.

Susie Maroney 1974. Marathon swimmer. (Mental health issues.)

Natalie Imburglia 1975. Talentless "pop sensation." (Alleged drug use.)

Andrew Symonds 1975. Cricketer. (Alcoholism.)

Marcus Ambrose 1976. Racing car driver.

Ben Cousins 1978. AFL footballer. (Drug addict.)

Rose Byrne 1979. Actress, Heath Ledger's pal. (Hollywood lifestyle is a snare...)

Robbie Maddison 1981. Stuntman.

Delta Goodrem 1984. Talentless "pop sensation." (Cancer may return.)

Casey Stoner 1985. World Motorcycle Champion.

Bindi Irwin 1998. Precocious brat.

 

 

 

Back to lurking...

[honez 79]

Alan Jones 1941. Radio loudmouth/rugby coach. (Health problems.)

Unfortunately, it doesn't look like Gloria's going anywhere anytime soon.

[Guest Grave Mistake]

Alan Jones 1941. Radio loudmouth/rugby coach. (Health problems.)

Unfortunately, it doesn't look like Gloria's going anywhere anytime soon.

 

 

Yes, it seems like he will still be around for a while.

 

Derryn Hinch is still the number one in "radio death sweepstakes" now that Stan Zemanek is gone.

 

 

Here is the first, official Aussie "celebrity" to die since I compiled the list:

 

http://www.abc.net.au/news/stories/2009/04/06/2535943.htm

 

Unfortunately, I have never heard of him (don't follow rugby at all.)

 

 

Here are some more(!) contenders...

 

 

THOSE WHO HAVE HAD THEIR ALLOTTED THREE SCORES YEARS AND TEN:

 

Margaret Holmes 1910. Anti-war activist. Australian national hero. (Approaching the century.)

Ken Rosewall 1934. Tennis champion.

Ron Barassi 1936. AFL footballer.

Peter Carnley 1937. Ex-Head Bishop of Anglican Church in Australia. Liberal Church reformer.

Lorraine Crapp 1938. Swimmer.

Murray Rose 1939. Swimmer.

 

***************************

 

YOUNG(ER) GUNS:

Bill Hunter 1940. Actor and cantankerous old git.

Jack Thompson 1940. Actor and cantankerous old git.

Ivan Milat 1944. Serial killer (has recently taken to self-mutilation, such as cutting off his finger with a plastic knife.)

Kim Beazley 1948. Ex-politician. (Obesity.)

Lionel Rose 1948. Boxer, country singer and token Aborigine for this list. (Alcoholism/stroke.)

Dean Capobianco 1970. Sprinter. (Steroid abuse.)

Mary Donaldson 1972. Crown Princess of Denmark. (Grace! Diana! Mary?)

Mark Webber 1976. Formula 1 driver.

Matt Shirvington 1978. Sprinter. (Alleged steroid abuse.)

Nick D'Arcy 1987. Drunken brawler and sometimes champion swimmer. (One barroom fight too many?)

 

 

Of that lot, my money is on Milat killing himself. After the death of convicted stockbroker Rene Rivkin last year, I will never trust gaols to maintain a vigilant "suicide watch" again.

 

 

Back to lurking on the forum, yet again!!!!

[themaninblack 2,112]

Why don't you join for flip's sake!

 

What are you scared of?

[Guest Grave Mistake]

Why don't you join for flip's sake!

 

What are you scared of?

Scared of not having enough witty retorts to the merciless comments by all of you!

[Lard Bazaar 3,800]

Why don't you join for flip's sake!

 

What are you scared of?

Scared of not having enough witty retorts to the merciless comments by all of you!

It never stopped Banshees.

[Monoclinic 39]

Aussie Phone book snipped

 

You could at least have alphabetised it!

 

Oh and normally the anal amongst the DL would prefer that every Bruce and Shiela be cross referenced to a source. That should keep you going.

[Guest Grave Mistake]

Aussie Phone book snipped

 

You could at least have alphabetised it!

 

Oh and normally the anal amongst the DL would prefer that every Bruce and Shiela be cross referenced to a source. That should keep you going.

 

 

Sorted by year of birth, then alphabetically by surname!

 

 

99% of 'em have Wiki pages - of the usual dubious quality. I have to leave some work for the rest of you! Hardest one to find (of those that actually exist) was Vivean Gray (Mrs Mangel). I was typing "Vivian Gray" and kept finding many references to some hot young Mexican chick, instead, with only a few websites talking about the old girl. I thought people had simply forgotten her. Finally detected that her name had hte alternative spelling...

 

 

Question for an expert: How long does someone with liver cancer normally last? Derryn Hinch publicly announced his ailment in August 2007. He stated that it was inoperable, as it was near his heart. Why isn't he dead yet? I didn't think you'd last for over 18 months with that condition.

 

 

 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Derryn_Hinch

 

Cheers!

 

*****************

Isadora Duncan, a scarf and a Bugatti: Ingredients for the best death ever!

[Guest Grave Mistake]

To answer my own question about Hinch, I actually got off my backside and actually followed one of the links from the rubbish Wiki page. Here is some better info:

 

http://www.news.com.au/story/0,23599,22186335-2,00.html

 

 

 

"My condition at the moment is manageable long term as far as I know."

 

"There's a growth on my liver. It's a cancerous growth. It's the size of a 5c piece," the new teetotaller said.

 

"I don't know if it's benign or malignant. It's just sitting there, and as long as it sits there I'm all right.

 

 

HOWEVER:

 

For the rest of his life, Hinch faces a timetable of hospital visits and CAT scans every five or six weeks

 

AND:

 

"I think my immune system is s..t at the moment. Anything that's going around I can get it.

 

"I asked what I can do if my immune system is down and they said eat well, exercise, nothing much you can do."

 

***************

 

So presumably

 

1. His growth is benign and just sitting there at the moment;

2. His immune system is a little better

 

Otherwise, would you say that he would be dead by now???

[Geronimo 3]

How many in that excellent list of Ozzies are aborigines?

[Paul Bearer 6,102]

Why don't you join for flip's sake!

 

What are you scared of?

 

Are you Iain? And did you move to Austrailia?

[Guest Grave Mistake]

Why don't you join for flip's sake!

 

What are you scared of?

 

Are you Iain? And did you move to Austrailia?

 

 

To answer your questions:

 

1. No. I have been called many things in my life, but "Ian" isn't one of them!

2. I have always lived in Australia.

 

 

A few more leads:

 

 

Brian Harradine 1935. Politician; once held balance of power in the Senate. Suffered a series of minor strokes a few years ago.

 

Bill Collins 1934. "Mr Movies", film buff. Getting a bit old and doddery.

 

Judith Durham 1943, (born Judith Cock) member of sickly-sweet 1960s folk band, The Seekers (who outsold the Beatles at one stage). Suffered a very bad car accident some years ago, then her husband died of motor neurone disease and then she picked up a stalker who has an obsession with sending her doormats through the mail, for unknown reasons.

 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Judith_Durham

 

It was her former personal assistant who was stalking her, so perhaps butter-wouldn't-melt-in-her-mouth Judith was treating her like a doormat!

 

Here is Judith's equally sickly-sweet official page:

 

http://www.judithdurham.com/

 

I think I am going to be sick after reading that!

[Guest Grave Mistake]

How many in that excellent list of Ozzies are aborigines?

 

 

 

Read the above:

 

 

"Lionel Rose 1948. Boxer, country singer and token Aborigine for this list. (Alcoholism/stroke.)"

 

 

I got there before you!

[Applecool Downunder 10]

From above: "Bud Tingwell (92) - Brilliant Australian Actor, but getting on a bit though."

 

He's only 86. Spring chicken.

[Applecool Downunder 10]

Other Australians you could add to the list of potentials:

 

Alf Howard, sole remaining member of Mawson's Antarctic trip in 1920s. He's over 100.

Sir Marcus Loane, former Archbishop of Sydney, aged about 96

Greg Page, Wiggle with health issues

Doug Anthony, former Deputy PM

Lady Sonia McMahon, had a recent tumble

Brian Burke, former WA Premier (or am I just hopeful putting him on this list)

Kel Nagle, golfer in late 80s

Sara Douglass, author

[Vinegar Tits 606]

How's Rowena Wallace these days? Every couple of years she seems to have a bout of bad health.

 

Another for you is Patsy King (Erica Davidson in Prisoner Cell Block H) - apparently born in 1929 so getting on a bit. Despite my sister having her on her DDP team I'm not sure she'll get a UK obit to be honest. We'll see in time I suppose.

 

And speaking of former Prisoner actresses, is Mary Ward still alive? She played Mum in PCBH and Dee Morrell in Sons And Daughters. She trained as an actress before WW2 so must be pushing 90 now.

 

Divinyls singer Christina Amphlett is worth watching out for too; has battled alcoholism and is suffering from MS.

[Handrejka 1,904]

How's Rowena Wallace these days? Every couple of years she seems to have a bout of bad health.

 

Another for you is Patsy King (Erica Davidson in Prisoner Cell Block H) - apparently born in 1929 so getting on a bit. Despite my sister having her on her DDP team I'm not sure she'll get a UK obit to be honest. We'll see in time I suppose.

 

And speaking of former Prisoner actresses, is Mary Ward still alive? She played Mum in PCBH and Dee Morrell in Sons And Daughters. She trained as an actress before WW2 so must be pushing 90 now.

 

Divinyls singer Christina Amphlett is worth watching out for too; has battled alcoholism and is suffering from MS.

 

Coincidentally I was thinking about Mary Ward myself the other day. There doesn't seem to be a date of death for her, but she doesn't seem to have worked for eight years either, so it could go either way.

[honez 79]

How many in that excellent list of Ozzies are aborigines?

 

 

 

Read the above:

 

 

"Lionel Rose 1948. Boxer, country singer and token Aborigine for this list. (Alcoholism/stroke.)"

 

 

I got there before you!

Okay then, add...

 

Anthony Mundine, 1975. Boxer, ex-rugby league player and all-round asshat. (No known health issues except a glass jaw, which unfortunately, isn't likely to be terminal.)

[Guest Grave Mistake]

Thanks for all of those suggestions, people!

 

 

Yes, I was thinking of Mundine but added Lionel Rose instead. Mundine is definitely an "asshat."

 

 

Didn't know Amphlett had MS... Result of "touching herself" too often? I thought that only caused blindness and hairy palms...

 

 

I also had no idea that any of Mawson expedition team were still alive. That is quite amazing. Obviously, the good clean air and a bit of bracing cold down in the Antarctic is good for longevity!

 

 

Walking through shops just now saw surfer Mark Occhilupo on the cover of some magazine. Apparently he is recovering from serious drug addiction.

 

 

Philip Newell, former Anglican Bishop of Hobart, is another who is starting to get on a bit. His son, also an Anglican priest and prominent university professopr, recently committed suicide (he had suffered from chronic disablities all of his life and was wheelchair-bound.)

 

 

Sarah Douglass was only born in 1957, according to her wiki page... Any reason why she may drop?

 

 

Cheers.

[Guest Grave Mistake]

I have updated the list and put in nearly all the suggestions that everyone gave. (Couldn't find any info at all on Lenox's birthday.) I am going to leave the list like this since it is already massive! Of course, you are all free to go on making suggestions but this time I really am going back to being a lurker!

 

Here we go (drum roll, please...)

 

PRESENTING...

 

THE ONE AND ONLY DEFINITIVE EDITION OF...

 

 

THE GREAT AUSTRALIAN DEATHLIST!

 

 

PART A: THOSE WHO HAVE CONSUMED THEIR ALLOTTED THREE SCORE YEARS AND TEN:

John Campbell Ross 1899. Oldest living Australian male.

Alf Howard 1906. Antarctic hero. Member of Mawson Expedition.

Harold Holt 1908. MIA PM. (Presumed drowned, unless you believe in Chinese min-subs, Elvis sightings and the tooth fairy.)

Dame Elizabeth Murdoch 1909. Satan's Mum.

Margaret Holmes 1910. Anti-war activist. Australian hero. Absolute legend. (Approaching the century.)

Marcus Loane 1911. Ex-Anglican Archbishop of Sydney.

Nancy Wake 1912. Spy.

Graeme Bell 1914. Jazz musician.

Ron Hamence 1915. Cricketer.

Mary Ward 1916. Actress.

Gough Whitlam 1916. Sacked PM.

Flo Bjelke-Petersen 1920. Sir Joh's wife. Makes pumpkin scones.

Kel Nagle. 1920. Golfer.

Neil Harvey 1922. Cricketer.

Arthur Morris 1922. Cricketer.

Dudley Simpson 1922. BBC Composer.

Edward Clancy 1923. Roman Catholic Cardinal.

Lou Richards 1923. AFL footballer and media personality. A real old "character" and larrikin.

Bug Tingwell 1923. Actor.

Edward Cassidy 1924. Roman Catholic Cardinal. (Health issues.)

Margaret Fulton 1924. Celebrity chef.

Vivean Gray 1924. Actress (Mrs Mangel!)

Stuart Wagstaff 1925. Actor.

Sir Jack Brabham 1926. Formula 1 Champion and racing car designer.

Dame Joan Sutherland 1926. Opera singer.

Bruce Ruxton 1926. Hypocrite and right-wing ranting idiot.

Bart Cummings 1927. Horse trainer.

Peter Cundall 1927. Gardening show host and Commie.

Don Burrows 1928. Jazz musician.

Doug Anthony 1929. Former Deputy Prime Minister.

Lyall Bevan 1929? Opera singer. (Prostate cancer.)

Bob Hawke. 1929. Drunken PM. (Alcoholism.)

Hazel Hawke. 1929. Bob's wife. (Alzheimer's.)

Bob Jane 1929. Racing car driver, tyre salesman, closet gay and lunatic.

Patsy King 1929. Actress.

Peter Sculthorpe 1929. Composer.

Peter Thomson 1929. Golfer.

Richie Benaud 1930. Australia's Clive Dunn.

Geoffrey Blainey 1930. Conservative historian and figure of controversy.

Rolf Harris 1930. Renaissance man.

John Landy 1930. Legendary athlete.

Philip Newell 1930. Ex-Anglican Bishop of Tasmania.

Terry Norris 1930. Actor and ex-politician.

Gustav Nossal 1931. Biologist.

Ted Egan 1932. Folk singer/travel show host/Govt official.

Barry Jones 1932. Quiz champion and political figure.

Sonia McMahon 1932. Wife of former Prime Minister. Temptress of Richard Nixon. (Recent bad fall.)

Ugly Dave Gray 1933. Comedian.

Bill Hayden. 1933. Former Governor-General.

Allan Jeans 1933. Former AFL player and coach.

Don Lane 1933. US-born entertainer. (Alzheimer's.)

Bill Collins 1934. "Mr Movies" - film buff.

Barry Humphries 1934. Dame Edna.

Fred Nile 1934. Hypocrite and right-wing ranting idiot.

Ken Rosewall 1934. Tennis champion.

Barry Crocker 1935. Crooner.

Brian Harradine 1935. Politician; once held balance of power in the Senate. (Series of minor strokes.)

Peter Hollingworth 1935. Archbishop and former Governor-General.

Thomas Kenneally 1935. Author and annoying little garden gnome.

John Laws 1935. Radio loudmouth.

Richard Pratt 1935. AFL football club president. (Prostate cancer.)

Ron Barassi 1936. AFL footballer.

Julia Blake 1936. Theatre actress.

Lillian Frank 1936? Socialite, hairdresser and fundraiser.

John-Michael Howson 1936. Gossip columnist, writes musicals, wears white shoes and fulfils just about every gay stereotype.

Col Joye 1936. Rock star. (Brain damage from fall.)

Tim Bowden 1937. Broadcaster.

Peter Carnley 1937. Ex-Head Bishop of Anglican Church in Australia. Liberal Church reformer. Top bloke.

Ron Clarke 1937. Athlete. (Health problems.)

Dawn Fraser 1937. Olympic swimmer, sometimes lesbian and right old cow.

Jimmy Little 1937. Aboriginal country singer.

Colleen McCullough 1937. Author. (Ongoing health issues.)

Tony Barber 1938. Game show host and annoying little gnat.

Lorraine Crapp 1938. Swimmer. Is she going down the toilet?

Betty Cuthbert 1938. Athlete. (Multiple sclerosis.)

Marcus Einfeld 1938. Supreme Court Judge and convicted criminal.

Geoff Harvey 1938? Television band conductor.

Les Murray 1938. Nationalistic poet and ranter.

Bert Newton 1938. Entertainer. (Liked a drink in younger days.)

Mike Walsh 1938. Television talk show host.

Rod Laver 1938. Tennis player.

Ian Smith 1938. Actor (Harold Bishop.)

Phillip Adams 1939. Opinionated commentator and wannabe atheist.

Germaine Greer 1939. Militant feminist.

Paul Hogan 1939. Crocodile Dundee.

John Howard 1939. Disgraced PM and racist warmonger.

Clive James 1939. Conservative cultural commentator.

Jeannie Little 1939? Comedian/fashionista/Marlene Dietrich impersonator. Daaaarling!

Allan Moffatt 1939. Racing car driver.

Murray Rose 1939. Swimmer.

 

*********************************************************

 

PART B: LONG SHOTS:

Bill Hunter 1940. Actor and cantankerous old git.

Ian McNamara 1940? Radio broadcaster. (Ageing badly.)

Jack Thompson 1940. Actor and cantankerous old git.

Darrell Eastlake 1941? Sports commentator. (Obesity and previous heart attack.)

Alan Jones 1941. Radio loudmouth/rugby coach/closet gay. (Health problems.)

Ian Turpie 1941. Entertainer, game show host.

Wendy Whiteley 1941. Brett's Missus. (Bohemian lifestyle.)

Harry Cooper 1942. Television vet. (Prostate cancer.)

Margaret Court 1942. Tennis champion and religious fundamentalist.

John Burgess 1943. Game show host.

Judith Durham 1943. Sickly sweet folkie. (Bad car accident; hassled by stalker who sent her lots of doormats.)

Peter Harvey 1943? Journalist. (Is that possibly a whiskey nose???)

Dean Hutton 1943. Science guru.

Peter Jensen 1943. Ultra-conservative Anglican Bishop of Sydney. Prize idiot.

Derryn Hinch 1944. Radio loudmouth. (Liver cancer.)

Ivan Milat 1944. Serial killer (recently into self-mutilation, such as cutting off his finger with a plastic knife.)

Dick Smith 1944. Entrepreneur, aviation guru and big-noting philanthropist. Supercilious git.

Sam Newman 1945. AFL footballer, prize idiot. (Health issues.)

Patti Newton 1945. Bert's wife and entertainer in her own right. (Memory problems.)

Peter Russell-Clarke 1946? Celebrity chef (Obesity.)

Ian "Molly" Meldrum 1946. Music reviewer and television personality. (Drugs.)

Rowena Wallace 1947. Actress. (Health problems.)

Kim Beazley 1948. Ex-politician. (Obesity.)

Ric Patterson 1948? Radio announcer (Obesity.)

Lionel Rose 1948. Good boxer, lousy country singer. (Alcoholism/stroke.)

Stevie Wright 1948. Rock star. (Huge amount of brain damage from drug and alcohol abuse.)

Ray Misson 1949? Academic idiot who largely caused Australia's literacy problems. Anti-intellectual.

Rob Bredl 1950. Crocodile hunter.

Peter Renshaw 1950? Corrupt educational academic from UQ. (Ditheriness.)

Raelene Boyle 1951. Athlete. (Breast cancer.)

Renee Geyer 1951. Soul singer. (Past drug use.)

John Jarratt 1952. Actor. (Alcoholism.)

Richard Moore 1953? Inept Tasmanian radio comedian (Lifestyle.)

Mark "Chopper" Read 1954. Criminal, hitman. (Hepatitis C; possible contracts on his life?)

Paul Lennon 1955. Politician, Tasmanian Premier. (Alcoholism.)

Jimmy Barnes 1956. Rock singer. (Past substance abuse.)

Mel Gibson 1956. Drunkard. Anti-semite. Actor. (Alcoholism.)

Adriana Xenides 1956. Game show hostess. (Mental health issues.)

Sarah Douglass 1957. Fantasy writer.

Wayne Johnston 1957. AFL footballer. (Alleged drug use.)

Gary Sweet 1957. Talentless "actor." (Alleged drug use.)

Christina Amphlett 1959. Rocker who sings about touching herself. (Alcoholism and multiple sclerosis.)

Wally Lewis 1959. Rugby player. (Severe epilepsy.)

Paul "Fatty" Vautin 1959. Rugby player. (Brain damage from television stunt.)

David Boon 1960. Fat cricketer.

Gary Ablett 1961. AFL Footballer. (Drug use and all kinds of other problems.)

Merv Hughes 1961. Fat cricketer.

Mark Latham 1961. Politician. (Chronic pancreatis.)

Tottie Goldsmith 1962. Hostess of television sex show. (Alleged drug use.)

Jeff Fenech 1964. Boxer and thug. (Hard life.)

Elle MacPherson 1964. Supermodel. (Alleged drug use.)

Chris Chugg 1965? Bodybuilder and weightlifting coach. (Steroids.)

Mark Occhilupo 1966. Surfer. (Past drug problems.)

Andrew McDonald 1967? Tasmanian hockey coach. (Psychiatric problems.)

Keith Urban 1967. Mr Nicole Kidman. (Alcoholism.)

Jason Donovan 1968. Talentless actor. (Drug use.)

Kylie Minogue 1968. Singing budgie. (Cancer may return.)

Naomi Robson 1968. Trashy current affairs show hostess. (Alleged hard drug use.)

Paula Wriedt 1968. Politician and nymphomaniac. (Mental health issues.)

Shane Warne 1969. Cricketer, adulterer, gambler, drug cheat. (Life in the fast lane.)

Dean Capobianco 1970. Sprinter. (Steroid abuse.)

Fiona Coote 1970. Heart transplant recipient.

Tania Zaetta 1970. Skanky model and Bollywood wannabe. (Alleged drug use.)

Wayne Carey 1971. AFL Footballer and thug. (All kinds of huge problems.)

Mary Donaldson 1972. Crown Princess of Denmark. (Grace. Diana. Mary?)

Greg Page 1972. Yellow Wiggle. (Orthostatic intolerance.)

Kimberley Joseph 1973. Rubbish actress; rude cow; pal of the late Megan Connelly. (Where there's smoke...)

Kate Kendall 1973. Actress. (Alleged hard drug use.)

Susie Maroney 1974. Marathon swimmer. (Mental health issues, lots of personal problems in her life.)

Natalie Imbruglia 1975. Talentless "pop sensation." (Alleged hard drug use.)

Anthony Mundine 1975. Asshat.

Andrew Symonds 1975. Cricketer. (Alcoholism.)

Marcus Ambrose 1976. Racing car driver.

Mark Webber 1976. Formula 1 driver.

Ben Cousins 1978. AFL footballer. (Drug addict.)

Matt Shirvington 1978. Sprinter. (Alleged steroid abuse.)

Rose Byrne 1979. Actress, Heath Ledger's pal. (Hollywood lifestyle can be a trap for the young and unwary...)

Robbie Maddison 1981. Stuntman.

Delta Goodrem 1984. Talentless "pop sensation." (Cancer may return.)

Casey Stoner 1985. World Motorcycle Champion.

Lara Bingle. 1987. Bimbo.

Nick D'Arcy 1987. Drunken brawler and sometimes champion swimmer. (One bar-room fight too many?)

Nikki Webster 1987. Precocious brat.

Bindi Irwin 1998. Precocious brat.

 

 

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Isadora Duncan, a scarf and a Bugatti: Ingredients for the best death ever!