Hartlepool Deadlypool 2025

[Death Impends 8,063]

So, yes, our limp noodle of a deadpooling year known as 2024 finally encroaches to a close, and it's time to look forward with another go around at the ol' HPDP. Surely Carter, Chomsky, and Ruth langsford mother all can't have another year in their tanks?

 

I've already submitted all my teams for deadpools with a Jan 1 start date so will be good to look at PMs ASAP.

 

Rules

 

Points are scored according to the following highly complex scoring system:

 

Competitors are awarded points according to the order in which their candidates die.

 

The starting positions are as follows:

 

•     Candidate 1: 50 points
•     Candidate 2: 45 points
•     Candidate 3: 40 points
•     Candidate 4: 35 points
•     Candidate 5: 30 points
•     Candidate 6: 25 points
•     Candidate 7: 20 points
•     Candidate 8: 15 points
•     Candidate 9: 10 points
•     Candidate 10: 5 points

 

When the first candidate dies, points will be awarded as above, and the remaining potential scores will slide up or down one position. If candidate 1 dies first, the team gets 50 points and the points below all increase by 5, so candidate 2 will get 50 points if he or she is the next to go.

 

If a celebrity departs further down the list before the ones above are gone, the scores above are reduced by 5, causing the highest remaining score on the list to disappear. Those below will increase by 5 as before.

 

This will often cause two celebrities to have the same number of points next to their names, but the order in which they die will still influence subsequent scores.

 

Additionally, the player is allowed up to two substitutes. The substitutes will still count as part of the player's team, but use a fully different scoring system: 25 points if one substitute dies, 50 if the second substitute dies. Bonuses do not apply to substitute hits - this likewise means that subs will not take away a name's unique bonus if only one team has said name in their main ten.

 

If a name on the player's team dies before the pool opens, they will not receive points for the death (barring a minuscule consolation point or two). They will be allowed to put a new name on their main team, either from the subs bench or a new name entirely. If a sub is promoted, they are entitled to name a new sub.

 

Note that premature deaths are the only circumstances in which changes to a team are allowed. Otherwise, teams will be entered as originally submitted. If Ryan Buell announces hospice care after you've submitted, tough luck. I'm doing you a favor with that one, after all. As the host receives an email copy of any PMed teams as originally submitted, each email will be cross-checked before a team is entered - discrete edits to your PMed team will not sneak by!

 

If a celebrity has unambiguously died within the deadpooling year, but a specific date of death is not provided, the latest plausible date of death will be used. This follows the precedent set by Leah Bracknell, who was a popular hit in 2019, but for many months her date of death was never elaborated beyond being in September. By the time her exact date of death was known, the 2019 HPDP was long-concluded and it would not have changed the winner anyway. I ultimately treated her as the last September hit, and any future hits in that vein will have a similar logic applied. Note that if details later emerge giving a person a specific date of death before the year's game is concluded, the scores will be adjusted accordingly.

 

The Bonus System:

 

• Candidate not picked by any other competitor +2
• Candidate under 18 years old -2
• 25th or less in line to the throne of Belgium, The Netherlands, Sweden or Denmark +2
• Been on Celebrity Squares (or Hollywood Squares) +3
• Death of candidate in spite of extremely high improbability or unlikeliness of same. +5
• US Baseball or Basketball player -3
• Former or present UK Prime Minister +3
• Drummer +2
• Former or present US president +3
• Guilty (in Notapotato's opinion) of crimes against humanity +3 (with Notapotato rarely appearing, host Death Impends will use her own judgement for such cases)
• Both of the above +6
• Has played in a pantomime +2
• Has performed Morris dancing +3
• Found dead in a Swimming Pool +3
• Died in a farming or gardening accident +2
• Death worthy of a Darwin Award +2
• Murder, Suicide, Lightning +2
• Dies on Notapotato's birthday (16th of May) +2
• Death by Fire +2
• Death by Water +2
• Death by Bongo +6

 

The bonus is calculated according to the following simple formula:

 

Bonus x (score gained from death divided by 5)

 

Multiple bonuses multiply so a bonus of 3 and a bonus of 2 give together a bonus of 6. This makes negative bonuses extremely unattractive.

 

So a bonus of 2 on a score of 40 gives you 2*(40/5)=16

 

Additionally, there will be a bonus of 50 points for coming in in 13th place in the Hartlepool Deadlypool. Unless there are only 13 or fewer entries. then there won't be.

 

Nothing could be simpler.

 

Oh yes, and there's an extra bonus of unspecified size payable on the first hit of the team which has the most interesting and unusual selection of celebrities.

 

The host also reserves the right to reward further, minuscule bonuses to teams - often less than a point!

 

1. Dead means dead. No longer living:

 

• A bit like William Holden who having just been fished out of Gloria Swanson's swimming pool, died drunk and impoverished a mere 31 years later.
• Eligible for a death certificate. (A Munchkin is optional but may get a bonus)

 

2. For the purpose of the game a "celebrity" is someone well-enough known to get their death mentioned in one of the news sources host Death Impends deems qualifying for this pool:

 

• Anything that qualifies for the Derby Dead Pool
• The New York Times
• The Washington Post
• The Scotsman
• Canadian Broadcasting Corporation
• The Australian
• The Sydney Morning Herald
• Stuff.co.nz
• Le Monde
• Le Figaro
• Der Spiegel
• Die Zeit
• El Pais
• El Mundo
• Corriere della Sera
• la Repubblica

 

3. Only human beings may be submitted as candidates. Animals may take part in the dead pool, but may be ridiculed for doing so, and may not get any points. Unless they are cats with a long history of doing dead pools. Team names which sound like an animal such as "Donkey from Hell" or "Dead as a Parrot" are allowed, I suppose, but may be ridiculed.

 

3a. Strictly only one team per participant. The submission of teams in the name of domestic animals in an attempt to circumvent this rule is doomed to failure. And ridicule.

 

4. If a participant dies during the competition, unlike in some dead pools, they don't win the competition automatically. They may, however, get awarded a few extra points by way of consolation. And next year, a bonus will be named after you, perhaps. If you do die during the course of 2025, do drop us a line and let us know where you went wrong so others can avoid making the same mistake.

 

4a. For legal reasons, we are unable to actively encourage participants to murder or otherwise accelerate the deaths of their chosen celebrities. There is however no penalty in the Hartlepool Deadlypool for doing so. Your Procurator Fiscal or local alternative may see this differently though, so we recommend asking beforehand.

 

5. Anyone selecting the following types of names will be summarily ridiculed and very likely penalised in an arbitrary and unpleasant way should their candidates actually die or be killed:

 

• Famous For Being Ill names. The penalty incurred will be decided upon a name dying and obiting, and is dependent on the host's opinion of the degree of a name's FFBI-ness. A very select few, like Kate Granger to use a past example, I feel have transcended their illness to become a legitimate pick, and will receive no penalty. Those known for longevity are also not considered FFBI and will receive full points. Names who are proactive with their illness, but of a lower profile than the Granger types, will receive a moderate-to-severe penalty. If a name is "famous" solely for reasons such as an "inspiring" deathbed marriage or being in a coma, they will receive no points or perhaps even negative points!
• Fringes of Fame names are similarly subject to a penalty. I will likewise judge these names on a case by case basis upon death. If a name has some claim to fame independent of their relationship, I will likely be lenient - think Rayya Elias, whose news coverage in her final years was largely about Liz Gilbert's partnership with her, but was a published author in her own right. I will also be lenient with fringey names who have received a reasonable amount of media coverage prior to ill health - for instance, Roberta McCain was only noteworthy as John McCain's mother, but was a familiar media presence during his 2008 presidential campaign and had a standalone Wikipedia page since 2007. But if a Hollywood star makes a tearful post to Instagram about how their sister is terminally ill? If the sister never got much media attention pre-cancer, don't expect to gain a lot should she become a hit.
• Anyone under sentence of death or highly likely to be sentenced to death at the start of the year, unless they die by means other than execution
• Anyone missing in action at the time of entry submission, unless said MIA name is discovered to be alive, and dies later in the year

 

5a. And you won't be getting the extra bonus points for original and unusual picks if you don't come up with something a bit more original or unusual.

 

6. The deadline is 23:59 GMT on December 31. However, unlike most dead pools, teams may still be submitted post deadline - with the catch that any teams submitted January 1st and beyond are limited to 9 picks (plus two substitutes), and the highest-ranked name on your team starts with a value of 45 points. In fairness to those who entered in a timely manner, I will also forbid late entrants from including any currently unique names on their main team. Names that are entirely unpicked, only on subs benches, or on multiple main teams are fair game for inclusion. Because the subs bench has no impact on a pick's uniqueness, any name is fair game for inclusion on a late team's subs bench.

 

7. Though only deaths occurring up to December 31, 2025 are able to count as hits, the 2025 HPDP will officially close 23:59 GMT on January 7, 2026, to allow some breathing room for late-year deaths that might take a few days to accrue a proper obit.

[Death Impends 8,063]

[picks will go here]

[Death Impends 8,063]

[teams will go here]

[Joey Russ 7,272]

Let’s see if 2024 Deathlist’s poor performance carries over to this Hartlepool squad this year.

 

1. Pope Francis

2. Patricia Routledge

3. Clint Eastwood

4. Gene Hackman

5. Hans Blix

6. Julie Walters

7. Tom Brokaw

8. Daniel Barenboim

9. Esther Rantzen 

10. Roberta Flack

Subs:

1. Josef Fritzl

2. Brigette Bardot 

[arghton 6,902]

Thank you for running this again, here's my mess of a team. Once again with the Wizard of New Zealand, but this time with a third Ono too.

 

1. Jimmy Carter

2. P. J. Proby

3. Jiro Ono

4. Takashi Ono

5. Yoko Ono

6. The Wizard of New Zealand

7. Jake "The Snake" Roberts

8. John Kirkpatrick

9. Bereket Mengisteab

10. Joseph Kony

 

Subs

Zhu Rongji

Tony Snell (poet)

[livingbygrace 433]

1.Jimmy Carter

2.Richard Harris (Black Bart)

3.Peter Yarrow

4.Ian Smith

5.Kaiti Grey

6.Steve McMichael

7.Jean Marie LePen

8.Caren Marsh Doll

9.Eva Marie Saint

10.Alan Greenspan

Subs:

1.John Astin

2.David Attenborough

 

 

 

[time 8,689]

My team has been submitted I've sent it via PM so I don't reveal my picks

 

Spoiler

which are pretty much the same as last year

 

[Bobytomi 135]

1. Noam Chomsky
2. Jimmy Carter
3. Joanne Woodward
4. Vernon L. Smith
5. Charles Dolan
6. Imelda Marcos
7. Jane Morgan
8. Mahathir Mohamad
9. Stanley Baxter
10. Raul Castro

Subs:
Sandy Gall
Sidney Cooke

[Death Impends 8,063]

5 hours ago, arghton said:

Thank you for running this again, here's my mess of a team. Once again with the Wizard of New Zealand, but this time with a third Ono too.

 

1. Jimmy Carter

2. P. J. Proby

3. Jiro Ono

4. Takashi Ono

5. Yoko Ono

6. The Wizard of New Zealand

7. Jake "The Snake" Roberts

8. John Kirkpatrick

9. Bereket Mengisteab 

10. Joseph Kony

 

Subs

Zhu Rongji

Tony Snell (poet)

 

Wiki brings up two nonagenarian Takashi Onos, can you clarify which one? I'm guessing the Olympian, but just making sure.

[GuyFromFuture 69]

1.Jose Mujica
2.Black Bart
3.Johnny Walker
4.Beatrice Picard
5.Maria Galiana
6.George Chuvalo
7.Peter McParland
8.Naina Yeltsina
9.Mira Spivak
10.Valerie Andre

subs
Dick Duff
Buzz Aldrin

 

[arghton 6,902]

5 hours ago, Death Impends said:

 

Wiki brings up two nonagenarian Takashi Onos, can you clarify which one? I'm guessing the Olympian, but just making sure.

The olympian

[YoungWillz 21,261]

Team sent by PM.

 

*sigh* more NotAWinner rather than NotAPotato!