The Death Of The Traditional Nursery Rhyme

[Brinsworth House Baiter 12]

I think the above is a little unkind...kinda liked it myself.

 

Mind you, I'm sure Banshees won't lose too much sleep over the opinions of a critic who could only summon up enough imagination to sign him/herself in as '?', can't differentiate between 'to' and 'too' and overdoses on smilies.

[Six 23]

I think the above is a little unkind...kinda liked it myself.

 

Mind you, I'm sure Banshees won't lose too much sleep over the opinions of a critic who could only summon up enough imagination to sign him/herself in as '?', can't differentiate between 'to' and 'too' and overdoses on smilies.

 

Don't forget the inability to use capital letters and full stops.

 

There's some great rhyming going on in this thread, it should all be published( my exclamation mark button doesn't work, so I'm using stars instead, ok? )**

I'm going to lower the tone now and include a politically correct nursery rhyme I wrote for a short collection called ' Politically Correct Nursery Rhymes and Fairy Stories for Really Bored People, Called Colin, In Hospital. '#

_____

 

Chronologically-advanced matriarch Hubbard,

Went to the cupboard

To fetch her poverty stricken non-human animal companion a bone.

 

When she got there,

The cupboard was lacking in essential items

And so her poverty stricken non-human animal companion had none.

____________

 

Hmmm. I could add more, but don't worry, I won't.

 

 

# Written for my uncle, called Colin, who was in hospital and bored- though you'd never guess that from the title.

[maryportfuncity 10,646]

There was an old woman

Who lived in a shoe

She had so many children

Her uterus fell out!

[Six 23]

There was an old woman

Who lived in a shoe

She had so many children

Her uterus fell out!

[Phantom 2,533]

Georgie Porgie Pudding and Pie

Kissed the girls and made them cry

When the boys came out to play

He kissed them too, he's funny that way

[Handrejka 1,904]

Mary had a little skirt

With a split right uo the side

When she bent right over

You could see her thighs

 

Mary had a little skirt

With a split right up the front

 

But she didn't wear that very often

 

 

 

 

I remember someone speculating if "Calling Occupants of Interplanetary Craft " was the PC version and it was really called "Oi Greenskin, we wanna word"

[Phantom 2,533]

Mary had a little lamb

The doctors were astounded

Everywhere she went

gynecologists surrounded

[Madame Defarge 21]

Olaf came from Finland

In a longboat built for speed,

Loaded up with Viking stuff

And sixty quarts of mead.

 

Olaf sailed the ocean

At least a month or more

Until at last he pulled up fast

On Deathlist's foggy shore.

 

He saw Four Horsemen on the strand

He heard the Banshee's Scream

As Boudicca stood poised for war

Across a StarCrossed stream.

 

Olaf was a wretched sod

By many men a'feared

His enemies are mad with joy

Now Olaf's disappeared.

 

He may have bumbled in a bog

Or faltered, drunken, in a fen.

Whatever happened, he's long gone

Since God alone knows when.

 

They're whispering in Finland,though

That Olaf is not dead,

Just trapped forever in the maze

Of Dickie's Endless Thread.

[Six 23]

That's a pretty good rhyme you got there Mme Defarge. I'm assuming from the content that you wrote it yourself and it's not a traditional rhyme from ancient times - I could be wrong though... maybe it is some kind of prophetic piece?

 

Anyway, well done on an excellent peice of writing!

[Madame Defarge 21]

That's a pretty good rhyme you got there Mme Defarge. I'm assuming from the content that you wrote it yourself and it's not a traditional rhyme from ancient times - I could be wrong though... maybe it is some kind of prophetic piece?

 

Anyway, well done on an excellent peice of writing!

Thanks, Six! It doesn't mean anything and it's not from anything. My brain took a detour

but I have it back in custody, reined in, and on topic:

 

The owl and the pussycat went to sea

In a biodegradeable keel.

They took an attorney, along for the journey

To sign the pre-nuptual deal.

[Six 23]

....I'm going to lower the tone now and include a politically correct nursery rhyme I wrote for a short collection called ' Politically Correct Nursery Rhymes and Fairy Stories for Really Bored People, Called Colin, In Hospital. '#

_____

 

Chronologically-advanced matriarch Hubbard,

Went to the cupboard

To fetch her poverty stricken non-human animal companion a bone.

 

When she got there,

The cupboard was lacking in essential items

And so her poverty stricken non-human animal companion had none.

 

# Written for my uncle, called Colin, who was in hospital and bored- though you'd never guess that from the title.

 

The owl and the pussycat went to sea

In a biodegradeable keel.

They took an attorney, along for the journey

To sign the pre-nuptual deal.

 

You're pretty good at this aren't you, Mme Defarge .

I'm thinking of copying some of these nursery rhymes down, to send to my poor ole uncle Colin. He loves this kind of crap. So... if any of you out there object to my jotting down your writings, let me know...

 

I won't plagiarise either, it will all be properly referenced, and I'll even correct the spelling mistakes

[Brinsworth House Baiter 12]

You're pretty good at this aren't you, Mme Defarge

 

I'm thinking of copying some of these nursery rhymes down, to send to my poor ole uncle Colin. He loves this kind of crap.

 

Is this what they call a veiled compliment?

[Madame Defarge 21]

You're pretty good at this aren't you, Mme Defarge

 

I'm thinking of copying some of these nursery rhymes down, to send to my poor ole uncle Colin. He loves this kind of crap.

 

Is this what they call a veiled compliment?

I don't know about you BHB, but I shamelessly accept compliments of any sort.

 

Little Miss Muffet

Sat on her tuffet

Eating her brown rice and peas.

Said the spider beside her

'I'll have me a cider

And anchovy pizza with cheese .'

 

Uh..Don't get up, I'll let myself out. Cheers, Colin!

[Six 23]

You're pretty good at this aren't you, Mme Defarge

I'm thinking of copying some of these nursery rhymes down, to send to my poor ole uncle Colin. He loves this kind of crap.

Is this what they call a veiled compliment?

 

I meant ' crap ' in a good way... good crap....

Little Miss Muffet

Sat on her tuffet

Eating her brown rice and peas.

Said the spider beside her

'I'll have me a cider

And anchovy pizza with cheese .'

 

Uh..Don't get up, I'll let myself out. Cheers, Colin!

 

Another hit there, Mme D. You'll have to stop soon, or I'll have to call the collection ' Rhymes By Mme Defarge ', rather than 'Rhymes from the DeathList'.