maryportfuncity 10,673 Posted December 1, 2013 And you Will Know us by the Trail of Dead. The carkers that count: Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
maryportfuncity 10,673 Posted December 1, 2013 Masterlist Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
maryportfuncity 10,673 Posted December 1, 2013 It's fast, it's furious, it's f***in' good fun. Take twenty topplers, herd them into a team and punt your proposals to Maryport, PM or post on this forum are both acceptable. Be there or...don't be there, or summat. On last year's evidence nobody will enter until the middle of the month but please note two points: 1 - In response to the discussion on the last Deathrace thread we've gone with teams of twenty all round. The easy option is to double up your DDP team. The ambitious option is to lump in twenty of the lowest hangers, take advantage of the ludicrously lax obit-counting rules hereabouts before collecting copious pointage from the resulting carnage, or summat. 2 - Entries close at midnight on 30 December meaning I can get everything ready for action by daylight, or thereabouts, on 1 Jan. No second chances this time, deadline is deadline and the time recorded on this forum or PM decides etc etc. 12-01 31-12-13 is too late. Scoreboard Death Impends – 2102 Rotten Ali - 1609 The Engineer - 1494 MSC – 1362 Maryportfuncity – 1332 Damon Killian – 1046 Book – 996 Estuarian Float – 974 Toast - 870 Time – 823 Captain Chorizo - 685 Bibliogryphon – 673 Uschi – 669 Whitehouse - 515 List of Teams Bibliogryphon's body bag – bg Book - bk Captain Chorizo – cc Deathray – dr Death Impends – di The Engineer – te Estuarian Float - ef Damon Killian – dk Maryportfuncity – mp MSC – ms Rotten Ali - ra Time – ti Toast’s Topplers – to Tick Tock - tt Uschi – uc Whitehouse - wh Deathrace Hall of Fame Winner 2009: Raskolnikov Winner 2011: Devon Death Trip Winner 2012: Spade Cooley Winner 2013: Devon Death Trip Winner 2014: Death Impends Gazza: Perpetual possibility, eluded the Deathrace scorers in 2014 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
maryportfuncity 10,673 Posted December 1, 2013 And you Will Know us by the Trail of Dead. The Carkers that Count: 1st Jan: Dorothy Baldwin – mp - 364 pts 6th Jan: Brian Hart - ra - 359 6th Jan: Larry D Mann - wh - 359 7th Jan: Run Run Shaw – ms, to - 358 11th Jan: Ariel Sharon – dk, ra - 354 11th Jan: Felix (Ryan) Glenny – mp - 354 17th Jan: Suchitra Sen - di - 348 27th Jan: Pete Seeger – uc - 338 3rd Feb: Louise Brough-Clapp – uc - 329 23rd Feb: Alice Herz-Sommer - cc, di - 309 10th Mar: Joe McGinniss - ef - 296 14th Mar: Tony Benn – bg, ra, te, to - 292 19th Mar: Fred Phelps – ms - 287 24th Mar: Adolfo Suarez – dk - 282 6th Apr: Mickey Rooney – bk - 269 10th Apr: Sue Townsend – bk - 264 24th Apr: Arturo Licata – di, te - 250 2nd May: Efrem Zimbalist, Jr. – bk, ti - 243 7th May: Katherine Crowe – ef, mp, te - 238 25th May: Wojciech Jaruzelski – bk, bg, di*,dk, ef*,mp, ra, te, ms, ti, to - 220 1st June: Jay Lake - di - 213 8th June: Alexander Imich – di, ms - 206 12th June: Carla Laemmle – cc - 202 15th June: Francis Matthews – ti - 199 15th June: Casey Kasem - ra - 199 20th June: Jim Bamber - di - 194 24th June: Eli Wallach – dk, te - 190 10th July: Zohra Sehgal – cc - 174 19th July: James Garner - ra - 165 23rd July: Dora Bryan – bg, ti - 161 28th July: Sally Farmiloe – mp, te, wh - 156 5th Aug: Chapman Pincher – te, ms - 148 10 Aug: Kathleen Ollerenshaw – ms - 143 11 Aug: Raymond Gravel - di - 142 Who better to play them on their way? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
maryportfuncity 10,673 Posted December 1, 2013 Masterlist Licia Albanise – cc Muhammad Ali – bk, wh Gabriel Amorth – ms Jen Arnold - wh Renee Asherson – cc, ms Brooke Ashley - uc David Attenborough – dk Richard Attenborough – dk, ra*, to Dorothy Baldwin – mp Jim Bamber – di Lord Derek Barber – dr Stanley Baxter - tt Linda Bellingham – wh Tony Benn – bg, ra, te, to Daisy Berkowitz/Scott Putesky - dk, ef Rodney Bewes – bg Ronnie Biggs – bg – DNS DUE TO DEATH Frank Bough – ms Dora Bryan – bg, ti Louise Brough-Clapp – uc Barbara Bush - wh George H W Bush – bg, dr, te, uc, wh Matilde Capuis – cc Pierre Cardin – bk Mary Carlisle – cc Jimmy Carter – dr, wh Fidel Castro - uc Owen Chadwick – ms Richard Chamberlain – uc Cher – cc Katherine Crowe – ef, mp, te Bart Cummings - to Javier Perez De Cuellar – ti Stan Curtis – ef Liz Dawn – bg* Doris Day – ti, tt, uc* Tommy Docherty - tt Fats Domino - to Kirk Douglas – bg, bk, ra, te, ti, to Ellen Albertini Dow – cc Freeman Dyson – ms Dhaqabo Ebba – cc* Lily Ebert – mp Missy Elliott - wh Sally Farmiloe – mp, te, wh Helen Fawkes – mp Lawrence Ferlinghetti – ms Bruce Forsythe – dk, dr Aretha Frankin – wh Jane Freeman - tt John Freeman – bg Zsa Zsa Gabor – bk, dr, mp, ra, to, uc James Garner - ra Boutros Boutros Ghali – bg Ruth Bader Ginsberg - to John Glenn – bg, ti Felix (Ryan) Glenny – mp Louisa Goodman - mp Billy Graham (Evangelist) – bk, di, dr, ef, mp*,ra, te*, ti*, to Superstar Billy Graham – ef, te Dr. Kate Granger – ef, mp, te Gunter Grass – uc Raymond Gravel - di Kristin Hallenga - mp Gerald Harper - ti Valerie Harper – bk, dr, mp, te, tt Rolf Harris - te Brian Hart - ra Diana Haughton - mp Joao Havelange – bk, ra Olivia de Havilland – bk, ef, to, tt, uc Steven Hawking – ra, uc Dennis Healey – bg, dr Buck Henry – ti Alice Herz-Sommer – di Jimmy Hill - tt Arthur Hiller – ms Claire Hollingworth – ms Geoffrey Howe - tt Barry Humphries – uc Baron Hutchinson of Lullington - dr Alexander Imich – di, ms Joe Jackson (Michael’s dad) - wh Clive James – bg, dk, ra, te Wojciech Jaruzelski – bk, bg, di*,dk, ef*,mp, ra, te, ms, ti, to Dr. John – tt Glynis Johns - tt Wilko Johnson – bk*,bg, di, dk*, dr*, ef, mp, ra, te, wh Quincey Jones - tt Vinnie Jones - wh Mikhail Kalashnikov – dk – DNS DUE TO DEATH Casey Kasem - ra Christine Keeler - dr Heinz Kessler – ms* B.B. King – to* Patricia Knatchbull – ti Charles K. Kao - tt Cleo Laine – bk Jay Lake - di Paul Lamb - mp Ethel Lang – bg, cc, di, dr, mp, ti Carla Laemmle – cc Sue Landske – ef Christopher Lee – to Jerry Lewis - tt Arturo Licata – di, te Vera Lynn – bk, cc, te, ti Norman Lloyd – bg Shane MacGowan – wh Patrick Macnee - tt Nelson Mandela – bg – DNS DUE TO DEATH Larry D Mann - wh Charles Manson - dk Leo Marjane – cc Penny Marshall – dk, ra George Martin - tt Francis Matthews – ti Brian May - dk, wh Roberta McCain – cc Henry McCullough – ms Joe McGinniss - ef Sheila Mercier – ti, to Bobbie Hein Miller – cc Al Molinaro – ti, tt Robert Mugabe - ef James Munro – bg, ti Pete Murray - tt Douglas Myers – di Willie Nelson - tt Misao Okawa – bg, cc, di, dr, ef, te Magda Olivero – cc Kathleen Ollerenshaw – ms Mario Oriani-Ambrosini – di, ef Ozzy Osbourne – dr Sharon Osbourne - wh Ian Paisley – dr, mp, ra Michael Parkinson - wh I.M. Pei – dk, ti Fred Phelps – ms Philip, Duke of Edinburgh – bg, bk, uc Leslie Philips – bg Chapman Pincher – te, ms Bonnie Pointer – uc Ida Pollock – cc – DNS DUE TO DEATH Olaf Pooley – ms John Profumo – dr – DNS DUE TO DEATH Árpád Pusztai - ef Luise Rainer – cc, ef, to Nancy Reagan - ra Albert Reynolds – mp, ra, to Keith Richards - uc Doris Roberts – bk David Rockerfeller – bk Mickey Rooney – bk Gene Saks – ms Peter Sallis – to, tt* Jerry Sandusky – dk Ariel Sharon - ra Helmut Schmidt – bk Robert Schuller – ef Alby Schultz - di Michael Schumacher – di, dr, ef, to, wh Pete Seeger – uc Vic Seixas – dr Suchitra Sen – di Douglas Slocombe – ms Edward Snowden - uc Adolfo Suarez – dk Zohra Sehgal – cc Ariel Sharon – dk Run Run Shaw – ms, to Don Shula – dk Sam Simon – bk, di, dk, dr, ef, mp, te, uc, wh Alice Herz-Sommer - cc Godfrey Stafford – bg – DNS DUE TO DEATH Jeralean Talley – cc Valentina Vladimirovna Tereshkova - tt Derek Thompson – dk Jeremy Thorpe - to Lupita Tovar – cc Charles Townes – ms Sue Townsend – bk Baroness Trumpington – dr Joseph Wapner – ti Joost van der Westhuizen – dk, te, wh Dick van Dyke – dk Robert Wagner – uc Eli Wallach – dk, te Lorraine Warren – uc Ian Watkins – uc Gough Whitlam – bg, di, ra, to Tex Winter – ef Lee Kuan Yew – di, ra Zhou Youguang - di Jimmy Young – ti Efrem Zimbalist, Jr. – bk, ti Valerie Harper: has a film planned for release in 2014, is anything else likely to happen in her life? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
maryportfuncity 10,673 Posted December 1, 2013 DEATHRACE 2014: THE RULES 1 – The object of the Deathrace is to be the first contestant to reach 2014 points. 2 – To enter the Deathrace a contestant must have A: A valid and current DDP team or a Deathrace Twenty Topplers Team (DTT) team. B: Status as a member of the Deathlist (i.e. be at least a Pointless Ranter and at most a Dedicated Cumbrian Corpse Hound, or Summat) Or…..successfully argue a case to MPFC for entry without the above. 3 – Entries are open until midnight on 30 December. A team will be deemed to have entered when they post a full DDP team on the Deathrace thread on the Deathlist. Or A special ‘Deathrace Twenty Topplers’ (DTT) line-up concocted specifically for the Deathrace comprising 20 members conspicuous as ‘low hanging fruit’ of the variety beloved of dead poolers. Including one team member nominated as a joker and a suitable grimly funny team name for the DTT. 4 – Players score points every time a team member dies and accrues an obit (see point 10). The score for each death amounts to 1 point for every complete calendar day of 2014 remaining after the death of said team member. So, a death on January 1st scores 365 points, a death on January 2nd scores 364 points etc. 5 – Jokers score double the normal points in point 4 above. 6 – The winner is the first player to reach or exceed 2014 points. 7 – In the event that a single death pushes more than one player beyond the victory score the winner will be deemed to be the player with the highest overall score. 8 – In the event that a single death pushes more than one player beyond the victory score and a tie remains between the winners, a sudden death play-off will ensue between all potential winners. 8a – The sudden death play off involves all possible winners waiting until one player scores another death of a team member. Said player will then be declared the winner. The sudden death play off will continue until a single clear winner emerges. 9 - For the purposes of the Deathrace the same rules about eligibility of team members apply as apply in the DDP, which is obvious anyway cos we’ve been using those rules from the start of the Deathrace competitions. 10 – ‘Obit’ in the context of the Deathrace means any report from a reliable news source in English. In this context the following are admissable: ‘Newspaper obits, national newspaper reports, local newspaper reports, coverage in trade journals or similar specialist publications. Coverage in widely accepted sites monitoring super-centenarians. In all cases evidence online from these sources is sufficient to count for an ‘obit’ for scoring purposes. In the event of a debate about a ‘reliable news source’ MPFC’s decision is final. But he is very reasonable and quite likely to award points to the lowest hanging fruit. 11 – To qualify for points all team members must be alive on January 1st 2014 or qualify for the Raymond Hewlett Memorial Exemption (RHME) - see point 11a below: 11a – In honour of everyone’s favourite Maddie-implicated paedo-scum the Deathrace operates a policy of awarding 365 points to any candidate widely believed to be alive on 1 January and subsequently discovered to have been deceased when the pool opened. To qualify for such a bonus said candidate must be reported dead in the year of the competition. In the event that an obit counting news report adhering to Deathrace qualification for points is subsequently discovered to have been published before the commencement of the Deathrace all points for the candidate are voided. In the event that the RHME is invoked after the award of the Deathrace championship all that will be offered are hearty congratulations. Once a winner is declared, the result and prize will stand. 11b – In the event of disputes over rule 11a MPFC’s decision is final, but may be appealed by anyone attending a DLCon and supplying MPFC with foaming ale whilst appealing. The decision won’t be changed but MPFC will greatly enjoy the free beer. 13 – If any team is found to have used Deathlist editing options to subtly change the line up of their squad instant disqualification without appeal will follow and MPFC will not be held responsible for any abuse heaped upon said cheat by other posters. 13 – The winner will receive a prize as follows: A: Should the winner attend the next DLCon MPFC will personally offer a single measure of an alcoholic drink of choice (beer/wine or spirit) along with much back-patting and hearty congratulations. B: If A is not possible MPFC will offer an item from his extensive collection of duplicate Carlisle United merchandise kindly donated by relatives who forget he already owns said books, scarves or pork pie hat. C: If option B proves unattractive MPFC may be suggestible, via PMs, to offer summat more suitable. Previous prizes have included a DVD copy of the original Death Race 2000 movie. D: Three out of four previous winners have opted to waive any personal prize and ask instead for MPFC to make a charitable donation in honour of their victory. This kind of thing gives dead pooling a good name and is highly encouraged by MPFC. Other General Stuff: 1 – After the closing date MPFC will post a masterlist of entries. 2 – The scoreboard will be updated at least every ten days. Help in notifying this thread of deaths and posting links to qualifying obits will be greatly appreciated. 3 – On declaration of a winner the thread should be allowed to sink into oblivion after hearty thanks have been offered to DL admins for their tolerance. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
maryportfuncity 10,673 Posted December 2, 2013 (edited) Reet, apologies for starting the thread twice but if I post-whore here it'll drive the thread up the list, again. That'll ensure the other Deathrace 2014 falls down the list and this thread will get dragged back again when someone posts a team entry. Eyes down, look in, or summat. Edited December 2, 2013 by Magere Hein Topics merged Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bibliogryphon 9,614 Posted December 2, 2013 OK no surprises here but I am willing to be the first in the stagnant pond. Bibliogryphon's body bag Tony Benn Rodney Bewes Ronnie Biggs George H W Bush Boutros Boutros Ghali Liz Dawn (Joker) Kirk Douglas John Glenn Dennis Healey Clive James Wojciech Jaruzelski Wilko Johnson Ethel Lang Norman Lloyd Nelson Mandela Misao Okawa Leslie Philips Godfrey Stafford Gough Whitlam Philip, Duke of Edinburgh Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
CaptainChorizo 1,990 Posted December 2, 2013 Dhaqabo Ebba and 19 women so old even he would not smush Dhaqabo Ebba Leo Marjane Lupita Tovar Renee Asherson Misao Okawa Ethel Lang Bobbie Heine Miller Carla Laemmle Luise Rainer Licia Albanese Ellen Albertini Dow Alice Herz-Sommer Roberta McCain Matilde Capuis Magda Olivero Zohra Sehgal Jeralean Talley Vera Lynn Mary Carlisle Cher Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
maryportfuncity 10,673 Posted December 2, 2013 OK no surprises here but I am willing to be the first in the stagnant pond. Bibliogryphon's body bag Tony Benn Rodney Bewes Ronnie Biggs George H W Bush Boutros Boutros Ghali Liz Dawn (Joker) Kirk Douglas John Glenn Dennis Healey Clive James Wojciech Jaruzelski Wilko Johnson Ethel Lang Norman Lloyd Nelson Mandela Misao Okawa Leslie Philips Godfrey Stafford Gough Whitlam Philip, Duke of Edinburgh Godfrey Stafford the Physicist, right? If so, you might want to reconsider that pick in the light of his death last summer. The Raymond Hewlett clause wouldn't apply in his case. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
themaninblack 2,112 Posted December 2, 2013 OK no surprises here but I am willing to be the first in the stagnant pond. Bibliogryphon's body bag Tony Benn Rodney Bewes Ronnie Biggs George H W Bush Boutros Boutros Ghali Liz Dawn (Joker) Kirk Douglas John Glenn Dennis Healey Clive James Wojciech Jaruzelski Wilko Johnson Ethel Lang Norman Lloyd Nelson Mandela Misao Okawa Leslie Philips Godfrey Stafford Gough Whitlam Philip, Duke of Edinburgh Godfrey Stafford the Physicist, right? If so, you might want to reconsider that pick in the light of his death last summer. The Raymond Hewlett clause wouldn't apply in his case. Welcome to my World... 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
maryportfuncity 10,673 Posted December 2, 2013 (edited) I know I started the confusion but... Could one of the mods remove the first three posts from this thread, after which it will all fit perfectly into place, cheers. Cheers for edit Hein Edited December 2, 2013 by maryportfuncity Done Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
maryportfuncity 10,673 Posted December 2, 2013 Dhaqabo Ebba and 19 women so old even he would not smush Dhaqabo Ebba Ida Pollock Lupita Tovar Renee Asherson Misao Okawa Ethel Lang Bobbie Heine Miller Carla Laemmle Luise Rainer Licia Albanese Ellen Albertini Dow Alice Herz-Sommer Roberta McCain Matilde Capuis Magda Olivero Zohra Sehgal Jeralean Talley Vera Lynn Mary Carlisle Cher Bit harsh on Cher re the age, but I like the cut of your jib CC. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bibliogryphon 9,614 Posted December 3, 2013 OK no surprises here but I am willing to be the first in the stagnant pond. Bibliogryphon's body bag Tony Benn Rodney Bewes Ronnie Biggs George H W Bush Boutros Boutros Ghali Liz Dawn (Joker) Kirk Douglas John Glenn Dennis Healey Clive James Wojciech Jaruzelski Wilko Johnson Ethel Lang Norman Lloyd Nelson Mandela Misao Okawa Leslie Philips Godfrey Stafford Gough Whitlam Philip, Duke of Edinburgh Godfrey Stafford the Physicist, right? If so, you might want to reconsider that pick in the light of his death last summer. The Raymond Hewlett clause wouldn't apply in his case. Damn I apologise and would like to substitute Les Munro in the place of Godfrey Stafford. It was very rude of him to die without sending me an e-mail. Thank you for pointing this out. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
maryportfuncity 10,673 Posted December 3, 2013 Les Munro is duly added on your list. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bibliogryphon 9,614 Posted December 5, 2013 Les Munro is duly added on your list. I think I had a lucky escape here because I missed it when he died I don't think he got enough publicity to score me any points. I will learn for 2015. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
maryportfuncity 10,673 Posted December 5, 2013 Oi Biblio...might be time to survey the sub's bench! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bibliogryphon 9,614 Posted December 6, 2013 Oi Biblio...might be time to survey the sub's bench! Dora Bryan strips off her tracksuit and heads for the field of play. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
maryportfuncity 10,673 Posted December 6, 2013 Oi Biblio...might be time to survey the sub's bench! Dora Bryan strips off her tracksuit and heads for the field of play. Yeah, but she thinks she's going to primary school! Nice one. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bibliogryphon 9,614 Posted December 6, 2013 Oi Biblio...might be time to survey the sub's bench! Dora Bryan strips off her tracksuit and heads for the field of play. Yeah, but she thinks she's going to primary school! Nice one. I am running out of names my first team only had 15 names on it then I had to replace Godfrey and now Nelson. If anyone else goes before the starting gun I will be scraping the barrel. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
maryportfuncity 10,673 Posted December 6, 2013 Oi Biblio...might be time to survey the sub's bench! Dora Bryan strips off her tracksuit and heads for the field of play. Yeah, but she thinks she's going to primary school! Nice one. I am running out of names my first team only had 15 names on it then I had to replace Godfrey and now Nelson. If anyone else goes before the starting gun I will be scraping the barrel. Trust me Biblio... the Deathrace loves barrel scrapings! 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
CaptainChorizo 1,990 Posted December 6, 2013 Ida Pollock Can I throw Leo Marjane on as a sub for Ida Pollock who has died. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
maryportfuncity 10,673 Posted December 7, 2013 Ida Pollock Can I throw Leo Marjane on as a sub for Ida Pollock who has died. Yep, done Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bibliogryphon 9,614 Posted December 18, 2013 Hi I am going to replace Ronnie Biggs with the former MP John Freeman. I am also going to play a sub as I will be out of circulation over Christmas and you might need another replacement to make sure that I have a full team for the starting tape. That someone is snooker player Ali Carter. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Deathray 2,942 Posted December 18, 2013 Hi I am going to replace Ronnie Biggs with the former MP John Freeman. I am also going to play a sub as I will be out of circulation over Christmas and you might need another replacement to make sure that I have a full team for the starting tape. That someone is snooker player Ali Carter. He was given the all clear for his testicular cancer yonks ago and his chrohns is not going to kill him any time soon. Weird/stupid choice. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
