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You won't, he'll point at the letters and dribble, his son will say it!

After 23 partially glorious years in the Smoke I'm going to be getting my shit together in the Kent countryside with just the pikey massive for company. So I'll be neighbours with that Welshman fellow and, of course, the DL's most prolific poster. No more Josh Rouse at the Union Chapel, just Colon at the Pig & Entrails. No more Ealing riots, just jalopy racing at the Mid-Kent Autograss. I've ordered a tractor from IKEA, to be delivered in May 2014. If you don't hear from me, you may assume broadband hasn't reached Bladbean yet. Oh, and get orf moi laaand.