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Tesco, for employing thick-as-shit fat Welsh twats who don't know how to operate tills, and think that because I dumped my laptop down on my glasses thus completely fucking them, that in actual fact I deserved a REFUND thus enabling me to now be the proud owner of two spanky new pairs of glasses worth £168, that I only actually paid £46 pounds for. Thanks, you money-grabbing wankers!

Indeed. Poor bull will probably be shot now

Fuck off.

Possably the only people who could shamlessly milk a franchise for every cent better than George . . . they should be great together! Best regrads Syd

Meanwhile, in Texas: Man rams church, chases down pastor, beats him to death with electric guitar That really is no way to treat an expensive musical instrument.

Tragic news. It should have been Coleen...then it should have worked its way throgh the rest of the presenters of loose women. This is where I was getting confused, when I read Bernie I thought Coleen. But they might just be a gestalt entity. I saw them once in summer season at Blackpool, second on the bill to Mike Yarwood. I once was supposed to see them on a 70s weekend at Butlins in Bognor Regis, but I fell asleep on the beach in the afternoon and got sunstroke and spent the evening vomiting in my chalet instead.

This Camilla-is-the-evil-stepmother thing has been going a while - a similar story (minus the dying bit) was on the front cover of another of these rags when I was out in the States in June, saying how she was plotting to persuade Liz to name Charles as her successor instead of William. It's obviously the narrative they think Americans will understand

No its in breach of my control order!

He was in the top 6. You're gonna put him ahead of Tony Sheridan, Billy Preston, Jeff Lynne and George Best? I thought he meant McCartney was top 6 in the Beatles, I can agree with that, as Ringo is the 3rd best drummer. . . in the Beatles. Quite frankly I would find it hard to rate any of the Beatles in the top 500 musicians or songwriters, they just weren’t any good, the original "emperor’s new clothes" Best regards Syd

He was in the top 6.