In Praise Of The "f" Word

[Monoclinic 39]

Well the humble opinion of the pseudo-Belgian jury thinks some people are wetting themselves over a whole load of nothing. If anything it could ignite a magnesium-bright spark of ingenuity amongst regular posters, encouraging experimentation on a scale not seen since a little project went horribly wrong in Manhattan. The richness and diversity of the English (and Dutch) languages are at stake here, where else could one find the inspiration to exploit the zirconesque quality of muffafucking and cocktractor to humouristic effect. 99.3% of the posts are plain dull of late, which can't make for a distracting break Godot can it? In fact to be honest of late I'd prefer to re-read the knee deep piles of J Bollocks Chem on my desk than the drivel we are constantly churning out here.

 

Anyway, I add my tuppenceworth as I stand up and say I was another one of the instigators, encouraging a poor anonymous mod to have a fiddle. Now moving swiftly on and back to felching.

[Godot 149]

Well the humble opinion of the pseudo-Belgian jury thinks some people are wetting themselves over a whole load of nothing. If anything it could ignite a magnesium-bright spark of ingenuity amongst regular posters, encouraging experimentation on a scale not seen since a little project went horribly wrong in Manhattan. The richness and diversity of the English (and Dutch) languages are at stake here, where else could one find the inspiration to exploit the zirconesque quality of muffafucking and cocktractor to humouristic effect. 99.3% of the posts are plain dull of late, which can't make for a distracting break Godot can it? In fact to be honest of late I'd prefer to re-read the knee deep piles of J Bollocks Chem on my desk than the drivel we are constantly churning out here.

n

Anyway, I add my tuppenceworth as I stand up and say I was another one of the instigators, encouraging a poor anonymous mod to have a fiddle. Now moving swiftly on and back to felching.

Mono and Handrejka outed! I say burn 'em as witches! Get your facts right Mono - it's 99.4 per cent of posts. I have just checked and my underpants are dry, if a little sweaty. But I don't think the two of you could have done this alone, even if you were pulling the strings, so to speak. This was an inside job. Where is Star Crossed when we need him?

 

PS. I don't think MPFC you will be so allegedly neutral when you see what has happened to your precious team.

[Lord Fellatio Nelson 6,218]

Well the humble opinion of the pseudo-Belgian jury thinks some people are wetting themselves over a whole load of nothing. If anything it could ignite a magnesium-bright spark of ingenuity amongst regular posters, encouraging experimentation on a scale not seen since a little project went horribly wrong in Manhattan. The richness and diversity of the English (and Dutch) languages are at stake here, where else could one find the inspiration to exploit the zirconesque quality of muffafucking and cocktractor to humouristic effect. 99.3% of the posts are plain dull of late, which can't make for a distracting break Godot can it? In fact to be honest of late I'd prefer to re-read the knee deep piles of J Bollocks Chem on my desk than the drivel we are constantly churning out here.

 

Anyway, I add my tuppenceworth as I stand up and say I was another one of the instigators, encouraging a poor anonymous mod to have a fiddle. Now moving swiftly on and back to felching.

Yep, I cant say that all of this horseshit means that the end of the world is nigh.

Broadly speaking, some of us can find words that get around the filter and some of us cant.

As jolly japes go, the idea to f *** around with the swear filter was w ank.

[Madame Defarge 21]

As it turns out I seem to have developed my own swear filter!

 

I work in an office which is run like a combination of a pre-kindergarten class and Gitmo. Recently they installed a new payroll system which requires us to sign in and out on the computer. The program had some glitches and sometimes we couldn't get into it to record our times. This caused one of the employees in charge of the new program to storm into our room and announce that unless we did it right "YOU PEOPLE AREN'T GOING TO GET PAID!!!!"

 

I will confess right here that her statement in and of itself didn't really bug me that much. Maybe I was just in an evil mood, and as she passed by me I hissed: 'Stop talking to us like we're f uccking serfs!' She stomped out and when she returned her face was still as red as Armitage Shank's nose! And she had the Human Resources lady and two bosses with her. They took me into a little room and told me how lucky I was that they weren't going to fire me. The following day I was taken into another little room with 3 more boss types. They said they had spoken to some eyewitnesses, and that they had all reported that I didn't say the whole word. The consensus was that I had said 'Effin'. I was disappointed. I truly thought I had dropped the F bomb in its entirety. More interviews transpired the next day and I was finally exiled to Bermuda cleared of any evil wrongdoing.

 

I asked my friends if they had heard what I actually said, and they all insisted I said 'Effin'. Horrors. My swear filter has taken on a life of its own, just like the DL one.

 

f_uck

[Lard Bazaar 3,799]

As it turns out I seem to have developed my own swear filter!

 

I work in an office which is run like a combination of a pre-kindergarten class and Gitmo. Recently they installed a new payroll system which requires us to sign in and out on the computer. The program had some glitches and sometimes we couldn't get into it to record our times. This caused one of the employees in charge of the new program to storm into our room and announce that unless we did it right "YOU PEOPLE AREN'T GOING TO GET PAID!!!!"

 

I will confess right here that her statement in and of itself didn't really bug me that much. Maybe I was just in an evil mood, and as she passed by me I hissed: 'Stop talking to us like we're f uccking serfs!' She stomped out and when she returned her face was still as red as Armitage Shank's nose! And she had the Human Resources lady and two bosses with her. They took me into a little room and told me how lucky I was that they weren't going to fire me. The following day I was taken into another little room with 3 more boss types. They said they had spoken to some eyewitnesses, and that they had all reported that I didn't say the whole word. The consensus was that I had said 'Effin'. I was disappointed. I truly thought I had dropped the F bomb in its entirety. More interviews transpired the next day and I was finally exiled to Bermuda cleared of any evil wrongdoing.

 

I asked my friends if they had heard what I actually said, and they all insisted I said 'Effin'. Horrors. My swear filter has taken on a life of its own, just like the DL one.

 

f_uck

 

Bloody hell (that's a bit tame for me) if I'd have been fired every time I said 'f'uck' I would have lasted about 23 minutes in my current job. Personally I don't see the point in 'effin', everyone knows it means 'f'ucking' so why not just say 'f'ucking'?

 

Incidentally, I'm currently on a 'Managing Aggression' course - do you think it's working? (It's supposed to be about managing other people's aggression, not your own, however I think I've been sent on it for ulterior motives).

[maryportfuncity 10,647]

PS. I don't think MPFC you will be so allegedly neutral when you see what has happened to your precious team.

 

Carlisle

Carlisle United

CUFC

 

Nah, I don't get it.

[Lord Fellatio Nelson 6,218]

As it turns out I seem to have developed my own swear filter!

 

I work in an office which is run like a combination of a pre-kindergarten class and Gitmo. Recently they installed a new payroll system which requires us to sign in and out on the computer. The program had some glitches and sometimes we couldn't get into it to record our times. This caused one of the employees in charge of the new program to storm into our room and announce that unless we did it right "YOU PEOPLE AREN'T GOING TO GET PAID!!!!"

 

I will confess right here that her statement in and of itself didn't really bug me that much. Maybe I was just in an evil mood, and as she passed by me I hissed: 'Stop talking to us like we're f uccking serfs!' She stomped out and when she returned her face was still as red as Armitage Shank's nose! And she had the Human Resources lady and two bosses with her. They took me into a little room and told me how lucky I was that they weren't going to fire me. The following day I was taken into another little room with 3 more boss types. They said they had spoken to some eyewitnesses, and that they had all reported that I didn't say the whole word. The consensus was that I had said 'Effin'. I was disappointed. I truly thought I had dropped the F bomb in its entirety. More interviews transpired the next day and I was finally exiled to Bermuda cleared of any evil wrongdoing.

 

I asked my friends if they had heard what I actually said, and they all insisted I said 'Effin'. Horrors. My swear filter has taken on a life of its own, just like the DL one.

 

f_uck

 

Bloody hell (that's a bit tame for me) if I'd have been fired every time I said 'f'uck' I would have lasted about 23 minutes in my current job. Personally I don't see the point in 'effin', everyone knows it means 'f'ucking' so why not just say 'f'ucking'?

 

Incidentally, I'm currently on a 'Managing Aggression' course - do you think it's working? (It's supposed to be about managing other people's aggression, not your own, however I think I've been sent on it for ulterior motives).

Have you knacked the course lecturer yet?

[Godot 149]

PS. I don't think MPFC you will be so allegedly neutral when you see what has happened to your precious team.

 

Carlisle

Carlisle United

CUFC

 

Nah, I don't get it.

That's because the swear filter f'ucker changed it back from Manchester United which had been appearing in its place. We ain't safe in our language any more. The genie has been let out of the bottle or summat and order won't be restored until we vote with our feet. I've only got about seventy posts anyway before I retire at 3,000.

 

Madame Defarge you're a saint. To have a full bells and whistles inquiry in to something like that when it was caused by some office martinet suggests that people have too little to do. Torture is too kind for such people. I need to go on your course Lardy.

[Lard Bazaar 3,799]

As it turns out I seem to have developed my own swear filter!

 

I work in an office which is run like a combination of a pre-kindergarten class and Gitmo. Recently they installed a new payroll system which requires us to sign in and out on the computer. The program had some glitches and sometimes we couldn't get into it to record our times. This caused one of the employees in charge of the new program to storm into our room and announce that unless we did it right "YOU PEOPLE AREN'T GOING TO GET PAID!!!!"

 

I will confess right here that her statement in and of itself didn't really bug me that much. Maybe I was just in an evil mood, and as she passed by me I hissed: 'Stop talking to us like we're f uccking serfs!' She stomped out and when she returned her face was still as red as Armitage Shank's nose! And she had the Human Resources lady and two bosses with her. They took me into a little room and told me how lucky I was that they weren't going to fire me. The following day I was taken into another little room with 3 more boss types. They said they had spoken to some eyewitnesses, and that they had all reported that I didn't say the whole word. The consensus was that I had said 'Effin'. I was disappointed. I truly thought I had dropped the F bomb in its entirety. More interviews transpired the next day and I was finally exiled to Bermuda cleared of any evil wrongdoing.

 

I asked my friends if they had heard what I actually said, and they all insisted I said 'Effin'. Horrors. My swear filter has taken on a life of its own, just like the DL one.

 

f_uck

 

Bloody hell (that's a bit tame for me) if I'd have been fired every time I said 'f'uck' I would have lasted about 23 minutes in my current job. Personally I don't see the point in 'effin', everyone knows it means 'f'ucking' so why not just say 'f'ucking'?

 

Incidentally, I'm currently on a 'Managing Aggression' course - do you think it's working? (It's supposed to be about managing other people's aggression, not your own, however I think I've been sent on it for ulterior motives).

Have you knacked the course lecturer yet?

 

Hell, no, he scares the s'hit out of me, take a look!

[Lord Fellatio Nelson 6,218]

As it turns out I seem to have developed my own swear filter!

 

I work in an office which is run like a combination of a pre-kindergarten class and Gitmo. Recently they installed a new payroll system which requires us to sign in and out on the computer. The program had some glitches and sometimes we couldn't get into it to record our times. This caused one of the employees in charge of the new program to storm into our room and announce that unless we did it right "YOU PEOPLE AREN'T GOING TO GET PAID!!!!"

 

I will confess right here that her statement in and of itself didn't really bug me that much. Maybe I was just in an evil mood, and as she passed by me I hissed: 'Stop talking to us like we're f uccking serfs!' She stomped out and when she returned her face was still as red as Armitage Shank's nose! And she had the Human Resources lady and two bosses with her. They took me into a little room and told me how lucky I was that they weren't going to fire me. The following day I was taken into another little room with 3 more boss types. They said they had spoken to some eyewitnesses, and that they had all reported that I didn't say the whole word. The consensus was that I had said 'Effin'. I was disappointed. I truly thought I had dropped the F bomb in its entirety. More interviews transpired the next day and I was finally exiled to Bermuda cleared of any evil wrongdoing.

 

I asked my friends if they had heard what I actually said, and they all insisted I said 'Effin'. Horrors. My swear filter has taken on a life of its own, just like the DL one.

 

f_uck

 

Bloody hell (that's a bit tame for me) if I'd have been fired every time I said 'f'uck' I would have lasted about 23 minutes in my current job. Personally I don't see the point in 'effin', everyone knows it means 'f'ucking' so why not just say 'f'ucking'?

 

Incidentally, I'm currently on a 'Managing Aggression' course - do you think it's working? (It's supposed to be about managing other people's aggression, not your own, however I think I've been sent on it for ulterior motives).

Have you knacked the course lecturer yet?

 

Hell, no, he scares the s'hit out of me, take a look!

Pah!! looks like a typical Essex boy Lardy.

Looks almost as thuggish as me, actually.

PS: Repeat after me: Bish bosh giv us yer dosh ( then crack the f ucker over the head with a lump of 2x4 )

Just to get you into the swing of things, like.

[Lard Bazaar 3,799]

As it turns out I seem to have developed my own swear filter!

 

I work in an office which is run like a combination of a pre-kindergarten class and Gitmo. Recently they installed a new payroll system which requires us to sign in and out on the computer. The program had some glitches and sometimes we couldn't get into it to record our times. This caused one of the employees in charge of the new program to storm into our room and announce that unless we did it right "YOU PEOPLE AREN'T GOING TO GET PAID!!!!"

 

I will confess right here that her statement in and of itself didn't really bug me that much. Maybe I was just in an evil mood, and as she passed by me I hissed: 'Stop talking to us like we're f uccking serfs!' She stomped out and when she returned her face was still as red as Armitage Shank's nose! And she had the Human Resources lady and two bosses with her. They took me into a little room and told me how lucky I was that they weren't going to fire me. The following day I was taken into another little room with 3 more boss types. They said they had spoken to some eyewitnesses, and that they had all reported that I didn't say the whole word. The consensus was that I had said 'Effin'. I was disappointed. I truly thought I had dropped the F bomb in its entirety. More interviews transpired the next day and I was finally exiled to Bermuda cleared of any evil wrongdoing.

 

I asked my friends if they had heard what I actually said, and they all insisted I said 'Effin'. Horrors. My swear filter has taken on a life of its own, just like the DL one.

 

f_uck

 

Bloody hell (that's a bit tame for me) if I'd have been fired every time I said 'f'uck' I would have lasted about 23 minutes in my current job. Personally I don't see the point in 'effin', everyone knows it means 'f'ucking' so why not just say 'f'ucking'?

 

Incidentally, I'm currently on a 'Managing Aggression' course - do you think it's working? (It's supposed to be about managing other people's aggression, not your own, however I think I've been sent on it for ulterior motives).

Have you knacked the course lecturer yet?

 

Hell, no, he scares the s'hit out of me, take a look!

Pah!! looks like a typical Essex boy Lardy.

Looks almost as thuggish as me, actually.

PS: Repeat after me: Bish bosh giv us yer dosh ( then crack the f ucker over the head with a lump of 2x4 )

Just to get you into the swing of things, like.

 

You're forgetting that I've met you - you look like a pussy cat compared to this fella. He put me in mind of Steven Berkoff in The Krays. It was a very good course actually, something that you would previously have never found me saying about training courses.

[Lord Fellatio Nelson 6,218]

Perhaps the c*cksucker who has totally f'ucked up the swear filter would like to restore it for PMs?

FFS, stop being a f'ucking w'anker!

It wasnt funny, isnt funny and will never be funny.

Prick.

[maryportfuncity 10,647]

Looks almost as thuggish as me, actually.

 

Bit harsh on yer handsome self there surely, LFN.

[Lord Fellatio Nelson 6,218]

Looks almost as thuggish as me, actually.

 

Bit harsh on yer handsome self there surely, LFN.

Flattery will get you everywhere Mary.

[Lard Bazaar 3,799]

Looks almost as thuggish as me, actually.

 

Bit harsh on yer handsome self there surely, LFN.

Flattery will get you everywhere Mary.

 

You're only saying that to Mary because he's a Mary and not a Martin

[Lord Fellatio Nelson 6,218]

Looks almost as thuggish as me, actually.

 

Bit harsh on yer handsome self there surely, LFN.

Flattery will get you everywhere Mary.

 

You're only saying that to Mary because he's a Mary and not a Martin

Arthur or Martha, every holes a goal, Lardy my sweet.

Edit: You really need to say those names wiv a cockerny accent to get the flow...

[Lady Grendel 139]

Word on the street has it that the poor gullible fools (sorry, the Godot swear filter has changed my attempt to write m'oderators) do not have the powers to f'uck around with the swear filter and that only twatheads (duh, it's done it again) can do so. Looking at the list of twatheads (sorry, A'dmins) there are not many contenders.

 

List of twatheads

 

Death Watch Beatle

Football Fan

Grim Reaper

GRMod

Heaven Can Wait

Magere Hein

Stayin Alive

Stayin Alive2

 

Death Watch can be ruled out as I've met him and he drinks beer and stuff. Football Fan rarely clocks in these days, Hein hasn't been seen for over a year and I'm not sure that Stayin Alive has managed to achieve his stated aim, even at the second attempt. I assume GRMod is a spare for the GR who also hasn't been down for a while and, well, it couldn't possibly be How Crabs Walk (bugger, that swear filter again) could it? Could it? I couldn't swear to it (and that's the problem). Say it ain't so.

 

I really do not want to get into the debate over swear filters etc, I'm afraid most of this thread has passed me by over the last few days as I've had a real change in my circumstances and for the better, it was only that another mod PM'ed me and told me that the mods were being called fools that brought it to my attention, yes I admit we can be, I hold my hands up to major tinkering in certain annoying peoples sigs and I remember when the DL had an intake of mods back in August 2005 lots of sigs were tinkered with, mine certainly was and my real name appeared on it for a few days as it's a Marillion song (and no I am not called Kayleigh ) and to this day TLC still thinks stilt walking is my hobby . I do object to being classed as a fool of any variety though, for 4 weeks in Nov/Dec last year we had a massive amount of spammers hitting this web forum, it was constant and if those threads hadn't been removed the threads you all enjoy would have been buried under an uncountable number of threads advertising how to get your dick hard, give her the perfect orgasm etc. I spent far too many hours on here deleting post after post and banning the spammers at all times of the day and night and I know other mods did too, so please don't be so quick to judge us, we do a lot of background stuff to keep the forum running and enjoyable and seriously, if mods could have tinkered with the swear filter it would have been done back in August '05!

[Godot 149]

Word on the street has it that the poor gullible fools (sorry, the Godot swear filter has changed my attempt to write m'oderators) do not have the powers to f'uck around with the swear filter and that only twatheads (duh, it's done it again) can do so. Looking at the list of twatheads (sorry, A'dmins) there are not many contenders.

 

I really do not want to get into the debate over swear filters etc, I'm afraid most of this thread has passed me by over the last few days as I've had a real change in my circumstances and for the better, it was only that another mod PM'ed me and told me that the mods were being called fools that brought it to my attention, yes I admit we can be, I hold my hands up to major tinkering in certain annoying peoples sigs and I remember when the DL had an intake of mods back in August 2005 lots of sigs were tinkered with, mine certainly was and my real name appeared on it for a few days as it's a Marillion song (and no I am not called Kayleigh ) and to this day TLC still thinks stilt walking is my hobby . I do object to being classed as a fool of any variety though, for 4 weeks in Nov/Dec last year we had a massive amount of spammers hitting this web forum, it was constant and if those threads hadn't been removed the threads you all enjoy would have been buried under an uncountable number of threads advertising how to get your dick hard, give her the perfect orgasm etc. I spent far too many hours on here deleting post after post and banning the spammers at all times of the day and night and I know other mods did too, so please don't be so quick to judge us, we do a lot of background stuff to keep the forum running and enjoyable and seriously, if mods could have tinkered with the swear filter it would have been done back in August '05!

 

Lady G, I would not dream of calling the poor gullible fools poor gullible fools. It's my swear filter that's doing that every time I try to write poor gullible fools. There it goes again. Annoying isn't it? It's what passes for satire on here these days. No offence intended to you or any other m'oderator.

[Lord Fellatio Nelson 6,218]

[rant] If I can throw my two cents worth in here, I find this thread amusing, and the fact that the swear filter is being used (or abused) is extremely funny. I think the majority of people whingeing about it are fekin pathetic.

 

Where's your sense of humor? Lost up your own arseholes by the looks of things. I'm sure there's more to life (or death) than moaning about a few swear words being slightly changed. [/rant]

 

 

 

PB

Eight posts since March and you think your opinion is relevant?

F'uck off.

[Godot 149]

[rant] If I can throw my two cents worth in here, I find this thread amusing, and the fact that the swear filter is being used (or abused) is extremely funny. I think the majority of people whingeing about it are fekin pathetic.

 

Where's your sense of humor? Lost up your own arseholes by the looks of things. I'm sure there's more to life (or death) than moaning about a few swear words being slightly changed. [/rant]

 

 

 

PB

Eight posts since March and you think your opinion is relevant?

F'uck off.

Now that was amusing.

[Monoclinic 39]

Snipped

 

Lady G, I would not dream of calling the poor gullible fools poor gullible fools. It's my swear filter that's doing that every time I try to write poor gullible fools. There it goes again. Annoying isn't it? It's what passes for satire on here these days. No offence intended to you or any other m'oderator.

 

 

Quit fecking moaning the lot of you then and post something that's going to make me at least smile. It might be what passes for satire but I can't see any of these complainants rushing to liven up the place. Why don't you show us what it was like in this so called "golden era" of 2004 or whatever, or are the ones that are left just the also rans?

 

Besides, correct me if I am wrong, however I thought quite a few of those words on the list were already filtered many moons ago. I think LG was trying to imply certain words need filtering before the site becomes one big pharmaceutical advert in the event that there's not one of Godot's apparently poor gullible fools to delete it.

 

I've been at a conf all week dedicated to one sodding element, now that's proper dull.

[honez 79]

I've been at a conf all week dedicated to one sodding element, now that's proper dull.

I won't ask which one, as I'm not very good with the periodic table.

My occasional table and chaise though, they're a completely different matter.

[Tuber Mirum 125]

I've been at a conf all week dedicated to one sodding element, now that's proper dull.

I won't ask which one, as I'm not very good with the periodic table.

My occasional table and chaise though, they're a completely different matter.

I bet it was Kryptonite.

 

Or Squiddite.

[Monoclinic 39]

I've been at a conf all week dedicated to one sodding element, now that's proper dull.

I won't ask which one, as I'm not very good with the periodic table.

My occasional table and chaise though, they're a completely different matter.

I bet it was Kryptonite.

 

Or Squiddite.

 

Close, Porstmoutshite.

 

A very dense element, with a high affinity to (Elizabeth Duke) gold. (and so on)

[Godot 149]

[rant] If I can throw my two cents worth in here, I find this thread amusing, and the fact that the swear filter is being used (or abused) is extremely funny. I think the majority of people whingeing about it are fekin pathetic.

 

Where's your sense of humor? Lost up your own arseholes by the looks of things. I'm sure there's more to life (or death) than moaning about a few swear words being slightly changed. [/rant]

 

 

 

PB

Eight posts since March and you think your opinion is relevant?

F'uck off.

Now that was amusing.

 

Talk about monkey see monkey do! Don't you have an opinion of your own Godot?

 

 

PB

Well I do Paul, but it just gets filtered out. And someone has to eat the tics off LFN.