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Lord Fellatio Nelson

In Praise Of The "f" Word

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Its all getting a bit Silly!

An adult forum, delighting in its notoriety and tastlessness. A forum aimed at people long ago weaned from the breast and, more importantly, a forum that has for a very long time encouraged rants, discssions, both frivolous and deep, as well as the odd, well aimed verbal onslaught at the feckless and stupid.

So WTF is going on with the swear filter?

Like a thick midget, its not big and its certainly not clever. Is it right to keeping pissing around with words that are perfectly suitable for the Oxford English Dictionary but not for a broadminded adult forum?

Yes, at this rate our Poet of the Sewers, our Queen of the Toilet Mouthed, Lard Bazaar will, very soon if we are not careful, find herself silenced, hamstrung by red tape and Political correctness that just doesnt belong here.

Its a disaster waiting to happen.

FFS, we is REBELS!!!!

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I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered by that :o

 

But I have to agree. This isn't the Ebay discussion forum, you can even get away with s'hit on Digital Spy for f'uck's sake.

 

Contrary to popular belief, I can actually hold an intelligent conversation without swearing (even tanked up on Chardonnay), but that's in real life. I like to be able to vent my guts here about anything and everything.

 

You are violating my right to freedom of expression. You f'uckers :o

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Do you know why they use the swear filter?

Because it's there that's why. If we didn't have one, nobody would say, "Oh wouldn't it be nice to have a device that changes all the sweary words into something else, to protect people's sensibilities?"

 

The problem with whomever is working the swear filter is that he hasn't realised there are far subtler ways of abusing it. Replacing "not" with definitely" or "problem" with "problum" are but two of the simplest possibilities which spring to mind.

 

The Hartlepool Deadlyboard has a number of such booby traps, if anyone could be bothered posting there.

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Do you know why they use the swear filter?

Because it's there that's why. If we didn't have one, nobody would say, "Oh wouldn't it be nice to have a device that changes all the sweary words into something else, to protect people's sensibilities?"

 

The problem with whomever is working the swear filter is that he hasn't realised there are far subtler ways of abusing it. Replacing "not" with definitely" or "problem" with "problum" are but two of the simplest possibilities which spring to mind.

 

The Hartlepool Deadlyboard has a number of such booby traps, if anyone could be bothered posting there.

The way you just said "if anyone could be bothered posting there.." gave me that god awful feeling that somebody had just drowned a puppy.

I quite agree with your take on things NAP, you would hope that a forum as irreverant as this might have more of a sideways view on swear filters and the like.

Instead its as unfunny and as useless as one normally found on "Train W,ankers Monthly" or s ummat (s ummat= copyright MPFC )

Come on Mod, own up to this disaster and take your punishment like man being dominated on one of those BDSM websites, not that Ive seen men being given a good seeing to by Amazonian women with huge breasts and thigh length leather boots.... :o

NB: You cant even say s ummat now! The f ucker is now removing the right of MPFC to a dialect. Cnuts!!! :o

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Its all getting a bit Silly!

An adult forum, delighting in its notoriety and tastlessness. A forum aimed at people long ago weaned from the breast and, more importantly, a forum that has for a very long time encouraged rants, discssions, both frivolous and deep, as well as the odd, well aimed verbal onslaught at the feckless and stupid.

So WTF is going on with the swear filter?

Like a thick midget, its not big and its certainly not clever. Is it right to keeping pissing around with words that are perfectly suitable for the Oxford English Dictionary but not for a broadminded adult forum?

Yes, at this rate our Poet of the Sewers, our Queen of the Toilet Mouthed, Lard Bazaar will, very soon if we are not careful, find herself silenced, hamstrung by red tape and Political correctness that just doesnt belong here.

Its a disaster waiting to happen.

FFS, we is REBELS!!!!

 

 

Aye, I stand in awe of the forthright and wholly admirable opinions of LFN. Swear tinkering on this scale will only reduce us all to minor acts of deviousness to sneak the stuff back another way, when we should be ranting, raving and studying terminal form, or summa.t.

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Well I for one am very glad sig nificant has been changed. I was sick to sodding death of that one.

 

Ohh, sodding gets through, how about bugger?

 

Bugger gets through too - if you want to defeat the swear filter, think anal.

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Perhaps we should make up our own swearwords, a la Viz's 'fitbin', which I use regularly at work, because no f'ucker knows what it means.

 

Cockspanner (copyright LFN)

Spunkynads

Fuckweasel

Jimmyflaps

Custardcream

 

But, it just doesn't work, does it? They don't have the impact that f'uck, c'unt, s'hit and spermbubble have.

 

I might have to go back to saying 'blimey' in every post, that even annoyed someone at the time, can't remember who, can't be arsed to go back and check neither.

 

And as for censoring mary's 's ummat', that's just an outrage.

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Well I for one am very glad sig nificant has been changed. I was sick to sodding death of that one.

 

Ohh, sodding gets through, how about bugger?

 

Bugger gets through too - if you want to defeat the swear filter, think anal.

 

changed it, is it better now?

 

 

That wasn't a comment on you Vaagheid, I've always enjoyed your posts. It was a comment on certain American poster here.

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If I really feel like swearing i'll do it in Dutch.

 

Quick! Mods! Change potverdekke to sorry for being a boring asshat!

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Well I for one am very glad sig nificant has been changed. I was sick to sodding death of that one.

 

Ohh, sodding gets through, how about bugger?

 

Bugger gets through too - if you want to defeat the swear filter, think anal.

 

What pedantically, or just about arseholes?

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As far as I can see this is the list with maybe a few omissions. I assume it's been compiled by a moderator. I had hitherto believed that mods were chosen for their maturity and good sense but it seems lacking here. I agree wholeheartedly with LFN that use of the word filter in this way is simply puerile. Worst of all it lacks any humour or consistency. If you're going to f'uck around with the word filter the first rule should be "don't." If you can't help yourself, the second rule says "be imaginative" and the third rule says "be consistent" with the fourth "don't push it." This latest intervention breaks all of those rules.

 

F'ucking around with the swear filter in this way seems ill-mannered and ill-conceived at a time when the the forum needs to be encouraging contributions from its regulars, not pissing them off. It's not as if it's gone beyond a joke because it wasn't a joke in the first place, just irritating. So whoever the tamperer is, and you know who you are, please stop being a clown and a muppet and whenever you feel the urge to play with the swear filter go play with yourself instead or take a long walk which amounts to the same thing according to this checklist.

 

 

F'uck = toffee apple

C'unt = clown

Twat = twat

Bastard = bastard

s'hit = excrement

bloody = bloody

bugger =bugger

Shag = shag

twatface = twatface

f'ucker = I have piles

f'ucking = fekin

f'uckwit = muppet

a'rse = bott

a'rsehole = donkey doo

piss = piss

pissing = pissing

tit = tit

fart = fart

c'ock = ding-a-ling

bollocks = bollocks

w'anker = Walker

s'ignifcant = worthless

s'ummat = simmit

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As far as I can see this is the list with maybe a few omissions. I assume it's been compiled by a moderator. I had hitherto believed that mods were chosen for their maturity and good sense but it seems lacking here. I agree wholeheartedly with LFN that use of the word filter in this way is simply puerile. Worst of all it lacks any humour or consistency. If you're going to f'uck around with the word filter the first rule should be "don't." If you can't help yourself, the second rule says "be imaginative" and the third rule says "be consistent" with the fourth "don't push it." This latest intervention breaks all of those rules.

 

F'ucking around with the swear filter in this way seems ill-mannered and ill-conceived at a time when the the forum needs to be encouraging contributions from its regulars, not pissing them off. It's not as if it's gone beyond a joke because it wasn't a joke in the first place, just irritating. So whoever the tamperer is, and you know who you are, please stop being a clown and a muppet and whenever you feel the urge to play with the swear filter go play with yourself instead or take a long walk which amounts to the same thing according to this checklist.

 

 

F'uck = toffee apple

C'unt = clown

Twat = twat

Bastard = bastard

s'hit = excrement

bloody = bloody

bugger =bugger

Shag = shag

twatface = twatface

f'ucker = I have piles

f'ucking = fekin

f'uckwit = muppet

a'rse = bott

a'rsehole = donkey doo

piss = piss

pissing = pissing

tit = tit

fart = fart

c'ock = ding-a-ling

bollocks = bollocks

w'anker = Walker

s'ignifcant = worthless

s'ummat = simmit

s'hite = diarrhea

 

It was the spelling more than anything else.

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Cuntmonkey muffafucking cocksuckers.

F ucking hell, you are alive!

...and a cracking post to return with.

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Cuntmonkey muffafucking cocksuckers.

 

Double-anal-AWESOME!!

 

Tarry awhile and be friendly TF.

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Let me see here...

  • fuckronaut
  • cockmongrel
  • cocktractor
  • Shiticane
  • cuntbucket
  • fuckadelic

... all seem to get through the filter okay.

 

The biggest problem with this site are the hidden Shitlers that can't help but tamper with things. They made this site...

 

nofunatall.gif

 

What kind of fuckronaut would do something like that?

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Word on the street has it that the poor gullible fools (sorry, the Godot swear filter has changed my attempt to write m'oderators) do not have the powers to f'uck around with the swear filter and that only twatheads (duh, it's done it again) can do so. Looking at the list of twatheads (sorry, A'dmins) there are not many contenders.

 

List of twatheads

 

Death Watch Beatle

Football Fan

Grim Reaper

GRMod

Heaven Can Wait

Magere Hein

Stayin Alive

Stayin Alive2

 

Death Watch can be ruled out as I've met him and he drinks beer and stuff. Football Fan rarely clocks in these days, Hein hasn't been seen for over a year and I'm not sure that Stayin Alive has managed to achieve his stated aim, even at the second attempt. I assume GRMod is a spare for the GR who also hasn't been down for a while and, well, it couldn't possibly be How Crabs Walk (bugger, that swear filter again) could it? Could it? I couldn't swear to it (and that's the problem). Say it ain't so.

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I don't think it was meant in a nannying king of way. I made a remark somewhere about how it would be good if the word sig -nificant (test, significunt) could be altered somehow by the swear filter to say something like "I'm a boring Yanker" and it's now taken on a life of its own.I'm pretty sure it was meant in fun and not to curb creative flow. If you want to blame someone, blame me, actually blame BCALum for annoying me so much for me to suggest it.

 

Ah, significunt gets through, I think I'll use that as my nickname for BC

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Yeah, but - either way - the question remains which side of the debate - admins or posters - has had the sense of humour bypass. Obviously, in the great Iranian election challenging tradition the greater number is right, summat. (It's a.......MIRACLE!)

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Yeah, but - either way - the question remains which side of the debate - admins or posters - has had the sense of humour bypass. Obviously, in the great Iranian election challenging tradition the greater number is right, summat. (It's a.......MIRACLE!)

FFS if we come on here we can't mind the odd whoopee cushion or arsey remark at our expense. My middle name is tolerance. Ask Canadian Paul. It's not a question of sense of humour bypasses but about what passes for humour. My humour is at a pretty low ebb as I'm under a lot of pressure of work at the moment - and that really is a four letter word. So I flit on to the site looking for something stimulating such as Lardy's last spat with a neighbour or the latest maudlin bulletin from Fraserborough. I'm quite happy to read some banal post about the death of the last refugee from the great Tongan earthquake of 1937 or the glory days of C'arlisle United (were there any? Note: that's been splatted now too ). I don't even mind f'ucking with the swear filter for a subtle joke but this has worn thin 'is all. Also it's not posters against twatheads (sorry, filter still in place). I doubt if more than one a'dmin was responsible and it was hilariously side splitting for a post or two, I'm sure.

 

Candy floss

bott

 

Yes it was.

 

On the other hand, do I really give a flying f'uck about any of this? No, not a bit. Now get down off that fence MPFC and tell it how you really see it rather than the "some say this and some say that" attempt at statesmanship... or summat.

 

And another thing - while I will be getting it in the neck, I am speaking for others on this too.

 

Candy floss it. I didn't want to be the fekin shop steward on this.

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Thought I was telling it like I saw it, i.e. the tonnage of posters are right on this.

 

Either way, I agree it's summat of a tea cup storm, doubtless it'll all blow over as soon as some celebrity lands in intensive care. Which is long overdue, right?

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