Your Least Impressive Celebrity Encounters

[maryportfuncity 10,642]

I was on national telly last Saturday, munching on a burger and suffering as I watched Carlisle United edge past the might of Grays Athletic in the FA Cup.

[Windsor 2,233]

I used to work with this woman in the kitchen.

Not only did this story make the Press and Journal...but also the Sun.

 

Now I can be even more angry.

 

What next? A pressure group? Save Our Junkies?

That man has done f**k all for his constituents since he moved in to Bute House, but as soon as a sob story hits the headlines he is right there!

 

(Told you this should have gone into Room 101)

[maryportfuncity 10,642]

Oh aye, and amongst the animals I have worked with I can count Sooty, Sweep, Soo and Scampi, glove puppets and heroes to millions.

[Lard Bazaar 3,799]

I got offered a shag by one of Skid Row's roadies out the back of the Birmingham NEC many years ago.

[maryportfuncity 10,642]

I got offered a shag by one of Skid Row's roadies out the back of the Birmingham NEC many years ago.

 

Funny you should mention that, some of my colleagues are attempting to fuse the DNA of a mule with that of a Gibbon in the hope of breeding a more intelligent strain of roadie.

[Lard Bazaar 3,799]

I got offered a shag by one of Skid Row's roadies out the back of the Birmingham NEC many years ago.

 

Funny you should mention that, some of my colleagues are attempting to fuse the DNA of a mule with that of a Gibbon in the hope of breeding a more intelligent strain of roadie.

 

 

Are you implying that because the roadie offered me a shag he was unintelligent? How dare you, Sir!

[Lord Fellatio Nelson 6,218]

This claim to fame malarkey. What is the criteria? Are we talking about actually meeting and talking to said famous person/s or could it be as tenuous a link as being vomited on by Johnny Rotten at the Pistols gig, Hammersmith Odeon, October the 27th 1978?

Just wondering.

[Lard Bazaar 3,799]

This claim to fame malarkey. What is the criteria? Are we talking about actually meeting and talking to said famous person/s or could it be as tenuous a link as being vomited on by Johnny Rotten at the Pistols gig, Hammersmith Odeon, October the 27th 1978?

Just wondering.

 

For real? You lucky bastard!

[Godot 149]

Oh aye, and amongst the animals I have worked with I can count Sooty, Sweep, Soo and Scampi, glove puppets and heroes to millions.

Are you saying you had a hand in their success?

[TAFKAG 70]

I got offered a shag by one of Skid Row's roadies out the back of the Birmingham NEC many years ago.

Are you saying you had a hand in their success?

[Lard Bazaar 3,799]

I got offered a shag by one of Skid Row's roadies out the back of the Birmingham NEC many years ago.

Are you saying you had a hand in their success?

 

I'd love to say I did, but I didn't - he was too old for me. Not a problem nowadays, mind.

[themaninblack 2,112]

This claim to fame malarkey. What is the criteria? Are we talking about actually meeting and talking to said famous person/s or could it be as tenuous a link as being vomited on by Johnny Rotten at the Pistols gig, Hammersmith Odeon, October the 27th 1978?

Just wondering.

 

Rotten split from the Pistols in 1978. Surely you mean 1977?

 

And did the Pistols really play the Hammersmith Odeon?

 

Or where you just making that bit up to make a point?

[maryportfuncity 10,642]

I got offered a shag by one of Skid Row's roadies out the back of the Birmingham NEC many years ago.

 

Funny you should mention that, some of my colleagues are attempting to fuse the DNA of a mule with that of a Gibbon in the hope of breeding a more intelligent strain of roadie.

 

 

Are you implying that because the roadie offered me a shag he was unintelligent? How dare you, Sir!

 

No LB, exactly the opposite, I'm implying that you turning him down shows your intelligence. You did turn him down, didn't you?

[Lord Fellatio Nelson 6,218]

This claim to fame malarkey. What is the criteria? Are we talking about actually meeting and talking to said famous person/s or could it be as tenuous a link as being vomited on by Johnny Rotten at the Pistols gig, Hammersmith Odeon, October the 27th 1978?

Just wondering.

 

Rotten split from the Pistols in 1978. Surely you mean 1977?

 

And did the Pistols really play the Hammersmith Odeon?

 

Or where you just making that bit up to make a point?

Just making a point.

If he had really vomited on me, I would have kicked his f*****g head in.

[themaninblack 2,112]

This claim to fame malarkey. What is the criteria? Are we talking about actually meeting and talking to said famous person/s or could it be as tenuous a link as being vomited on by Johnny Rotten at the Pistols gig, Hammersmith Odeon, October the 27th 1978?

Just wondering.

 

Rotten split from the Pistols in 1978. Surely you mean 1977?

 

And did the Pistols really play the Hammersmith Odeon?

 

Or where you just making that bit up to make a point?

Just making a point.

If he had really vomited on me, I would have kicked his f*****g head in.

 

Of course you would. Carry on...

[Lard Bazaar 3,799]

I got offered a shag by one of Skid Row's roadies out the back of the Birmingham NEC many years ago.

 

Funny you should mention that, some of my colleagues are attempting to fuse the DNA of a mule with that of a Gibbon in the hope of breeding a more intelligent strain of roadie.

 

 

Are you implying that because the roadie offered me a shag he was unintelligent? How dare you, Sir!

 

No LB, exactly the opposite, I'm implying that you turning him down shows your intelligence. You did turn him down, didn't you?

 

You need to ask? Yes, I turned him down. Just think where I might be now if I hadn't.....still hitching home down the M5 probably.

[The Miser 18]

Give me a word (nothing dirty, and nothing too outlandish like obituary) and I'll see if I can get it in Obama's speech.

[honez 79]

Give me a word (nothing dirty, and nothing too outlandish like obituary) and I'll see if I can get it in Obama's speech.

"Muppet."

[The Miser 18]

Give me a word (nothing dirty, and nothing too outlandish like obituary) and I'll see if I can get it in Obama's speech.

"Muppet."

 

 

That is good one. Can it be a specific Muppet like Kermit?

[honez 79]

Give me a word (nothing dirty, and nothing too outlandish like obituary) and I'll see if I can get it in Obama's speech.

"Muppet."

That is good one. Can it be a specific Muppet like Kermit?

Nope. Use the word "Muppet."

As in, "You sir, are little more than a snivelling muppet."

[Lard Bazaar 3,799]

Give me a word (nothing dirty, and nothing too outlandish like obituary) and I'll see if I can get it in Obama's speech.

 

Absquatulate.

[themaninblack 2,112]

Give me a word (nothing dirty, and nothing too outlandish like obituary) and I'll see if I can get it in Obama's speech.

 

 

Hmmm...close to the levers of power, eh?

 

Here's a phrase: The Game is lost...

[Godot 149]

Give me a word (nothing dirty, and nothing too outlandish like obituary) and I'll see if I can get it in Obama's speech.

Gravy.

[Guest Guest]

Give me a word (nothing dirty, and nothing too outlandish like obituary) and I'll see if I can get it in Obama's speech.

Clive Dunn

[honez 79]

I want to change mine to "DeathList."