Animal Antics

[Sir Creep 7,013]

The Louisville Zoo announced the death of Heran, their 16-year-old Sumatran tiger, on Thursday.

Zoo officials euthanized Heran Monday after a struggle with both lymphoma and leukemia.

Steven Taylor, the assistant director of conservation, education and collections for the Louisville Zoo, said that Heran was diagnosed in January 2022, and his condition quickly deteriorated.

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[Sir Creep 7,013]

Three turkeys that have been acting aggressively in Wauwatosa were killed by Wildlife Services this week. 

The news comes after five turkeys have been seen roaming the streets and parking lots together near West State Street in recent months.

Turkeys have been a common sight in parts of the city for some time now as they've been seen crossing busy streets and intersections, showing up on the front steps of homes and even prancing around the Hart Park auditorium. 

But some have been getting more aggressive recently.

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[Drewsky1211 4,078]

Australia declares koalas are an endangered species.

 

They say it's because of habitat loss and more common wildfires, but I think there might be other reasons (it's a long read, so I put it in a spoilerbox):

Spoiler

Koalas are fucking horrible animals. They have one of the smallest brain to body ratios of any mammal. Additionally, their brains are smooth. A brain is folded to increase the surface area for neurons. If you present a koala with leaves plucked from a branch, laid on a flat surface, the koala will not recognize it as food. They are too thick to adapt their feeding behavior to cope with change. In a room full of potential food, they can literally starve to death. This is not the token of an animal that is winning at life. Speaking of stupidity and food, one of the likely reasons for their primitive brains is the fact that additionally to being poisonous, eucalyptus leaves (the only thing they eat) have almost no nutritional value. They can't afford the extra energy to think; they sleep more than 80% of their lives. When they are awake all they do is eat, shit, and occasionally scream like fucking Satan. Because eucalyptus leaves hold so little nutritional value, koalas have to ferment the leaves in their guts for days on end. Unlike their brains, they have the largest hind gut to body ratio of any mammal. Many herbivorous animals have adaptations to cope with harsh plant life taking a toll on their teeth (rodents for instance have teeth that never stop growing, some animals only have teeth on their lower jaw, grinding plant matter on bony plates in the tops of their mouths, others have large molars that distribute the wear and break down plant matter more efficiently...)- koalas are no exception. When their teeth erode down to nothing, they resolve the situation by starving to death, because they're fucking terrible animals. Being mammals, koalas raise their joeys on milk (admittedly one of the lowest milk yields to body ratio... there's a trend here). When the young joey needs to transition from rich, nourishing substances like milk, to eucalyptus (a plant that seems to be making it abundantly clear that it doesn't want to be eaten), it finds it does not have the necessary gut flora to digest the leaves. To remedy this, the young joey begins nuzzling its mother's anus until she leaks a little diarrhea (actually fecal pap, slightly less digested), which he then proceeds to slurp on. This partially digested plant matter gives him just what he needs to developing his digestive system. Of course, he may not have needed to bother nuzzling his mother. She may have been suffering from incontinence. Why? Because koalas are riddled with chlamydia. In some areas, the infection rate is 80% or higher. This statistic isn't helped by the fact that one of the few other activities koalas will spend their precious energy on is rape. Despite being seasonal breeders, males seem to either not know or care, and will simply overpower a female regardless of whether she is ovulating. If she fights back, he may drag them both out of the tree, which brings us full circle back to the brain: koalas have a higher than average quantity of cerebrospinal fluid in their brains. This is to protect their brains from injury... should they fall from a tree. An animal so thick it has its own little built-in special ed helmet. I fucking hate them.

 

TL;DR: Koalas are stupid, leaky, STI-riddled sex offenders. But hey, they look cute... if you can ignore the terrifying snake eyes and terrifying feet.

 

This was a copypasta.

 

[TQR 12,180]

3 hours ago, Drewsky1211 said:

Australia declares koalas are an endangered species.

 

They say it's because of habitat loss and more common wildfires, but I think there might be other reasons (it's a long read, so I put it in a spoilerbox):

  Reveal hidden contents

Koalas are fucking horrible animals. They have one of the smallest brain to body ratios of any mammal. Additionally, their brains are smooth. A brain is folded to increase the surface area for neurons. If you present a koala with leaves plucked from a branch, laid on a flat surface, the koala will not recognize it as food. They are too thick to adapt their feeding behavior to cope with change. In a room full of potential food, they can literally starve to death. This is not the token of an animal that is winning at life. Speaking of stupidity and food, one of the likely reasons for their primitive brains is the fact that additionally to being poisonous, eucalyptus leaves (the only thing they eat) have almost no nutritional value. They can't afford the extra energy to think; they sleep more than 80% of their lives. When they are awake all they do is eat, shit, and occasionally scream like fucking Satan. Because eucalyptus leaves hold so little nutritional value, koalas have to ferment the leaves in their guts for days on end. Unlike their brains, they have the largest hind gut to body ratio of any mammal. Many herbivorous animals have adaptations to cope with harsh plant life taking a toll on their teeth (rodents for instance have teeth that never stop growing, some animals only have teeth on their lower jaw, grinding plant matter on bony plates in the tops of their mouths, others have large molars that distribute the wear and break down plant matter more efficiently...)- koalas are no exception. When their teeth erode down to nothing, they resolve the situation by starving to death, because they're fucking terrible animals. Being mammals, koalas raise their joeys on milk (admittedly one of the lowest milk yields to body ratio... there's a trend here). When the young joey needs to transition from rich, nourishing substances like milk, to eucalyptus (a plant that seems to be making it abundantly clear that it doesn't want to be eaten), it finds it does not have the necessary gut flora to digest the leaves. To remedy this, the young joey begins nuzzling its mother's anus until she leaks a little diarrhea (actually fecal pap, slightly less digested), which he then proceeds to slurp on. This partially digested plant matter gives him just what he needs to developing his digestive system. Of course, he may not have needed to bother nuzzling his mother. She may have been suffering from incontinence. Why? Because koalas are riddled with chlamydia. In some areas, the infection rate is 80% or higher. This statistic isn't helped by the fact that one of the few other activities koalas will spend their precious energy on is rape. Despite being seasonal breeders, males seem to either not know or care, and will simply overpower a female regardless of whether she is ovulating. If she fights back, he may drag them both out of the tree, which brings us full circle back to the brain: koalas have a higher than average quantity of cerebrospinal fluid in their brains. This is to protect their brains from injury... should they fall from a tree. An animal so thick it has its own little built-in special ed helmet. I fucking hate them.

 

TL;DR: Koalas are stupid, leaky, STI-riddled sex offenders. But hey, they look cute... if you can ignore the terrifying snake eyes and terrifying feet.

 

This was a copypasta.

 

Koalas are my absolute fave and I will not stand for this absolute fuckery you speak 

[msc 17,762]

Strangely, this comes soon after the giant panda got moved off the endangered list (to the vulnerable one, which is still to be wary of course) - partially because of their increased numbers in the wild. Turns out, contrary to internet memes, the panda will actually fuck to save its own species, it's just they're a contrarian grumpy sod.

 

Actually, come to think of it... they've clearly worked out as a species that if they bat their big eyes and pratfall a bit, humanity on the whole will look after them from birth to death and give them a life of food and lots of play. They're cunning bastards. 

[Sir Creep 7,013]

An endangered Florida panther has died after being struck by a vehicle.

According to the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission, it’s the sixth panther death attributed to fatal collisions, out of six total deaths this year.

Florida panthers once roamed the entire Southeast, but now their habitat mostly is confined to a small region of Florida along the Gulf of Mexico. Up to 230 Florida panthers remain in the wild.

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[Sir Creep 7,013]

A female beluga whale that was undergoing treatment in the intensive care facility at the Aquatic Animal Study Center habitat at Mystic Aquarium has died.

The whale that died was one of five belugas transported from MarineLand in Canada in May 2021 under a research permit, the aquarium said.

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[Sir Creep 7,013]

The last surviving freshwater Irrawaddy dolphin on a stretch of the Mekong River in northeastern Cambodia has died, apparently after getting tangled in a fishing net, wildlife officials said Wednesday.

The aquatic mammal was found dead Tuesday on a riverbank in Stung Treng province, near the border with Laos, Cambodia’s Fisheries Conservation Department announced on its Facebook page.

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[Sir Creep 7,013]

The Beardsley Zoo is mourning after one of their red panda’s died last Thursday. 

Seven-year-old Rochan was being monitored and treated for a health condition that affected his ability to walk. 

According to the zoo, MRI scans revealed lesions to his spine and a decision was made to humanely euthanize him. 
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[Sir Creep 7,013]

Clark’s Trading Post in Lincoln (NH) said goodbye to a lifelong friend on Monday.  Victoria, the oldest female bear to ever be raised at the trading post has died at 32 years old.

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[Sir Creep 7,013]

Forest officials in Dhenkanal district said Biswaranjan Panigrahi, 40, of the elephant squad was attacked by the injured elephant while he was trying to tranquilise it with a dart gun. The elephant was suspected to have been injured by a poacher’s bullet.

Panigrahi suffered internal bleeding and was immediately rushed to the hospital for treatment and later shifted to SCB Medical College and Hospital in Cuttack where he died during treatment.

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[Sir Creep 7,013]

A man was attacked by a tiger in southwest Florida at Wooten's Airboat Tours after entering the animals enclosure unauthorized.  According to a Facebook post from the Collier County Sheriff's Office, a 50-year-old worker went into the enclosure at about 4:30 p.m. at the same time as a caretaker was feeding the tiger.  The tiger attacked the man and he had injuries on both arms when he was taken to hospital. 

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[Sir Creep 7,013]

A man was killed after hitting an 11-foot alligator while driving in Florida early Thursday, authorities said. 

John Hopkins, 59, was headed eastbound on Country Road 672, about two miles west of Country Road 39, in Lithia when he struck the alligator in the roadway at 12:30 a.m. The impact caused his car to veer off the road and flip into a ditch on the north side of the road, according to the sheriff's office.

A motorist passing through the area noticed the car in the ditch and called 911. Detectives responded to the scene and Hopkins was pronounced dead, the agency said in the news release.

The alligator was also dead at the scene, according to officials. 

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[Sir Creep 7,013]

SeaWorld San Antonio said Thursday that its veterinarians are working to determine what caused the death of a 33-year-old Pacific white-sided dolphin in its care last month.

The dolphin, named Helen, died on March 19.

According to park officials, a veterinary pathology team is conducting a post-mortem examination, or necropsy, to find what led to Helen’s death. The results will then be sent to the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration (NOAA).

Pacific white-sided dolphins can live up to 45 years of age.

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[Sir Creep 7,013]

A beloved bull elk well-known among Rocky Mountain National Park visitors and photographers for his distinctly large antlers has died, according to park rangers. While the elk’s death isn’t suspicious, his missing skull and antlers have sparked an investigation. 

Park officials say the elk, commonly referred to as Kahuna, Bruno, or Big Thirds, is believed to have died of natural causes earlier this year. There had been reports that Kahuna was injured during the mating season last year, and was very underweight in February.

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[Sir Creep 7,013]

Teddy Bear, the terminally ill North Myrtle Beach Humane Society dog who charmed the Grand Strand with his bucket list has died.

North Myrtle Beach Humane Society announced Teddy Bear’s death Tuesday night.

Teddy was abandoned in the front yard of NMBHS in July 2021 at the age of 15.  He had a tumor, which the vet determined was terminal cancer and inoperable.

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[Sir Creep 7,013]

Himalayan bear ‘Akash’ has died in Nandankanan zoological park on Tuesday.

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[Sir Creep 7,013]

Millions of bees bound for Alaska died on a Delta Air Lines flight after the plane was left on the tarmac in Atlanta, Georgia, following a diversion. 

Alaska Public Media (APM) reported on Wednesday that a Delta plane carrying a shipment of around 5 million bees bound for Anchorage, Alaska, was forced to reroute to Atlanta. Most of the bees died in the Georgia city.

The shipment of 200 crates, ordered by Sarah McElrea of Sarah's Alaska Honey on behalf of 300 Alaskan beekeepers, carried 800 pounds of bees and was worth an estimated $48,000.
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[Sir Creep 7,013]

Bubble Butt, a green sea turtle who found fame after he survived a 1989 boat strike, died at a turtle hospital in the Florida Keys. 

He was about 35 years old and known across the world for his resilience, his personality — and that name. 

The cause of death is likely connected to the spinal injury he suffered from the boat strike.

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[msc 17,762]

They have specific turtle hospitals?

[Sir Creep 7,013]

The Riverbanks Zoo & Garden in Columbia, South Carolina, announced that Sundance the grizzly bear died Saturday following a decline in his health.

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[Sir Creep 7,013]

Smithsonian National Zoo staff found something no zookeeper ever wants to find when checking in on the flamingo flock on Monday morning: officials said 25 flamingos and one Northern pintail duck were killed after a wild fox broke in.

Staff found the dead flamingos early in the morning on Monday and saw the fox, who escaped, in the outdoor flamingo yards. The surviving flamingos were moved into a barn, and the ducks were moved to a “covered, secure outdoor space.” Three injured flamingos were taken to the zoo’s vet for treatments.
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[Planetist 115]

Mikko-meriahven, apparently a beloved fish in Helsinki has died at 17. Not being from the area, I've never heard of the lad but others seem to be mourning him.

[Sir Creep 7,013]

A four-day-old baby girl had rats nibbling at her hands, feet and head at Maternity and Child Unit in Jharkhand’s Giridih, promoting the hospital authorities to order a probe, suspend an ANM and fire two GNMs and a cleaner. The baby girl, who was born on Friday, has been shifted to Patliputra Medical College & Hospital (PMCH) at Dhanbad, on Monday where she is battling for life currently.
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[Sir Creep 7,013]

A woman visiting Yellowstone National Park died after a bison gored her and tossed her into the air, park officials said Tuesday.

The 25-year-old woman, who was visiting from Ohio, was not identified in a news release from the National Park Service.
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