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I'm 90% certain these two comments were meant to be funny in isolation but together they're hilarious.

Rap producer Suge Knight has been shot http://www.tmz.com/2014/08/24/suge-knight-shot-stabbed-one-oak-outside-club-ambulance-hospital/

Prince Philip died?

Another fantastic miss for DL, bravo to whoever it was on the committee who said "let's drop him" in place of individuals like James Randi and Tony Bennett who are in fine health. Especially given that there were repeated reports of ill health and a major hospitalisation last year. How many more misses than hits are we on now?

Toast, Whoam and Rotten Ali all score 235 points with Richard Attenborough's departure; resulting in a new leader.. Rotten Ali 1225 points Captain Chorizo 1164 points Death Impends 826 points Whoam 955 points Toast 928 points Estuarian Float 618 points US Funeral Director 530 points the_engineer 513 points maryportfuncity 482 points Book 386 points The Unknown Man 275 points msc 0 points

What a lovely story! It's actually your fault though for jogging in a busy shopping area, you sweaty selfish twat... Oddly I wouldn't have thought keeping fit was your kind of thing going by your posts, Josephstarboarddullhamlet. Oh well. Who said owt about a busy shopping area? We're talking idyllic old worldly village green with a quaint row of shops including a newsagent. Horses, power walkers, lycra clad cyclists and joggers are a common sight and the green hosts regular cricket. Seriously, a fitting place for the voice of Little Britain to buy a paper.

Leonard Cohen releasing a new album, due out Sept 23rd(if you're in the US) or Sept 22nd (in the UK)

What a lovely story! It's actually your fault though for jogging in a busy shopping area, you sweaty selfish twat... Oddly I wouldn't have thought keeping fit was your kind of thing going by your posts, Josephstarboarddullhamlet. Oh well.

He probably could, but when I lived in London I'd often see celebs taking the bus or the tube. Among many that I'd see were Christopher Biggins, Mark Wing-Davey, Henry Kelly, Windsor Davis, Tom Baker, and Roger McGough I'm so sorry you had to be in the same vicinity as some of those people for however long or short a time it was. Windsor Davis, Tom Baker and Roger McGough were quite pleasant to talk to. Henry Kelly was a bit of an annoying twat. I think he expected more people to recognise him. Tom Baker is a real character. I once almost collided with him whilst out jogging. His bad, he walked out of a newsagents, opened his paper and stopped dead on the pavement oblivious of anyone else. He was also a regular in the local Tesco cafe for a while where he'd happily chat to anyone.

"All this depite being death from the age of eight. She died aged 101." Kathleen Ollerenshaw must have been a busy grim reaper with all that time in service, who's replacing her?

Pished, high, mid-life crisis? Answers on a postcard please.