Mr Stats

I used to work with Dick Feast - i could never keep a straight face

We just need to tickle him along until the end of the year. He's 96 and they are coming after his money. Might as well give up surely.

Hello I am shocked and appalled that Zsa Zsa Gabor is not in this year's list. Difficult to believe but she is still alive and on husband number nine. Surely time she was reconsidered for the list Mr Reaper. Mr Stats

I worked with a guy called Richard Feast - but everyone called him Dick. I couldn't keep a straight face or is it only me that finds that funny.

Hello Possibly a bit early in proceedings for my annual post, but I've just been reminiscing about Roddy's finest film moment when he starred in a terrific post-nuclear trash film "Hell come to Frogtown" in which (I think) he had to rescue unsullied vestal virgins and return them intact in order to save the future of mankind. I cannot believe there was never a sequel. Maybe now he'll get one made. Mr Stats

Hello and a happy thingummy time to you all I'd just like to confirm that Morph and Chas are indeed dead - I was at their funeral a few weeks ago (much delayed as the autopsy took forever). Anyway it was an emotional affair and one that will live long in the memory. Still waiting for plans for a retrospective on BBC4 Mr Stats (now averaging one post per year)

While it's difficult to argue with Grim Reaper's cherished memories of the Lady Di domino effect, I personally remember fondly Roy Castle's passing. Driving up north somewhere with a packed car of idiots all shouting with excitement as the news broke. And I got the point for being first to phone in the news. It was all before this new-fangled technology which takes all the fun out of reading Ceefax first thing in the morning. Bah humbug

Dear Lady Die Sadly we can't rely on the winter months, history has shown that we chalk up very few deaths after September closes. Most of our remaining selections have enough cash to be somewhere hot and sunny and are not scratching around for social security handouts So Michael Foot it is then Mr Stats

Golly gosh. I pop out for a loaf and a pint and look what happens. Grimbo, old bean, we need to have a chat about planning for 2006 - how are we going to include all of these weighty suggestions? Or do we ignore them as usual? Perhaps you could pop round the family crypt next weekend for a chinwag. Ponce a lift off the boy Carter.

Is it biologically or physically possible to "literally" crush the guts out of someone? I may be skinny and weak but I am literally literarily perfect Although this forum could do with a spell checker

Dear Yeti Anyone for a lemon flavoured snow cone? Mr Stats (I've got kids - for those of you without, it's Monsters Inc) (also incidentally, I don't have a dead cool avatar - Mr Staying Alive gave me that without even a by the way - I am available for upgrades)

At our end of season awards dinner there is going to be absolutely no suspense whatsoever when it comes to announcing the winner of the "Forum Thread which has the most inane drivel posted to it by random passers by" award (Not to be confused with "Forum Thread which has the most inane drivel posted to it by DL Members" award Mr Reaper, in the name of Desmond please close this thread forever!

I don't believe it

As long as you're not keeping us in suspense for that "**************" line when ******** shuffles on

If we're including cartoon characters I'd like to nominate Kenny from South Park. I've heard a whisper.......