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Mortician

In Dem Memorial Highlands

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The chilly jocko land climbers are whinging....

 

Apparently you can no longer climb a mole hill in the Highlands without falling over an erection resembling the Taj Mahal raised by some commoner in memorial of a fallen friend so they want to clear them out.

 

Ben Deadis

 

If we are to be prevented in destroying areas of natural beauty by the cunning use of £1.99 garage flowers - where should we allow people to build their shrines?

 

So DL'ers, where would you want your memorial, and more importantly who would you like to inconvenience?

 

Remember irritation in death lasts forever!

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.. an erection resembling the Taj Mahal ..

Conjures up a strange image.

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.. an erection resembling the Taj Mahal ..

Conjures up a strange image.

Four times the fun.

I thought it meant the Taj Mahal Tandoori on Neasden High Street.

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I remember an instance in which a late friend of mine wished her ashes to be scattered at a well known garden in the south-west of England.

Having contacted the aforementioned place, only to be told that ash-scattering was strictly prohibited, a mutual friend decided to carry out her last wishes in secret.

Having checked that the coast was clear and no-one was watching, she snuck the (largish) urn from her bag and tried to scatter the ashes subtly. Unfortunately, there were rather too many of them and landed in a big heap on the ground with an audible 'Flumph.' Naturally it was at this moment that a group of visitors approached to find my friend tearfully hoofing a large pile of greyish ash around a tree.

 

Now that's how I want to go.

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If we are to be prevented in destroying areas of natural beauty by the cunning use of £1.99 garage flowers - where should we allow people to build their shrines?

I've always thought something should be done about those road-side chav-shrines where some twat of a boy-racer has pranged his 205 and the family has lashed the overweight, acne-ridden, drunken dickhead's football shirt to a lampost with a couple of £1.99 bouquets.

 

Perhaps a better and more socially useful approach would be to suspend the body (or bodies if his fu*kwitted mates and tattoed girlfriend were in the car too) from the lampost in some sort of medieval gibbet. Might make his peers think twice before they overtake on the inside at 90 mph....

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I've always thought something should be done about those road-side chav-shrines where some twat of a boy-racer has pranged his 205 and the family has lashed the overweight, acne-ridden, drunken dickhead's football shirt to a lampost with a couple of £1.99 bouquets.

I thought these more directed at the victims of said fuckwits? :lol:

 

Perhaps a better and more socially useful approach would be to suspend the body (or bodies if his fu*kwitted mates and tattoed girlfriend were in the car too) from the lampost in some sort of medieval gibbet.  Might make his peers think twice before they overtake on the inside at 90 mph....

Can't disagree with that bit... Although I think you're far to soft ... f*****g liberals. ;)

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If we are to be prevented in destroying areas of natural beauty by the cunning use of £1.99 garage flowers - where should we allow people to build their shrines?

I've always thought something should be done about those road-side chav-shrines where some twat of a boy-racer has pranged his 205 and the family has lashed the overweight, acne-ridden, drunken dickhead's football shirt to a lampost with a couple of £1.99 bouquets.

 

Perhaps a better and more socially useful approach would be to suspend the body (or bodies if his fu*kwitted mates and tattoed girlfriend were in the car too) from the lampost in some sort of medieval gibbet. Might make his peers think twice before they overtake on the inside at 90 mph....

I might be wrong but in NZ I'm sure there's an official 'body' that goes around erecting little wooden crosses to mark accident death spots.

 

Not quite Arlington cemetary but still a nice reminder.

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I've always thought something should be done about those road-side chav-shrines where some twat of a boy-racer has pranged his 205 and the family has lashed the overweight, acne-ridden, drunken dickhead's football shirt to a lampost with a couple of £1.99 bouquets.

 

Perhaps a better and more socially useful approach would be to suspend the body (or bodies if his fu*kwitted mates and tattoed girlfriend were in the car too) from the lampost in some sort of medieval gibbet.  Might make his peers think twice before they overtake on the inside at 90 mph....

I'm sure that as soon as Burberry start making gibbets they'll do it themselves....

 

Perhaps we should take the corpses and lash them to the flowers at the petrol station!

 

Personally I want to be left as a rotting surprise in a classroom cupboard for the school holidays - that should liven up the first day of term.

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I thought these more directed at the victims of said fuckwits?  :lol:

No I think it's the guys themselves - hence the footy shirts and floral tributes to "Baz" or "Maz" or Wozza" etc.

 

Those who sympathise with some of sentiment expressed here may also enjoy a very amusing site called Chav Scum

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Guest Guest

Kush in toches arein

 

Ya bunch of PIERICKS

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I heard a story - probably an urban legend - about a guy who killed a pedestrian because he was too busy looking at a roadside shrine to see her walking in front of his car.

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Lbhe Zbgure Fryyf Juryxf Va Uhyy

Could well be. I guess uvf sngure fzryyf bs ryqreoreevrf.

 

regards,

Hein

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I might be wrong but in NZ I'm sure there's an official 'body' that goes around erecting little wooden crosses to mark accident death spots.

 

Not quite Arlington cemetary but still a nice reminder.

Sorry mate, there's no official involvement, woe betide the poor bastard who suggests taking them down. You've found there Clive a photo of what I guess to be a stand of crosses in it's preshrine state (sadly, football jumpers and photographs aren't peculiar to your part of the world). People put them up in the strangest places too, years ago some guys died fixing some kind of sewer or similar and within a day there's a bunch of crosses on the nearest traffic island to the manhole.

Taking a bit far methinks.

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If we are to be prevented in destroying areas of natural beauty by the cunning use of £1.99 garage flowers - where should we allow people to build their shrines?

I've always thought something should be done about those road-side chav-shrines where some twat of a boy-racer has pranged his 205 and the family has lashed the overweight, acne-ridden, drunken dickhead's football shirt to a lampost with a couple of £1.99 bouquets.

 

Perhaps a better and more socially useful approach would be to suspend the body (or bodies if his fu*kwitted mates and tattoed girlfriend were in the car too) from the lampost in some sort of medieval gibbet. Might make his peers think twice before they overtake on the inside at 90 mph....

In this part of the world, the latest disincentive for reckless driving is to leave the wrecked vehicle as close as possible to the scene of a fatal accident.

 

Great disincentive, but a little upsetting for passing relatives I should imagine. Having said that, saves having to find somewhere to hang the football (or rugby) shirts and flowers I suppose.

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I might be wrong but in NZ I'm sure there's an official 'body' that goes around erecting little wooden crosses to mark accident death spots.

 

Not quite Arlington cemetary but still a nice reminder.

Sorry mate, there's no official involvement, woe betide the poor bastard who suggests taking them down. You've found there Clive a photo of what I guess to be a stand of crosses in it's preshrine state (sadly, football jumpers and photographs aren't peculiar to your part of the world). People put them up in the strangest places too, years ago some guys died fixing some kind of sewer or similar and within a day there's a bunch of crosses on the nearest traffic island to the manhole.

Taking a bit far methinks.

Really!? All those I saw were remarkably similar. I didnt see them for sale in 3 G's, is there a shop where you can buy them?

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In this part of the world, the latest disincentive for reckless driving is to leave the wrecked vehicle as close as possible to the scene of a fatal accident.

 

Great disincentive, but a little upsetting for passing relatives I should imagine. Having said that, saves having to find somewhere to hang the football (or rugby) shirts and flowers I suppose.

Sounds a bloody good idea - what part of the world is that?

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In this part of the world, the latest disincentive for reckless driving is to leave the wrecked vehicle as close as possible to the scene of a fatal accident. 

 

Great disincentive, but a little upsetting for passing relatives I should imagine. Having said that, saves having to find somewhere to hang the football (or rugby) shirts and flowers I suppose.

Sounds a bloody good idea - what part of the world is that?

Silverstone.

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In this part of the world, the latest disincentive for reckless driving is to leave the wrecked vehicle as close as possible to the scene of a fatal accident. 

 

Great disincentive, but a little upsetting for passing relatives I should imagine. Having said that, saves having to find somewhere to hang the football (or rugby) shirts and flowers I suppose.

Sounds a bloody good idea - what part of the world is that?

C'est La France M. Le Corps Vil.

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I heard a story - probably an urban legend - about a guy who killed a pedestrian because he was too busy looking at a roadside shrine to see her walking in front of his car.

That's handy. They could just add her name to the shrine & not have to bother making a new one

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