Mr Magoo 1 Posted October 10, 2005 I thought this was going to go along the lines of: "And the priest said you can have the last chute if you let me have one last shag" Oh well.... 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Slave to the Grave 26 Posted October 10, 2005 A dog goes into a bakers shop and asks for a loaf of bread. 'Sliced or unsliced' asks the baker 'Doesn't matter' replies the dog 'I've got my bike outside' Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Amanda 3 Posted October 10, 2005 That sounds good. My wife and I are thinking of going next week. How was your score on your first outing? Was I supposed to have scored? Poor probably... Am going again next Wednesday if collar bone healed. Would like to eventually aim sights a little higher than clays. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lady Die 63 Posted October 10, 2005 That sounds good. My wife and I are thinking of going next week. How was your score on your first outing? Was I supposed to have scored? Poor probably... Am going again next Wednesday if collar bone healed. Would like to eventually aim sights a little higher than clays. New boyfriend must be showing some promise then? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lady Die 63 Posted October 10, 2005 A dog goes into a bakers shop and asks for a loaf of bread. 'Sliced or unsliced' asks the baker 'Doesn't matter' replies the dog 'I've got my bike outside' I must be really dim. I don't get this. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Amanda 3 Posted October 10, 2005 That sounds good. My wife and I are thinking of going next week. How was your score on your first outing? Was I supposed to have scored? Poor probably... Am going again next Wednesday if collar bone healed. Would like to eventually aim sights a little higher than clays. New boyfriend must be showing some promise then? Kind of. Having fun, smiling a lot etc. Can't be bad for the moment! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lady Die 63 Posted October 10, 2005 That sounds good. My wife and I are thinking of going next week. How was your score on your first outing? Was I supposed to have scored? Poor probably... Am going again next Wednesday if collar bone healed. Would like to eventually aim sights a little higher than clays. New boyfriend must be showing some promise then? Kind of. Having fun, smiling a lot etc. Can't be bad for the moment! Glad you didn't have to shoot him. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Amanda 3 Posted October 10, 2005 That sounds good. My wife and I are thinking of going next week. How was your score on your first outing? Was I supposed to have scored? Poor probably... Am going again next Wednesday if collar bone healed. Would like to eventually aim sights a little higher than clays. New boyfriend must be showing some promise then? Kind of. Having fun, smiling a lot etc. Can't be bad for the moment! Glad you didn't have to shoot him. Not yet. He can be a little clingy. That's why I'd like to get a bit of practice in. You never know. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Slave to the Grave 26 Posted October 10, 2005 A dog goes into a bakers shop and asks for a loaf of bread. 'Sliced or unsliced' asks the baker 'Doesn't matter' replies the dog 'I've got my bike outside' I must be really dim. I don't get this. It had me perplexed for about 20 years. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lady Die 63 Posted October 10, 2005 A burglar enters a home and is greeted by "Jesus is watching!" He shines his flashlight around and finds no one. He takes another step to hear "Jesus is watching you." This time he shines the light to discover a parrot. He asks, "Was that you talking?" The parrot answers "Yes." The burglar asks, "What is your name?" The parrot replies, "Clarence." The burglar asks, "What idiot named you Clarence?" The parrot replies, "The same idiot that named the Doberman Jesus." Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lady Die 63 Posted October 10, 2005 A dog goes into a bakers shop and asks for a loaf of bread. 'Sliced or unsliced' asks the baker 'Doesn't matter' replies the dog 'I've got my bike outside' I must be really dim. I don't get this. It had me perplexed for about 20 years. Does that mean you won't explain it to me? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Slave to the Grave 26 Posted October 10, 2005 A dog goes into a bakers shop and asks for a loaf of bread. 'Sliced or unsliced' asks the baker 'Doesn't matter' replies the dog 'I've got my bike outside' I must be really dim. I don't get this. It had me perplexed for about 20 years. Does that mean you won't explain it to me? PM me in 2025 and I'll let you know. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lady Die 63 Posted October 10, 2005 PM me in 2025 and I'll let you know. I'll either be dead by then or I won't care (or both) Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
football_fan 42 Posted October 10, 2005 A burglar enters a home and is greeted by "Jesus is watching!"He shines his flashlight around and finds no one. He takes another step to hear "Jesus is watching you." This time he shines the light to discover a parrot. He asks, "Was that you talking?" The parrot answers "Yes." The burglar asks, "What is your name?" The parrot replies, "Clarence." The burglar asks, "What idiot named you Clarence?" The parrot replies, "The same idiot that named the Doberman Jesus." That's a good one. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Amanda 3 Posted October 10, 2005 How would I attach a music file thing from iTunes into an email? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Tuber Mirum 125 Posted October 10, 2005 How would I attach a music file thing from iTunes into an email? I don't know, how would you attatch a music file thing from iTunes into an email? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Amanda 3 Posted October 10, 2005 How would I attach a music file thing from iTunes into an email? I don't know, how would you attatch a music file thing from iTunes into an email? It's not a joke! I just really don't know how to do it!! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Boudicca 702 Posted October 10, 2005 Damn! I was looking forward to the punchline. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Tuber Mirum 125 Posted October 10, 2005 It is perfectly simple. A man is driving along the road at night. Suddenly he sees a little bald green and white man by the roadside frantically flailing his arms in distress. The driver stops beside the little man and rolls down the window. Visibly relieved, the little man comes over and sticks his bald head through the open window. "D'you want to buy a wardrobe?" Hope that helps. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
football_fan 42 Posted October 10, 2005 It is perfectly simple. A man is driving along the road at night. Suddenly he sees a little bald green and white man by the roadside frantically flailing his arms in distress. The driver stops beside the little man and rolls down the window. Visibly relieved, the little man comes over and sticks his bald head through the open window. "D'you want to buy a wardrobe?" Hope that helps. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Slave to the Grave 26 Posted October 10, 2005 It is perfectly simple. A man is driving along the road at night. Suddenly he sees a little bald green and white man by the roadside frantically flailing his arms in distress. The driver stops beside the little man and rolls down the window. Visibly relieved, the little man comes over and sticks his bald head through the open window. "D'you want to buy a wardrobe?" Hope that helps. Now that's what I call a joke. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Twelvetrees 10 Posted October 11, 2005 Off-topic, but all my very own work. Why did the muddy puppy cross the road twice? Because he was a dirty double-crossing son-of-a-bitch. I met Barry Cryer once, you know. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lady Die 63 Posted October 11, 2005 The Rolling Stones are in their dressing room taking drugs when someone rushes in & says "The Police are coming", so they flush all the gear down the toilet. A few minutes later, in walks Stuart Copeland. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Amanda 3 Posted October 11, 2005 Myra Hindley and a little boy are walking through the moors at night. Little boy says to Myra "I'm scared! I hate the dark!" Myra replies "How do you think I feel? I've got to walk back from here alone." (apologise in advance if any one takes offence) Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lady Die 63 Posted October 11, 2005 Myra Hindley and a little boy are walking through the moors at night.Little boy says to Myra "I'm scared! I hate the dark!" Myra replies "How do you think I feel? I've got to walk back from here alone." (apologise in advance if any one takes offence) Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
