Room 101

[time 8,620]

Cars.

 

I hate them particularly when the die.

When the die what?

 

Come on, don't leave us all in suspense!

 

Being crap at typing and always being in too much of a hurry to reread what I have just typed and making myself look like a complete idiot.

 

They die.

 

My car is dead it does not go. I had to go to work on the bus this morning (the horror, the horror).

 

Pauses whilst he reads the above before pressing the POST button.

Are you sure its dead and not just pining for the Fords?

 

*gets coat*

[Bibliogryphon 9,588]

Cars.

 

I hate them particularly when the die.

When the die what?

 

Come on, don't leave us all in suspense!

 

Being crap at typing and always being in too much of a hurry to reread what I have just typed and making myself look like a complete idiot.

 

They die.

 

My car is dead it does not go. I had to go to work on the bus this morning (the horror, the horror).

 

Pauses whilst he reads the above before pressing the POST button.

Are you sure its dead and not just pining for the Fords?

 

*gets coat*

 

No I'm pretty sure its all Rover.

[Tempus Fugit 214]

This website, four deaths so far this year and all the front page shows for each is "Details to follow".

 

If you can't be arsed to update the website then close the fucker down.

[Dr. Zorders 1,271]

This website, four deaths so far this year and all the front page shows for each is "Details to follow".

 

If you can't be arsed to update the website then close the fucker down.

 

Whoa, whoa, whoa...

 

Shut the fuck up!

 

I can understand your annoyance but don't be so overfuckingdramatic. Maybe GR should think about getting someone else in to fill in the obits/front page entries if/when he doesn't have time to do it. That would be a more sensible suggestion. I'm sure they will appear soon enough either way.

[Lord Fellatio Nelson 6,219]

This website, four deaths so far this year and all the front page shows for each is "Details to follow".

 

If you can't be arsed to update the website then close the fucker down.

 

Whoa, whoa, whoa...

 

Shut the fuck up!

 

I can understand your annoyance but don't be so overfuckingdramatic. Maybe GR should think about getting someone else in to fill in the obits/front page entries if/when he doesn't have time to do it. That would be a more sensible suggestion. I'm sure they will appear soon enough either way.

You think that people are running this place?

Its more like Lord of the fucking flies.

Im not sure anybody is around anymore to give a fuck and give the ok to a mod/admin to update the pages.

TF isn't massively wrong, you are for slapping down a valid opinion the way you have.

[Rotten Ali 600]

But the site is still being fully funded.

So we should at least be quite grateful that we don't have to dip into our own pockets to keep the banter going.

[Lard Bazaar 3,800]

Fucking hell, a fight just when I'm off out. Can someone Sky+ this one for me please?

[Lord Fellatio Nelson 6,219]

But the site is still being fully funded.

So we should at least be quite grateful that we don't have to dip into our own pockets to keep the banter going.

Aye, R.A, its all a bit of a conundrum, that....or summat.

[Lord Fellatio Nelson 6,219]

Fucking hell, a fight just when I'm off out. Can someone Sky+ this one for me please?

No,do it yourself you lazy fucker.

[Dr. Zorders 1,271]

I dare you to go a week without saying or summat.

 

And don't start giving them fucking ideas RA for fuck's sake. See you're all turning a non-crisis into a potential crisis with your yakking, guys.......

 

everyone go do something else, go squeeze a stress ball or something. LFN go and find yourself another avatar that's nowhere near as good as the old gorilla scratching his balls one......... and TF go and self-"censor" more of your old posts by editing them so they only contain a single "."

[Lord Fellatio Nelson 6,219]

I dare you to go a week without saying or summat.

 

And don't start giving them fucking ideas RA for fuck's sake. See you're all turning a non-crisis into a potential crisis with your yakking, guys.......

 

everyone go do something else, go squeeze a stress ball or something. LFN go and find yourself another avatar that's nowhere near as good as the old gorilla scratching his balls one......... and TF go and self-"censor" more of your old posts by editing them so they only contain a single "."

I like "or summat" as it pays hommage, or summat, to a DL legend.

It has been used by others, besides myself, for a period which considerably predates the time you first appeared on this forum like a boil would appear on ones arse without warning so you can fuck right off on that score.

There is no crisis and no fight.

You will have to try harder,nobody really gives a shit.

[Dr. Zorders 1,271]

I dare you to go a week without saying or summat.

 

And don't start giving them fucking ideas RA for fuck's sake. See you're all turning a non-crisis into a potential crisis with your yakking, guys.......

 

everyone go do something else, go squeeze a stress ball or something. LFN go and find yourself another avatar that's nowhere near as good as the old gorilla scratching his balls one......... and TF go and self-"censor" more of your old posts by editing them so they only contain a single "."

I like "or summat" as it pays hommage, or summat, to a DL legend.

It has been used by others, besides myself, for a period which considerably predates the time you first appeared on this forum like a boil would appear on ones arse without warning so you can fuck right off on that score.

There is no crisis and no fight.

You will have to try harder,nobody really gives a shit.

 

Calm down for fucks sake. I was only teasing, I usually laugh when you say it. Just thought you'd been oversummating it lately or summat. This linguistic fad has reached its summit, or summat, and I didn't want to see its credibility plummat.

 

Is there a real boil on your arse that's bothering you? Try changing your underwear every once in a while. Showers are also good.

 

Also last time I checked this wasn't an invite-only forum and it wasn't when I signed up. But if you really think I'm a boil on the forum's arse then get the powers that be to end sign-ups and ban me and anyone else ya don't like. Go ahead make my day etc.

 

[Lord Fellatio Nelson 6,219]

I dare you to go a week without saying or summat.

 

And don't start giving them fucking ideas RA for fuck's sake. See you're all turning a non-crisis into a potential crisis with your yakking, guys.......

 

everyone go do something else, go squeeze a stress ball or something. LFN go and find yourself another avatar that's nowhere near as good as the old gorilla scratching his balls one......... and TF go and self-"censor" more of your old posts by editing them so they only contain a single "."

I like "or summat" as it pays hommage, or summat, to a DL legend.

It has been used by others, besides myself, for a period which considerably predates the time you first appeared on this forum like a boil would appear on ones arse without warning so you can fuck right off on that score.

There is no crisis and no fight.

You will have to try harder,nobody really gives a shit.

 

Calm down for fucks sake. I was only teasing, I usually laugh when you say it. Just thought you'd been oversummating it lately or summat. This linguistic fad has reached its summit, or summat, and I didn't want to see its credibility plummat.

 

Is there a real boil on your arse that's bothering you? Try changing your underwear every once in a while. Showers are also good.

 

Also last time I checked this wasn't an invite-only forum and it wasn't when I signed up. But if you really think I'm a boil on the forum's arse then get the powers that be to end sign-ups and ban me and anyone else ya don't like. Go ahead make my day etc.

 

I am, to be fair,amazingly calm.

I am currently 105 miles from home,sitting in an armchair at my parents home.

Two feet away from me is one of those Hospital beds where my Dad is laying.

Ive been here since Tuesday doing my bit to care for him as the clock counts down to the moment I lose him.

That's killing me.

Now,to be fair,I tend not to let too much detail of my personal life enter the fantasy world of the WWW but,in this case, Ive considered it prudent to encapsulate my thoughts and feelings about all things and life in general.

The bottom line is it doesn't matter a fuck does it, its why I cannot possibly be irate here, there or anywhere ( apart from being seriously pissed off with God,a massive cunt TBF) and, so, all things come to pass.

By all means continue to be pivotal to the forum, by all means pick fights, rant and rave or do anything you wish to do here, as you say,its an open forum,nobody is going to ban you,why should they?

This,nicely,brings me to the whole point of this post.

Whoever you really are, wherever you maybe or whatever floats your boat matters not one single fuck to me and, as Im sure you will agree,matters not a jot to the vast majority who frequent this microcosm of cyberspace.

So,to paraphrase you with something you tend to use (unless Im very much mistaken)calm down for fucksake, life really is too short.

A fucking men.

[Dr. Zorders 1,271]

I dare you to go a week without saying or summat.

 

And don't start giving them fucking ideas RA for fuck's sake. See you're all turning a non-crisis into a potential crisis with your yakking, guys.......

 

everyone go do something else, go squeeze a stress ball or something. LFN go and find yourself another avatar that's nowhere near as good as the old gorilla scratching his balls one......... and TF go and self-"censor" more of your old posts by editing them so they only contain a single "."

I like "or summat" as it pays hommage, or summat, to a DL legend.

It has been used by others, besides myself, for a period which considerably predates the time you first appeared on this forum like a boil would appear on ones arse without warning so you can fuck right off on that score.

There is no crisis and no fight.

You will have to try harder,nobody really gives a shit.

 

Calm down for fucks sake. I was only teasing, I usually laugh when you say it. Just thought you'd been oversummating it lately or summat. This linguistic fad has reached its summit, or summat, and I didn't want to see its credibility plummat.

 

Is there a real boil on your arse that's bothering you? Try changing your underwear every once in a while. Showers are also good.

 

Also last time I checked this wasn't an invite-only forum and it wasn't when I signed up. But if you really think I'm a boil on the forum's arse then get the powers that be to end sign-ups and ban me and anyone else ya don't like. Go ahead make my day etc.

 

I am, to be fair,amazingly calm.

I am currently 105 miles from home,sitting in an armchair at my parents home.

Two feet away from me is one of those Hospital beds where my Dad is laying.

Ive been here since Tuesday doing my bit to care for him as the clock counts down to the moment I lose him.

That's killing me.

Now,to be fair,I tend not to let too much detail of my personal life enter the fantasy world of the WWW but,in this case, Ive considered it prudent to encapsulate my thoughts and feelings about all things and life in general.

The bottom line is it doesn't matter a fuck does it, its why I cannot possibly be irate here, there or anywhere ( apart from being seriously pissed off with God,a massive cunt TBF) and, so, all things come to pass.

By all means continue to be pivotal to the forum, by all means pick fights, rant and rave or do anything you wish to do here, as you say,its an open forum,nobody is going to ban you,why should they?

This,nicely,brings me to the whole point of this post.

Whoever you really are, wherever you maybe or whatever floats your boat matters not one single fuck to me and, as Im sure you will agree,matters not a jot to the vast majority who frequent this microcosm of cyberspace.

So,to paraphrase you with something you tend to use (unless Im very much mistaken)calm down for fucksake, life really is too short.

A fucking men.

 

I'm calm too as I am most times. Except the times when I'm pummeling a punching bag in the garage on which i may or may not have crudely scrawled a vague likeness of me old m'am

 

And I'm sorry about your dad. If I had known he was dying I wouldn't have said anything vaguely combative. I know nothing I said really did bother ya cos I can see you don't give a fuck anyway. But I'd just like to say sorry anyway cos that must be awful so I'll just leave it there cos there's probs nothing anyone can say about that that will help.

[Rotten Ali 600]

Hey LFN, shame we can't put death in room 101.

But it's there for all of us.

Mind how you go.

I'll be thinking of you and your Dad this weekend mate.

[time 8,620]

I dare you to go a week without saying or summat.

 

And don't start giving them fucking ideas RA for fuck's sake. See you're all turning a non-crisis into a potential crisis with your yakking, guys.......

 

everyone go do something else, go squeeze a stress ball or something. LFN go and find yourself another avatar that's nowhere near as good as the old gorilla scratching his balls one......... and TF go and self-"censor" more of your old posts by editing them so they only contain a single "."

I dare you to go a week.

[Deathray 2,941]

Removed.

[Deathray 2,941]

Personality assessments in online job applications.

 

How is asking me to click boxes on 500 questions (okay I exaggerate but not by much) along the sub-textual lines of "will you nick from me store?", "are you high maintenance employee" and "do you have the capacity to converse with others?" a sensible way of examining my suitability for the job?

[Deathray 2,941]

Over zealous supermarket security guards. Every time I walk through the door of their establishment, the uniformed oaf (who no doubt failed in his application to become a policeman) in our local Co Op looks at me as if I am just about to commit a very serious offence.

 

I had a frank and forthright exchange of views with him this morning, telling him that I had been shopping there for years and never actually caused any damage or stolen anything, so there is no need to look at me like I'm a potential suicide bomber or ram raider. I got so irate with the "I'm just doing my job mate", reply that I stole a large packet of Cathedral City Cheddar (retail value £3.89) on the way out.

 

I've report you to the police, probably best not to boast about your petty theft antics online.

[Dr. Zorders 1,271]

The fucking internet. Going slower than a lift ride shared by Ian Paisley and Gerry Adams. Crawling at a pace that makes an ALS-riddled snail seem like a space rocket....

 

Is this just in my pencil neck of the woods or is any of you guys also suffering at the moment?

[Phantom 2,535]

The fucking internet. Going slower than a lift ride shared by Ian Paisley and Gerry Adams. Crawling at a pace that makes an ALS-riddled snail seem like a space rocket.... Is this just in my pencil neck of the woods or is any of you guys also suffering at the moment?

 

I had trouble getting online the other day. Kept getting a DNS error when trying to access the site. Every other site I wanted to access seemed to be ok.

[Bibliogryphon 9,588]

Not sure if this is the right place to post but ill-conceived brand names sometimes bother me.

 

Superdry - great if it is for outdoor clothing but when it ends up on the waistband of your pants my first thought is of incontinence products. Seriously guys?

[Dr. Zorders 1,271]

Not sure if this is the right place to post but ill-conceived brand names sometimes bother me.

 

Superdry - great if it is for outdoor clothing but when it ends up on the waistband of your pants my first thought is of incontinence products. Seriously guys?

 

I remember the first time I ever saw a Superdrug when I was a kid, I already had been told what "drugs" were, and that they were very bad indeed young man, so I thought all the shoppers were going in there to buy heroin and crack, hahahaha

 

Also there are lots of other retardedly named products out there. Like the advert I saw the other day, for some kind of vitamin drink for kids called "PaediaSure", PaediaSurely I don't even have to explain that one.

[Bibliogryphon 9,588]

Men who wear flip flops to go shopping.

 

It is not the bloody beach.

 

Just saying......

[Guest David]

Windsor, I must say I do agree with your views on candlelit vigils for accident victims. I think the tradition started in America with the Elvis fans holding candlelit vigils every year on the date he died. I myself cannot see the point in standing outside in the freezing cold - holding a candle. It can't bring the dead person back! So why on earth would you bother?