Hey Teacher, Leave Them Kids Alone

[Handrejka 1,904]

I keep thinking about Norman Shilcock, who was my old RE teacher, and wonder if he merits a thread?

[Banshees Scream 110]

Let's discuss why everything reminds you of Norman. What was it about Mr. Shilcock, Handrejka? Tell me. Did you receive outstanding grades? If so, did you really study that much? Did Mr. Shilcock ever teach you anything inside the class room?

[Handrejka 1,904]

Remind me never to tell mods to do what they like with my posts again.

[Lard Bazaar 3,800]

I don't know about yours Handy, but my old PE teacher would certainly get a local obit as he's also a dreary local councillor. He apparently used to eye up the boys going through the communal showers, but I'm led to believe that being proficient in the art of perving is a requirement on one's CV to secure a position in local education. Sadly for him his surname begins with a B, so inevitably he was called Bummer Brice.

[Monoclinic 39]

I don't know about yours Handy, but my old PE teacher would certainly get a local obit as he's also a dreary local councillor. He apparently used to eye up the boys going through the communal showers, but I'm led to believe that being proficient in the art of perving is a requirement on one's CV to secure a position in local education. Sadly for him his surname begins with a B, so inevitably he was called Bummer Brice.

 

Don't forget the unwritten rule that all female PE teachers are lesbians. Ask any female in the UK, they are bound to have had the same urban myths at their school.

[Cowboy Ronnie 78]

I don't know about yours Handy, but my old PE teacher would certainly get a local obit as he's also a dreary local councillor. He apparently used to eye up the boys going through the communal showers, but I'm led to believe that being proficient in the art of perving is a requirement on one's CV to secure a position in local education. Sadly for him his surname begins with a B, so inevitably he was called Bummer Brice.

 

My old gym teacher from middle school had fingers so thick he had to dial a (rotary back then) phone with a pencil. He was also the part-time school bus driver, and whilst reversing on our street one time he went down a six foot ditch with me still on board. Fortunately I escaped unarmed, but was too naive to realise I could have sued the school district back to the Middle Ages. Ron Krueger he was called, possibly one of the fathers of Freddie from Elm Street.

[Lard Bazaar 3,800]

I don't know about yours Handy, but my old PE teacher would certainly get a local obit as he's also a dreary local councillor. He apparently used to eye up the boys going through the communal showers, but I'm led to believe that being proficient in the art of perving is a requirement on one's CV to secure a position in local education. Sadly for him his surname begins with a B, so inevitably he was called Bummer Brice.

 

My old gym teacher from middle school had fingers so thick he had to dial a (rotary back then) phone with a pencil. He was also the part-time school bus driver, and whilst reversing on our street one time he went down a six foot ditch with me still on board. Fortunately I escaped unarmed, but was too naive to realise I could have sued the school district back to the Middle Ages. Ron Krueger he was called, possibly one of the fathers of Freddie from Elm Street.

 

Phew!:-)

 

That reminds me of our maths teacher - his name was Mr Jones, but he was the spitting image of Freddie Starr. Somehow this got turned into calling him Freddie Krueger, and I remember getting into vast trouble for a) asking him outright if anyone had ever told him he looked like Freddie Starr, asking him if he realised that his fingers were bright yellow from too much smoking and c) instead of writing 'Mr Jones, Room M45, Maths' on my exercise book, I wrote 'Freddie Starr, Elm Street, Horror Film Studies'. Not particularly funny now, but pant-pissingly hilarious at the age of 13.

 

And yes, our female PE teacher Miss Millard was definitely a rug muncher.

[harrymcnallysblueandwhitearmy 1,689]

I only joined this site 366 days ago in the vague hope there'd one day be a thread devoted to PE teachers, so today's quite a joyous occasion for me.

 

Ours was a sadist (definitely) and pervert (quite possibly) named Geoff 'Maggot' Goddard, whose nickname derived from his possession of a gnarled and twisted little finger (his own). His teaching methods were mainly based around ordering us out in the bollock-freezing cold to do some running or rugby or something while he retired to his office with the newspaper and a cup of coffee.

 

Happiest days of my life.

[honez 79]

Fortunately I escaped unarmed, but was too naive to realise I could have sued the school district back to the Middle Ages.

You're right. Those thalidamide kids made a fortune. You could've done a number on 'em Ronnie.

[Lard Bazaar 3,800]

I only joined this site 366 days ago in the vague hope there'd one day be a thread devoted to PE teachers, so today's quite a joyous occasion for me.

 

Ours was a sadist (definitely) and pervert (quite possibly) named Geoff 'Maggot' Goddard, whose nickname derived from his possession of a gnarled and twisted little finger (his own). His teaching methods were mainly based around ordering us out in the bollock-freezing cold to do some running or rugby or something while he retired to his office with the newspaper and a cup of coffee.

 

Happiest days of my life.

 

 

Hurrah! To go slightly off topic, there are always teachers with a little freakish quirk! We were lucky - we had an abundance of spacky tutors. One was Mr Sandquest, the metalwork teacher, who had a wart on his tongue and would flick it out like a snake whilst saying in his Yorkshire accent 'Are ya with me?'.

 

Another was Mr Ferris, the pottery teacher, who lost one of his fingers in, I think, a clay-pot-turning-thing accident - he looked like Captain Caveman and had a big dusty beard which he was always caressing with his three remaining fingers, and in the summer he would come up behind you on the pretext of looking at your work but was in actual fact looking down your shirt. Allegedly.

 

Miss Lush (it's true) the science teacher, who allegedly had a wooden breast. So of course we would always say 'Miss Lush, wooden-tit be funny if.....'

 

And finally, limping Mrs Asplin. Who had a limp. Nothing more. But an opportunity for much piss-taking nonetheless.

[Windsor 2,233]

A male PE teacher at my school used to 'accidentally' walk into changing rooms while people (boys or girls) were getting changed.

This earned him the nickname 'Poofy Lou'.

 

Poofy Lou later 'retired' after pushing a girl in to a wall before locking her in a cupboard...

[maryportfuncity 10,661]

Re former PE teachers, how many would gain national obits?

 

Michael Knighton probably, though there'll be no mistaking his death as Carlisle United fans start dancing in the street.

 

How many other famous persons are former PE teachers?

[Lard Bazaar 3,800]

Re former PE teachers, how many would gain national obits?

 

Michael Knighton probably, though there'll be no mistaking his death as Carlisle United fans start dancing in the street.

 

How many other famous persons are former PE teachers?

 

 

Howard Wilkinson used to be a PE teacher, I'm reliably informed by some obscure web forum

[Handrejka 1,904]

Re former PE teachers, how many would gain national obits?

 

Michael Knighton probably, though there'll be no mistaking his death as Carlisle United fans start dancing in the street.

 

How many other famous persons are former PE teachers?

 

One or both of Hale and Pace

[Tuber Mirum 125]

Don't forget the unwritten rule that all female PE teachers are lesbians. Ask any female in the UK, they are bound to have had the same urban myths at their school.

 

My mate's mum was a PE teacher.

 

I'll ask him.

[Lady Grendel 139]

I would imagine this "PE teacher" would get an obit .

 

[VSBfromH 74]

Mick Jagger's Dad, who died in 2006 and I seem to recall got a mention herein, was formerly a PE teacher.

[maryportfuncity 10,661]

Mick Jagger's Dad, who died in 2006 and I seem to recall got a mention herein, was formerly a PE teacher.

 

Yeah, I think it was me who outed him as a former PE teacher. Dame Kelly Holmes was a fitness instructor in the army. No sign of ill health where she's concerned mind.

[Mr Macabre 0]

I teach Religious Education, I hope that this site is still running in many years time (im only 27 so am hoping to be around for a long time) and that I get a mention on this thread when I finnaly shuffle off. It would be such an honour!

[maryportfuncity 10,661]

I teach Religious Education, I hope that this site is still running in many years time (im only 27 so am hoping to be around for a long time) and that I get a mention on this thread when I finnaly shuffle off. It would be such an honour!

 

 

Tell ALL your friends about it, that'll doubtless swell the numbers and allow someone to keep tabs on your progress in terms of confronting your own mortality. Either that or get mega-famous and ensure we ALL keep tabs on your mortality.

[Lady Grendel 139]

I teach Religious Education, I hope that this site is still running in many years time (im only 27 so am hoping to be around for a long time) and that I get a mention on this thread when I finnaly shuffle off. It would be such an honour!

 

Hard subject to teach Mr.Macabre and thankless too. I remember my RE teacher, Mrs. Logan, a woman who should have been getting her blue rinses at the local hairdresser while she flashed photos of her grandkids around, instead she was getting repeatedly abused by hormonal 12 - 16 year olds. Some of her classses were mayhem, in fact a lot of them were, her blackboard had permanent marks from pupils spitting up the biggest 'greeners' they could muster, poor woman had a nervous breakdown when I was in 3rd year, I doubt she recovered, yet at the same time she sometimes held a class in thrall, maybe just one class that she got through to or maybe a few, she read books to them, instead of the bible she read 'The Cross and The Switchblade'and 'Run Baby Run', the kids were more interested in the 'exotic' New York gangs, but it was a different world then. I have both books in my house and they are well worth reading. She was reading my class 'Bridge over the River Kwai', when she went on a 'sabbatical' and I have yet to read the end of it, I wonder if I ever will. I'm sure she is long dead now.

[TAFKAG 70]

I teach Religious Education, I hope that this site is still running in many years time (im only 27 so am hoping to be around for a long time) and that I get a mention on this thread when I finnaly shuffle off. It would be such an honour!

Just as long as you don't teach English.

[honez 79]

I teach Religious Education, I hope that this site is still running in many years time (im only 27 so am hoping to be around for a long time) and that I get a mention on this thread when I finnaly shuffle off. It would be such an honour!

Just as long as you don't teach English.

Ditto to you TAFKAG -- there's nothing wrong with years.

[TAFKAG 70]

I teach Religious Education, I hope that this site is still running in many years time (im only 27 so am hoping to be around for a long time) and that I get a mention on this thread when I finnaly shuffle off. It would be such an honour!

Just as long as you don't teach English.

Ditto to you TAFKAG -- there's nothing wrong with years.

 

Oh, the hypocracy... Let's call it a draw, Jermaine.

[honez 79]

I teach Religious Education, I hope that this site is still running in many years time (im only 27 so am hoping to be around for a long time) and that I get a mention on this thread when I finnaly shuffle off. It would be such an honour!

Just as long as you don't teach English.

Ditto to you TAFKAG -- there's nothing wrong with years.

Oh, the hypocracy... Let's call it a draw, Jermaine.

You obviously missed the point of that and this post entirely, which, quite ironically, proves it.