Are We All To Die When CERN Sort Themselves Out?

[Monoclinic 39]

I better not tell anyone about the seminar I attended today about, amongst other things, a megajoule laser (cue Dr. Evil) commisioned by a French nuclear energy authority. Now that they've stopped blowing up atolls they have had to turn their attention to blowing up Gironde. They hope to replicate some fusion reactions carried out in stars, reactions which, incidentally or not, are not too dissimilar to those which would be unleashed should a submarine or two collide and accidentally deploy their nuclear weapons. There, whoever said scientist's don't use plain English?

[Guest Guest]

If a mod finds a more appropriate thread, please move this:

 

Are we all to die, or are we just ill?

[honez 79]

If a mod finds a more appropriate thread, please move this:

 

Are we all to die, or are we just ill?

"Common treatments for hysterical women, and they were invariably women, included opium, the removal of the clitoris and incarceration."

[Monoclinic 39]

If a mod finds a more appropriate thread, please move this:

 

Are we all to die, or are we just ill?

"Common treatments for hysterical women, and they were invariably women, included opium, the removal of the clitoris and incarceration."

 

What about the old fashioned pelvic massage treatment?

 

Since ancient times women considered to be suffering from hysteria would sometimes undergo "pelvic massage" manual stimulation of the anterior wall of the vagina by the doctor until the patient experienced "hysterical paroxysm".

[Terminator 13]

If a mod finds a more appropriate thread, please move this:

 

Are we all to die, or are we just ill?

"Common treatments for hysterical women, and they were invariably women, included opium, the removal of the clitoris and incarceration."

 

What about the old fashioned pelvic massage treatment?

 

Since ancient times women considered to be suffering from hysteria would sometimes undergo "pelvic massage" manual stimulation of the anterior wall of the vagina by the doctor until the patient experienced "hysterical paroxysm".

 

Hysteria is derived from the Ancient Greek for "uterus".

[Dia de los Muertos 7]

If a mod finds a more appropriate thread, please move this:

 

Are we all to die, or are we just ill?

"Common treatments for hysterical women, and they were invariably women, included opium, the removal of the clitoris and incarceration."

I'll take the Opium, please. Not a bad option, when you consider the others!

[Monoclinic 39]

Sacrebleu, Allahu Akbar alors!

[Guest Davy Jones' Locker]

Time travelling particle may be sabotaging the Large Hadron Collider to prevent its own detection in the future say mad/eminent scientists....

 

 

 

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/science/science...own-future.html

 

 

SOME READER COMMENTS HERE ARE HILARIOUS:

http://www.newscientist.com/blogs/shortsha...-higgs-sab.html

 

 

 

 

 

... or it could just be an extremely complex piece of machinery is having some teething problems.

[honez 79]

Blow the dust off and fire her up. Here we go again this weekend.

Yay, a fresh batch of tepid custard coming right up.

[Paul Bearer 6,100]

Bang?

[Magere Hein 1,400]

Bang?

Prehaps even:

BANG!

 

regards,

Hein (niet bang)

[Monoclinic 39]

Bang?

Prehaps even:

BANG!

 

regards,

Hein (niet bang)

 

Perhaps even:

BANG!

[Magere Hein 1,400]

Bang?

Prehaps even:

BANG!

Perhaps even:

BANG!

Those are the worst.

 

regards,

Hein

[honez 79]

Atom smasher records first high-energy collisions

"They recorded a handful of collisions, and one of them looks quite nice, so it's on their web site," she [Christine Sutton from CERN] said."

[Cowboy Ronnie 78]

Apparently they managed to plug it back in and it's working again. Not that we, or the people who work there, would know the difference. Except for the electricity bills, apparently. Is it too late to invest in Energie Geneve stocks?

 

A once again going con-cern

[Cowboy Ronnie 78]

...and it's going to close again, for up to a year. Something about quenches.

 

LHC needs some TLC

 

Not that it will make the slightest bit of difference to anyone except the scientists robbing us all blind by taking a salary off it. After all, it's just an empty tube.

[Josco 49]

...and it's going to close again, for up to a year. Something about quenches.

 

LHC needs some TLC

 

Not that it will make the slightest bit of difference to anyone except the scientists robbing us all blind by taking a salary off it. After all, it's just an empty tube.

Is it an empty tube? I thought it had a vacuum in it, a Dyson or Hoover perhaps.

[honez 79]

...and it's going to close again, for up to a year. Something about quenches.

 

LHC needs some TLC

 

Not that it will make the slightest bit of difference to anyone except the scientists robbing us all blind by taking a salary off it. After all, it's just an empty tube.

Is it an empty tube? I thought it had a vacuum in it, a Dyson or Hoover perhaps.

It's not empty. In the words of Dave: "My God, it's full of stars."

[Dr Strangelove 14]

The only way the LHC will kill us is through old age.

[Godot 149]

It's hotting up. One step nearer with a little big bang.

[Godot 149]

What's the matter at CERN?

[Davey Jones' Locker 1,324]

Maybe we should be more worried about Los Alamos than CERN:

 

http://www.abc.net.au/news/stories/2011/06/29/3256285.htm

 

What happens when a bushfire reaches a nuclear weapons research centre? Find out in a few hours!

 

Different situation I know, but after Fukushima, I don't believe their safety guarantees.

[Davey Jones' Locker 1,324]

Maybe we should be more worried about Los Alamos than CERN:

 

http://www.abc.net.au/news/stories/2011/06/29/3256285.htm

 

What happens when a bushfire reaches a nuclear weapons research centre? Find out in a few hours!

 

Different situation I know, but after Fukushima, I don't believe their safety guarantees.

 

 

Well, that was a little anti-climactic but there is another story about a nuclear energy plant in Fort Calhoun, Nebraska that is under threat from floodwaters. Don't know if any of you have been following this but apparently the US media has been downplaying it a lot.

 

Make of these reports what you will (don't know how reliable some of these sources are):

 

http://www.pacificfreepress.com/news/1-/90...lear-plant.html

 

http://www.dailypaul.com/169175/10-mile-ma...-worry-be-happy

 

http://ncrenegade.com/editorial/aqua-berm-...lant-collapses/

 

http://ncrenegade.com/editorial/no-fly-zon...due-to-hazards/

[Davey Jones' Locker 1,324]

Well, that was a little anti-climactic but there is another story about a nuclear energy plant in Fort Calhoun, Nebraska that is under threat from floodwaters. Don't know if any of you have been following this but apparently the US media has been downplaying it a lot.

 

Make of these reports what you will (don't know how reliable some of these sources are):

 

http://www.pacificfreepress.com/news/1-/90...lear-plant.html

 

http://www.dailypaul.com/169175/10-mile-ma...-worry-be-happy

 

http://ncrenegade.com/editorial/aqua-berm-...lant-collapses/

 

http://ncrenegade.com/editorial/no-fly-zon...due-to-hazards/

 

Another article (a few weeks old). Make of this what you will: http://www.businessinsider.com/nebraska-nu...6#ixzz1Pk3YKhWA

[maryportfuncity 10,639]

Assuming it isn't a genuine mistake this could turn a few accepted truths about the universe on their heads. Particles at CERN appear to have exceeded the speed of light. The implications are potentially far reaching and the thought of superfast broadband bringing your porn that fraction faster...great days to be alive, eh?