Are We All To Die When CERN Sort Themselves Out?

[TAFKAG 70]

Assuming it isn't a genuine mistake this could turn a few accepted truths about the universe on their heads. Particles at CERN appear to have exceeded the speed of light. The implications are potentially far reaching and the thought of superfast broadband bringing your porn that fraction faster...great days to be alive, eh?

If scientific conferences are your bag, the boffins will be discussing nippy neutrinos and throwing bread rolls at each other on the webcam later today. CERN's website seems slightly slower than the speed of light.

**Tea and coffee will be served at 15h30**

[Magere Hein 1,400]

Assuming it isn't a genuine mistake this could turn a few accepted truths about the universe on their heads. Particles at CERN appear to have exceeded the speed of light. The implications are potentially far reaching and the thought of superfast broadband bringing your porn that fraction faster...great days to be alive, eh?

Oooh, would Dr Einstein, after more than a century, finally see his beautiful theory ruined by an ugly fact?

 

I suppose somebody will point out the mistake, but the mind goes wild.

 

regards,

Hein

[TAFKAG 70]

Lots of balding middle-aged white blokes are cheering! They've found something!! It could be Shatner's bassoon Higgs boson!! Xzandra will be over the moon!!!

 

The moment when Cern director Rolf Harris confirmed the Higgs results.

[Magere Hein 1,400]

I'm slightly sceptical. CERN have been obliged to retract claims before. What it all means is beyond me, quantum mechanics already makes my head spin, modern particle physics is beyond me, I can't keep those particles apart.

 

With all this noise it's perhaps a good idea to shift attention to the little bugger's namesake: Peter Higgs. 83 and in good health, it seems. One for 2015 or so, I'd think.

 

regards,

Hein

[One shot Paddy 1,205]

_{So why are they looking for Rhodes Boyson anyway?}

[themaninblack 2,112]

Shutting down for two years for "repairs".

[Lord Fellatio Nelson 6,218]

This was a really good thread.

[TAFKAG 70]

Incidentally, Peter Higgs, whose boson they're all frantically searching for, turns 80 in a couple of months.

 

If only the cruel bastard would tell them where it is...

It's hidden in his Nobel Prize memorial egg cup.

[themaninblack 2,112]

Scientists have discovered gravitational waves from black holes which distort the fabric of time.

 

They discovered it tomorrow...

[Magere Hein 1,400]

Scientists have discovered gravitational waves from black holes which distort the fabric of time.

 

They discovered it tomorrow...

On that page, there's an interview with Prof Hawking. I can't get past the first minute. The video of Hawking is necessarilly dull (not for us, of course), so the editor cut in a few close-ups of the interviewer, who obviously understands very little of what Hawking says, but nods understandingly nevertheless. When that starts I don't hear a word of what the Prof is saying.

 

BTW, this is exciting news. I sort of expected that it would happen this decade. Now it's a matter of engineering and, as Prof Hawking says, we have a whole new way of looking at the universe. While our times are troubled politically, for afficionados of astronomy and physics these are the best of times.

[maryportfuncity 10,639]

Fuck CERN, the planet might be in its final weeks. And - if so - my cunningly paced HPDP team will count for nowt!

 

http://nypost.com/2016/04/06/newly-discovered-planet-could-destroy-earth-any-day-now/

[YoungWillz 21,024]

Fuck CERN, the planet might be in its final weeks. And - if so - my cunningly paced HPDP team will count for nowt!

 

http://nypost.com/2016/04/06/newly-discovered-planet-could-destroy-earth-any-day-now/

 

*runs round in circles, flapping hands*

[Toast 16,129]

Fuck CERN, the planet might be in its final weeks. And - if so - my cunningly paced HPDP team will count for nowt!

 

http://nypost.com/2016/04/06/newly-discovered-planet-could-destroy-earth-any-day-now/

 

On the bright side, I won't have to tax the car.

[maryportfuncity 10,639]

 

Fuck CERN, the planet might be in its final weeks. And - if so - my cunningly paced HPDP team will count for nowt!

 

http://nypost.com/2016/04/06/newly-discovered-planet-could-destroy-earth-any-day-now/

 

On the bright side, I won't have to tax the car.

 

 

 

Seriously, what would we all do? Rape, pillage, unlimited cheese on toast.

 

Maybe Sir Cliff would finally come out as gay!

[Cat O'Falk 3,290]

[gcreptile 10,963]

A weasel shuts it all down:

 

http://www.japantimes.co.jp/news/2016/04/30/world/offbeat-world/pop-went-weasel-went-large-hadron-collider/#.VySUSDCLSUk

 

The weasel did not survive causing a short circuit on a 66-kilovolt transformer.

[Youwanticewiththat 611]

Hmm Terminator or Weasel? Who's the most effective Guardian from the Future?

[Cat O'Falk 3,290]

Hmm Terminator or Weasel? Dr Who's the most effective Guardian from the Future.?

FTFY