Significant Others

[Dave to the Grave 11]

I hate it when after a night at the ballet, there's always someone who thinks they're the first to have said, 'well, I wouldn't want it behind my ear for a pencil, or up my nose for a wart.'

[Tuber Mirum 125]

Like LFN, the general "Americanisation" of the British-English-speaking world.

Words like "Buddy" instead of "Mate"

Kids rolling their eyes and drawling "whateverrrr..." They even use an accent when doing it, just like they've seen at the flicks.

Schoolgirls injecting "like" into any given sentence at seemingly random intervals.

And while I'm at it, fake Cockney, or Mockney, accents like Jamie Fuckknuckle. ... I can't be bovvered, one-two-free, etc.

Strewth it's about time Aussie kids brought back some good old Aussie colloquialisms.

OH yes, I hate that too.

When people say:

"and I was like y'know this and then she was like that and then y'know I was like what?? and she was like y'know....."

[Monoclinic 39]

Solutions when used by crappy corporates like this.

I work for a crappy corporation and the last word of the acronym for their name is 'Solutions'.

I work for a crappy corporation that claims to sell "solutions."

I work for a crappy corporation, that requires the services of crappy corporations that claim to sell solutions, specifically because of the excellent problems I create.

 

Ain't nowt wrong with solutions in my line of work if you arsk me innit. They're far more likeable than the unknown or indeed the fairly insoluble.

 

Though I would like to add the word solvent (En) /solvant (Fr) to the mix (scuse pun). I don't know which language had it first but subtle changes like that are a bitch. Oh and those nasty faux amis. I reckon Guillame le Conker was in fact a dyslexic Canute and we've been paying the price ever since. Someone once told me that 60% of our language came from the French, which when considering experimental error, falls into the law of 57% of statistics are made up on the spot.

[Body Snatcher 44 107]

Like LFN, the general "Americanisation" of the British-English-speaking world.

Words like "Buddy" instead of "Mate"

Kids rolling their eyes and drawling "whateverrrr..." They even use an accent when doing it, just like they've seen at the flicks.

Schoolgirls injecting "like" into any given sentence at seemingly random intervals.

And while I'm at it, fake Cockney, or Mockney, accents like Jamie Fuckknuckle. ... I can't be bovvered, one-two-free, etc.

Strewth it's about time Aussie kids brought back some good old Aussie colloquialisms.

 

Hey honez.

 

Maybe we could start with "Fair shake of the sauce bottle, Kev..." or do we really want to follow the lead of a guy who makes no sense when he speaks both formally or in slag?

 

I mean slang?

[Lard Bazaar 3,799]

Like LFN, the general "Americanisation" of the British-English-speaking world.

Words like "Buddy" instead of "Mate"

Kids rolling their eyes and drawling "whateverrrr..." They even use an accent when doing it, just like they've seen at the flicks.

Schoolgirls injecting "like" into any given sentence at seemingly random intervals.

And while I'm at it, fake Cockney, or Mockney, accents like Jamie Fuckknuckle. ... I can't be bovvered, one-two-free, etc.

Strewth it's about time Aussie kids brought back some good old Aussie colloquialisms.

 

Hey honez.

 

Maybe we could start with "Fair shake of the sauce bottle, Kev..." or do we really want to follow the lead of a guy who makes no sense when he speaks both formally or in slag?

 

I mean slang?

 

Now where I come from, that means something completely different......

[Godot 149]

Key - good for opening doors.

 

Major - good for giving orders in the Army.

 

When stuffed in sentences for emphasis in news writing they're signs of a bad hack. Of course they're all over the place in management speak (as in KPI - key performance indicator) but nothing can be done about that.

[Madcow 6]

I worked in a Sales Ledger Dept for 4 years and had the words 'Finance Dept' on my pay slip. The day my payslip said I worked for 'Compliance' I knew it was time to leave.

[CarolAnn 926]

Like LFN, the general "Americanisation" of the British-English-speaking world.

Words like "Buddy" instead of "Mate"

Kids rolling their eyes and drawling "whateverrrr..." They even use an accent when doing it, just like they've seen at the flicks.

Schoolgirls injecting "like" into any given sentence at seemingly random intervals.

And while I'm at it, fake Cockney, or Mockney, accents like Jamie Fuckknuckle. ... I can't be bovvered, one-two-free, etc.

Strewth it's about time Aussie kids brought back some good old Aussie colloquialisms.

OH yes, I hate that too.

When people say:

"and I was like y'know this and then she was like that and then y'know I was like what?? and she was like y'know....."

 

Have you been listening in on phone conversations at my house?

[Madame Defarge 21]

I worked in a Sales Ledger Dept for 4 years and had the words 'Finance Dept' on my pay slip. The day my payslip said I worked for 'Compliance' I knew it was time to leave.

I hate that word. It's bandied about so much now at work, I always feel like I'm about to be assimilated by the Borg.

[Toast 16,144]

Oh God yes. "Human Resources" is another one - sounds like Soylent Green.

[Madcow 6]

aaah......then we are one with our thoughts! No! I am am individual. I will not comply!

[Madame Defarge 21]

aaah......then we are one with our thoughts! No! I am am individual. I will not comply!

Resistance is futile.

[Anubis the Jackal 77]

Having only recently been embraced by the corporate world, meaning far less time for DL and the like; I'd like to add to the 'compliances' and 'solutions' above the pointless phrase 'moving forward.' If you have ever used this phrase, you are dead in my eyes. If you have yet to hear it, I envy you.

[Abysmal Granite 0]

"At the end of the day..."

[CarolAnn 926]

Having only recently been embraced by the corporate world, meaning far less time for DL and the like; I'd like to add to the 'compliances' and 'solutions' above the pointless phrase 'moving forward.' If you have ever used this phrase, you are dead in my eyes. If you have yet to hear it, I envy you.

 

"Perspective" is a big one around here that makes me want to hurl.

[Anubis the Jackal 77]

Perspective...

 

Having only recently been embraced by the corporate world, meaning far less time for DL and the like; I'd like to add to the 'compliances' and 'solutions' above the pointless phrase 'moving forward.' If you have ever used this phrase, you are dead in my eyes. If you have yet to hear it, I envy you.

 

"Perspective" is a big one around here that makes me want to hurl.

[Tuber Mirum 125]

Obviously.

 

Like in this story which contains remarks from Billy Osbourne already held up to ridicule elsewhere. But in this case it is BBC chief economics correspondent Hugh Pym who should know better.

 

I mean what is obvious about there having been broken glass around? Unsurprising prehaps, but not obvious. Unless the entire BBC News site readership was there and could see or hear the broken glass. Or something.

 

Who is Billy Osbourne? Should I have heard of him? Is he likely to die soon?

[Bald rick 9]

Myself/ yourself (when used instead of 'me' or 'you')

Pre-booked, or pre-ordered

Pan-fried

[Body Snatcher 44 107]

Solutions when used by crappy corporates like this.

I work for a crappy corporation and the last word of the acronym for their name is 'Solutions'.

I work for a crappy corporation that claims to sell "solutions."

I work for a crappy corporation, that requires the services of crappy corporations that claim to sell solutions, specifically because of the excellent problems I create.

 

You don't work for Connex, the company operating the Melbourne metro train network, do you?

[Lady Grendel 139]

I used to have a boss that loved the sound of his own voice, his favourite 2 phrases were 'vis-à-vis' and 'at the end of the day'. If anyone made the mistake of going into his office we used to bet on how often he'd say them. I got to be an expert on waiting until he was on the phone before going in and then quickly leaving stuff in front of him without him catching my eye, if he did he'd signal me to stay and then I'd have to listen to him ''vis-à-vising' and 'end of the daying' to whoever he was talking to while I stared out the window or at the goddawful paintings of sailing ships on his wall and then I'd have to go through it all again when he came off the phone. I'd forgotten about this until today when I got roped into a meeting, along with the rest of my colleagues, with the directors of the charity I work for, one director got up to speak and used the phrase 'at the end of the day' 6 times in the space of 3 minutes, déjà vu .

[welshman 31]

It's not an Olympic year but "medaled" as a verb for winning a medal

[harrymcnallysblueandwhitearmy 1,689]

Metadata. It's what I do, and wished I didn't.

 

I'm going to listen to Gene Clark's No Other and cheer myself up.

[Toast 16,144]

The media habit of using someone's age as a stand-alone noun.

 

While I feel this is acceptable when referring to racehorses or small children (eg the two-year-old), it's bloody ridiculous to read about "the 62-year-old" "the 54-year-old" and so on. The 62-year-old what? Elephant? Tortoise? Parrot?

[Madame Defarge 21]

The media habit of using someone's age as a stand-alone noun.

 

While I feel this is acceptable when referring to racehorses or small children (eg the two-year-old), it's bloody ridiculous to read about "the 62-year-old" "the 54-year-old" and so on. The 62-year-old what? Elephant? Tortoise? Parrot?

 

Ditto, I hate that shite too.

 

But most of all, the use of the word "parent" as a verb. Remember the "woman" who sent her adopted son back to Russia with a note saying " I no longer want to "parent" this child? Yeccchhhhhh!!! I can't remember a time when I had such a negative reaction to a news story. Lady, you should be sterilized, just in case you accidentally "parent" one of your own, ya bitch.

[Toast 16,144]

Oh yes, that too. There's a magazine called Practical Parenting, isn't there. A vile use of language.

 

Now on a tangent, I plead guilty to having watched "Britain's Got Talent" (no, no, don't worry, I haven't wasted much time on it. Used the catch-up and flicked through it mostly)

 

Anyway - why is it that the contestants all only have one word in their vocabulary to describe an enjoyable experience? AMAAAZING

Jeez, there's an opportunity to make themselves stand out from the crowd, if only they had the brains to do a bit of verbal preparation.