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Who, On The 2015 Death List, Would You Like To Meet?

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I would love to meet Leonard Nimoy ,Kirk Douglas Christopher Lee, Leslie Philips and Olivia de Havilland.

Kirk Douglas, probably..

No offense to old Kirk, but I would not want to meet him. His stroke in 1996 has impeded his speech in such a way that I've had a hard time understanding him ever since. Literally, I would need a translator if a meeting was to occur.

 

For the record, I don't actually care about meeting him. Since this thread was made before the 2015 list was posted, I intended this post to be a joke (ie. 'Kirk Douglas is probably on the list, so I'll just put his name down')

 

Obviously, I fail at nuance.

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Leslie Phillips. No contest really. I have had several pints (on a couple of occasions) with someone who knows him pretty well, and he is apparently just as you'd expect him to be - utterly charming with a slightly roguish twinkle.

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I like to meet Harper Lee authors always have interesting things to say.

 

I wouldn't like to meet prince phillp for reasons

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I want to meet Prince Philip to ask him if he wants to hire me as his new joke writer since Bernard Manning's been dead 8 years tomorrow.

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Anyone of them still breathing who could be hoodwinked into altering their will in my favour.

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If allowed, what with being hypothetical, BBKing. If we are being pedantic, then Chuck Berry for the same reasons.

SC

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Guest Guest

I would like to meet Robert Mugabe so I could shoot him through the fucking head. can nobody in Zimbabwe afford the price of a bullet?

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Hmmm, I seem to have missed this one. Shame, because Patrick Macnee would have been my choice.

 

Of those remaining: Denis Norden.

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. If we are being pedantic, then Chuck Berry for the same reasons.

SC

Got some videos you want to swap?

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I try to imagine what an encounter with all the living people in the DL would look like:

 

Zsa Zsa Gabor: [Hands over a ”Survivor of the decade” diploma]

 

João Havelange: ”Whoa dude, you’re old enough to be Sepp Blatter’s father. Are you?”

 

Herman Wouk: ”I’ll probably be 100 myself by the time I’m done reading all your published works."

 

Billy Graham: "Umm, okey...thank you Reverend Graham for that interesting two-hour long lecture about how great Jesus Christ is. But all I asked was ”how are ya?"

 

Olivia de Havilland: ”Hey, wait a minute. Is that a dart board with a picture of Joan Fontaine’s face on that wall over there?!”

 

Javier Pérez de Cuéllar: ”You shouldn’t feel bad about being the forgotten UN Secretary-General. As a Swede, I can assure you that things could be a lot worse.”

 

Denis Healey: [Don’t stare at his eyebrows, be polite. Don’t stare at his eyebrows, be polite]

 

George Bush Sr: "What was the point of giving your first AND one of your middle names to your son? Was the president gene located in the ”W”?"

 

Prince Philip: ”So let me get this straight...you’re a prince who’s married to a queen? That sounds kinda incestuous...”

 

Helmut Schmidt: ”Does your first name protect you from head injuries? No? You think I’m mind-numbingly unfunny? Fair enough.”

 

Fidel Castro: ”FUCKING BAST...oh, is that a Cuban cigar? Can I try one, pretty please?”

 

Kirk Douglas: ”I beg your pardon? What did you just say? Could you write that sentence on a piece of paper?”

 

Clive James: ”Nice meeting you, mate. Or should I say Vivian?”

 

Al Molinaro: ”Oh, so you really ARE alive...”

 

Valerie Harper: ”A spin-off show that actually didn’t fail? Impressive.”

 

Maureen O’Hara: ”It’s an honour to meet you. I’m O’Predictor.”

 

Martin Crowe: ”You’re my second-favourite cricketer in the whole wide world after Jiminy.”

 

Bhumibol Adulyadej: ”Do you realize how much it would suck for you if you died before June 9, 2016”?

 

Helmut Kohl: [uninvites Predictor after a phone call from Mr. Schmidt]

 

Leslie Phillips: ”All I’m asking is for you to determine which Hogwarts house I would be in if I were a wizard.”

 

Ken Kercheval: ”Five bottles is more than enough now, Mr. Kercheval...”

 

Harper Lee: ”Did an angry mob from PETA ever go after you because of the title you chose for your bestseller?”

 

Bob Dole: ”There's this really cool thing called first person pronoun. You should totally try it sometime.”

 

Joost van der Westhuizen: ”I hate it when too young people get really ill, so I hope you recover and score a rugby touchdown."

 

Doris Day: [Asks about working with Hitchcock]

 

Peter O’Sullevan: ”No, I’m afraid I don’t watch horse racing." [Awkward silence]

 

George Cole: ”Don’t you think you were a little too old to play the part of ”Boy” in the 1944 film Henry V?"

 

Peter Sallis: ”I’m hungry. Got any cheese, Mr. Sallis?”

 

Denis Norden: ”Mr. Norden, I'm sitting right here. That thing you've been talking to for the past few minutes is a bookshelf."

 

Henry Kissinger: ”I’m really flattered by your kind words, but it was actually our neighbours, the Norwegians, that gave you the Nobel Peace Prize, not us.”

 

Jake LaMotta: [Note to self: Do not say anything that will piss Jake LaMotta off]

 

Cliff Michelmore: "Psst, tell me, were you in on the whole Moon landing scam in 1969, directed by Kubrick?”

 

Nancy Reagan: ”FIRST lady, SECOND wife would make a great tombstone inscription, don’t you agree?”

 

Hosni Mubarak: ”Let’s start a viking-pharao pact, Mr. Mubarak.”

 

Liz Smith: ”Got any old pictures of yourself from the 1940s?”

 

Robert Mugabe: ”FUCKING BASTARD!”

 

Chuck Berry: ”Could you teach me how to play the guitar?”

 

Richard Adams: ”No, Mr. Adams, I haven’t read any of your books, I’m afraid.” [Awkward silence]

 

Jake Roberts: ”You’re too young for this. C’mon, use your wrestling skills to fight off death.”

 

Vera Lynn: ”Sorry, none of my grandparents were veterans, but I’m sure they liked you anyways.”

 

Eddie Large: ”Oh, you’re nothing but a Laurel and Hardy rip-off.”

 

Bill Maynard: ”At last, my final visit!”

 

:rolleyes: :rolleyes:

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Helmut Kohl: [uninvites Predictor after a phone call from Mr. Schmidt]

 

Do you feel there might be a wall between you two that needs to be torn down?

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