My FUCKING NEIGHBOURS.
I'm sure I must have ranted about them before. They're so fucking selfish. For years now, I've had to put up with listening to their fucking telly BOOM through my walls - he obviously has some sort of games console and plays Let's Bomb Iraq EVERY NIGHT - I am not exaggerating when I tell you that my bookshelves shake every few seconds when he's just managed to hand grenade a load of innocent Iraqi children on his TV. I have tried talking to them in a jokey way about it, which didn't work. So then I got angry and went and banged on their door one night at 1145 - he couldn't hear me banging because his TV was so loud. So I left a very polite but firm note on his car. Absolutely no improvement at all. They are so damn selfish.
Anyhow, last time we had some stormy weather, unfortunately one of my fence panels between our back gardens blew down. I have unfortunately been unable to repair it yet, as (as they are well aware), I am skint. They have been making snidey remarks to my daughter about the fence. Eventually however, I have now managed to order the required fence panels, so my loving boyfriend mentioned to them that the fence should be fixed within the next few weeks, and that they would need to remove their patio light from my fence panel (that they affixed TO MY FENCE without asking my permission, but I let that one go). There is also a tree by this fence that will require trimming when we fix the fence. Yesterday, they kindly told my teenage daughter (who's absolutely nothing to do with it) that if we trimmed the tree at the moment, we would be breaking the law as there is a bird's nest in it (I did not know this). Having checked this information, they are indeed correct.
Well, the stupid fuckers should have kept their mouths shut, because, from the information I've found, I am not allowed to trim the tree until 1 August. I will at that point be on holiday for two weeks, so the fence will now not be fixed until at least the end of August (ie the end of summer) - so they are going to have to put up with a massive gap in our fence for yet another three months. Now this bothers me not, as I never go in my garden except to hang my massive pants on the line - however they are sun worshippers, and are really pissed off at the lack of privacy. And what they really won't like is that I'm putting up a 2 metre fence all the way round my back garden, and all the way around my front too, so any sun they get in either of their gardens will soon be none at all. Well tough shit, twats - if you'd have kept your gob shut the fence would have been fixed, and if you hadn't been such cunts about the telly I wouldn't be being a cunt about a tall fence.
Gosh, I really needed that rant.