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Ironically when rigor mortis sets in all his body will be going stiff, apart from the one part of the body that was stiff but now will be going soft and floppy like a basset hounds ear. I'm sure you must have first-hand experience...

You better Bayleaf it!

Not dead just in the same condition as Ariel Sharon and has been since 1990 (1966?)

Not really. Along with other things the coca cola chicken doesn't use the can as a stuffing. Coca cola chicken also has a decidedly sweeter taste although to really get the sweet you need Pepsi. Personally the best was original Dr.Pepper chicken where the chicken marinated in the soda overnight. Remember people when making these soda and or beer chickens to use metal cans. Use the cans. Don't use the bottles. Beer bottles are glass and usually break with the heat and the soda bottles are plastic which destroys an otherwise good meal.