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If a full scale war breaks out, I hope you go first.

A man received the following text from his neighbour: I am so sorry Bob. I've been riddled with guilt and I have to confess. I have been tapping your wife, day and night when you're not around. In fact, more than you. I'm not getting any at home, but that's no excuse. I can no longer live with the guilt and I hope you will accept my sincerest apology with my promise that it won't happen again. The man, anguished and betrayed, went into his bedroom, grabbed his gun, and without a word, shot his wife and killed her. A few moments later, a second text came in: Damned autocorrect. I meant "wifi", not "wife".

Hot on the heels of Kalashnikov, the death of another iconic Soviet designer, this time the MIG 29, Rostilav Belyakov at 94 http://www.ctvnews.ca/sci-tech/rostislav-belyakov-designer-of-russian-mig-fighter-jets-dies-at-94-1.1709541

If he lives as long as her it would be a fucking miracle.

See what happens when you don't invite The Orphans to the gang summit.