Monoclinic

Knew you lot would give me the heads up without having to trawl google, or back to page 5, to back up my hypothesis. We might be haemorrhaging talent (in the loosest sense of the word) in 2016, yet Simon Cowell's still here to fill the voids. As is Anthea Turner. And some say we live in a fair and just society....

It's been a while. Thought you lot might now. Did he have The Aids?

Ok had to edit this - it didn't include Toast's quote... It's gone all Facebook.... Death of Pompey, I'd have to say <3

Anyone die?

Ok, what have I missed (bar tha massive software update)? Anyone die?

I guess he wasn't up for Portilloo.

You may have forgotten to enable your porn plugin or download adobe flashplayer or summat.

Do us all a favour and die today you evil old bint, whilst the world has it's attention focused on OBL. We've already had all media outlets crammed full of royal shit over the weekend, so it'd be good to bury your passing in a sea of CNN reports from Pakistan.

Are we sure he didn't just top himself as he, like Blair, wasn't invited to his family friends' big do last Friday? In fact it is a shame they didn't pull it off on Friday, that would have dispersed the media circus and given a bit more viewing choice.

After realising the only news to be had this morning (in English, French, Dutch, Italian or Turkish) was being transmitted live from Fuckwitingham Palace I decided to head into work only to find the secretary already had live streaming from RTBF on the go, as did someone in my office as they were awaiting Kate. It wasn't even 10 am! I kindly informed them she wasn't turning up until 12 (CET) in the hope people would stop going on about it. FAIL. By the way the verdict from the secretary... Kate's dress "boff", sister "beaucoup plus belle".

Is it safe to come out, has normal service resumed?

Were there pizza delivery moped tracks and midget sized footprints at the crime scenes? Also were the bodies wearing cloths?

Maggie's not a Dame...she is a Baroness. My vote goes to Mintoff. She's neither, she's a cunting witch.

I think the commentary is Italian but the title is in French, which seems to suggest they were expelled from Libya and left to die in the desert. The fact that there could be that many bodies in such a small area makes me wonder if they hadn't been dumped there by one of the Maghreban countries. Either way, whether they had been expelled or were in fact on their way to Italy, it left me completely numb, especially those who appeared to have had their eyes pecked out. However crap you think your life may be it is images and stories like this that make you realise how lucky you are in this world.