MMMDP 2023

[maryportfuncity 10,673]

21 entrants (20 quickest off the mark plus your host and - ahem - master, Maryportfuncity). Competition opens on 1 June with the aim of getting a winner by midsummer's day.

This is Maryport’s Midsummer Madness Dead Pool 2023 (That’ll be MMMDP to you lot!)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

MMMDP 2022 - That masterlist in full (can you tell what it is yet?)

 

 

MMMDP Hall of Fame: 

2016 – Spade Cooley (Jerome Lewis) 2 June

2017 - CaptainChorizo (Errol Christie) 11 June

2018 – The Dead Cow (Irene Jones) 1 June

2019 - Clorox Bleachman (Ani Yudhoyono) 1 June

2020 – Toast (Willie Thorne) 17 June

2021 –Perhaps (Nacho Laun) 1 June

2022 – Drol (Zeta Emilianidou) 6 June

2023 - An Fear Beag (Beverley Shade) 2 June

 

 

 

 

   MASTERLIST 

 

 

1.       Sergio Rico (Perhaps)

2.       Johnnie Irwin (Bibliogryphon)

3.       Munawwar Rana (GC Reptile)

4.       Beverley Shade (An Fear Beag)

5.       Cresencia Garcia (TheSpinosaurus)

6.       Graham Caveney (msc)

7.       Christy Dignam (Steve)

8.       Phyllida Law (YorkshireBanker)

9.       Joanne Woodward (Grimgrass)

10.   Maria Branyas Morera (Great Uncle Bulgaria)

11.   Manohar Joshi. (Drol)

12.   Teresa Taylor (theoldlady)

13.   Jimmy Carter (TQR)

14.   David McCallum (Time)

15.   Rick Joyner (Spade Cooley)

16.   Hu Qili (arghton)

17.   Frank Field MP (Summer in Transyvania)

18.   Harrison Ruffin Tyler (Death Impends)

19.   Esther Rantzen (Commtech Sio Bibble)

20.   El Dandy (Captain Chorizo)

21.   Dianne Feinstein (Captain Hemlock)

22.   Alwen Harris (MPFC)

 

 

 

 

 

 

[maryportfuncity 10,673]

Non of yer half-baked shite here, proper rules forged over years of intense competition and sound dead pool management, or summat

 

21 entrants (20 quickest off the mark plus your host and - ahem – master, Maryportfuncity). Competition opens on 1 June with the aim of getting a winner by midsummer's day.

Maryport’s Midsummer Madness Dead Pool 2023 (That’ll be MMMDP to you lot!)

 

And those Rules in Full:

 

 

 

1 - The object of the MMMDP is to WIN.

 

 

 

2 - To enter the MMMDP a contestant must have: A candidate not selected by another other entrant.

 

A “candidate” in this context means a living person aged 18 or over who remains alive at midnight on May 31st and is considered likely to cease living soon after and also be capable of gaining a qualifying obit – see rule 9 below – upon death. The only exception to this rule are persons residing on death row with an execution falling within June 2023 (feel free to risk a death rower due to take the final walk from 1 July).

 

 

 

3 - Entries open at 9-00am BST on 31st May and close at midnight on 31 May. Entry can only be made by posting the name of a candidate on the MMMDP thread on the Deathlist.

 

 

 

4 – The competition is deemed to be open at 00-00-01 (i.e. the first second of the day) BST hrs on 1 June 2023.

 

 

 

5 – Competition ceases on the death of the first nominated pick on the list of candidates and the winner is the dead pooler who has selected said candidate.

5a – In the event that all 21 selections remain breathing as of midnight on 21 June competition ceases anyway and the selections are deemed to have won. It is likely – but not mandatory – in these circumstances that DL posters who have not entered will heap mockery and abuse on the 21 entrants who have failed to select a stiff despite the highly permissive policy of entrants and qualifying obits of MMMDP.

 

 

6 – Entry is limited to 21 players (twenty who are obliged to post entries on the MMMDP thread and Maryport who reserves a right of entry as the master of ceremonies for this endeavour). Presumably the artistic intent is obvious but in case you missed it the idea is to get 21 players to compete for a death within 21 days thereby giving us a victory by midsummer’s day at the latest. If you’re snoozin’ you’re losing.

 

 

 

6a – Because he has forced his own entry Maryport guarantees to respect the first 20 qualifying picks and only enter a candidate unselected by the others. Thereby ensuring the really hot selections go to others.

 

 

 

7 - In the event that two players select the same candidate the allocation of the pick will go to the player who first posted an entry for that candidate – even if the entry times are within the same minute.

 

 

 

8 – In the event that two players tie for victory on the basis of picks expiring on the same day all efforts will be made to ascertain a winner on the basis of the actual time of death. For these purposes local time of death will be translated to GMT if required.

 

 

 

9 - An "obit" in the context of the MMMDP is any news report in English from a reliable source. Such sources include - but are not limited to - UK national press, UK national broadcast organisations, foreign press and broadcast organisations with an English language thread to their communication, trade press in English, local news organisations reporting in English and coverage in specialist online sites, such as those monitoring the well-being of super-centenarians. Where dispute arises over the qualifying nature of a news source for obit purposes MPFC's decision is final. But he wants fast and furious competition and is generally very amenable to low hanging dead pool fruit of all varieties.

 

 

 

10 – The Raymond Hewlett Memorial Award applies to the MMMDP. In honour of everybody's favourite Maddie-implicated paedo scum a candidate widely believed to be alive when the winner is declared and subsequently proven to have died previously will be awarded victory in the event that a MMMDP qualifying obit subsequently appears for said candidate. In the event that a MMMDP qualifying obit for the candidate is subsequently proven to have existed prior to commencement of the MMMDP the initial victory will be voided. RHME assisted victory is only available during competition, and in the event that competition is ended before discovery of a qualifying RHME candidate no revision of the final result will occur. Similarly, if some lucky candidate is awarded RHME victory and this victory – once declared – is proven to be spurious by late discovery of a qualifying obit; the lucky winner will be allowed to keep his/her lucky win. With this in mind rule 10a has been drawn up. Given the lengthy build-up and rapid victories of past years the least we should get from the one-day period is some entertaining banter on the thread if some desperate entrant is busily digging on little visited websites for confirmation of death of a “well known” breeder of gerbils or the like!

 

 

 

10a – To ensure smooth operation of rule 10 the period for discovery of result altering obits is deemed to be 48 hours plus the remainder of the calendar day in which victory is first claimed. In other words two days and a part of another day.

 

 

 

11 - If an obited death occurs during play of the MMMDP and is missed despite MPFC's best efforts to stay in touch and/or the spirited efforts of MMMDP participants and said death is missed in totting up points, after which a winner is declared, then this death will not count for competition purposes. The same is true in the case of a known death gathering a late obit and therefore allowing some other competitor to be declared a winner. All disputes relating to rule 11 will be resolved by the astute judgement of MPFC and there is no appeals procedure (though all sides of opinion are warmly invited to liven up the MMMDP thread by venting their fury).

 

 

 

12 - In the event that Deathlist editing options or other online trickery is discovered to have been employed in the editing of entries, those duly fingered for such cheating will be removed from the MMMDP and banned for life from subsequent entry into MMMDPs.

 

 

 

13 – In the unlikely event that a pick selected on 31 May fails to mark the start line the entrant selecting said pick will still be deemed to have entered the competition and will have until midnight 1 June to select a new pick (unselected by other entrants). Should the entrant fail to do so no other entrant will be allowed in as a replacement.

 

 

 

14 - A prize will be awarded as follows:

 

i: Should the winner agree to attend a DLCon with MPFC a double measure of alcoholic drinks (pints, wine or spirits) will be supplied by MPFC along with much hearty congratulations and back-slapping.

 

ii: A carefully chosen and appropriate prize will be posted to the winner (such as the DVD copy of the original Death Race movie supplied to the 2009 Deathrace). iii: MPFC will make a charitable donation to a cause of the winner's choice (as has been the case with all but one of the previous winnings of the Deathrace). This course of action is highly encouraged and is known to show dead poolers as something other than the sicko scum many ranters believe us to be.

 

 

 

AND FINALLY...

 

On completion of MMMDP activities the thread will get lively for a short while as losing contestants and spectactors offer well-deserved congratulations to the skilful and highly talented new champion, after which time it is expected that the cooling corpse of the thread will be allowed to gently sink into oblivion.

[maryportfuncity 10,673]

MMMDP Form Guide #1 

 

 

 

 

Alan Brazil 

 

Fair play to the former footballer, this is the same blurb that appeared as #1 entry on last year's form guide: Claims to "enjoy" his light refreshment (i.e. maintains his drink driving conviction and daily tonnage of units is a lifestyle choice and therefore not evidence of alcoholism), then again he claims to know things about football others find - ahem - bemusing. May soon face legal action for bringing the beetroot family into public disrepute (specifically because the most inane moments in his broadcasts plumb hitherto undreamt of depths for utterances attributed to a "vegetable") and evidences a complexion suggesting medical science may want to investigate him to see if the current world record for the shortest distance between the outside wall of a blood vessel and the outside world is under threat. An early June heatwave could cause spontaneous combustion given that surface temperatures on Alan Brazil are considered unduly high, alternatively he may, simply, burst. 

 

[maryportfuncity 10,673]

MMMDP Form Guide #2 

 

 

 

Alwen Harris 

 

Dead-pooling talent comes talent comes no hotter than a 91-year-old, eclipsed in fame by her disgraced and deathly-ill other half. Assuming either of them are confirmed alive as of 31 May the smart punts might be on the Welsh wife of the Aussie atrocity, or summat. 

 

[gcreptile 11,037]

MMMDP #3 Form Guide

 

Jimmy Carter

 

The former president of the USA (1926-1933) has been enjoying his weekend getaway at hospice care so much, he's been returning there again and again. Could his expected massive consumption of margaritas and home-grown peanuts lead to a final stroke of the pen (or something)?

[The Immortal 641]

MMMDP Form Guide #4

 

 

Dianne Feinstein

 

Who is she? A vampire? A zombie? A mummy perhaps? No, just a frail 89 year old senator from the United States who's still serving, for some reason.

[Spade_Cooley 9,601]

MMMDP #5 Form Guide

 

 

Bam Margera

 

What will he do next? Probably drink two bottles of Everclear and have a crywank thinking about when he could have had his pick of cute sk8 jailbait back in the day. Has spent the past five years blaming Jeff Tremaine and Johnny Knoxville for everything that's gone wrong in his life, which is everything that's happened in the past five years. Will this Earth Rocker be rejoining Ryan Dunn at that great office chairs skateboard park in the sky?

[maryportfuncity 10,673]

MMMDP Form Guide #6

 

 

 

Maria Morera

 

115 year old Spanish woman, currently the oldest human alive and way better looking than Diana Feinstein, but a shoo-in for q/o action if she goes in the first three weeks of June and (almost) everyone loses their world's oldest status by virtue of death!

 

[arghton 6,829]

MMMDP Form Guide #7

 

 

Moses Ali

 

He doesn't really float like a butterfly as a while ago he was over 500lbs/230kg in size, but his ailments have stung him like a swarm of bees. Most known for falling over trying to kick a football and Idi Amin throwing a trashcan at him, the Ugandan general/politician has been in utterly failing health for a while. In January 2021 he was in India for treatment. August 2021 he was fighting for his life in Turkey with covid. Last year he had a fall in parliament, was rumored dead atleast once and missed multiple events, battling a "serious illness". He's been said to be very ill this year too. As he still holds political positions at 84 and is barely alive, he's pretty much Uganda's own version of the already suggested Frankenstein's Dianne, but six times larger in size, wheelchairs not counted.

[Grim Up North 3,766]

3 hours ago, TheSpinosaurus said:

MMMDP Form Guide #4

 

 

Dianne Feinstein

 

Who is she? A vampire? A zombie? A mummy perhaps? No, just a frail 89 year old senator from the United States who's still serving, for some reason.

 

That is the least sexy wink I have ever seen!

[maryportfuncity 10,673]

So, on the offchance that any newbies are considering entering this year and trying to get their heads around what might make this pool different, here's a round-up of the previous seven winners, the legendary names they chose and the date on which their talent scooped the prize. 

 

If any of these names leave you struggling to recall their greatness - Google, or summat like it, may be your friend

 

2016 – Spade Cooley (Jerome Lewis) 2 June

2017 - CaptainChorizo (Errol Christie) 11 June

2018 – The Dead Cow (Irene Jones) 1 June

2019 - Clorox Bleachman (Ani Yudhoyono) 1 June

2020 – Toast (Willie Thorne) 17 June

2021 –Perhaps (Nacho Laun) 1 June

2022 – Drol (Zeta Emilianidou) 6 June

 

 

Ani more for ani more (arf!)

 

 

[YorkshireBanker 171]

MMMDP  Form Guide #7

 

 

Brenda Milner

 

Bettors could use her in an MRI scan to determine if the  renowned British-Canadian Nueropsychologist is a few weeks from turning 105, or helping  someone win MMMDP 2023.

[Sir Creep 7,071]

MMMDP Form Guide #8

 

 

Sir Tom Jones

 

It’s not unusual for Sir Tom Jones’ name to pop up on deadpools, but Jones will attempt a DL trifecta: Winning Kill or Save 1964-65, Winning MMMDP ‘23, and dying on his 83rd birthday, all three happening on June 7.  Will the voters and other MMMDP entries cooperate?

[Spade_Cooley 9,601]

MMMDP Form Guide #9

 

 

Ole Anderson

 

No, someone hasn't exhumed George Carlin's corpse. With the death of ol' "Superstar" Billy Graham, Ole Anderson takes the mantle of the self-absorbed, much-loathed within the industry wrestler who has been dying for about 20 years now. Battling MS and dementia since the days where Shelton Benjamin was considered a potential main eventer, could one half of the Minnesota Wrecking Crew have you shouting "ole ole ole" in this year's MMMDP?

[Captain Hemlock 748]

MMMDP Form Guide # 10

Willie Mays

 

Could this be the time to say “hey” and select the 92 year old centerfield legend? Willie’s best known play was his sensational over the shoulder catch in the 1954 World Series where he put the “hurts on Wertz”, a catch so devastating that the Cleveland Indians/Guardians franchise still hasn’t won a championship since. Considering we are approaching the 40th anniversary of Vic Wertz death, maybe it’s time to put Willie in coach, he’s ready to play…today!

[arghton 6,829]

MMMDP Form Guide #11

 

 

Hal Lindsey 

 

A forgotten gem among the United States' religious cult leaders/fearmongers and one of Ronald Reagan's favourites, at 93 he's older than Pat Robertson, Farrakhan, the Copeland demon and others. With Carole C. Carlson (1925-1999) as ghostwriter he wrote best-selling The Late Great Planet Earth in 1970, telling about how the world is doomed. It sold over 15 million copies and was later adapted into a film narrated by Orson Welles. He went on to write more books such as Satan Is Alive and Well on Planet Earth, When is Jesus Coming Again, The 1980's: Countdown to Armageddon, Planet Earth 2000 A.D.: Will Mankind Survive?, Planet Earth: The Final Chapter and Faith for Earth's Final Hour and preaching to his followers until he retired in 2019, apparently due to health problems after years of having looked like Tom Selleck at 150. He hasn't been seen much since then. The world didn't end in the 1980s and the Soviet Union never ended up invading Israel, but I predict Hal might be a good pick in the 2023 MMMDP. 

[The Immortal 641]

MMMDP Form Guide #12

 

 

Horst-Dieter Hottges

 

German footballer who spent most of his club career playing for Werder Bremen, as well as making three World Cup appearances playing for Germany in 1966, 1970 and 1974. Suffering from dementia for years now and compared to some of his adversaries, is on the severe end of the dementia scale. Lives in a nursing home receiving full time care. 

[Spade_Cooley 9,601]

MMMDP Form Guide #13

 

 

MC Ren

 

Controls the automatic.

[ladyfiona 2,645]

MMMDP Form Guide #14

 

 

Linda Nolan.

 

Singer, actress and television personality famous for being in Nolan Sisters and herself and sisters having cancer.

[maryportfuncity 10,673]

MMMDP Form Guide #15

 

 

 

Denis Law

 

Striker so prolific he netted six goals that didn't count (because the game was abandoned well inside 90 mins). Also the scorer of an infamous backheeled goal that condemned Manchester United (where he was already a legend) to relegation in 1974. Feted with statues in Manchester (at Old Trafford - not that they mention his goal for City that confirmed United's second tier football for a season), and Aberdeen. But now 82 and doubly demented with Alzheimer's and vascular dementia and therefore well into the silent twilight zone endured by many of those employed in his line of work and old enough to have spent much time colliding with heavy old leather balls on rain-sodden pitches. The one thing sure to be communicated loud and clear is a q/o fit for any respectable dead pool. And, also fit for MMMDP purposes. 

 

[CaptainChorizo 1,990]

MMMDP Form Guide #16

 

 

 

Anne Vernon

 

Smoking Kills,so don't be surprised if the Mid 20th Century French Charecter Actress doesn't make it to her 100th Birthday next year.

 

[maryportfuncity 10,673]

MMMDP Form Guide #17

 

 

Claire Nowland 

 

Violent knife-weilding 96-year-old thug duly tasered, trounced and left with a fractured skull after the Aussie police rocked up. Clearly your heart goes out...though fortunately no police were injured and doubtless their efficient response has drawn praise and possible lucrative offers of work from the likes of Vladimir Putin and Bashar (heh heh) al-Assad. Claire's family fear her treatment has left her fighting for her life. Possibly one or two hereabouts fear others will beat them to posting her as a pick as this pool goes live on 31 May. 

[CaptainChorizo 1,990]

MMMDP Form Guide #18

 

Robin Hibbard

 

 

Faces of Meth     Heroin    Fenty Poster Child and Former Real World and MTV's The Challenge Reality Star has fallen on hard times.  In and out of jail for domestic violence,theft and drug possesion the last few years. Currently is a drug addicted homeless Florida woman. Likely to end up just another Overdose statistic in the Opiod epidemic which has hit the Usa hard this century

 

[maryportfuncity 10,673]

On 19/05/2023 at 21:17, maryportfuncity said:

MMMDP Form Guide #17

 

 

Claire Nowland 

 

Violent knife-weilding 96-year-old thug duly tasered, trounced and left with a fractured skull after the Aussie police rocked up. Clearly your heart goes out...though fortunately no police were injured and doubtless their efficient response has drawn praise and possible lucrative offers of work from the likes of Vladimir Putin and Bashar (heh heh) al-Assad. Claire's family fear her treatment has left her fighting for her life. Possibly one or two hereabouts fear others will beat them to posting her as a pick as this pool goes live on 31 May. 

 

 

I can only apologise for over-egging this...she's only 95!

[The Scottish Evangelist 15]

MMMDP Form Guide #19

 

 

John Cruickshank.

 

He’s 103, which seems reason enough. To make matters worse, he’s an Aberdonian.