maryportfuncity 10,626 Posted November 5, 2023 It's fast, it's furious it's f***in' good fun. Teams of 20 topplers posted on this thread or PM'd to MPFC will be collected into a masterlist to provide a carnival of carnage, the counting of which goes live in the first second of 2024. Points aplenty pour into the scoreboard until someone snags the stupendous total of 2024, at which point the event that used to be the fastest deadpool in common useage (until MPFC started something faster!) slams on the brakes and the lucky winner is duly given metaphorical back-slaps and allowed to claim a prize worth about a tenner (though tradition thus far dictates this turns into a charitable donation). Closing date for entries is midnight on 30 December 2023. Currently MC'ing the whole operation is an experienced public servant with a book to promote and an address book full of press contacts who didn't want to know when it came to printing extracts. We told her this would help, she told us Boris will be back in Number 10. The 49 teams in it to win it this year are... An Fear Beag - af Arghton - ar BabyBlue - bb Banana - ba Bibliogryphon - bg Book - bk CalebH - cl Captain Chorizo - cc Commtech Sio Bibble - cs Deadsox - dx DeathByArsenic - da DeathBecomesThem - db Death Impends - di Diego - dg Drol - dr Etushispushingupdaisies - ed Famous6Eva - f6 gcreptile - gr Gooseberry Crumble - gc Great Uncle Bulgaria - gb GuyFromFuture - gf Hell - hl Captain Hemlock - ch Imelda - im The Immortal - ti John Key - jk TheKilling Time - kt Ladyfiona - lf LizLemon - ll MariNisia - mn Marshqld - mq Maryportfuncity - mp JoeMoneypenny - jm msc - ms Nantonian2013 - n3 RadGuy - rg Sean - sn Sideik - sk Summer in Transylvania - st Thatcher - th The Old Crem - tc theoldlady - to ThereWillBeDeaths7 0 t7 The Unknown Man - tu Toast - tt Wannamaker - wm WEP - we WillyWonka442 Yorkshire Banker - yb Top talent aplenty in our list of previous champions: 2009 - Raskolnikov 2010 - Nobody, I mean f***in' nobody, reached the winning points total 2011 - DDT 2012 - Spade Cooley 2013 - DDT 2014 - Death Impends 2015 - MSC 2016 - DDT 2017 - Death Impends 2018 - MSC 2019 - Phantom of the Midway 2020 - RadGuy 2021 - An Fear Beag 2022 - Banana 2023 - Banana 2024 - Banana (provisional) 6 1 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
maryportfuncity 10,626 Posted November 5, 2023 This'll be the list of the lost, then - we welcome an early returnee who expected a few more weeks in India to manage it! 31 Dec: Telma Regina Bley - af - 366 pts 31 Dec: Carl Yarborough - ll - 366 3 Jan: Derek Draper – af, ar, ba*, bk, cc, cl*, db, di, dr, dx, gr, hl, im, jk, ll, mn, mp, ms, rg, sk, sn, st, tc, th, ti, to, tt, tu, wm - 363 4 Jan: Glynis Johns – bg, cl, ll, ti - 362 5 Jan: Mario Zagallo – f6, n3, sk, yb - 361 7 Jan: Franz Beckenbaur – im, t7 - 359 7 Jan: Bruce Wilkoff - gr - 359 8 Jan: Erwin Schild – ar - 358 9 Jan: Ustad Rashid Khan – af, ba, dr, gr, ms, sk, wm* - 357 10 Jan: Roy Battersby – bb, ms, rg, wm - 356 11 Jan: Yury Solomin – ar, cc, dr - 355 11 Jan: Dave Marsh - sk - 355 13 Jan: Joyce Randolph - di 353 14 Jan: Brian Barczyk – ba, bb - 352 23 Jan: Jason Smith – af, ba, bk, dg, dr, mp, ms, rg, sk, th*, wm - 343 25 Jan: Roger Donlon - ti - 341 27 Jan*: Stuart Gray – bk, ed - 339 * = Provisional date of death 27 Jan: Carl Pierson - ba - 339 And, let's have a look at the old scoreboard! Banana - 2116 Sideik - 1778 Wannamaker - 1775 An Fear Beag - 1428 msc - 1418 Drol - 1417 LizLemon - 1087 CalebH - 1088 gcreptile - 1079 Arghton - 1076 The Immortal - 1065 RadGuy - 1061 Thatcher - 1047 Book - 1044 Imelda - 722 Captain Chorizo - 718 DeathImpends - 716 BabyBlue - 708 Maryportfuncity - 705 DeathBecomesThem - 363 Deadsox - 363 Hell - 363 John Key - 363 MariNisia - 363 Sean - 363 Summer in Translyvania - 363 The Old Crem - 363 Theoldlady - 363 Toast - 363 The Unknown Man - 363 Bibliogryphon - 362 Famous6Eva - 361 Nantonian2013 - 361 Yorkshire Banker - 361 ThereWillBeDeaths7 - 359 Diego - 342 Etushispushingupdaisies - 339 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
maryportfuncity 10,626 Posted November 5, 2023 The tonnage of talent, the mass of imminent mortality, the deluge of the due to decease, the plethora of potential pushing daisies it'll be.... The Masterlist! Abdullah The Butcher – gf Nelson Acosta - sk Cindy Adams – gc Valdas Adamkus – di, n3 Anouk Aimée - tt Lenita Airisto - dr Albert of Belgium – cs, t7 Alan Alda - ar Buzz Aldrin – mq Claudia Alencar - af Isma Aliff - dr, ms, rg, wm Seif al-Adel - mp Sheikh Salem Al-Ali Al-Sabah – ar, lf Moses Ali – ar Peter Angelos – dx* Ray Anthony - di Irene Apfel – gf*, ll Liora Argamani - ba Ineko Arima – jm John Ashton - to Qapik Attagutsiak – bb - DNS DUE TO DEATH David Attenborough – lf, mq, tt Brigette Auber – jm Paul Auster - ms Tom Baker – lf, t7 Elsbeth Ballantyne – gc, gf Lynne Reid Banks – tt, yb Luisa Baptista – ms, wm Brian Barczyk – ba, bb Daniel Barenboim – af, ch, da, th Bob Barker – kt Juan Manuel Battaglia - ba Roy Battersby – bb, ms, rg, wm Horace Baumer - dr - DNS DUE TO DEATH Conchita Bautista – kt Stanley Baxter – sn, tt Franz Beckenbaur – im, t7 Günter Bernard – n3 Lasse Plum Bertelsen - gr - DNS DUE TO DEATH Roland Bertin – cl Buddhadeb Bhattacharjee - ww Tim Bilton – ed, mp, we Nguyễn Thị Bình – jm Charlie Bird – hl, im, ms, th Jeanne Bisgood – cc, dg Kat Bjelland - to Brian Blessed – ar, yb Telma Regina Bley - af Hans Blix – gc Ann Blyth - da Barry Briggs – gb Ugo Misfud Bonnici -bb, f6 Stan Bowles - tt Maria Branyas - dr Clive Brittain – n3 Tom Brokaw - db Mel Brookes -da, mq Alexis Buchman - ba Warren Buffet – we Scott Burke - rg Charles Burrell – n3 Theo Burrell – bk, ch, db, dx, ed, tc, th, wm, yb Rob Burrow – bg, bk, ed, gb, hl, im, jk, lf, n3, rg, sk, sn, st, tc*, th, ti, tu, we, yb Dick Button - ll Ruth Buzzi – gf, ll, ww Amanda Bynes – gf Jimmy Calderwood - mn Marita Camacho Quiros - da Ben Hudson Campbell – ch Frank Caprio – bk, dx, ms, rg, th Fernando Henrique Cardoso – cl Lennart Carleson - ww Leslie Caron - jm Jimmy Carter – af, ar, ba, bb*, bg, bk*,cc*, ch*, cl, cs*, da*, db, di*, dg, dr*, f6*, gb*, gr, hl, im, jk*, jm, lf*, ll*, mn*, mp*, mq, ms, n3, t7*,rg, sk, sn*,st, tc, th, ti*, to*, tt*, tu*, we*, wm Rosalynn Carter – bg*, cs – DNS due to death Raul Castro - kt* Ethel Caterham – dx, gb James Carter Cathcart – db, ed, mn Nadia Cattouse – yb Tony Caunter – gc Liliani Cavani - bb Graham Caveney – af, f6,ms, rg Edie Ceccarelli - dx Violeta Chamorro – ch, db, hl, jm, n3, st, t7, to, we Hema Chaudary – af, ba, cc, dr, gr, rg Derek Chauvin – gf François Cheng - da Gaositwe Chiepe - jm Teddie (Hazel) Chinnery – bg Noam Chomsky – bb, bk, cc, ch, dg, dr, dx, gr, jm*, ll, mn, mp, ms, n3, rg, sk, sn, st, t7, th, tt, wm, yb Yvonne Choquet-Bruhat - da Nanny Faye Chrisley - gf Wendy Clarke - gb Barbara Clegg – bg Martha Cohn - da Joan Collins - mq Maryse Condé – kt Kenneth Cope – cl, gc Sergio Corona – cc, f6 Ileana Cotrubaș - cl Simon (wildlife) Cowell – bk, cc, cs, ms, rg, tc Dianna Cowern – f6 Bobby Cox – yb John Cruickshank - di Tim Curry – gf Dalai Lama - we Phyllis Dalton – yb Walid Daqqa - gr Christoph Daum - yb Zdeňka Deitchová – kt Jacques Delores – bb – DNS DUE TO DEATH Alex Delvecchio - gf Judy Dench – mq Gérard Depardieu – cl Johnny Depp – cl Joe Doering - gr, mn Shannon Doherty – cs, dg, jk, lf, st, to, tc, tu, we Caren Marsh Doll – db, n3 Roger Donlon - ti Derek Draper – af, ar, ba*, bk, cc, cl*, db, di, dr, dx, gr, hl, im, jk, ll, mn, mp, ms, rg, sk, sn, st, tc, th, ti, to, tt, tu, wm Michel Drucker – bb John F Duffy - dg Ivy Dumont – kt Bill Dundee - ms Roberto Duran – f6 Jacques Dutronc - cl Robert Duvall – mq Clint Eastwood – mq Michael Eavis - st Lily Ebert – th Wayne Eddy – af*, gr*, mp, rg* Jan Englert – f6 Heyley Erbert – ch Daniel J Evans - db Francoise Fabian – da Marianne Faithful – to Michelle Fazzari - wm Sheila Fearn - dg Emilio Fede – bb Lidiya Fedoseyeva-Shukshina - cc Frank Field – af, ar, bk, ch, cs, dg, dr, ed, gb, gc*, hl, jk, lf, mp, rg, t7, tc, th, ti, tt, tu, Daniel Filipacchi – gc Vigdís Finnbogadóttir - db Roberta Flack – di, f6, hl, ll, sn, tc, to, tu Foolio – f6 Pope Francis – cs, lf, t7, we Antonia Fraser - mn Tamie Fraser – gc, ww Nancy French - ch Alberto Fujimori - bb Dario G – jm Steve Gaines – ar, sk Stenio Garcia – dg Lloyd Geering - sk Ruth Geller – kt Johnny Gilbert - di Rhod Gilbert – cs, ed Gillberg – cl Janey Godley – ed LeGrand Gold - ba Lady Annabel Goldsmith – gc, ww Julie Goodyear – lf, st, t7 Galina Gorokhova – dg, kt Betty Grafstein - gr David (Brains) Graham – cc, cs, da, mp, sn, t7, th, yb* Marjorie Grande – kt Stuart Gray – bk, ed Nina Grebeshkova – cl, f6, mp Alan Greenspan - cl Mina Gregori – bb Delfina Guzman - cl Gene Hackman – mq Kurt Hamrin – f6 Francoise Hardy - tu Lauren Harries – lf Rosemary Harris – bb Michelle Harrison - ba Bobby Hehir – ba, gr John Hemingway – mp Dai Henwood – jk Hans Hermann - ww Michael Heseltine – gb William Heseltine – gc AJ Hickling - gr - DNS DUE TO DEATH Lord Terence Higgins – cs Toni Hilland - mn Jean Hindmarsh -gb Peter Hordern – gc Khandaker Mosharraf Hossain - dr Douglas Hurd – db, gb, gf, im Wang Huo - ar Warris Hussein – yb Khairil Idzhar - gr, ba Ion Ilescu – cl, kt Mika Immonen - dg Irenaios (former Patriarch of Crete) - ar Johnnie Irwin – bg, bk, cs, ed, gb, hl, im, jk, lf, ll, mn, mp, sn, st, tc, th, ti, tu, we, wm, ww Robert Ito – gf Tomiko Itooka - cc James Ivory – bg* Katherine Jackson - bg, db Sister Jean - we Erik Jensen – db, ed*,im, jm, lf Ron Jeremy – th, to J. D. Jones - da Glynis Johns – bg, cl, ll, ti Gwyneth Jones - yb James Earl Jones – mq Alberto Juantorena - mn Kyoko Kagawa – jm Janice Kaing – gf Pauline Kana - jk Eric Kandel – we Toby Keith – ed, hl, tc, ti, tu Agnes Keleti – bg Elizabeth Kelly – gf, tt Ethel Kennedy – t7, ti Katharine, Duchess of Kent – mn Duke of Kent - sn Ustad Rashid Khan – af, ba, dr, gr, ms, sk, wm* Maggie Kirkpatrick - ww Henry Kissenger – cs – DNS DUE TO DEATH George Kooymans - ed Ted Kotcheff - gf Nadine Koutcher – ch Miso Kovac – cl Eileen Kramer – dg, ww* Kris Kristofferson – ll Lorna Ladlaw - tc Cleo Laine – sn, to Larisa Latynina – da, jm Antero Laukkanen - st Denis Law – bb, dg, gf, lf, sn, to, tt Phyllida Law - kt Ray Lawler – bg Jeanette Lee - ch Jean Marie Le Pen – cs, hl Tom Lehrer – bg, gb Bill Leivers - dg Mollie Lentaigne – f6 Lucy Letby – ww Sander Levin - db Rhoda Lewis - ww David Linden – jk, sn Zhang Lixiong – cc, mn June Loc – bg Sophia Loren – kt Jim Lovell – t7 Dolph Lundgren - jk Shane MacGowan – cs*, kt – DNS DUE TO DEATH Maurice MacGowan – jm, th Madonna - ww Abdul Taib Mahmud – ar Josip Manolić – bk, di, dg*, dr, hl, jk, mn, ms*, rg, sk, st*, tt, wm Pasquall Maragall - sn Imelda Marcos – da, jm, mq Dave Marsh - sk Jean Marsh – bg, kt, tt Peter Marshall – di Claire Maurier - da Willie Mays – ch Virginia Halas McCaskey – dx, lf Mitch McConnell - lf Malachy McCourt - th Elaine “Spanky” McFarlane – yb Steve Mongo McMichael – af, ba, bk, ch, di, dg, dr, dx, ed, gr, hl*, im, ll, mp, ms, rg, sn, st, t7, tc, th, to, tt, tu Dick McTaggert – yb Terry Medwin - yb Larry Merchant – af, ba, cc, da, dr, n3*, wm Jerry Messing - gf Zubin Metha – kt Lisandro Meza – bb Empress Michiko - dx Brenda Milner – bb Liza Minelli – im, tt Ryan Minor – bb, ch*, jm, mp, th – DNS DUE TO DEATH JustaMinx(Irish Twitch Streamer) – jm Alexander Mitta – bb, cc, da, dr, jm, mn, rg, sn, st, th, ti, wm Mahathir Mohamad – tu Juan Vicente Perez Mora – dx, sk Maria Branyas Morero – dx, gb, mp, sk Edgar Morin - da Cynthia Morley – gb Jane Morgan – gc Alice Munro – gf Carmen Munroe - ww Rupert Murdoch – cs, gb, mq Bruce Murray - af Patrick Murray – db, di, ed, f6, im, mp, sk, sn, tc, yb Pete Murray – db, gb, n3 Lizzy Musi – ch, f6 David Musuguri - sk Dikembe Mutombo – dx, gr, mn, st Dave Myers – tc, wm Alexandre Do Nascimiento – sk Jorge Nava - af Sam Neill – tc, to, tu, we Willie Nelson – mq Patriarch Neophyte of Bulgaria – af, rg, wm Bob Newhart – bg, ch, cs, mq Linda Nolan – bg, cs, ed, gb, hl, lf, n3, tc, ti, to, tu Niall O Donnghaile – n3 John – Mr Ibu - Okafor – af, ch, gr Niels Olsen - bk Yoko Ono – im, ll, mq, n3, to, we Peter Oosterhuis – n3 Joaquin Orellana - gr Paul Kalambay Otepa - gr Seiji Ozawa – jm, t7 Michael Parenti - rg Edgar Pearce – gc Isabel Peron – ll, tu Valerie Perrine - db Dinesh Phadnis – jm - DNS DUE TO DEATH Carl Pierson - ba Silvia Pinal – af, cc, dr, ms, wm Song Ping – dx, im* Erin Pizzey - gc Biljana Plavšić - cl Wendy Playfair - yb Joan Plowright – bg Leontyn Price - ll Marita Camacho Quiros – di, lf, sk Priscilla Pointer – gc, hl Micheline Presle – da Larry Pressler – ll Hu Qili – ww Joyce Randolph - di Ernest Ranglin - gf Esther Rantzen – bk, cs, di, dx, ed, hl, lf, ll, ms, st, tc, ti, tu, we, wm, ww Queen Ratna – jm Ida Reams - ba Vanessa Redgrave – lf, ll, ti Line Renaud – cl Adele Roberts - ed Bill Rodgers – n3 Chi Chi Rodriguez - ww Sonny Rollins – hl, mp, to, tu Herman Van Rompuy – we Linda Ronstadt – im, jk, ll Jacob Rotschild - ar Patricia Routledge – bb, bg Thelma Ruby - kt Bernardo Ruiz – f6 Salman Rushdie - to William Russel – cs, hl, jk, tt, ww Eva Marie Saint – jk King Salman of Saudi Arabia - ti Irena Santor – f6 Jose Sarney - bb Ira "Ike" Schab – dg, jm, ti George Schappell – kt Erwin Schild – ar Rolf Schimpf - bk Richard Scolyer - ch Eleanor Roosevelt Seagraves – kt Mike Sertich - ba Tom Skerrit – mq Gene Shalit – ch Joe Shannon – gr, jk, th William Shatner - mq Dennis Skinner – bg, cc, dg, st, t7 Glynn Simmons - mp Mina Singer – bb Indarjit Singh - st Manmohan Singh – f6 Yahya Sinwar - mp Swami Smaranananda – ar*, st Jason Smith – af, ba, bk, dg, dr, mp, ms, rg, sk, th*, wm Maggie Smith – ww Steve Smith - sn Garfield Sobers – ar Jay-Jay Solari -dx Solihin G. P. - cc Yury Solomin – ar, cc, dr Julie Sommars – da, f6 Lucielle Soong - jm George Soros - dx Bill Spence - gc June Spencer – bg, di, gc, jk, lf, mn, n3, ti, wm Philip Springer - mn Rick Springfield – ww D. Srinivas - dr Nigel Starmer Smith- bk, cs, db, di, ed, gb, hl, im, mn, n3, sn, t7, tc, to, tt, tu Thomas Stafford – af, db*, dr, gr, mn, ms, rg, st, t7, ti Bill Steel - sn Erin Sullivan – cl, yb – DNS DUE TO DEATH Susan Sullivan – f6 Jimmy Swaggart – cs Jayapataka Swami – dr, mn Tanuja - cc Ratan Tata - ar Renee Taylor - yb Norman Tebbit – gb, im, to, tt Torsun Teichgräber – bk, gr – DNS DUE TO DEATH Tekashi69 - gf Margarita Terekhova - cl Colin Thackery – gb Saalumarada Thimmakka – sk* Michael Tilson Thomas – af, bk, dx, jk Joan Tinniswood - dg Tony Tornado – bb Shintaro Tsuji - di Torben Ulrich – gc – DNS DUE TO DEATH Gudren Ure – di Paul Vachon – cc Marc Valentine-Morton - ba Dick van Dyke – jk, mq, we Louis van Gaal - im Ornella Vanoni - cl Cesar Virata -ar Ida Vitale - ww Tep Vong – ar, cc, sk Robert Wagner – mq, ti John Wakeham - gb Lech Walasa – bb, dg, to Danny Wallace – im Sean Wallace – ba, ms Julie Walters – dx, im Emanuel Wamala - we James D Watson – gc, tt June Watson – kt William H. Webster – t7 Fritz Wepper - bk Rose West – kt Ruth Westheimer - gf Donald Wetzel – gc Torsten Wiesel – we Rex Williams - we James Whale – bk, ch, cs, di, ed, hl, im, jk, n3, st, tc, tu, we Humpy Wheeler – yb Jacqueline White – gc Bruce Wilkoff - gr Bridgette Wilson - tc Richard Wilson – kt Tom Willett - ar Bruce Willis – ed, mq, ti, tu Joanne Woodward – ch, cs, db, hl, ll, mp, sn, th, to, tt, tu Xiaohong Xu - ba - DNS DUE TO DEATH Carl Yarborough - ll Arnold Yarrow – bg, di, dx Kim Yong-nam – t7 Jamal Yunos - gr Yuriko, Princess Mikasa - ti Mario Zagallo – f6, n3, sk, yb Anastasia Zavorotnyuk - jk Eduardo Zuleta - da 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
maryportfuncity 10,626 Posted November 5, 2023 Parliamentary veteran Frank has fielded queries about the rules since revealing his immenent death two years back. Doing sterling service hereabouts despite constant cries from the crowd to shit or get off the pot! Deathrace 2024 - Those Rules in Full: 1 - The object of the Deathrace is to be the first contestant to reach 2024 points. 2 - To enter the Deathrace a contestant must have: i: a team of twenty topplers and a minimum of two subs ("topplers" must be at least 18 years old on 1 Jan 2024; but are otherwise unrestricted). ii: Deathlist membership (i.e. be at least a pointless ranter and at most a dedicated Cumbrian corpse hound, or summat) 2a: A player may enter as many team members facing execution as s/he wants but said picks will only count for deathrace points if they die by means other than state execution - murder, suicide, ill health etc. 3 - Entries close promptly at midnight on 30 December 2022 and entry can be made either by sending a team of twenty to MPFC via PM hereabouts and/or by posting a team of twenty on the Deathrace 2024 thread. 3a: Once a team has entered in the manner described above the line-up can’t be changed for any other reason than the death of a team member before the start of the competition. In the event of a team being short of members because of more deaths than available subs MPFC will negotiate last minute changes with the team manager. 3b: If a team manager is unresponsive in substitute negotiation attempts and/or has left entry very late and MPFC is overwhelmed, a below strength team will be brought up to numbers with the award of a "random" sub, based on the sub fielded by the previous team to need one (assuming said sub wasn't already on the team receiving them). Should that random sub be ineligable by already being on the team MPFC will randomise the subbing by dropping in the last sub played in the game who is eligable. Should that prove impossible the ultimate get out option is to drop in a random sub based on the masterlist position corresponding to the minute of a game in which Carlisle United scored their (then) most recent goal. 4 - Players score points every time a team member dies and accrues an obit (see point 9 below) and the score for each death is calculated as one point for each complete calendar day remaining in 2024 after the death of the team member; so a death on 1 January earns 364 pts, a death on 2 January earns 363 pts etc., totals go up accordingly in leap years and since pool entries close on 30 Dec it is possible to claim points for 1 Jan, assuming your pick is dead on the final day of the old year. 5 - Each team must nominate one member as a joker and the joker scores double points on death. Any team submitted without a clearly nominated joker will be allotted said joker on the basis of the name at the top of the team sheet being so designated. 6 - The winner is the first player to reach or exceed 2024 pts. 7 - In the event that a death or deaths on a specific day push more than one player beyond a winning score the player with the highest overall score will be deemed to be the winner. 8 - In the event that two or more players tie for victory a Deathrace play off will ensue with all potential winners continuing to compete until such time as one potential winner scores more points than any other potential winner (such points continuing to be accrued as per the scoring system described in point 4 above). 9 - An "obit" in the context of the Deathrace is any news report in English from a reliable source. Such sources include - but are not limited to - UK national press, UK national broadcast organisations, foreign press and broadcast organisations with an English language thread to their communication, trade press in English, local news organisations reporting in English and coverage in specialist online sites, such as those monitoring the well-being of super-centenarians. Where dispute arises over the qualifying nature of a news source for obit purposes MPFC's decision is final. But he wants fast and furious competition and is generally very amenable to low hanging dead pool fruit of all varieties. 10 - To qualify for entry purposes team members must be alive at 00-01 hrs on 1 January 2024 or qualify for the Raymond Hewlitt Memorial Exemption (RHME) (see point 11). 11 - In honour of everybody's favourite Maddie-implicated paedo scum a candidate widely believed to be alive on 1 January and subsequently proven to have died previously will be awarded 365 points in the event that a Deathrace qualifying obit subsequently appears for said candidate. In the event that a Deathrace qualifying obit for the candidate is subsequently proven to have existed prior to commencement of the Deathrace all points will be voided. RHME points are only available during competition and in the event that a winner has been declared before discovery of a qualifyiing RHME candidate no revision of the final result will occur. Similarly, if some lucky candidate is awarded RHME points and these points are still in play at the time a winner is declared the points will not subsequently be voided and may - therefore - count towards a championship. All disputes relating to RHME will be resolved by the astute judgement of MPFC and there is no appeals procedure (though all sides of opionion are warmly invited to liven up the Deathrace thread by venting their fury). 11a - Similarly to pt 11 above, if an obited death occurs during play of the Deathrace and is missed despite MPFC's best efforts to stay in touch and/or the spirited efforts of Deathrace participants, and said death is missed in totting up points, after which a winner is declared, then this death will not count for competition purposes. The same is true in the case of a known death gathering a late obit and therefore allowing some other competitor to be declared a winner. Traditionally a period of around a day is allowed after a proven winning score has been attained before formal declaration of a winner to allow for the contingencies covered by rule 11a. All disputes relating to rule 11a will be resolved by the astute judgement of MPFC and there is no appeals procedure (though all sides of opionion are warmly invited to liven up the Deathrace thread by venting their fury). 12 - In the event that Deathlist editing options or other online trickery is discovered to have been employed in the editing of teams, those duly fingered for such cheating will be removed from the Deathrace and banned for life from subsequent entry into Deathraces. 13 - The prize will be awarded as follows: i: Should the winner agree to attend a DLCon with MPFC a double measure of alcholic drinks (pints, wine or spirits) will be supplied by MPFC along with much hearty congratulations and back-slapping. ii: A carefully chosen and appropriate prize will be posted to the winner (such as the DVD copy of the original Deathrace movie supplied to the 2009 champion). iii: MPFC will make a charitable donation to a cause of the winner's choice (as has been the case with all but one winnings of the Deathrace). This course of action is highly encouraged and is known to show dead poolers as something other than the sicko scum many ranters believe us to be. AND FINALLY... A masterlist of entries will be posted after the closing date. MPFC will undertake to update the scoreboard at least once every seven days - typically much more frequently than that. On completion of Deathrace activities the thread will get lively for a short while as losing contestants and spectators offer well-deserved congratulations to the skillful and highly talented new champion, after which time it is expected that the cooling corpse of the thread will be allowed to gently sink into oblivion. In summary: It's fast, it's furious it's f***in' good fun. Teams of 20 topplers posted on this thread or PM'd to MPFC will be collected into a masterlist to provide a carnival of carnage, the counting of which goes live in the first second of 2024. Points aplenty pour into the scoreboard until someone snags the stupendous total of 2023, at which point the event that used to be the fastest deadpool in common useage (until MPFC started something faster!) slams on the brakes and the lucky winner is duly given metaphorical back-slaps and allowed to claim a prize worth about a tenner (though tradition thus far dictates this turns into a charitable donation)*. Closing date for entries is midnight on 30 December 2023. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
maryportfuncity 10,626 Posted November 5, 2023 Deathrace Form Guide #1 Shane MacGowan Let's celebrate the opening of the 2024 event with a word-for-word re-run of the first candidate on the 2022 AND 2023 form guide. Yer man Shane was then described as..."Perennial pisshead, die-hard drug hoover and all round self-abuse champion with a pedigree stretching back to the start of this site, and before that. Previously a permanent tease for dead poolers of all descriptions but as a few of his ilk have shown, none of these hard livers fond of liver damage are immortal. George Best was 59 (and he took exercise with his plethora of pop), Oliver Reed was 61." Shane turns 66 on Christmas Day. To be fair, he put the hard hospital hours in this year, he might - finally - be a decent bet hereabouts. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
gcreptile 10,961 Posted November 5, 2023 Obligatory, what?! Is it THAT time already? Thank you in advance for hosting it again! 3 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
maryportfuncity 10,626 Posted November 5, 2023 3 minutes ago, gcreptile said: Obligatory, what?! Is it THAT time already? Thank you in advance for hosting it again! Cheers - it's actually a little late this year - but we're on it. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
maryportfuncity 10,626 Posted November 5, 2023 Reet - a brief rant then we'll get stuck into some decent dead pooling. Elvira - who mc'd last year - is here to remind you we discussed two rule changes. Or, perhaps more accurately, I suggested them on the back of a couple of issues last year and nobody else much gave a monkeys. Either way, just pointing them out here. Closing entries on 30 Dec and awarding points thereafter - i.e. including deaths on New Year's Eve on the basis of there being an unlived day for that "talent" the following year is now a thing. Brought in because re-jigging the last event to drop in multiple subs for the ex-Pope looked like a mission too far, but -frankly - a rule that makes sense in this pool! People entering late, and fielding obscure candidates whose deaths aren't exactly front page news run the risk of running under-strength teams and in the hotbed of early days action that is the Deathrace it's proven problematic to contact team managers and agree subs. There's now an amendment to rule three that discusses a "random" subs policy (basically, dropping in the last sub used by another team as a random addition), and has a bizarre final option if the first one doesn't work (I'll pick a random sub based on the masterlist position corresponding to the minute of a game in which Carlisle United most recently scored a goal). Frankly, that should cover all eventualities and the only minor unfairness is that it's less likely subs a long way down the alphabet will get called into action. Is that enough meticulous organisation for yers, or what? 3 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
An Fear Beag 1,535 Posted November 5, 2023 1 hour ago, maryportfuncity said: Sorry, what was that you were saying again? Got distracted. 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ladyfiona 2,569 Posted November 5, 2023 My team: (3/20) David Attenborough Denis Law (footballer) Erik Jensen (actor) Esther Rantzen Frank Field MP Jimmy Carter – Joker Jonnie Irwin Julie Goodyear (actress) June Spencer Lauren Harries (reality star) Linda Nolan Marita Camacho Quirós (first lady) Mitch McConnell Pope Francis Rob Burrow Salem Al-Ali Al-Sabah (Sheikh) Shannen Doherty Tom Baker Vanessa Redgrave Virginia Halas McCaskey Subs John Tinniswood (supercentenarian) Juli Lynne Charlot (poodle skirt inventor) Jean Marie Le Pen (politician) Yoko Ono Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
maryportfuncity 10,626 Posted November 5, 2023 2 hours ago, ladyfiona said: My entry will be here. Also a reminder to myself and others to not enter your people in November. Last year I did and by then three people died by end of December, lol. Nowt wrong with LOADS of subs on an early entry, mind 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
CaptainChorizo 1,976 Posted November 5, 2023 Deathrace Form Guide #2 Jeanne Bisgood CBE This Centenarian is one of England Most Decorated Female Golfer's,but it's likely Jeanne is not too long for this World. Given the track record of what has happened to all previous Holder's Of UK's Living Oldest Golfer, she might be a worthy addition to your team. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Spade_Cooley 9,513 Posted November 6, 2023 Deathrace Form Guide #3 MC Ren Lorenzo Jerald Patterson (born June 16, 1969),[1] known professionally as MC Ren, is an American rapper, songwriter, and record producer from Compton, California. He is the founder and owner of the record label Villain Entertainment. MC Ren began his career as a solo artist signed to Eazy-E's Ruthless Records in early 1987, while still attending high school. By the end of 1987, after having written nearly half of Eazy-Duz-It, he became a member of N.W.A. After the group disbanded in 1991, he stayed with Ruthless, releasing three solo albums including the controversial Shock of the Hour before leaving the label in 1998.[2][3] In 2016, he was inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame as a member of N.W.A.[4][5][6] 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Captain Hemlock 737 Posted November 6, 2023 Deathrace Form Guide #4 Jamie Farr Back in the simpler era of the early 1950's, one could expect to get a Section 8 for wearing a dress in the army. Alas, the 4077th was ahead of the curve in terms of progressiveness and thus Maxwell Q Klinger was eventually relegated to jokes about the Toledo Mud Hens, his Lebanese heritage, and Tony Packo's hot dogs. Mr Farr, the actor who portrayed the Truman era trans, is now 89, and just recently quit the personalized video platform Cameo. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
maryportfuncity 10,626 Posted November 6, 2023 Deathrace Form Guide #5 P J Proby I've actually posted this guy in form guides before but let's celebrate his 85th birthday by reminding all comers he was once so famous his current q/o status is a shoo-in, if only because the more lurid papers won't be able to resist an encore of his greatest hits, meaning they'll mention his briefly stellar pop career before diverting into a private life including relationship chaos, brushes with mortality by way of a lifestyle reminiscent of a few DL favourites like Alex "Hurricane" Higgins, Frank Worthington etc. etc. Not in the George Best/Oliver Reed league, but then those two didn't get within 20 years of Proby's current age. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
The Immortal 633 Posted November 7, 2023 Deathrace Form Guide #6 Ira "Ike" Schab This 103 year old Pearl Harbor Survivor's dying wish was to return to Pearl Harbor one last time, at the time of it's 80th anniversary back in 2021. His family pushed for crowdfunding to cover his medical and travel expenses as he was already very ill and even after that they weren't sure if he would be able to make it to Pearl Harbor because of his health, having been in and out of hospital for multiple health issues including bouts of pneumonia. To my knowledge, he continues to be mostly in and out of hospital. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
arghton 6,683 Posted November 7, 2023 Deathrace Form Guide #7 Sigurður Hjartarson World-renowned educator, inventor, museum curator and phallus collector Sigurður Hjartarson (if you've ever watched "The Final Member", or you are or ever have been into for example those Ripley's Believe It or Not books or "Weird Facts" Facebook/YouTube/Instagram accounts, you might've heard the name before) is somewhere in his eighties and has been retired for around a decade now. I can't name any self-proclaimed phallologist who's made it to such a great old age, you might want to erect him on your Deathrace team... 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
YorkshireBanker 168 Posted November 20, 2023 Deathrace Form Guide #8 Lynne Reid Banks The Beloved Children's Author has been house bound since 2022 . Sadly also for a few years now has had limited mobility. 2024 could be your last chance to add her your collection. 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
maryportfuncity 10,626 Posted November 23, 2023 Deathrace Form Guide #9 Sheila Fearn Tbh this is blatantly booting a random into the form guide for the purpose of reminding us all there are randoms out there who'd cop a q/o as and when even if we're largely ignoring them. Fearn was top comedy tottie in the sixties and seventies sitcom The Likely Lads and had a lively and varied acting CV up to 1988, when she fell from a mountain, broke a leg very badly and ended up with a prominent limp that motivated her to quit acting (on the basis she thought it'd be a reason for casting directors to turn her down). Turned 83 last month, nailed on obits as and when. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Captain Hemlock 737 Posted November 23, 2023 Deathlist Form Guide #10 Gene Shalit The superbly mutstachioed critic from NBC TV's Today Show was a big fan of the 1978 Warren Beatty film Heaven Can Wait. Fortunately for Mr Shalit (and unfortunately for the rest of us) he took the movie's title as a call to action. Perhaps 2024 is the year the 97 year old Mr Shalit gets to review firsthand Stairway to Heaven (the 1946 David Niven film, not the 1971 Led Zeppelin opus). Ooh, it makes me wonder. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
TheKillingTime 19 Posted November 24, 2023 Bob Barker*rugby player Conchita Bautista Eleanor Roosevelt Seagraves Galina Gorokhova George Schappell Ion Ilescu Ivy Dumont Jean Marsh Marjorie Grande Maryse Condé Phyllida Law Raul Castro*joker Richard Wilson Rose West Ruth Geller Shane Macgowan Sophia Loren Thelma Ruby Zdeňka Deitchová Zubin Metha subs June Watson Glynis Johns Barbara Barrie Denis Law Daniella Westbrook Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
CaptainChorizo 1,976 Posted November 29, 2023 Deathlist Form Guide #11 Bill Leivers With the way Manchester City have dominated footie the last few years,might not be a bad idea to have one of that clubs legends on your squad. And one of the best choices might be this Nonagerian who is among one of the last living Winner of the FA Cup in the 1950's. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
maryportfuncity 10,626 Posted November 29, 2023 Deathrace Form Guide #12 Jimmy Carter Hardly needs stating he's a hot pick (including in the Advent Avanlanche). Assuming he cashes in there he's Deathrace toast, assuming he isn't he's likely amongst the most popular jokers available. Carter would doubtless be appaled that dead pools are more a free for all than democracy in which everyone helps everyone else so in the caring sharing Carteresque spirit I'm posting this to aid everyone hereabouts unaware that a world figure, q/o shoo-in and hot talent is currently available for selection, or summat. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
maryportfuncity 10,626 Posted December 2, 2023 Deathrace Form Guide (lucky?) #13 Maurice MacGowan The king of dead pool talent and joker picks is dead, the obits say those he left behind include his dad. Q/o chances in the harsher dead pools not guaranteed if Hamas and the Israelis are having a lively day, q/o chances in the Deathrace an absolute shoo-in, and that's before we consider Maurice was too ill to attend Shane's wedding in 2018. 3 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JoeMoneypenny 55 Posted December 4, 2023 Alexander Mitta Brigitte Auber Dario G(Uk House Musician) Dinesh Phadnis Erik Jensen(American Actor) Gaositwe Chiepe Imelda Marcos Ira "Ike" Schab Ineko Arima Jimmy Carter JustaMinx(Irish Twitch Streamer) Kyoko Kagawa Larisa Latynina Leslie Caron Maurice MacGowan Nguyễn Thị Bình Noam Chomsky(Joker) Ryan Minor Seiji Ozawa Violeta Chamorro subs Queen Ratna Lucille Soong Ruth Buzzi Ed Gale Sly Stone 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
