Please Let It Be... Paul McCartney

[BrunoBrimley 86]

so if you don't like it

BrunoBrimley,i suggest you hop it.

That's it kick me when I'm down. Here, you can even borrow my leg to do it.

[BrunoBrimley 86]

Thank you!  I've been really worrying about this!  I was ashamed to say before that I found them highly amusing and was starting to think I was a little sick, but now I am proud to say that they're funny!  Thank you thank you thank you!!!

 

 

 

Oh stop your silly fretting. You unfortunately caught me on a bad day and then my own embarassment kept me from responding further.

Perhaps as a token of good will I can offer you this pleasant venue for visiting.

http://www.cartoonstock.com/directory/a/amputation.asp

 

Again my apologies for over reacting now could I please have my axe and sander back? Summer's coming and I need to make a new leg for the beach.

[Amanda 3]

Oh thank you BrunoBrimley!!!! I feel like a weight has been lifted!

 

Thanks!

[Anubis the Jackal 77]

Paul's wife Heather in scuffle with J-Lo, loses limb.

 

SIR PAUL McCARTNEY'S amputee wife HEATHER MILLS McCARTNEY lost her prosthetic leg during a violent confrontation with security guards at JENNIFER LOPEZ's New York office. ..

 

 

She could take her to court, but she wouldn't have a leg to stand on.

[Cowboy Ronnie 78]

She could take her to court, but she wouldn't have a leg to stand on.

apparently she contributed to the incident, as witnesses report she was legless and hopping mad at the time.....

[Anubis the Jackal 77]

All together now...

 

"Your right leg I like. I like your right leg. A lovely leg for the role. That's what I said when I saw you come in. I said "A lovely leg for the role." I've got nothing against your right leg. The trouble is - neither have you. "

[Death Watch Beatle 41]

Has trouble with the Hokey-Cokey at Christmas I hear.

 

DWB

[Gunjaman5000 30]

SIR PAUL McCARTNEY'S amputee wife HEATHER MILLS McCARTNEY lost her prosthetic leg during a violent confrontation with security guards at JENNIFER LOPEZ's New York office. ..

It reminds me of a great version of 'Help me make it through the night' by Kris Kristofferson that Billy Connolly did many, many years ago.

 

Take the rollers from yer hair.

Shake them loose and let them fa.

Pit them doon by your glass eye,

In that chanty by the wa.

Though yer teeth are black and gone,

An yer breath smells outa sight,

I'll pit a clae's (clothes) peg on ma nose,

Tae help me make it through the night!

 

I'd always remembered another verse in which a false leg was 'leant aginst the bed' but then I drink like a Catholic and it was a very long time ago...

[Josco 49]

Time to recycle the old....

 

She lay upon the grassy bank

my hands were all a quiver,

I undid her suspender belt

and her leg fell in the river.

[Harvester Of Souls 40]

I don't have any amputee jokes to add to this thread I just wanted to say that I really dislike (strongly) Mr McCartney and his patronising speeches about how we should live our lives.

 

So much so that I'm trying to take up fox hunting.

[Slave to the Grave 26]

Time to recycle the old....

 

She lay upon the grassy bank

my hands were all a quiver,

I undid her suspender belt

and her leg fell in the river.

Now, that was a poem.

[VileBody 11]

To be read in pointlessly high pitched Highland accent...

 

Oh Gladys, Gladys, come tae me

In yer amazin' see-though nightie.

When the moonlight flits

Across yer tits,

Oh Jesus Christ Almighty

 

With apologies to the late great P. Cook.

[VileBody 11]

And as I believe I have said many times elsewhere, MacCartney is W**ker and if I had the chance I'd make his f*****g stupid eyebrows go even higher by sticking his missus' false leg up his arse.

 

And the idea of J-Lo having a punch up with her and knocking her leg off is hysterical.

 

I expect it started because she was pulling her leg....

[Lady Die 63]

He's fallen down a hole!!

http://www.ananova.com/news/story/sm_15430...u=news.quirkies

[Josco 49]

He's fallen down a hole!!

http://www.ananova.com/news/story/sm_15430...u=news.quirkies

S**t, he lived!

[VileBody 11]

He's fallen down a hole!!

http://www.ananova.com/news/story/sm_15430...u=news.quirkies

Twat.

[Lady Die 63]

He's fallen down a hole!! 

http://www.ananova.com/news/story/sm_15430...u=news.quirkies

S**t, he lived!

Sorry to disappoint you!

[Lady Grendel 139]

Looks like he underwent heart surgery last year.

[Death Watch Beatle 41]

More on his surgery and marriage breakdown here.

 

Not life threatening but his refusal to give up drink on the doctor's advice is hopeful.

 

DWB

[Josco 49]

More on his surgery and marriage breakdown here.

 

Not life threatening but his refusal to give up drink on the doctor's advice is hopeful.

 

DWB

 

To paraphrase Dudley Moore in Arthur.

Potential fiancee: - "A good doctor could help you stop drinking."

Arthur: - "He would have to be a real big doctor!"

[DevonDeathTrip 2,358]

Paul McCartney has started making plans for his funeral. He's probably fine, but maybe he knows something we don't know.... I know he knows a lot of things we don't know, but maybe he knows something we don't already know, but should know, about his health he might be ill

[Dia de los Muertos 7]

"Paul McCartney recently told reporters that when he dies he wants people to celebrate." The bloody w****r, it won't happen a single day too soon!

 

In any case, I know that's what I'll be doing... celebrating!

[Terminator 13]

Paul McCartney has started making plans for his funeral. He's probably fine, but maybe he knows something we don't know.... I know he knows a lot of things we don't know, but maybe he knows something we don't already know, but should know, about his health he might be ill

 

I beleive he's specifically asked for the casket to be made from "Norwegian Wood".....

[Lard Bazaar 3,799]

Paul McCartney has started making plans for his funeral. He's probably fine, but maybe he knows something we don't know.... I know he knows a lot of things we don't know, but maybe he knows something we don't already know, but should know, about his health he might be ill

 

I beleive he's specifically asked for the casket to be made from "Norwegian Wood".....

 

 

He's also asked to be cremated - he's bought a Ticket To Fried.

[Terminator 13]

Paul McCartney has started making plans for his funeral. He's probably fine, but maybe he knows something we don't know.... I know he knows a lot of things we don't know, but maybe he knows something we don't already know, but should know, about his health he might be ill

 

I beleive he's specifically asked for the casket to be made from "Norwegian Wood".....

 

 

He's also asked to be cremated - he's bought a Ticket To Fried.

 

When he does "croak it". will they play the Frog Chorus at his funeral? (this could go on and on and ......) After all, pretty much all she could do was HOP anyhow....which could be appropriate