Read Any Good Books Lately?

[Lady Grendel 139]

I have just purchased a book called 'Accomodating Brocolli in the Cemetary' (sic) which is supposed to go through many of the irregularities of English spelling, common mistakes and the reasons behind them. I consider myself a fairly good speller, but already my lack of spelling ability has been massively exposed by this book. It mainly consists of lists, so is more a reference book than a novel.

I always considered myself a relatively good speller, until one night I watched part of that programme "The Great British Spelling Bee" or whatever it was called, where they invited "celebrities" onto teams and basically, well, had a spelling bee.

 

I boasted confidently to my housemate prior to the programme's commencement how good a speller I was; I was then systematically proven otherwise.

 

I've also discovered that, for the life of me, I cannot spell the word "exghstaughsted". I can never remember where the 'g', the 'h', or the 's' goes, and I'm pretty-sure-though-not-entirely-convinced that there's an 'x' in there somewhere too. It's extremely frustrating, as I tend to use the word all the time.

 

There is no 'g' in exhausted ie+ . The word 'definitely' always gets me, I keep wanting to change the 2nd i to an e, no idea why, but it gets me every time .

[in eternum+ 22]

There is no 'g' in exhausted ie+ .

Really? I always thought there was! That would explain it, then...

[pulphack 6]

Definitely! That one always gets me, too - that second 'i' really should be an 'e'. Isn't part of the problem with spelling these days that US & UK versions of English have become confused? A couple of generations back there was a very clear delineation. With the shrinking world and Hollywood culture riding roughshod over everything else, the uses of US English have spilt over. Which still doesn't explain or excuse 'tonite', really.

[TLC 9]

I always used to get annoyed with the American simpllified spellings such as lite, nite, harbor, specialize etc. but then I found out why it was done. Apparently it was because the Americans were so appalled by the traditional English inconsistency of spelling that they tried to make one current version of each word the standard. In the spirit of things, they tried to pick the word with the most sensible spelling compared to pronunciation.

 

Of course, we stubbornly didn't follow suit therefore making the situation worse, because these days spelling is more or less standardised (although probably less than you'd think) and so now you have to have English & 'American English' dictionaries. If we had adopted the American spellings the various different forms would have gradually disappeared or been much reduced in number as printing became more popular and standardised local spelling variations, or at least the variations in spelling would be more universal if that makes sense i.e. harbor & harbour would be more likely to both be valid alternatives in England and the USA.

 

No matter how many times I re-read the above paragraph it doesn't read quite properly but each attempted patch makes it even more unweildy. I give up.

 

I'm sure the fact that these changes were made just after American independence (sounds like it should end in -dance) had nothing at all to do with the reluctance of the English to embrace the American alternatives.

 

Apparently the English even went back and added the unnecessary 'b' into the word 'debt' a few hundred years ago because it followed the classic Latin root word like anyone gave a sh*t. And other such high jinks, those crazy fools.

 

No excuse for Aluminum though, because the extra English 'i' (Aluminium) was actually pronounced, so effectively it's a new word not just a new spelling. Says me. Plus somewhere deep down I still prefer the English versions of words and feel that the American versions are a bit lazy.

 

Some of the words I balls up regularly are: -

Various words that are variations of 'dependent' and whether the last 'e' should be an 'a', or the word should end -ants or -ence etc. A literary minefield.

Juggernaut, I often spell it Juggernault presumably I've associated the spelling of it with 'fault'.

Liase, I keep spelling it Liaise because Liaison is spelled (or is it spelt?) like that.

 

I have recently finally got the hang of apostrophes though. I was always ok with avoiding 'the sign-writers curse' (get some lovely banana's here!) apostrophe for plurals, but always messed up it's & its. I kept putting its' for no reason. Tip of the day; if you can substitute 'its' in the sentence with 'it is' or 'it has' then it's 'it's', if you can substitute 'its' with 'the' and it makes sense, then 'its' is correct. I thought you'd be pleased for me!

 

Wow, the most coherent post I've made in ages is about the English language. The structure & spelling of it that is, when it comes down to actual writing style & content I'm in no position to be giving out handy hints.

 

More fun pedantry next time kids!

 

ps In the meantime, I am also reading 'The Watchmen' graphic novel (long comic) as I'd always thought I'd read it, and only when I flicked through a copy in the shops at the weekend did I realise my error. It's looking pretty good so far.

[Boudicca 702]

M.C Grammar v Txt spk:

 

 

Just re-read "Beach Music", by Pat Conroy.

 

Fantastic book. He also wrote "The Prince of Tides".

 

Another great story, unfortunately butchered by Hollywood and Barbra Streisand

 

"The Lords of Discipline" is pretty good, too.

[Lady Grendel 139]

M.C Grammar v Txt spk:

 

 

Just re-read "Beach Music", by Pat Conroy.

 

Fantastic book. He also wrote "The Prince of Tides".

 

Another great story, unfortunately butchered by Hollywood and Barbra Streisand

 

"The Lords of Discipline" is pretty good, too.

 

I read 'Beach Music' last month, I agree, fantastic book. I'm trying to get hold of his other books, no luck so far. I've seen the film of 'The Prince of Tides' but it was so long ago I can't even remember what it was about.

[Six 23]

I'm half way through reading 'Popcorn' by Ben Elton. It's proving to be quite a good read. Does art reflect life or does life reflect art? We shall see.

 

My copy of The Da Vinci Code has arrived now. I'm looking forward to all of the intrigue and suspence that has been promised

[Canadian Paul 97]

Finished "One Day in the Life of Ivan Denisovich" by ol' Soly. Much better read than "Gulag," gets his point across without having to trodge through all the evidence and detail. Not good if you want the full scale and scope of the Gulags, but if you just want an idea, it's a good and quick read.

 

One annoything thing: it's all one chapter, so it's very difficult to find appropriate breaks. I read that Gabriel-Garcia Marquez book that was like, 300 pages and 3 sentences, so it didn't bother me too much, but fare thee warned anyhow.

[Brinsworth House Baiter 12]

I'm half way through reading 'Popcorn' by Ben Elton. It's proving to be quite a good read. Does art reflect life or does life reflect art? We shall see.

 

My copy of The Da Vinci Code has arrived now. I'm looking forward to all of the intrigue and suspence that has been promised

 

I read Popcorn a while ago and I thought it was very good indeed. If only Elton would stick to novels and forget trying to be 'right on funny' on stage. His books have never failed to please me.

 

Judging from the date of your post I'm guessing you've finished the Da Vinci Code by now, so what did you think? I trust my recommendation served well?

 

And "My copy of The Da Vinci Code has arrived now." ? I presume you mean via Amazon or such like, or were you sat at your PC in the drawing room next to the ornate log fire when the butler brought it in, slightly warmed on a silver platter?

 

Brazo, Six, such decadence has to be admired. It's what once made this shores great and ran an empire you know.

 

Toodle pip!

[Six 23]

I read Popcorn a while ago and I thought it was very good indeed. If only Elton would stick to novels and forget trying to be 'right on funny' on stage. His books have never failed to please me.

 

Judging from the date of your post I'm guessing you've finished the Da Vinci Code by now, so what did you think? I trust my recommendation served well?

 

I know StarCrossed will be upset with me, but I really do have to agree with you on the Ben Elton front. I never found him entertaining as a comedian, but his books are very addictive. I actually finished Popcorn and went on to read Dead Famous. A brilliant story- murder, suspense, sex, comedy... excellent stuff.

When I was almost finished with Dead Famous, I was given a copy of a Louis Theroux book, based on his meetings in America. I am now half way through reading that one....

.... which is why I have yet to start reading the Da Vinci Code!

 

And "My copy of The Da Vinci Code has arrived now." ? I presume you mean via Amazon or such like, or were you sat at your PC in the drawing room next to the ornate log fire when the butler brought it in, slightly warmed on a silver platter?

 

You are quite right there; none of that Amazon rubbish. It's almost as if you can see right into my home...

[TLC 9]

Finished "One Day in the Life of Ivan Denisovich" by ol' Soly. Much better read than "Gulag," gets his point across without having to trodge through all the evidence and detail. Not good if you want the full scale and scope of the Gulags, but if you just want an idea, it's a good and quick read.

 

One annoying thing: it's all one chapter, so it's very difficult to find appropriate breaks. I read that Gabriel-Garcia Marquez book that was like, 300 pages and 3 sentences, so it didn't bother me too much, but fare thee warned anyhow.

I tried to read a book called The Cave by José Saramago (which won a nobel prize for literature don't you know?) but I couldn't read it due to it having almost no punctuation, I kept feeling like I needed to pause for breath even though I recently managed to stop having to read out loud and with my index finger tracking the words.

 

It was translated from Portugese, maybe the translator was paid per word and is some sort of militant union member and took the instruction a bit too literally? "Sorry mate, I only translate the words, if you read the contract properly, no offence. Now if you want punctuation too, that's gonna cost you extra 'cos that's a punctuator's work and although I can do it it's not in my job description so it'll be double time at least...."

 

Oh yes, I finished 'The Watchmen' graphic novel (grown up comic) and it's great. It's not your typical superhero Spiderman/Superman type stuff, much darker and more realistic in the main.

[Cowboy Ronnie 78]

It's not your typical superhero Spiderman/Superman type stuff, much darker and more realistic in the main.

 

 

I say there's a trend toward too much darkness in superheroes and comic books today. All this "my parents were killed when I was a child and I'm carrying so much pain and suffering." Get over it already. They should go back to the Batman of the 60's TV show, with lots of bright colours and those awesome "Biff" and "Zonk" effects popping up on screen. And Burgess Meredith could out-Penguin Danny DeVito any day of the week. Even from his grave, where (as predicted on the DL) he's been since 1997.

[Boudicca 702]

They should go back to the Batman of the 60's TV show, with lots of bright colours and those awesome "Biff" and "Zonk" effects popping up on screen.

 

Not to mention the outrageous campness, Catwoman's oufit and the endless tying people up!

 

(Sorry. I thought I was in the chat there. I'll get me cloak)

[Star Crossed 33]

Not to mention the outrageous campness, Catwoman's oufit and the endless tying people up!

 

(Sorry. I thought I was in the chat there. I'll get me cloak)

Shiver me timbers, that's outrageous! And from a Mod, 'n' all!

 

Brace her across that cannon and give her 20 licks of the cat! Aaarr...

[TLC 9]

It's not your typical superhero Spiderman/Superman type stuff, much darker and more realistic in the main.

 

 

I say there's a trend toward too much darkness in superheroes and comic books today. All this "my parents were killed when I was a child and I'm carrying so much pain and suffering." Get over it already. They should go back to the Batman of the 60's TV show, with lots of bright colours and those awesome "Biff" and "Zonk" effects popping up on screen. And Burgess Meredith could out-Penguin Danny DeVito any day of the week. Even from his grave, where (as predicted on the DL) he's been since 1997.

True, but this is a one off story written from the point of view that they're just vigilantes in spandex with no special powers (in the main) and from more of a real world perspective rather than Gotham City or Metropolis; it's set in the mid '80's with the Cold War and the Afghanistan war going on. Hence this one is bound to be a bit dark & broody.

 

Otherwise, I'd go for lashings of Biff! and Zonk! every time. As a separate story it works well, but I think the writers of Batman etc. should perhaps set some stories when it's not raining or dark and take the characters off steroids.

[in eternum+ 22]

I recently finished reading The Book of Illusions by Paul Auster, which I bought at ASDA for £3.77.

 

I'm not entirely sure how to describe it although according to the book's front cover, The Times describes it as "an act of creative magic". There's virtually no dialogue, and is a first-person narrative jobbie; it's one person telling another person's story in intricate detail, interspersed with the narrator's own journey from and through angst, towards what can only be described as 'the other side of angst'.

 

It's quite pedantic and to be honest I wasn't entirely sure I was going to be able to finish it; round about page 300 of 321 I put it down and started to read something else, but then was drawn back for some reason. I don't know - it's pedantic and slow-moving yet somehow also compelling. Not sure if I would recommend it to anyone. I also don't know if I think it's a good read or not. Well written, I suppose, though I'm not entirely sure about that either. Maybe the point of it is that the story manifests ephemeral properties through the narrative, turning itself into an illusion, in which case it's more of a reflexive comment on itself than on the story it purports to tell, in which case it's bloody well written. But I have a feeling that might be reading too much into it.

 

With regard to comics graphic novels, Spiderman has always been my tip-top favourite, although I did go through a Cerberus phase in high school.

[Brinsworth House Baiter 12]

I read Popcorn a while ago and I thought it was very good indeed. If only Elton would stick to novels and forget trying to be 'right on funny' on stage. His books have never failed to please me.

 

Judging from the date of your post I'm guessing you've finished the Da Vinci Code by now, so what did you think? I trust my recommendation served well?

 

I know StarCrossed will be upset with me, but I really do have to agree with you on the Ben Elton front. I never found him entertaining as a comedian, but his books are very addictive. I actually finished Popcorn and went on to read Dead Famous. A brilliant story- murder, suspense, sex, comedy... excellent stuff.

When I was almost finished with Dead Famous, I was given a copy of a Louis Theroux book, based on his meetings in America. I am now half way through reading that one....

.... which is why I have yet to start reading the Da Vinci Code!

 

And "My copy of The Da Vinci Code has arrived now." ? I presume you mean via Amazon or such like, or were you sat at your PC in the drawing room next to the ornate log fire when the butler brought it in, slightly warmed on a silver platter?

 

You are quite right there; none of that Amazon rubbish. It's almost as if you can see right into my home...

 

Ah... Look out the window...see that strange shape behind that bush, with the descending sunlight glinting off the glass of binoculars? Well, that's the Pooka- I told him it was Tessa Wyatt's address.

[Lady Grendel 139]

I know StarCrossed will be upset with me, but I really do have to agree with you on the Ben Elton front. I never found him entertaining as a comedian, but his books are very addictive. I actually finished Popcorn and went on to read Dead Famous. A brilliant story- murder, suspense, sex, comedy... excellent stuff.

 

I read Dead Famous a while ago and agree with you Six, it was excellent, I'm just about to read Past Mortem and I must try and get Popcorn from the library. I disagree with you about Ben Elton though, I've seen him live 4 or 5 times and found him very entertaining although I don't think he comes across as well on the TV.

[Tempus Fugit 214]

Incompetence, by Rob Grant, very funny and satirical and worryingly quite possible. The EU being what it is.

[The Pooka 26]

Perfume by Patrick Suskind. Brilliantly written. A novel focused on the imagery of smell rather than that of vision or sound.

 

18th century Paris - Grenouille, an amoral grotesque with a gifted hooter - becomes top parfumier - murder and horror on the way - the finale is worth the wait.

 

Grenouille puts the Brut in Brute.

[The Pooka 26]

Ah... Look out the window...see that strange shape behind that bush, with the descending sunlight glinting off the glass of binoculars? Well, that's the Pooka- I told him it was Tessa Wyatt's address.

 

Not funny Brinsworth. That was good stalking time wasted!

[Magere Hein 1,399]

Perfume by Patrick Suskind. Brilliantly written. A novel focused on the imagery of smell rather than that of vision or sound.

 

18th century Paris - Grenouille, an amoral grotesque with a gifted hooter - becomes top parfumier - murder and horror on the way - the finale is worth the wait.

 

Grenouille puts the Brut in Brute.

Years ago I've read it, in a Dutch translation. It's brilliant.

 

Süskind's The Story of Mr Sommer is also an excellent read.

 

regards,

Hein

[The Pooka 26]

Perfume by Patrick Suskind. Brilliantly written. A novel focused on the imagery of smell rather than that of vision or sound.

 

18th century Paris - Grenouille, an amoral grotesque with a gifted hooter - becomes top parfumier - murder and horror on the way - the finale is worth the wait.

 

Grenouille puts the Brut in Brute.

Years ago I've read it, in a Dutch translation. It's brilliant.

 

Süskind's The Story of Mr Sommer is also an excellent read.

 

regards,

Hein

English imperialism! You've reminded me, MH, that the original was in German. We English assume that all books are written in the mother tongue.

 

I was once upstaged by a German academic. When I said that I was immensely impressed by 'Love in the time of Cholera' by Garcia Marquez, he told me that he had found it an extraordinary read in the original Spanish but had been disappointed by the German and English translations (pretentious twat). I didn't like to admit that it hadn't occurred to me that it was originally written in another language.

[Magere Hein 1,399]

I was once upstaged by a German academic. When I said that I was immensely impressed by 'Love in the time of Cholera' by Garcia Marquez, he told me that he had found it an extraordinary read in the original Spanish but had been disappointed by the German and English translations (pretentious twat). I didn't like to admit that it hadn't occurred to me that it was originally written in another language.

Strange, the name of the author often gives a hint. Of course, the main literary corpus of Dutch fits easily in a single bookcase, so most Dutch are aware of the fact that most books in the shop are translations.

 

If I can read a work in its original language I prefer to do that. I could have read Perfume in German, but I borrowed the Dutch translation from a friend, so that never happened. I've read some Grass, Böll and Goethe in German.

 

In general Dutch translations of literary works are good, but translations of popular work tend to be lousy. I'm gradually buying the originals of the SciFi novels I read as a teenager and it's amazing how much gets lost in translation. Cheap prices make for cheap goods, I suppose.

 

Unfortunately my Spanish is limited to ordering beer and some swearing, so I read Marquez in translation. Mebby I should learn Spanish. It's not that hard.

 

regards,

Hein

[TLC 9]

Incompetence, by Rob Grant, very funny and satirical and worryingly quite possible. The EU being what it is.

I agree, I read it some time last year and it was pretty funny. I was going to say 'it's political correctness gone mad!' but that'll be one short step from ordering Richard Littlejohn books for reading, rather than the more obvious uses such as burning or arse-wiping. But not both, unless you're in the army or play rugby.

 

You couldn't make it up!

 

I have just finished reading 'Making History' by Stephen Fry - I've been meaning to plunge into his back catalogue (insert carry-on joke here) for some time having only ever read 'The Liar' before. I must say it's a quality book which - surprisingly for me at least - is mostly about time travel. Still, whatever he writes about you know it'll be well written, funny and outspoken but without said points of view being rammed down your throat (next carry-on joke) Ben Elton style.

 

I shall be buying the rest of his stuff as and when I remember to.