Drunk? Bored?? Psychopath???

[Anubis the Jackal 77]

In my youth, I'd take great pleasure hiding in the hedges at the side of a fairway which were out of sight of the teeing off golfers due to a slight rise. Every time a ball would trundle over the slope, me or a friend would dart out and nick it and wait for the inevitable frustrated rants from the shitbags that polluted the course. Ah, What larks Pip!

[The Four Horsemen 26]

So it was YOU!!!

[Banshees Scream 110]

It's been so boring around here lately. I want to smash my head through the computer screen. I really need to raise hell. I'm going to provoke and offend all of you. I mean something has to be done. It's for my entertainment. Now i'll start one by one. Maryportfuncity has to get rid of his signiture. F**k Maryport. It just doesn't interest me. Then there is The Four Horsemen, who trys to set high standards for himself probably, and sticks it to others that he feels is of a lower class. I mean I don't know what his deal is, maybe he sleeps on the wrong side of the bed, or he thinks he's beyond successful, the bottom line has to be him getting his life together. And he knows it. Then there is the Foot Ball thread. Everybody loves it like there mother because they have no sports in the UK. That's like Deathlists main attraction. F**k that thread, if it was up to me i'd place it right in the trashcan. A bunch of 'soccer junkies'. I think IE should go back to her original avatar. This 500 pound hermit doesn't impress me.

[TLC 9]

Golf is sh*t, etc.

I quite like playing golf, it's a shame that there's all the nonsense that goes with it. I'm sure plus fours were invented specifically by golf-haters to make players look like twats, and they definitely succeeded.

 

I think my very favourite type of golfer is the one who plays once, then spends thousands of pounds on the best clubs, stupidest attire, buggies, monogrammed golf balls, laser-guided range finders etc. before they learn how to play.

 

When they hack their first tee shot straight into the water, shortly followed by a sizeable lump of turf, it's all I can do not to laugh out loud, particularly if they're genuinely angry about it.

 

For me, golf is a chance to have a relaxing smoke, chat to a couple of mates and have a quiet beer or two afterwards. Unusually, it's also a time for me to have a bit of a walk in pleasant surroundings, get some fresh air (except in my immediate vicinity where it's generally a little more fragrant) and have the phone switched off for a few hours.

 

Oh, and you hit the ball occasionally, which can either be great fun or a crock of sh*t, depending on where it goes. I tend to get less stressed the more holes I play, I refer you to the start of the last paragraph.

 

At my local public course, I find the occasional doughnut tyre-marks on the greens just add to the putting challenge, and the overall charm of the experience.

 

Anybody who wathces the golf channel* is clearly a tosser of the highest order. It seems to be a continuous loop of fat failed-pro yanks in shorts demonstrating some new magic club that allows amateurs to slice the ball that extra 10 yards further into someone's garden. It doesn't even show any golf tournaments, such is the budget of the channel.

 

To be fair, most of the presenters have nice teeth.

 

*My old flatmate used to watch it, honest.

[Six 23]

... I'm going to provoke and offend all of you. ...[snip]... Then there is the Foot Ball thread. Everybody loves it like there mother because they have no sports in the UK. That's like Deathlists main attraction. F**k that thread, if it was up to me i'd place it right in the trashcan...

 

Here here!

 

So, Banshees, are you going to provoke and offend all of us, or just some? I agree that it's been quite slow around here recently and I will join you in a round of ' Who can be the most offensive?' I'm not particularly good at it normally, but I'm having a bad week and need to get some frustration off my chest. So, shall we begin?

[Banshees Scream 110]

... I'm going to provoke and offend all of you. ...[snip]... Then there is the Foot Ball thread. Everybody loves it like there mother because they have no sports in the UK. That's like Deathlists main attraction. F**k that thread, if it was up to me i'd place it right in the trashcan...

 

Here here!

 

So, Banshees, are you going to provoke and offend all of us, or just some? I agree that it's been quite slow around here recently and I will join you in a round of ' Who can be the most offensive?' I'm not particularly good at it normally, but I'm having a bad week and need to get some frustration off my chest. So, shall we begin?

 

'sleeping, eating, drinking, reading ... anything with an ' ing ' actually.'

 

Your a woman right?

[Six 23]

'sleeping, eating, drinking, reading ... anything with an ' ing ' actually.'

 

Your a woman right?

 

Yup, last time I looked. There are many things with an 'ing' on and I'm very good at lots of them.

 

Nagging. Moaning. Crying. Cleaning. Ironing. I'm just getting the list started, I'm sure you would have suggested these things yourself, eh Banshees?

 

[Boudicca 702]

Here here!

 

Where?

[Six 23]

 

Here here!

 

Where?

 

Here here!

 

 

 

[Boudicca 702]

 

Here here!

 

Where?

 

Here here!

 

 

 

 

Hear hear!

 

Get some sleep, Mrs Six

[Six 23]

You know, I knew something was wrong with that, but my brain just wasn't working at full speed.

I think I should get some sleep. Maybe I will when the children are older?

[Canadian Paul 97]

You know, I knew something was wrong with that, but my brain just wasn't working at full speed.

I think I should get some sleep. Maybe I will when the children are older?

 

If it makes you feel any better, I made that mistake somewhere on these forums too (it probably doesn't).

 

Oh yeah and uh.. fighting... cock balls and all that.

[Banshees Scream 110]

 

'sleeping, eating, drinking, reading ... anything with an ' ing ' actually.'

 

Your a woman right?

 

Yup, last time I looked. There are many things with an 'ing' on and I'm very good at lots of them.

 

Nagging. Moaning. Crying. Cleaning. Ironing. I'm just getting the list started, I'm sure you would have suggested these things yourself, eh Banshees?

 

 

Your married. God bless your soul.

[Six 23]

I looked at your profile, Banshees, to see what your interests were, and you appear to have none. That's a shame. Interests can be quite... interesting when you're really interested in them.

 

_____

 

 

Yes, CP, it does make me feel better that you made the same mistake as me. If a person of your esteem and calibre can get it wrong, then I'll be fine

 

... oh yes, spit spit and grrrr. Just staying on topic.

[Banshees Scream 110]

I looked at your profile, Banshees, to see what your interests were, and you appear to have none. That's a shame. Interests can be quite... interesting when you're really interested in them.

 

_____

 

I'll get to that.

[Bijou in Queen's Crown 2]

Eric Morecombe had his first heart attack aged - I think - 44, he was a heavy smoker for a long time and the care in those days wasnt' a patch on the current medical knowledge. O'Grady is unlikely to see his eighties but could go on working for decades yet.

 

 

That's very morbid. He is very fit for his age. It's because heart trouble does run in his family.

[Handrejka 1,903]

Eric Morecombe had his first heart attack aged - I think - 44, he was a heavy smoker for a long time and the care in those days wasnt' a patch on the current medical knowledge. O'Grady is unlikely to see his eighties but could go on working for decades yet.

 

 

That's very morbid.

 

You do know which site you're posting on don't you?

[Bijou in Queen's Crown 2]

Yes, but still I don't want an age limit on him.

[Handrejka 1,903]

Yes, but still I don't want an age limit on him.

 

Well you started the thread. Now really if you didn't want people speculating on his demise, which we tend to do on this forum, you shouldn't have posted

[Bijou in Queen's Crown 2]

I started this topic months ago and it was blocked so don't blame me, blame the person who unblocked it.

[Handrejka 1,903]

I started this topic months ago and it was blocked so don't blame me, blame the person who unblocked it.

 

There wouldn't have been a thread to unblock if you hadn't started it. The person who reopened the thread was posting relevant, topical information.

[Bijou in Queen's Crown 2]

I can start topics about what I want thankyou very much.

[Handrejka 1,903]

I can start topics about what I want thankyou very much.

 

Indeed you can, but this is deathlist.net so if the idea of us discussing your idol's death upsets you, you really need to think about if this forum is your thing. Also nobody was saying his death is imminent, we said next ten years or so, anything could happen in this time.

 

Just trying to be helpful here I wasn't sure from your posts if you were clued up about we're about here.

[Bijou in Queen's Crown 2]

Of course I know what this forum is about. There's 'death' in the name of it. I just don't like thinking about his death. I know it comes to all of us but him I would rather not think about. I know it's going to happen so I don't need it rubbed in my face.

[Handrejka 1,903]

Of course I know what this forum is about. There's 'death' in the name of it. I just don't like thinking about his death. I know it comes to all of us but him I would rather not think about. I know it's going to happen so I don't need it rubbed in my face.

 

 

Having had a look at your previous posts you don't seem to like us discussing anyone's deaths. Again I state if you are so easily upset perhaps you should think about giving this place a miss for a while.

We are not rubbing your face in anything, none of the posts about his health was aimed at you, also it's not as if we've said he's likely to die anytime soon so there is nothing to get upset about.

 

Now if you decide to keep posting here try and take the site in the spirit it was intended and find something to enjoy here.

 

I think this thread has served its purpose now. Any chance it could be locked again mods?