Football

[Brinsworth House Baiter 12]

Zinedine's in more trouble.

 

I can't find a link, but Sophie Ellis Baxtor has been found dead in his French apartment.

 

A Gendarme spokesman last night said, 'Oui, it was murder on Zidane's floor.'

[Godot 149]

Play up and play the game:

 

http://linuxteam.at/~philip/zidane.html

[maryportfuncity 10,673]

Sophie Ellis Baxtor

 

It's Sophie Ellis BEXTOR and - frankly - she needs all the help she can get these days. Last time I looked you could buy both her albums second hand on Amazon for 1 penny each.

[Josco 49]

Play up and play the game:

 

http://linuxteam.at/~philip/zidane.html

 

Great stuff!

[Captain Oates 21]

Zinedine's in more trouble.

 

I can't find a link, but Sophie Ellis Baxtor has been found dead in his French apartment.

 

A Gendarme spokesman last night said, 'Oui, it was murder on Zidane's floor.'

[Canadian Paul 97]

World Cup official suicides.

 

I wonder why?

[DevonDeathTrip 2,365]

World Cup official suicides.

 

I wonder why?

 

My guess is that life had lost it's meaning once the World Cup ended, although I'm amazed he decided to die before the World Cup Final had actually finished. He was already unconscious when extra-time kicked off and missed Zidane's red card. As did the police and ambulance staff who had to attend the incident, rather inconsiderate of him methinks.

 

And another thing, if Zidane knew it would be his last match, why didn't he headbutt Marco Matarazzi in the face when the red mist descended. Any suspension he received would have been irrelevant. I can't help thinking that it had been Roy Keane instead of Zidane, Matarazzi would still be in hospital.

[Cowboy Ronnie 78]

You have to love the Italians. Shameless, the lot of 'em. The justice minister and that slaphead Berlusconi (who also happens to own AC Milan, one of the teams under investigation) are now suggesting that because Italy won the World Cup the clubs threatened with point deductions and/or relegation to Serie B (or C) should be exonerated.

 

http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/football/europe/5164194.stm

 

I also note some Frenchie lawyer plans to sue FIFA on the theory that the 4th official only saw Zidane's head butt on Materrazi on video, and thus the subsequent red card was invalidly issued. He merely seeks to have the final replayed.

 

http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2006/socc...enge/index.html

 

Yes, I am quite sure that is what will happen. They will get all the players, and the refs, and the fans, back to Berlin, and have one big do-over.

[maryportfuncity 10,673]

This report says relegation and 15 point deductions, gonna see some top talent at reduced prices flocking to the Premiership pretty soon.

[Brinsworth House Baiter 12]

Sophie Ellis Baxtor

 

It's Sophie Ellis BEXTOR and - frankly - she needs all the help she can get these days. Last time I looked you could buy both her albums second hand on Amazon for 1 penny each.

 

I'll take your word for it, concerning the mis-spelled surname.

 

You know, Mary, this is the second time in four months that you have corrected a joke which I have posted and it strikes me that this online heckling is knocking my confidence somewhat. Which is a shame because I have now cancelled my debut performance at Jongleurs, so you have deprived the world of another stand up comedian who can't tell jokes.

 

Which is probably a good thing. I shall take up stripping instead.

[Octopus of Odstock 2,206]

BHB, this'll be everywhere in a short while, but the BBC breaking news is reporting David O'Leary has quit as Aston Villa boss......

[Brinsworth House Baiter 12]

Apologies for the tardiness of my reply, Octopus, but I have been crying into my beer of late. Not due to the Irish twat leaving, because lord knows every Holtender had had enough of him, but because of the general malaise and decline of the club simply will not cease until Doug Ellis also goes.

 

Or dies.

 

Oh well, Doug's done it again and found himself a smokescreen. Now we can all spend the rest of the close season wondering whose head will be next on the managerial chopping block and before we know it, it'll be the start of the season and half of last season's squad will have been sold, there'll be no new signings, we'll have a new 'yes man' installed as manager and the whole F*****g merry go round will start again.

 

Sorry to waffle on, but it is a subject dear to my heart. I just have one last thing to say:

 

F**k OFF ELLIS! GO THROUGH THAT EXIT WITH O'LEARY!

 

Not that that he can hear me of course- the old bastard has probably rushed back to his sunbed in Majorca with a hard-on now he's despatched another manager.

[maryportfuncity 10,673]

If a sick old 82 year old is getting a hard on I might reconsider my intention not to linger.

 

Don't envy you Doug Ellis though, it's obvious when so many decent managers do nowt at Villa that the problems are in the boardroom and not the dug out. It was rumoured that O'Leary would have been reduced to 'strengthening' the squad with bargain buys from the lower leagues so the good news in his departure is that his rumoured swoop to Carlisle for Michael Bridges and goalie Kieren Westwood is obviously off. You might get lucky this year bagging Martin O'Neill as manager before Ellis' health finally gives out and/or a consortium make the oldster an offer he can't refuse.

 

Hang in there BHB, we did at Carlisle and we're reaping the rewards now.

[Brinsworth House Baiter 12]

Thanks for your sympathy, Mary.

 

I don't know whether to laugh, cry, slit my wrists at your comparing the once mighty Villa to Carlisle.

 

Thanks, mate.

 

You've made it all so much more clearer to me now.

 

Bastard.

 

[Bald rick 9]

... once mighty Villa ...

?

[Brinsworth House Baiter 12]

... once mighty Villa ...

?

 

1981-1982.

 

And have a look at about 100 years before that. Christ, we were like Man U then. Only with longer shorts and hobnail boots.

[Bald rick 9]

1981-1982.

 

And have a look at about 100 years before that. Christ, we were like Man U then. Only with longer shorts and hobnail boots.

Hmmm. I would have thought mightiness would require sweeping all before them, rather than winning something significant one season in the 20th century and one season in the 19th century. The Real Madrid team, for example, who won the first 5 European Cups, may be considered by some to have been mighty.

[Octopus of Odstock 2,206]

Well, whilst trawling the DL history to view potential candidates for the list, I've come across a whole host of interesting threads - but this one - is bizarre.

 

I lived in Dunstable for 15 years - often went to Creasey Park to watch the lads play. Know Kerry Dixon (Ex Reading & England) quite well.

 

They got relegated last season as well - that's two relegations in a row.

 

 

The only DL link I can think of is George Best, Jeff Astle & Peter Sillett, all International players played for them. Trouble is, they're all dead.

 

Hold on, Barry Fry also played for them! He's still alive (just)

[DevonDeathTrip 2,365]

Well, whilst trawling the DL history to view potential candidates for the list, I've come across a whole host of interesting threads - but this one - is bizarre.

 

I lived in Dunstable for 15 years - often went to Creasey Park to watch the lads play. Know Kerry Dixon (Ex Reading & England) quite well.

 

They got relegated last season as well - that's two relegations in a row.

 

 

The only DL link I can think of is George Best, Jeff Astle & Peter Sillett, all International players played for them. Trouble is, they're all dead.

 

Hold on, Barry Fry also played for them! He's still alive (just)

 

I'm going to make a desperate attempt to turn this thread deathward. Was it not Barry Fry - a man with a history of heart problems, overweight and addicted to the dangerous adrenaline of football management - who persuaded former Deathlist favourite George Best to come out retirement and shine for Dunstable Town?

[Octopus of Odstock 2,206]

Yes it was.

Keeping it deathward, Best drank heavily in many Dunstable bars during his short spell here.

 

Keeping it even more deathward, Kerry Dixon lives there now & he is far more bloated than he used to be. Drink will do that. Financial problems too. Good man, great to know him, but he won't read this and I need to keep this thread as Deathly as possible.

 

The team are still going by the way, despite the two successive relegations.

 

If I think of any more living Dunstable linked suggestions, I'll add them. Gary Cooper went to school there (same as me - but some 80 yrs earlier) but he's long dead. Faye Tozer (Steps)... she seems too healthy to me

[Brinsworth House Baiter 12]

1981-1982.

 

And have a look at about 100 years before that. Christ, we were like Man U then. Only with longer shorts and hobnail boots.

Hmmm. I would have thought mightiness would require sweeping all before them, rather than winning something significant one season in the 20th century and one season in the 19th century. The Real Madrid team, for example, who won the first 5 European Cups, may be considered by some to have been mighty.

 

Hmmm. So winning the European Cup, the FA Cup seven times, etc. etc. doesn't, in any way at all, make a team mighty? You have to win the European Cup 5 times to even be considered by some as mighty?

 

Uh-huh.

 

And is just me, but does the word 'mightiness' put anyone else in mind of marmite on toast?

 

Hmmm!

[The Four Horsemen 26]

Kerry Dixon used to manage my local team but had leave when they went bust (obviously) - there was a story in our very exciting local paper that he was being questioned about tax evasion a few years back, don't know if that would have put extra strain on the old ticker......

[Banshees Scream 110]

Pidge, maybe we should add the name of Hemel Hempstead Town to that list.

3 managers70+ players

£100,000 in player’s wages

All in one season, for what? Relegation son.

I predict that you will become the Sheffield Wednesday of the Southern League. Boggins will have a clear out of his very expensive, but talentless players and slip straight back down to the South Mids Premier.

It's been emotional.

Hoping to bring this irrelevant thread back to something approximating DeathList territory, did they go through three managers because they all keeled over succumbing to the pressure of top-flight football?

 

This post is an absolute classic. Being so critical as a Deathlist representative. When off topic - going the distance and actually turning it around, in a morbid but correct manor. Job well done Honez.

[Octopus of Odstock 2,206]

Billy Walsh, former Manchester City legend has died. He had the rare honour of representing four countries internationally. Certainly won't see the likes of that happen again. Link here.

[DevonDeathTrip 2,365]

The ongoing crisis in the Middle East has forced Lebanon to pull out of the Asian Cup.