Room 101

[Tempus Fugit 214]

Tempus is attemping a comeback .. thanks to Skippers Rum? Maybe or maybe not.

 

Hello cipher. Is the battle lost and won?

[Rotten Ali 600]

Just been an item on radio 4 that it's National poetry day today...

 

Roses are red

Violets are blue

So goes the age old rhyme.

But I know roses are blue and violets are red

'cos I've seen 'em hanging on the line*.

 

Benny Hill circa 1975

 

[Cat O'Falk 3,290]

Just been an item on radio 4 that it's National poetry day today...

 

Roses are red

Violets are blue

So goes the age old rhyme.

But I know roses are blue and violets are red

'cos I've seen 'em hanging on the line*.

 

Benny Hill circa 1975

 

From The Beano/Dandy circa 1970:

 

Rose's all red

Violet's all blue

George's all pink

And Harry is too

Here you see why

They look strange today

Big tins of paint

And me with dad's spray.

 

It might have been in a Minnie the Minx story.

[Toast 16,140]

The boy stood on the burning deck,

Eating some cream crackers,

A flame shot up his trouser leg,

and burnt off both his knackers.

[Cat O'Falk 3,290]

The boy stood on the burning deck,

Eating some cream crackers,

A flame shot up his trouser leg,

and burnt off both his knackers.

 

Boy Blue stood on a burning deck, playing a game of cricket,

The ball rolled up his trouser leg, and he stumped his middle wicket. Judge Dread: Big Six.

[time 8,608]

The Boy Stood on The Burning Deck,

Playing A Game of Cricket

The Ball Rolled up his trouser leg

and stumped his middle wicket

 

 

Judge Dread 1972

 

Bugger. Too late!

[Phantom 2,533]

The arse-wipe that I have of a brother-in-law

 

In just this past month it was both his dad's 70th and his sister's 40th birthday.

Even though he knows what hobbies and interests each of them has, he bought his dad a $20 bag of chocolate, and he bought the same for his sister. When he handed her the present (which was unwrapped) he stated "I didn't know what to get you, so I got you the same as dad".

 

While I agree it's the thought that counts, he could at least have put a lot more thought when it comes to a milestone birthday.

 

For his dad's 60th birthday, he presented him with a DVD boxset of Clint Eastwood movies. Sounds good doesn't it? Well it would have been if the boxset weren't copies of the DVDs that he kept for himself.

[charon 4,943]

? Meh.

 

My brother hits 60 in December.

 

He won't get a thing, even though no fall outs etc. Ain't seen him since 1999 , no contact etc. Doesn't mean I don't wish him well, but presents are "how high can you pish contests" , pile o' poo.

[Phantom 2,533]

? Meh.

 

My brother hits 60 in December.

 

He won't get a thing, even though no fall outs etc. Ain't seen him since 1999 , no contact etc. Doesn't mean I don't wish him well, but presents are "how high can you pish contests" , pile o' poo.

 

Well that's a different story if you haven't seen someone in 15 years, but he only lives 10 minutes away from us and we see him a couple of times a month. For his niece's birthday one year, he borrowed some CDs by The Wiggles from the local library, photocopied the inlay booklet, ran off a copy of the CDs and gave her the copies. The photocopies were so bad, that you couldn't even read the tracklist on the CDs.

[charon 4,943]

It's the thought that counts...

[Phantom 2,533]

It's the thought that counts...

 

There was barely any thought involved

[Dr. Zorders 1,271]

It's the thought that counts...

 

There was barely any thought involved

 

Just ignore him (charon that is)

 

BTW I've had to suffer through that level of shite almost every single day I've known my mother, so....

He's obviously "not all there"....... (your brother in law that is)

[Phantom 2,533]

It's the thought that counts...

 

There was barely any thought involved

 

Just ignore him (charon that is)

 

BTW I've had to suffer through that level of shite almost every single day I've known my mother, so....

He's obviously "not all there"....... (your brother in law that is)

 

Well everyone makes excuses for him (my brother-in-law that is). Last year for one of his cousin's 30th birthday, he gave them an iced tea maker. Not a bad gift if it wasn't the one that he'd been using for the past couple of years and he just cleaned it up, put it back in the box he'd kept all this time and again didn't bother to wrap it up. The reason he gave them his old iced tea maker? Well it was because he'd bought himself a new one.

[Cat O'Falk 3,290]

It's the thought that counts...

 

There was barely any thought involved

 

Just ignore him (charon that is)

 

BTW I've had to suffer through that level of shite almost every single day I've known my mother, so....

He's obviously "not all there"....... (your brother in law that is)

From ever since I could remember until my 18th birthday, my mum gave me a birthday card with a football theme on the front; she was an avid football fan and she knew I couldn't stand the game.

On my 18th birthday I got up late and rushed out of the house having forgotten to look at my card. On getting back home that evening she started an argument and I opened the envelope to reveal a football themed card. I pointed out to her that she knew I hated football but every year I get a football card. The following year I got a card with a plane on the front having been a total aviation nut for at least 12 years.

I don't recollect ever receiving a birthday present during all those years.

[Phantom 2,533]

It's the thought that counts...

There was barely any thought involved

Just ignore him (charon that is) BTW I've had to suffer through that level of shite almost every single day I've known my mother, so.... He's obviously "not all there"....... (your brother in law that is)

From ever since I could remember until my 18th birthday, my mum gave me a birthday card with a football theme on the front; she was an avid football fan and she knew I couldn't stand the game. On my 18th birthday I got up late and rushed out of the house having forgotten to look at my card. On getting back home that evening she started an argument and I opened the envelope to reveal a football themed card. I pointed out to her that she knew I hated football but every year I get a football card. The following year I got a card with a plane on the front having been a total aviation nut for at least 12 years. I don't recollect ever receiving a birthday present during all those years.

 

That sounds like something my nan would have got for me, although she suffered from alzheimers for as long as I born. So it was my mum that would buy something on her behalf and just get my nan to sign the card or write the label.

[Dr. Zorders 1,271]

It's the thought that counts...

 

There was barely any thought involved

 

Just ignore him (charon that is)

 

BTW I've had to suffer through that level of shite almost every single day I've known my mother, so....

He's obviously "not all there"....... (your brother in law that is)

 

From ever since I could remember until my 18th birthday, my mum gave me a birthday card with a football theme on the front; she was an avid football fan and she knew I couldn't stand the game.

 

On my 18th birthday I got up late and rushed out of the house having forgotten to look at my card. On getting back home that evening she started an argument and I opened the envelope to reveal a football themed card. I pointed out to her that she knew I hated football but every year I get a football card. The following year I got a card with a plane on the front having been a total aviation nut for at least 12 years.

 

I don't recollect ever receiving a birthday present during all those years.

 

Wow.....fuckin ell.

 

Well, I never got shafted that badly at birthdays but the other 364 days of the year must pull my mum at least equal with that, and probably many miles further ahead.

 

Don't feel like going much further into detail at the moment cos I'm in a good mood today, but, this sounds like a hell of an entertaining "contest" for a DL con though.

[Lard Bazaar 3,799]

I'm not even going to enter into this competition of 'who's got the evillest brother in law' as I would beat you all hands down. My mother's a cunt as well as it happens.

[msc 18,477]

I'm not even going to enter into this competition of 'who's got the evillest brother in law' as I would beat you all hands down. My mother's a cunt as well as it happens.

 

The Brother in law you mentioned before? I am sorry to hear he hasn't had a unfortunate appointment with a rabid dog wielding a machete yet, to say the very least.

[Phantom 2,533]

I'm not even going to enter into this competition of 'who's got the evillest brother in law' as I would beat you all hands down. My mother's a cunt as well as it happens.

 

I wouldn't say my brother-in-law is evil. Just clueless.

[Cat O'Falk 3,290]

People around the corner from me who insist on parking their sodding car in front of their ground floor garage instead of putting it in.

 

 

[Phantom 2,533]

People around the corner from me who insist on parking their sodding car in front of their ground floor garage instead of putting it in.

 

Perhaps their garage is full of junk.

My garage is a 2-car garage, but it's currently full of junk that I've been gradually clearing out each week. I don't want to hire a skip, so I've slowly been disposing of stuff each week when the bin men come round. There's enough space at the moment for one of us to park inside, but the other parks in the driveway.

[Lard Bazaar 3,799]

People around the corner from me who insist on parking their sodding car in front of their ground floor garage instead of putting it in.

 

 

 

This type of thing really fucking winds me up. How does this selfish cunt expect someone in a wheelchair, or someone with a pushchair and toddler, to get past? Oh yes, that's right, he expects them to have to go out into the road. When I had young kids in the pushchair and people parked on the path causing me an obstruction, they usually found their wing mirrors on the floor when they returned to their cars. Fucking twats.

[Phantom 2,533]

People around the corner from me who insist on parking their sodding car in front of their ground floor garage instead of putting it in.

 

 

 

This type of thing really fucking winds me up. How does this selfish cunt expect someone in a wheelchair, or someone with a pushchair and toddler, to get past? Oh yes, that's right, he expects them to have to go out into the road. When I had young kids in the pushchair and people parked on the path causing me an obstruction, they usually found their wing mirrors on the floor when they returned to their cars. Fucking twats.

 

I agree that's totally selfish, he should get a ticket for causing an obstruction. I can't really see the rest of the street, but it looks like there are parking spaces on the other side of the road unless they only permit parking on one side.

[Cat O'Falk 3,290]

People around the corner from me who insist on parking their sodding car in front of their ground floor garage instead of putting it in.

 

 

 

This type of thing really fucking winds me up. How does this selfish cunt expect someone in a wheelchair, or someone with a pushchair and toddler, to get past? Oh yes, that's right, he expects them to have to go out into the road. When I had young kids in the pushchair and people parked on the path causing me an obstruction, they usually found their wing mirrors on the floor when they returned to their cars. Fucking twats.

 

I agree that's totally selfish, he should get a ticket for causing an obstruction. I can't really see the rest of the street, but it looks like there are parking spaces on the other side of the road unless they only permit parking on one side.

 

There are double yellow lines on the opposite side of the road, however, the only buildings on that side are factories converted to residential and they have their own off-road huge car park. They don't park on the street because they would then have to walk through the car park to gain access to the property.

 

[Dr. Zorders 1,271]

Private Eye magazine.

 

Any DLers still read it? I've been finding it really dull in the last few months..... okay, years....... and I'm not just saying that cos they've been upping their anti-UKIPism recently. Not even "Dumb Britain" and the Colemanballs section make me laugh any more. I wish it would stop (dis)gracing our doormat.