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Tell jokes about comedic events that have happened in your life.

 

Okay. I once had sex with a dwarf.

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Tell jokes about comedic events that have happened in your life.

 

Okay. I once had sex with a dwarf.

 

Jesus Christ man, Was she under 4ft tall? F**k!

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Tell jokes about comedic events that have happened in your life.

 

Okay. I once had sex with a dwarf.

 

Jesus Christ man, Was she under 4ft tall? F**k!

 

:banghead:

 

Affirmative, but I can assure you that she was 'of age' as gentlemen of my persuasion say. She looked like that dwarven bint in Total Recall.

 

Horny, but comedic.

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I have never had sex with a dwarf :banghead: but I did once get hit on the head by a potato as I was walking along the street.

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I have never had sex with a dwarf :banghead: but I did once get hit on the head by a potato as I was walking along the street.

 

My daughter found a huge onion on the beach at Southend.

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In my student days, I once fell over in my kitchen and landed on a courgette :referee:. Of course, the doctors & nurses in the emergency department of my local hospital didn't believe my story :banghead:.

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I have never had sex with a dwarf :banghead: but I did once get hit on the head by a potato as I was walking along the street.

My daughter found a huge onion on the beach at Southend.

I once found a dead rabbit in the sea!

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I couldn't pee after having my appendix removed so had to have a cathater fitted. When the nurse came to take it out she said she liked to think she was starting a lawnmower. It fair made my eyes water.

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I fell down the stairs on a bus and landed on someones shopping, squashing all their fruit and yoghut. It wasn't much fun at the time...

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I have never had sex with a dwarf :banghead: but I did once get hit on the head by a potato as I was walking along the street.

 

I've never had sex with a dwarf either yet. But Kenny Baker's wife (also a dwarf) did try to chat up my boyfriend once

 

Oh and a seagull once dropped a bagel on my head. And I got crapped on by a pigeon in France. Is it any I hate birds

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I've never played soccer, but if I had...

 

(dedicated to OoO, y'ol' bugger!)

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I once got hit by a van when its brakes failed. The backpack I was carrying saved me from a nasty collision with the kerb. Strangely enough it had a few tins of food in it, but it didn't hurt me.

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Ice cream man was found dead in his van the other day covered in hundreds and thousands.

 

Police say he topped himself.............

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I couldn't pee after having my appendix removed so had to have a cathater fitted. When the nurse came to take it out she said she liked to think she was starting a lawnmower. It fair made my eyes water.

 

 

 

:o:banghead::referee::party::old::):D:D:D

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There's also the tale of the bloke who drowned himself in Pledge furniture polish - terrible end but a lovely finish

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I've never had sex with a dwarf either. Actually, the only time I tried chatting it up with a dwarf at a party, I was drunk and my back hurt and the only reason we saw one another was because I was sitting on the floor. Started a drunken conversation with her, and was then c**kblocked by a female friend of mine. Tried later in the evening to hook up with that friend, but she was having none of it. That dwarf has gone on to do reality TV (Charla from the Amazing Race for those keeping score), and I'm here posting this message.

 

Where was I, oh, working at the psych hospital...plenty of funny stories from that place. Dinnertime on the geriatric ward - plenty of demented people. One evening, a demented woman got irritated...over what, i'll never know, but she had am 8oz carton of milk in her hand. She decided to toss the milk on me and rather than lifting her arm enough to hit me in the face with it, she tossed the milk all over the crotch of my shorts. All I could think was, "great, it's 5pm, and I'm here until 11pm, and I'm going to have to go throgh this shift looking like I pi$$ed myself."

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What exactly are the height specifications of dwarfs (or dwarves)?

 

I haven't had too many comical incidents, unless you count driving my bike into a harbour. At night. Or perhaps the old "fart in a telephone box just before you leave" routine and being yelled at by the next user?

 

regards,

Hein

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I've never played soccer, but if I had...

 

(dedicated to OoO, y'ol' bugger!)

 

Oi, less of the old! :banghead:

 

To try & stop Phanton's renedition of the entire Two Ronnies back catalogue of jokes, I can offer that I once stuck a biscuit foil wrapper up my nose & needed emergency surgery to remove it.

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not sure what the height specifications for a dwarf would be, but the shortest girl I had sex with at college was 4ft 9. cute girl, large breasts and about the same height when she was laying down

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What exactly are the height specifications of dwarfs (or dwarves)?

 

regards,

Hein

 

4 ft 10 and under according to wiki

 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dwarfism

 

Yes, but we all know how reliable Wiki is :banghead:

 

If it's true though, then I've come about as close as you can get to hooking up with one without actually doing it (4'11" was her height).

 

She didn't seem all that short, but she was about like Phantom's girl.

 

Bridget the Midget, on the other hand, is a bit more strange when you walk into your apartment and your suitemates are watching it on TV. :referee:

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What exactly are the height specifications of dwarfs (or dwarves)?

 

regards,

Hein

 

4 ft 10 and under according to wiki

 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dwarfism

 

Yes, but we all know how reliable Wiki is :banghead:

 

If it's true though, then I've come about as close as you can get to hooking up with one without actually doing it (4'11" was her height).

 

She didn't seem all that short, but she was about like Phantom's girl.

 

Bridget the Midget, on the other hand, is a bit more strange when you walk into your apartment and your suitemates are watching it on TV. :referee:

 

Aye but Little People of America says the same thing

http://www.lpaonline.org/resources_faq.html

 

She wasn't a Welsh girl called Kath was she CP?. One of my best friends from a few years ago was built like that and she never wanted for men, always got good looking guys too..

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Aye but Little People of America says the same thing

http://www.lpaonline.org/resources_faq.html

 

She wasn't a Welsh girl called Kath was she CP?. One of my best friends from a few years ago was built like that and she never wanted for men, always got good looking guys too..

 

Unless you live in California, most guys in most places of the world go after girls like that, at least I've found. In California, however, the girl has to look like someone ripped a decaying corpse from the ground, dyed its hair blond, sent it through a tanning booth and then gave it plastic breast-enhancement surgery (if nothing else) and a workout routine. It just isn't loving if you don't get speared by a rib or two during every hug you give them. :banghead:

 

As for the being a Dwarf at 4'10" or under, I guess they have to set the limit somewhere, so I'll take their word for it. I'd hate to be the one to give them the short end of the stick.

 

...

 

 

I won't even bother with my coat... :referee:

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I'd hate to be the one to give them the short end of the stick.

 

You left yourself open for this one - I don't think we needed to know about your anatomical shortcomings. :referee:

 

Just kidding.

 

Don't know what it is about women with dwarfism (not just barely under the 4'10" mark)...I guess it's kinda like, "well, while you're down there, could you do me a favor? (*unzips pants*)" :banghead:

 

My wife's 5' even and my sister-in-law is about 4'10"...like Phantom's girl in college, down to the top heaviness.

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