maryportfuncity 10,684 Posted February 22, 2007 No no no! You've had a hysterectomy.....PERIOD! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
CarolAnn 926 Posted February 22, 2007 No no no! You've had a hysterectomy.....PERIOD! Wrong again! I've had a hysterectomy....NO PERIOD! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
maryportfuncity 10,684 Posted February 22, 2007 In other words it's a case of; No period.....PERIOD! Hell, if only the drive by ranters who blast us for idiocy could stay long enough to enjoy the truly international flavour of our exchanges. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Windsor 2,235 Posted February 22, 2007 My God - dare I say it? Perhaps the whore-finder general was right! He goes away for a week and posting anarchy breaks out! Only joking - personally I hope he's dead... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Gunjaman5000 32 Posted February 22, 2007 Hope you didn't take it too personally. I just heard that they're introducing a "biggest pedant" award for the next round. I think you'll find its pronounced 'pedont' I think you'll find it's "it's" not "its". I think you'll find that the period goes inside the quotation marks, not outside. I think you'll find that is a stylistic difference between correct English and North American English. I've been under that impression too Honez but can't find a link which I would in any sense deem to be authoritive, although the lovely folk at the Oxford English Dictionary seem to take Mr Quinion seriously enough, which I imagine would be good enough for most people. I didn't think Sister Anne-David would have put us crook all those years ago. My God - dare I say it? Perhaps the whore-finder general was right! He goes away for a week and posting anarchy breaks out! Speaking of not around for a bit, where's Tempus? Does the 'where's Tempus' thread need re-opening? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
maryportfuncity 10,684 Posted February 22, 2007 Aye, good point, I'd been missing the maestro myself but just checked and realised he was last active on January 26th!!!! Not like our man to be away so long. Hopefully it's a well deserved winter sun break. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Brinsworth House Baiter 12 Posted March 12, 2007 My attention has just been brought to this thread (thanks TLC)and I am speechless to find that I won three Monkeys. I feel like Robbie Williams cleaning up at The Brits. Or something. Anyway, I'm genuinely touched that I reaped such success without having to offer sexual favours. Very genuinely touched, seeing as it appears Godot was judge.... And I'd like to offer my thanks to Bou for nominating me & apologise for my absence at the tail end of the year, which was brought about by true Robbie Williams style depression & rehab. Right, I'm off to clear a space on the mantle piece & look forward to receiving my Monkeys. You can be assured that once I have my Monkey in my hand I shall spank it without mercy. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Dave to the Grave 11 Posted March 13, 2007 My attention has just been brought to this thread (thanks TLC)and I am speechless to find that I won three Monkeys. I feel like Robbie Williams cleaning up at The Brits. Or something. Anyway, I'm genuinely touched that I reaped such success without having to offer sexual favours. Very genuinely touched, seeing as it appears Godot was judge.... And I'd like to offer my thanks to Bou for nominating me & apologise for my absence at the tail end of the year, which was brought about by true Robbie Williams style depression & rehab. Right, I'm off to clear a space on the mantle piece & look forward to receiving my Monkeys. You can be assured that once I have my Monkey in my hand I shall spank it without mercy. Welcome back, BHB, and belated congratulations on your worthy awards. This moment however is, for me, tinged with some disappointment. You see, there has been a rumour (probably started by me) around Grave Manor, that BHB, Godot and the Pooka, were one and the same person. It appears that as usual I am wide of the mark, but the idea of instigating an award system, and awarding the awards to yourself, is, I think an act of genius. I so wished it true. Anyway, keep up the good work, Dave. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Brinsworth House Baiter 12 Posted March 13, 2007 My attention has just been brought to this thread (thanks TLC)and I am speechless to find that I won three Monkeys. I feel like Robbie Williams cleaning up at The Brits. Or something. Anyway, I'm genuinely touched that I reaped such success without having to offer sexual favours. Very genuinely touched, seeing as it appears Godot was judge.... And I'd like to offer my thanks to Bou for nominating me & apologise for my absence at the tail end of the year, which was brought about by true Robbie Williams style depression & rehab. Right, I'm off to clear a space on the mantle piece & look forward to receiving my Monkeys. You can be assured that once I have my Monkey in my hand I shall spank it without mercy. Welcome back, BHB, and belated congratulations on your worthy awards. This moment however is, for me, tinged with some disappointment. You see, there has been a rumour (probably started by me) around Grave Manor, that BHB, Godot and the Pooka, were one and the same person. It appears that as usual I am wide of the mark, but the idea of instigating an award system, and awarding the awards to yourself, is, I think an act of genius. I so wished it true. Anyway, keep up the good work, Dave. Thanks Dave, but no, I am not an alter ego of Godot or the Pooka. For one, I could never carry the hat and shades with Godot's aplomb and my stalking techniques are of a far lower standard than those of The Pooka. Sorry to have disappointed you, but yes, I agree that instigating an award system and awarding them to yourself would have been genius indeed. New Labourish even... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Paul Bearer 6,130 Posted November 29, 2007 Time to regurgitate this thread (unless someone wants to create a new thread) and open the nominees for this years monkeys. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
themaninblack 2,112 Posted November 29, 2007 To be honest....it's been a bit of a dull year hasn't it! No really big, iconic deaths. No rant-infested threads or lingering George Best/Pope John Paul/Paul Hunter deaths... We've had 10 hits, which were unevenly distributed (Nothing in the Spring, a mad summer and little since). Actually the best thread has been the most recent - The switch over of DDP showrunning from Rude Kid and Baboon to Octopus, with the ensuing debate over the new rules... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Godot 149 Posted November 29, 2007 You said it MIB. The panel had begun looking for nominations in the civilized space of the Hartlepool DP forum but there have been very few nominations so far between the rolling clumps of tumbleweed. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Godot 149 Posted November 29, 2007 Who is going to win a Monkey? A reminder: Thread of the year - for the most entertaining thread of 2006, judged on artistic merit, content, interest and general good value. Post of the year - for the single most entertaining or amazing post. Best rant - for the most hatefilled rant of the year. Best link - most entertaining link. Best death - for the most interesting and talked about death of the year. The opinion of the judges is final. There may be one or two other categories. Nominations are closed for f*****t of the year since the winner is so far out in front he is uncatchable. There are several nominations for whinger of the year: Tempus Fugit, Windsor, should probably include myself. It's quite possible that the best rant this year could go to an insider, not unrelated, I dare say, to f*****t of the year. For best death I thought George Melly's was a pretty sporting effort as was that of Jane Tomlinson. Pavarotti's was probably the biggest death in every sense of the phrase. Post of the year is going to be a tough one. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Godot 149 Posted November 29, 2007 A reminder of all the categories: Post of the Year Rant of the year Poster of the year. Best Newcomer. Thread of the Year Avatar of the year Joke of the year: Best one-liner: Best link: f*****t of the year an infrequent category. The panel wishes to make it clear that in the event that there is no nomination of substance in any of the categories, the Monkey for that category will be withheld. The decision of the panel, as always, is final. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Octopus of Odstock 2,217 Posted November 29, 2007 Rant of the year Tempus' 12 month long hate-fest vs the DDP. Also for sulk & whinge of the year, God bless him. Poster of the year. Twelvetrees Best Newcomer. Harrymcnally'sblueandwhitearmy Joke of the year: Atrociously bad-taste, but the Colin McRae/PC game "crashing" one was really quite good. f*****t of the year an infrequent category. Iain, of course. Death of the year Well, from DL's point of view, maybe Ernest Gallo, the man who ended the long drought. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Tuber Mirum 126 Posted November 29, 2007 Newcomer of the year is tricky, because the year isn't over yet, and who knows who might yet turn up? But given the current state of information, I'd nominate LFN One reason he gets my vote over 'arry is because unlike 'arry he is still here. Or Sweet Sorrow. F******t doesn't do iain justice, there should be an award for thinking up a single word which describes iain. Poster of the year could be Devon Death Trip. He's always amusing, always relevant and has come up with a lot of interesting and obscure suggestions. Best disappearance could be a good category. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Octopus of Odstock 2,217 Posted November 29, 2007 Best disappearance could be a good category. Steve Fossett wins hands down. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
themaninblack 2,112 Posted November 29, 2007 Rant of the year There has been some notable bitching between members, but external rants have been thin on the ground, other than the Castro ones of course. Poster of the year. The evergreen, ever present Maryportfuncity! Best Newcomer. I agree with OoO on this: Harrymcnally.... Thread of the Year The DDP 2008 discussion. A nice meaty debate... Avatar of the year Harrymcnally was certainly the most prolific in that regard.... Joke of the year: The one about the drunk man dreaming of being a chicken. f*****t of the year Dave/Iain/Whatever... Ooh and I almost forgot, Best Death. Tammy Faye....what a saga! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Godot 149 Posted November 30, 2007 Note there's plenty of time on this. The awards are not due until Jan/Feb. I hadn't thought of Iain for the f*****t category. Is he eligible? I thought he was off the map. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Gunjaman5000 32 Posted November 30, 2007 I've a couple of suggestions for award categories, if I may be so bold. Perhaps a monkey for the 'most posts made by a registered member posting as a guest'? Or does this go (by default it would seem) to the winner of the 'best sulk' award? I'd like to suggest 'best alternate identity' and although a short lists they may be, 'best breakaway forum' and 'best other deadpool'. Any takers? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Tuber Mirum 126 Posted November 30, 2007 Alternate identity is a hard one to prove. Best breakaway Forum? You'd have to award one for worst breakaway forum too. By disappearance I actually meant of a regular member. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Godot 149 Posted November 30, 2007 Best single death predictor might be a worthwhile category. But I'm not sure who, if anyone, among DL regulars has managed to pick up one of those out-of-the-blue deaths this year. I'm thinking of Steve Irwin or Steve Fossett-type deaths (cue: but Fossett isn't known to be dead yet? OK, keep your knickers on, it's just an illustration). Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
maryportfuncity 10,684 Posted November 30, 2007 Perhaps a monkey for the 'most posts made by a registered member posting as a guest'? Or does this go (by default it would seem) to the winner of the 'best sulk' award? f**k sake! We've enough traffic in this department without encouraging it with an award. My guest self thinks it a great idea, mind. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Twelvetrees 10 Posted November 30, 2007 Rant of the year Virtually anything from Banshees Scream. Okay, there's more raving than ranting usually, but we're nothing if not inclusive. I miss the Tongans. Poster of the year. A draw between DDT - always a mine of useful information and OoO for his knowledge of the African Despot and public suicide note in taking over DDP. Between them, they are totally Fray Bentos* Best Newcomer. Harrymcnallyslipsmackintheycallmemistertibbsnononotthemindprobebluenandwhitearmy Thread of the Year It's boring I know, but the Ideas and Possibilities is where I always head first. It's the lifeblood of the forum. Avatar of the year Handrejka's is the scariest Iain of the year Dave Best Death Jazzman George. In the end it was a release for such a giant of a man and a chance to celebrate a life lived to the fullest. Post of the year Captain Oates' photos of Melly's last gig. *no lumps of fat or gristle - guaranteed! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
maryportfuncity 10,684 Posted November 30, 2007 Thread: Hell, it has been a dull year so I guess Ideas and possibilities. Poster HarryMc mainly because he went above and beyond posting to put together the Deathcon attended by about ten but an event at which several thousand will - in the future - lay claim to have attended. Then again, the seldom seen Alphonsin seldom puts a foot wrong. Newcomer HarryMc, except he's really a founder member who goes back to the paper-based eighties. So, strictly speaking LFN is the best candidate IMHO. Rant For all it's self-referntial humour I thought the following an inspired gem, as it's from the 'ranters' thread. Why is this thread pinned? Apart from its use as a platform for Iain's occasional tossy comments the thread is almost entirely made up of members' comments. In fact I have noticed that hardly anyone visits this forum who doesn't have an interest. Most of the so-called guests are either members like BS choosing to post anonymously for whatever reason or Cuban nutters obsessed with Castro. Even the Brazilian squidologists have run out of ink. What is striking is the almost total lack of rage. But I would like to rant, boy would I. I'm heartily pissed off with everything, including myself, and don't know where to start so I won't. I'm off to the gentlemen's club for a stiff whisky. Where's Bellender when you need him? Post of the year The above might qualify again. I live in hope of summat that'll stand out from the crowd post wise this year. If it goes to the photos of Melly's last stand it says summat about the collective quality of our wit. f*****t TBH I'm not in favour of the award since some f*****t's are so fuckwitted as to perceive any attention as encouragement. Give that award to 'guest' and scrap it henceforth, or summat. Death Personal fave; Dorothy Webb, cos I fingered her and nobody else got close!! Award wise it has to be George Melly. Joke TMIB posted a lyric in july about Jack and Jill going up the hill that ended with her sueing the local authority for inadequate warning sign provision. Avatar The seldom seen Eejit and his little animation. Disappearance Steve McLaren, thank f**k for small mercies! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
