The Monkeys

[Canadian Paul 97]

So did we ever decide on these? Whose job was it? Mods? Admins? Godot?

[Godot 149]

Give it time. They were always designed to upstage the Oscars. The panel is still in conclave.

[Godot 149]

Yes folks it’s that time when the glitterati of the Deathlist come together to honour their own and puff their posts in this inaugural airing of the Monkeys in recognition of Hartlepool’s nascent but significant contribution to deathlisting tradition.

 

For the spectacular manner of his demise, the highly unusual nature of the death, for dying at the zenith of his career in the full glare of the camera lights, and for going in a way that, however unlikely, was still predictable and most fitting - if tragic - the first Monkey for Death of the Year must go to Steve Irwin and his death by stingray. Congratulations that man.

 

The Post of the Year Monkey might have been a difficult one for the panel had Boudicca not nominated Brinsworth House Baiter’s King of Crows story in the drunken thread. King of Crows it is. Unfortunately I’m not sure that BHB can be with us tonight to step up and receive his award.

 

Rant of the year was a close run decision between any one of a dozen in the Paul Hunter thread and the classic remarks in this thread which just nicked it. Well done those Iain haters.

 

Poster of the year. The panel felt that the most consistent wit emerged from some of the veteran members, some of whom are not prolific posters. There was some thinking about whether it should be awarded at all since the DL relies on the cumulative strength of its posters. After some serious deliberation, however, the Monkey goes to The Pooka for somehow creating posts that are both witty and cool, or is it just the Avatar?

 

Best Newcomer. There were some strong contenders in the year: CarolAnn, Alphonsin, Six, Lard Bazaar, Phantom, deadsox, Dr Hackenslash, Real Madron and many others. There were oddballs – Bennet Cerf – and there were some, like Cupoftea and Pulphack who made an impression for a time then faded. One of those was Brinsworth House Baiter and the panel hopes he returns because he gets the Best Newcomer Monkey to go with his Best Post.

 

Thread of the Year. There were several nominations for Thread of the Year that some believe should have been won by the “I am not going to post anymore deaths thread”. This was one of the toughest ones for the panel and controversial one to boot since it goes to a very dark horse. For hosting a significant debate that showcased the very best and worst of Deathlist it goes to Dicky O!, Still Awaiting Answers started by, who else, but Brinsworth House Baiter! Sadly BHB can’t be with us tonight but we can link up live to Aston Villa Football Club…. sorry lost the link, what a pity, never mind.

 

In the lesser categories:

 

Avatar of the year: Monkey goes to Devon Death Trip.

Joke of the year: Monkey goes to MPFC for Mira Hindley even if he did cheat by republishing from 2005.

Best one-liner: Monkey goes to Notapotato for his milk snatcher comment.

Best link: Monkey goes to Anubis the Jackal for Jimmy Jangle

 

NB: The Monkeys is an unregistered trademark that is not wholly or partially owned by either Godot or the Hartlepool Deadlypool. The panel nevertheless grants the right of winners to use their titles for promotional purposes.

[Banshees Scream 110]

Since i'm not on the 'best of' list I guess it's complete bullshit. It's like one of those unheard of magazines that come out with a top 100 list in their opinion. Usually they are either dead wrong or very one sided and in the end nobody cares. I guess not all of my posts are prolific, but i've made some wild posts. I guess not everything is evaluated correctly.

[Tuber Mirum 125]

Well I'm very pleased to have won the One-Liner category, particularly given the stiff competition ATJ puts up.

 

And particularly since I nominated myself.

[Banshees Scream 110]

I have a couple nominations myself, first being' and I give this award for consistency and quality 'the joker

of 2006' would be Heaven Can Wait.

 

For the most unwanted award I give it to iain. It's his on a gold platter.

 

Best feud award isn't easy, but Tempus Fugit sure went all out on Typhoid Harry.

 

And that's it for now. For the rest i'm undecided.

[Octopus of Odstock 2,197]

The only comment I'll make is I am sure am depressed not to even make it onto the shortlist of Best Newcomer.

 

Otherwise, I have no complaints.

[Canadian Paul 97]

The only comment I'll make is I am sure am depressed not to even make it onto the shortlist of Best Newcomer.

 

Otherwise, I have no complaints.

 

You joined December 22, 2005. You weren't eligible for 2006.

[themaninblack 2,112]

The only comment I'll make is I am sure am depressed not to even make it onto the shortlist of Best Newcomer.

 

Otherwise, I have no complaints.

 

You joined December 22, 2005. You weren't eligible for 2006.

 

Ooh, that's a bit harsh...

[Paul Bearer 6,102]

I have a couple nominations myself, first being' and I give this award for consistency and quality 'the joker

of 2006' would be Heaven Can Wait.

 

For the most unwanted award I give it to iain. It's his on a gold platter.

 

Best feud award isn't easy, but Tempus Fugit sure went all out on Typhoid Harry.

 

And that's it for now. For the rest i'm undecided.

 

 

Joker, eh? I accept the award with the grace and dignity it deserves

[Octopus of Odstock 2,197]

You joined December 22, 2005. You weren't eligible for 2006.

 

Then I'm sorely disappointed not to have been nominated for 2005.

[CarolAnn 926]

Wow. I got mentioned. Cool.

 

I better get nominated for best avatar for this year.

[Canadian Paul 97]

You joined December 22, 2005. You weren't eligible for 2006.

 

Then I'm sorely disappointed not to have been nominated for 2005.

 

Hope you didn't take it too personally. I just heard that they're introducing a "biggest pedant" award for the next round.

[Paul Bearer 6,102]

You joined December 22, 2005. You weren't eligible for 2006.

 

Then I'm sorely disappointed not to have been nominated for 2005.

 

Hope you didn't take it too personally. I just heard that they're introducing a "biggest pedant" award for the next round.

 

I think you'll find its pronounced 'pedont'

[honez 79]

Hope you didn't take it too personally. I just heard that they're introducing a "biggest pedant" award for the next round.

I think you'll find its pronounced 'pedont'

I think you'll find it's "it's" not "its".

[Banshees Scream 110]

I think you'll find it's "it's" not "its".

 

The classic correction. It's so good to know that it still exists.

[Guest Guest]

Hope you didn't take it too personally. I just heard that they're introducing a "biggest pedant" award for the next round.

I think you'll find its pronounced 'pedont'

I think you'll find it's "it's" not "its".

 

I think you'll find that the period goes inside the quotation marks, not outside.

[Canadian Paul 97]

Rat's ass. The above post was mine. A merge perhaps kind mods?

[honez 79]

Hope you didn't take it too personally. I just heard that they're introducing a "biggest pedant" award for the next round.

I think you'll find its pronounced 'pedont'

I think you'll find it's "it's" not "its".

I think you'll find that the period goes inside the quotation marks, not outside.

I think you'll find that is a stylistic difference between correct English and North American English.

[Dave to the Grave 11]

Hope you didn't take it too personally. I just heard that they're introducing a "biggest pedant" award for the next round.

I think you'll find its pronounced 'pedont'

I think you'll find it's "it's" not "its".

I think you'll find that the period goes inside the quotation marks, not outside.

I think you'll find that is a stylistic difference between correct English and North American English.

When, and why, has the 'full stop' stopped being a 'full stop', and turned into a period? In English, when I come to a 'full stop' at the end of a sentence, I have a 'full stop', not a period.

[maryportfuncity 10,647]

Americans have been having periods where we have full stops for many years now....PERIOD!

 

Many a bemused look has been exchanged by Americans as a Brit woman in their country says something like....'I'm on a period, I'll just nip to the drug store!'

[TLC 9]

Since i'm not on the 'best of' list I guess it's complete bullshit. It's like one of those unheard of magazines that come out with a top 100 list in their opinion. Usually they are either dead wrong or very one sided and in the end nobody cares. I guess not all of my posts are prolific, but i've made some wild posts. I guess not everything is evaluated correctly.

An early contender for 'biggest sour grapes post of 2007'...

 

I concede I may have failed to pick up on the irony of the above post. If so, that's one wild post right there. Crazy.

[Monoclinic 39]

Americans have been having periods where we have full stops for many years now....PERIOD!

 

Many a bemused look has been exchanged by Americans as a Brit woman in their country says something like....'I'm on a period, I'll just nip to the drug store!'

 

 

But clearly we wouldn't say DRUGSTORE but Chemists. Though most likely we'd say Boots or the supermarket. (EDIT - or the pound shop for the more pikey amongst us!)

 

The best and well known language difficulty involves the derriere. We all know and (unless you have had a humour bypass) sN-word at the US equivalent for the bumbag!

[TLC 9]

Americans have been having periods where we have full stops for many years now....

Who'd have thought grammar could have such a direct biological effect?

[CarolAnn 926]

Americans have been having periods where we have full stops for many years now....PERIOD!

 

Many a bemused look has been exchanged by Americans as a Brit woman in their country says something like....'I'm on a period, I'll just nip to the drug store!'

 

Makes no difference to me - I've had a hysterectomy.