Gunjaman5000 30 Posted March 8, 2009 Jade threatened by hammer-wielding intruder He's good, that Max Clifford, innee. Jade, who had returned to London hospital to relieve her agonising bowel pain, screamed out in terror as she awoke to find the woman 'chanting and praying' over her. The miraculous road to a miraculous recovery begins with one miraculous step. I think this is that step, a bit of chanting and praying and miraculously, she'll start felling better in no time. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Monoclinic 39 Posted March 9, 2009 Jade threatened by hammer-wielding intruder He's good, that Max Clifford, innee. Jade, who had returned to London hospital to relieve her agonising bowel pain, screamed out in terror as she awoke to find the woman 'chanting and praying' over her. The miraculous road to a miraculous recovery begins with one miraculous step. I think this is that step, a bit of chanting and praying and miraculously, she'll start felling better in no time. Was this the chant perchance? Or perhaps ? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
thefunkyfaz 51 Posted March 9, 2009 Jade threatened by hammer-wielding intruder He's good, that Max Clifford, innee. Jade, who had returned to London hospital to relieve her agonising bowel pain, screamed out in terror as she awoke to find the woman 'chanting and praying' over her. The miraculous road to a miraculous recovery begins with one miraculous step. I think this is that step, a bit of chanting and praying and miraculously, she'll start felling better in no time. Was this the chant perchance? Or perhaps ? Maybe even this... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7SCt8JPAkgU Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
IKYWN 6 Posted March 9, 2009 I hear that guests at her funeral will be given Goody bags when they leave Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Dave to the Grave 11 Posted March 9, 2009 Jade threatened by hammer-wielding intruder He's good, that Max Clifford, innee. Jade, who had returned to London hospital to relieve her agonising bowel pain, screamed out in terror as she awoke to find the woman 'chanting and praying' over her. The miraculous road to a miraculous recovery begins with one miraculous step. I think this is that step, a bit of chanting and praying and miraculously, she'll start felling better in no time. Was this the chant perchance? Or perhaps ? Maybe even this... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7SCt8JPAkgU Perhaps she'd watched 'Prick up your Ears' last night, dozed off, and woke up listening to her favourite Spice Girls CD, got confused with Geri and Kenneth... Bob's your uncle, Fanny's your aunt.....much screaming. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
thefunkyfaz 51 Posted March 9, 2009 I hear that guests at her funeral will be given Goody bags when they leave And instead of using a hearse, her coffin will be transported on a 3 seater bicycle, which would be more fitting for a Goodie... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lard Bazaar 3,799 Posted March 9, 2009 I hear that guests at her funeral will be given Goody bags when they leave And instead of using a hearse, her coffin will be transported on a 3 seater bicycle, which would be more fitting for a Goodie... The funeral service will be conducted by Michael Aspel, but it won't be without incident as he will get trampled by a giant kitten halfway through. Edit - I should have been on commission for all these new members joining from DS. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lard Bazaar 3,799 Posted March 9, 2009 Goody, Goody, so good I posted twice. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
STIFF 0 Posted March 9, 2009 Now look, I'm not saying this was a dress rehearsal or anything... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Quincy, M.E. 0 Posted March 9, 2009 I need to check my slides, the hammer may have been used in a homicide. I'll ask Sam to page me as soon as the results are back from the lab. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Paul Bearer 6,100 Posted March 9, 2009 Breaking News on Sky, someone has tried to attack Jade Goody in hospital with a hammer. Now whatever your opinion, I think that is a bit sick. It was probably a joiner looking to put a nail in the wall and he* banged his* thumb with the hammer. Haven't you ever chanted after whacking your thumb? * Yes I know it was a woman who allegedly had the hammer, but it would get lost if I posted she and her Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Paul Bearer 6,100 Posted March 9, 2009 Edit - I should have been on commission for all these new members joining from DS. Only when they become twunts Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Quincy, M.E. 0 Posted March 9, 2009 What's your field Heaven? The last time I chanted was to Felix, but that isn't important right now. We need to catch the killer. Breaking News on Sky, someone has tried to attack Jade Goody in hospital with a hammer. Now whatever your opinion, I think that is a bit sick. It was probably a joiner looking to put a nail in the wall and he* banged his* thumb with the hammer. Haven't you ever chanted after whacking your thumb? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Anubis the Jackal 77 Posted March 9, 2009 Suffering: Jade Goody, who is terminally ill, was christened on Saturday Married on Sunday, Took Ill on Monday, Gave birth on Tuesday, Grew worse on Wednesday, Sold the rights to OK on Thursday, Racially abused a nurse on Friday, That was the end of Jade Goody. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
maryportfuncity 10,639 Posted March 9, 2009 Jacko cares enough to send his regards. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
honez 79 Posted March 10, 2009 Jacko cares enough to send his regards. Maybe he's getting confused. This is Jane Goodie (the hairy one) who probably reminds him of his old chum. (I can't believe it's taken me this long to find that site.) I also liked this bit in MPFC's linked news article. "The Big Brother star spent the majority of Monday sleeping with husband Jack Tweed" Aww. How romantic. Slightly out of context but what the hell. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JR Hartley 0 Posted March 10, 2009 Jade is going blind Looks like the end is nigh.. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Windsor 2,233 Posted March 10, 2009 Jade is going blind Looks like the end is nigh.. THta link doesn't work. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JR Hartley 0 Posted March 10, 2009 Jade is going blind Looks like the end is nigh.. THta link doesn't work. Awfully sorry Windsor, could you please remind this man of age on how to? Ps. have you read my book on fly-fishing? name being JR Hartley? I would sign you a copy if I could find one. Must dash Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Terminator 13 Posted March 10, 2009 Jade is going blind Perhaps she never realised her wig had slipped over her face.. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Toast 16,129 Posted March 10, 2009 I'm sure there will still be time to organise a trip to Lourdes for the miracle cure. They are probably waiting for the weather to get a bit warmer. Imagine the scope for photo features! They could sell it to Ave! magazine* as well as OK. And they could do well out of tacky souvenirs too. * I just made that up, but it wouldn't surprise me if there really is one. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Raskolnikov 0 Posted March 10, 2009 I'm sure there will still be time to organise a trip to Lourdes for the miracle cure. They are probably waiting for the weather to get a bit warmer. Imagine the scope for photo features! They could sell it to Ave! magazine* as well as OK. And they could do well out of tacky souvenirs too. * I just made that up, but it wouldn't surprise me if there really is one. I must fess up to having actually been to Lourdes some years ago, and the amount of tacky souvenirs you see at every turn really does beggar belief. Toast's link is only the tip of the iceberg, and if you get away from 'official' souvenir stalls you don't have to go far to see people selling Virgin Mary lighters, penknives, and best of all, flick knives. Perhaps a Jade Goodie flick knife would be a fitting memorial, as they're both capable of bringing misery into people's lives. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JR Hartley 0 Posted March 10, 2009 I'm sure there will still be time to organise a trip to Lourdes for the miracle cure. They are probably waiting for the weather to get a bit warmer. Imagine the scope for photo features! They could sell it to Ave! magazine* as well as OK. And they could do well out of tacky souvenirs too. * I just made that up, but it wouldn't surprise me if there really is one. I must fess up to having actually been to Lourdes some years ago, and the amount of tacky souvenirs you see at every turn really does beggar belief. Toast's link is only the tip of the iceberg, and if you get away from 'official' souvenir stalls you don't have to go far to see people selling Virgin Mary lighters, penknives, and best of all, flick knives. Perhaps a Jade Goodie flick knife would be a fitting memorial, as they're both capable of bringing misery into people's lives. Surely she can't blag t this time? Surely it's too late for her to recover? My God the cancer is all over her! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Vinegar Tits 605 Posted March 10, 2009 I'm sure there will still be time to organise a trip to Lourdes for the miracle cure. I've been to Lourdes and it didn't cure my poorly arm. The actual site is a lovely place though - I'm not Catholic but couldn't help to be moved. Despite the crowds of tourists it's a surprisingly tranquil place. Of course, if Jade went there - ill or not - she'd shatter that peace as soon as she opened her gob... I've still got my Virgin Mary water holder (no, not tacky at all, oh no...) and a bit of holy water left over. Perhaps I should go to Jade's hospital and douse her in it. Well, I got past security with a hammer so a bit of water should be a breeze... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Toast 16,129 Posted March 10, 2009 Yeah, I've been there too. It's like a religious Disneyland. I bought a plastic ballpoint pen, the casing contained a scene of the Grotto in a bubble of water. When you tipped it upside down, the Virgin Mary descended. It was so tacky I couldn't resist it. The possibilities are endless. Come on, Max! We're doing your job for you here. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
