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Your Least Impressive Celebrity Encounters

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My story, I'm sorry to say, has to centre on Snooker player, Willie Thorne. I was out on the pull with a new girlfriend, circa 1996 and we decided to go to a Mexican resturant (a very plastic one, in Leicester, on one of those nasty industrial shopping development areas). And lo-and-behold who was sitting at the next table - yerh! you guessed it that Willie Thorne bloke off the telly snooker stuff. You know what - he was having a cheap meal too, in a cheap plastic Mexican resturant, just like me like!

Except I've never been back and I guess he never leaves the place, or a tip.

 

Very off putting to see a minor celeb' when you should be checking the size of tits this cracking new bird has!

 

 

[skinner and Baddiel] He was probably playing in the first round of a competition that very morning [/skinner and Baddiel]

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Very off putting to see a minor celeb' when you should be checking the size of tits this cracking new bird has!

I trust Willie Thorne wasn't the only one to go on to sink the pink, RA.

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* used to work with Ewan McGregor's mum: we used to make bets on the number of times she'd mention her famous son or brother (Dennis Lawson). His granny was the same.

* When I was a chambermaid, I had the unhappy task of cleaning up after Noel and Liam's big brother. He left a copy of the Daily Star in the bathroom and a stubborn skid mark down the back of the pan.

* Played pool with Doctor and one of the Medics in my Student Union Bar.

* In the same department as Crispan Bonham-Carter at uni. Two years below him, though.

* Had a pint with Blackie Lawless from WASP.

 

mmm...not exactly one of the glitterati am I? :lol:

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Very off putting to see a minor celeb' when you should be checking the size of tits this cracking new bird has!

I trust Willie Thorne wasn't the only one to go on to sink the pink, RA.

 

 

:lol: Reply Of The Year!

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Very off putting to see a minor celeb' when you should be checking the size of tits this cracking new bird has!

I trust Willie Thorne wasn't the only one to go on to sink the pink, RA.

 

 

:lol: Reply Of The Year!

 

not just the pink... I well remember, that night I cleared the table...

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Very off putting to see a minor celeb' when you should be checking the size of tits this cracking new bird has!

I trust Willie Thorne wasn't the only one to go on to sink the pink, RA.

 

 

:lol: Reply Of The Year!

 

not just the pink... I well remember, that night I cleared the table...

 

 

You done her in the green? You sick bastard...... :lol:

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* Had a pint with Blackie Lawless from WASP.

Cool \m/

 

I keep seeing Topper Headon in Dover Farmfoods, which isn't very punk rock. Mind you, it's slightly more punk rock and anarchic than seeing Justin Sullivan (New Model Army) and Joolz looking at padded toilet seat covers in Bradford Poundstretcher once.

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I've met quite a few notable sorts and spoken to many more on the phone. Least impressive...Jude Law, who rang when I was out, spoke to Mrs MPFC, and didn't leave a mobile number allowing me to get back. Not that I'd blame such a busy bloke for behaving like that, just left me a little under-whelmed.

 

Most impressive...well Ann Widdecombe is a real crowd-pleasing trouper. For reasons too tiresome to rake over I did a gig with her once over, the start of which was delayed when the crowd proved much bigger than the venue had allowed for. Ann rewrote most of her speech in the ensuing delay, pitching it firmly for the kind of people who had turned up and using a few things she only found out in the confusion as the venue brought in more seating. An absolute pro. Can't say I rate her dancing, mind.

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Here's another great one for you... Peter Andre is just five minutes away from me right now.

How exciting.

As I mentioned on Facebook, he's not on any of my lists, so he should be very careful!

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Sudden onset of pain like that, might be kidney stones. If he passes them without pain relief you'll probably hear him at a distance of six miles.

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Hmmm...least impressive...back in the 80s I met the bloke who stood in for Dick Joice on the Anglia TV programme "Bygones" when Mr Joice was ill. (His name's John Huntley and he has a film and theatre archive...)

 

Slightly more impressive was that when I was a kid, my Dad took me to wrestling matches, meaning I got to meet some of the big names of the day ("Tally Ho" Kaye, Steve Grey, "Iron Fist" Clive Myers, Cyanide Syd Cooper, and the biggest star of all, Big Daddy) On one occasion I was one of a group of children who stood outside Big Daddy's dressing room after his match, chanting "We want Daddy!" After a couple of minutes the great man emerged (I am still haunted by this image), naked save for a small flannel which he clutched to his nether regions, and told us that he'd be out when he'd finished his shower. Impressive or not, it certainly made an impression on me.

 

But not as big as the impression Big Daddy made on Mad Mal Kirk. :ghost6:

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I've had several celebrity encounters, the majority of which were all unimpressive.

 

One of the earliest I can remember was August 1977 (the day Elvis died) when a mate and I went to the Ideal Home Exhibition at the NEC in August 1977 (we'd had a month of the summer holidays and were bored and the NEC was still new and shiny and we hadn't been before).

 

After looking around for a while we stumbled on the local radio station outside broadcast booth. I found myself standing behind a rather petite trim figure who was being interviewed. When she'd finished and turned around I realised it was Susan Hanson (Miss Diane from Crossroads).

 

More recently, I walked past a chap I thought I recognized but couldn't place the face. A little further down the road a poster was advertising the latest play gracing the stage at the Theatre Royal, starring the chap I'd failed to identify - Simon Callow. He's a lot shorter than he looks on TV.

 

My most impressive (IMHO) was having a drink with Billy Martin (ex-NY Yankees manager) about 10 days before he died (I may, possibly, have mentioned that before).

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My brother had a door held open for him today by Mark Owen out of Take That! Beat that, star fuckers! :burnash:

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Last night I played football with Ralf Little out of Two Packs of Lager and a Pint of Crisps. Had no idea who he was until someone mentioned it after.

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Last night I played football with Ralf Little out of Two Packs of Lager and a Pint of Crisps. Had no idea who he was until someone mentioned it after.

Talking about Ralf Little, remember his mam in the Royle Family, Sue Johnstone?

She's a workmate's Auntie.....

 

I've got a better Lame to Fame©VIZ, though.

Remember Kirsty Maccoll.

Well, the guy who played the piano on "There's a guy works down the chip shop swears he's Elvis" used to go out with my sister, and I'VE MET HIM.....

 

Impressive, eh? :wheelchair:

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My stepdad's sister was once in a relationship with Ian Holm, and they're still on good terms, so I met him once. This was around 2002 or so, so when the LOTR movies were big news. I was so anxious, I tried to run away, so if he was left with any impression of me at all, it was probably "crazy person".

 

Princess Anne visited the CAB where I volunteer a couple of years ago. She was all right, as royals go.

 

I once saw Peter Stringfellow looking at train times in Victoria Station, but I didn't speak to him. He's quite short.

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Saw Matt Lucas coming out of a gift shop here today. God, he's short.

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My brother made a delivery to Sting today.

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Last week on Amsterdam's Brouwersgracht, on my way to a job interview, I bumped into Youp van 't Hek. I didn't notice until I recognised his voice uttering something not fit to write on a family forum.

 

regards,

Hein

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I got Olympic Gold Medalist Liz McColgans autograph in Asda once

 

At one point she tried to smile. I had nightmares for weeks afterwards

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I spent a very pleasant evening with Sandy, the lead singer from Marmalade, his son was jamming in a pub, with his band The Velvet Hearts, having just recorded his first album. You tube link to follow. The evening was marred somewhat by 3 foot nothing of former radio one nonentity. Bruno 'do you know who I am?' Brookes. The insipid little batsward managed to tag onto a round, hit me for a double whiskey and was not seen again til the end of the night - climbing into the back of a taxi, lighting a ciggy (post ban) and nicking a glass from the pub.....

 

Sandy was a real gent and a great conversationalist, Brookes on the other hand was horrible!

 

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I am glad that Brookes is as much as a twat as I guessed he was

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Trash, when was this weekend? Brookes survived a heart attack three years ago and vowed on television to give up smoking, which he - probably rightly - cited as a major cause of his ticker trouble. If he's still smokin' he's almost certainly obit-worthy.

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Trash, when was this weekend? Brookes survived a heart attack three years ago and vowed on television to give up smoking, which he - probably rightly - cited as a major cause of his ticker trouble. If he's still smokin' he's almost certainly obit-worthy.

 

 

It was on the, 16 Feb 2009. So the little twat is not a man of his word.... Can't say I am shocked!

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Guest David

Tim Healy. What an awful guy - rude and abrasive. His wife Denise Welch is a lovely woman - but he's the most arrogant, big - headed horrible guy - worse than Jeremy Clarkson. A real peasant.

Edited by Paul Bearer
Moved from room 101 thread

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