Godot 149 Posted January 3, 2011 One of the best bits of the DL are the witty headlines that mark a hit. The Grim Reaper seems finely tuned to the possibilities but we all like to chip in our own ideas and get some satisfaction when they hit the mark. This thread is designed as a pun bank for the list so that when the time comes there might be a few contenders here for that crucial send off headline. I've just been looking down this year's list and it's a challenge finding apposite epitaphs for some of them. Here are one or two lame (and pretty obvious) efforts to get this going: Dicky Cheney: "Cheney Dicked" Harry Morgan: "Harry Mashed" or "Painless end for Harry" Aretha Franklin: "Last Respect" Frank Thornton: "Going up" Vera Lynn: "Whale meat" Ray Bradbury: "Carbonised" Ronnie Biggs: "Derailed" Margaret Thacher "Gotcha!" Kim Jong-il: "Kim Jong-dead" Zsa Zsa Gabor: "Nine marriages and a funeral" Betty Ford: "Dried out" John Edrich "stumped" or "run out for (age at death)" Kirk Douglas: "Thumbs down for Spartacus" Michael Douglas: "Fallen down" Gerry Rafferty: "Dead on his feet", "Stuck in the ground", "Falls off his chair" Jake LaMotta: "Technical knockout" Elizabeth Taylor: "Gone for a Burton" Anna Wing: "An' a prayer" Dom Mintoff: "Maltese loss" Ian Brady: "Moors the merrier" Herbert Lom: "Cleausaued" Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Spade_Cooley 9,526 Posted January 3, 2011 Harlan Ellison: He Has No Pulse And Must Scream Dick Cheney: Gone fucked himself Betty Ford: Reached the 13th step Gerry Rafferty: Further on down the flatline Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Vaagheid 141 Posted January 3, 2011 Zsa Zsa Gabor: "Nine marriages and a funeral" Thank you for using that one as an example, I am very proud of this pun. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Vaagheid 141 Posted January 3, 2011 Here are some: Aretha Franklin: She said her little prayer Michael Douglas: Deceased, for the lack of a better word, is good! Fergie Frederiksen: Fergie's Gone I may edit this post when I come up with more or better puns. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Tomb raider 9 Posted January 3, 2011 My 500th post and I couldn't think of anything better than 'Dole in the hole'... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Godot 149 Posted January 3, 2011 Chapman Pincher: Stolen from us. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
sympathyforthedevil 11 Posted January 3, 2011 I wonder if Oscar Niemeyer has designed a stairway to heaven? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
sympathyforthedevil 11 Posted January 3, 2011 Vera Lynn: We'll never meet again. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Spade_Cooley 9,526 Posted January 3, 2011 Margaret Thatcher: The lady's for interring Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Madame Defarge 21 Posted January 3, 2011 Ariel Sharon: Unplugged Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
wildstorm 297 Posted January 3, 2011 Dunn like dinner? or Dick Cheney: Death and taxes? I got nothing... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Godot 149 Posted January 3, 2011 Zsa Zsa Gabor: "Nine marriages and a funeral" Thank you for using that one as an example, I am very proud of that pun. Hadn't seen it, honest. Yours is better. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Paul Bearer 6,102 Posted January 3, 2011 I'm sure there is another thread somewhere with some really good ones. i.e. Liz Taylor Divorced from life. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RIP Wee Jum 1,559 Posted January 3, 2011 Clive Dunn - permission to leave, sir Clive Dunn - grandad, we loved you Megrahi - party in Lockerbie Thatcher - Prime finisher Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
888-333 12 Posted January 3, 2011 How about these Ronnie Biggs-Tonights Biggs Stroy Dennis Healy-Takes A Brow Areatha Frankin-Aretha Sells her Soul (Too dark?) Bob Dole-Dole Looses the 2011 Death Poll Tony Martin-Stoney Tony Ray Bradbury-What a Ray to Go! Peire Cardin-Cardiniac Arrest Ernest Borgnine-Vikings Funeral Eli Wallach-The Good the Bad and The Decesed Harry Morgan-M*A*S*H*E*D Diane Wynnes Johnes-And the Wynner is! Dick Cheney-Dick Soup (You know like Duck Soup) Bill Tarmey-Cremation Street Helmut Shidt-So OoOoOoOoff thet Helmut Goes Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Spade_Cooley 9,526 Posted January 3, 2011 Helmut Schmidt: Helmut polished off Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JR976evil 906 Posted January 17, 2011 Nelson Mandela - MaDeadba Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Falkekopf 50 Posted January 17, 2011 Ray Bradburied! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JR976evil 906 Posted January 18, 2011 Aretha Franklin - D-E-C-E-A-S-E-D, find out what it means to me! Fergie Fredericksen - Hold The Line, Death Isn't Always On Time! Clive Dunn - Thy Kingdom Come, Thy Will Be Dunn! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Falkekopf 50 Posted January 21, 2011 Over and Dunn? Dunn to death? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Geronimo 3 Posted January 21, 2011 Steve Jobs - not on this year's list but if he makes it to next year how about "iDead"? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JR976evil 906 Posted January 22, 2011 Steve Jobs - not on this year's list but if he makes it to next year how about "iDead"? Not bad, what about "Jobless!" Borrowing Spike Milligan's old gag - Kim Jong-Il - Told You He Was Il... Oscar Niemeyer - and the Oscar goes too... Should he make the list at some point in the future, here's one for Hugh Hefner - "You're Not Swinging Anymore!" Eli Wallach - The (Closed) Book of Eli a few for Michael Douglas - "Michael Deadlas" "Fatal Affliction" "Life is for wimps!" know he isn't on the list, but Paul Daniels could well be a viable future candidate - "Now That's Tragic!" Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
time 8,599 Posted January 24, 2011 a few for Michael Douglas - "Michael Deadlas" "Fatal Affliction" "Life is for wimps!" know he isn't on the list, but Paul Daniels could well be a viable future candidate - "Now That's Tragic!" Should Paul Daniels expire while on the list, the only possible sign-off should be something along the lines of "You'll like this...". Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Spade_Cooley 9,526 Posted January 24, 2011 And if the lovely Debbie McGee goes, "Let sleeping dogs lie" Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JR976evil 906 Posted January 24, 2011 a few for Michael Douglas - "Michael Deadlas" "Fatal Affliction" "Life is for wimps!" know he isn't on the list, but Paul Daniels could well be a viable future candidate - "Now That's Tragic!" Should Paul Daniels expire while on the list, the only possible sign-off should be something along the lines of "You'll like this...". Sad faces? Not a lot Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
