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Deathrace 2013

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It's fast, it's furious, it's f***in' good fun. Most of the regulars know the deal but...

 

You score a point for every calendar day remaining in the year after a contestant dies, the winner is the first to 2013 points and - on past form - we're usually done in a few weeks and we pay out prizes!! Major changes this year are

 

1. Filthy Fifteen teams replace the previous under-performing dirty dozen option.

 

2. Closing date is 30 December, allowing us to be open for business the second the New Year starts. Rules etc. below, give it a go!

 

 

Scoreboard

 

 

 

Devon Death Trip - 2271

Angry Greatness - 1591

Death Impends - 1379

Spade Cooley - 1307

Eesti - 1298

Unknown Man - 1262

Bert Trautmann - 1229

Deadsox - 1220

Maryport - 1000

Lard Bazaar - 996

Toast - 937

Rotten Ali - 649

Applecool Downunder - 646

Red Flag - 631

Grobler - 608

MSC - 307

Bibliogryphon - 301

 

 

 

List of Teams

 

 

 

Angry Greatness – ag

Applecool Downunder – ad

Bert Trautmann - bt

Bibliogryphon – bg

Captain Chorizo – cc

Dead Cow – dc

Deadsox – ds

Death Impends – di

Devon Death Trip - dd

Eesti – ee

Grobler – gr

Lard Bazaar – lb

Maryportfuncity - mp

MSC – ms

Pedro – pd

Red Flag – rf

Rotten Ali – ra

Spade Cooley – sc

The Unknown Man – um

Time – ti

Toast – to

Youwantricewiththat – yr

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Hall of Fame

 

Raskolnikov: 2009 Winner

 

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Devon Death Trip: 2011 Winner

 

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Spade Cooley: 2012 Winner

 

 

 

av-5563.jpg

 

 

Devon Death Trip: 2013 Winner

 

 

photo-585.gif

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...And You Will Know Us By The Trail of Dead (the carkers that count!)

 

 

28 Dec: Tony Grieg (off the bench on one team)

28 Dec: Mark Crispin - sc (rule 11a applies - full points awarded)

30 Dec: Rita Levi-Montalcini – to (replaced with Roger Ebert)

17 Jan: John Nkomo – di, dd, mp - 348

20 Jan: Michael Winner – ad, ag, dd, ee*, lb, mp, um - 345

30 Jan: Patty Andrews – lb, to - 335

1 Feb: Ed Koch – ag, ra - 333

4 Feb: Reg Presley – dd, sc, rf - 330

10 Feb: Zhuan Zedong - dd - 324

18 Feb: Damon Harris – bt, di, dd, lb, ra - 316

27 Feb: Van Cliburn – ag, bt, di*, dd, ds*, ee, mp, ms, gr, sc, um - 307

1 Mar: Bonnie Franklin – bt, ag, ds, sc, um* - 305

5 Mar: Hugo Chavez – ad, ag, bg, bt, di, dd, ds, ee, gr, rf, to* - 301

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

wenn2724599.jpg

 

 

Zsa Zsa: Is she wheeling her way into pole position this year?

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Masterlist

 

 

* = Joker

 

 

 

Richard Adams - bg*

Steven Adler – rf

Muhammad Ali – ms, ra

Giulio Andreotti - sc

Patty Andrews – lb, to

Richard Attenborough – lb

Abdullah al-said – bg

Bashar al-Assad – bt, rf

Ryan Buell – bt* ms, sc,

Rodney Bewes – bg

King Bhumibol Adulyadej – ad

Ronnie Biggs – ee, gr, mp, um, yr

Brian Blessed – dc

Judy Blume – ms

David Bond – mp

Felicia Boots - mp

Stefano Borgonovo – bt, rf

Ian Brady – dc, yr

Bobby Brown – yr

June Brown – dc

Bairbre de Brun - dd

George H W Bush – ag, bg, ee, gr, mp, pd, ra*, to

Lord Alan Campbell – pd

Glenn Campbell – dc, ti

Harold Camping – um

Pierre Cardin – ti

Peter Carrington – pd

Rubin Carter - bt

Fidel Castro – ti, um, yr

Sid Caeser – di

Sir Henry Cecil – ad, ag, bg, bt, di, dd, ds, ee, gr*, mp*, ra, rf, sc, to

Hugo Chavez – ad, ag, bg, bt, di, dd, ds, ee, gr, rf, to*

Van Cliburn – ag, bt, di*, dd, ds*, ee, mp, ms, gr, sc, um

Ronald Coase – gr

Billy Connolly – yr

Sean Connery – yr

Mark Crispin - sc

Katherine Crowe – bt, dd, ds, mp

Jamie Daniel - dd

Liz Dawn – bg, gr, rf

Felix Dennis - mp

Bob Dole – ag, bg, cc, di, ee, ms, rf*, to

Fats Domino – ti

Kirk Douglas – bg, pd

Micky Duff - sc

Roger Ebert – rf, to

Mark Eden – ms

Nicholas Edwards - ms

Queen Fabiola of Belgium – pd

Ian Farmer - dd

Sally Field – dc

T-Model Ford – bt

Bruce Forsythe – dc

Bonnie Franklin – bt, ag, ds, sc, um*

Annette Funicello – um

Zsa Zsa Gabor – ad, ag, bg, ds, ee, gr, lb, pd, ra, to, um, yr

Francis Cardinal George - dd

Vo Nguyen Giap – di

Barbara Gibb - mp

Ruth Bader Ginsberg – um

John Glover - sc

Billy Graham – ad, ag, di, ee, lb, um

Dr Kate Granger – bt, dd, mp

Jimmy Greaves – rf

Abdul Halim of Kedah – ad

Damon Harris – bt, di, dd, lb, ra

Ray Harryhausen – ti

Joao Havelange – ad, lb, ms

John Horsley – pd

Engelbert Humperdinck – dc

Alexander Imich – cc

Guy Innes-Ker - ds

Clive James – ag, bg, di, ds, ee, lb, mp, ra, rf, um, yr

Dennis James – bt

Sandy Jardine – dd, ms*, rf, sc

Wojciech Jaruzelski – ag, dd, ee, ms, to, um

Grace Jones – cc, mp

Michael Jopling – ms

Mikhail Kalashnikov – sc*

Jiromen Kimura – cc, di, mp, ra, ti, to

BB King – ti

Danny Kirwan – ms

Henry Kissenger – ti

Ed Koch – ag ra

Jake La Motta – pd

Sir Christopher Lee – ag

Stan Lee – ti

Carla Laemmle – cc, lb

Harper Lee – ad

Doris Lessing – yr

Jerry Lewis - ti

Stephen Lewis – rf

Frank Lucas – dc*

Lisa Lynch – bt, dd*, sc

Vera Lynn – ad, bg

Margaret Mackintosh – bt

Patrick MacNee – yr

Nelson Mandela – ad, ag*, bg, cc*, dc, dd, di, ee, gr, lb, pd*, ra, rf, ti, to, yr

Marc Marquez – lb*

Penny Marshall – ds, ee, ra, um

Derek Martinus – ms

Roy Mason - ms

Ian Mckellern – dc

Bruno Metsu – ms, sc

Andrew Millwall – sc

Rochus Misch – dd, di, to

Rita Levi-Montalcini – to – DOA

Hosni Mubarak – ad

Robert Mugabe – ee, ms

Alice Munro – sc

Pete Murray – lb

John Nkomo – di, dd, mp

Bernie Nolan – dc, ds, lb, mp

Edna O'Brien – dc

Maureen O’Hara – um

Magda Olivero – cc

Peter O’ Sullevan – pd

Ian Paisley - yr

Jack Pardee – ag, bt, ds, ra, sc

Isabel Peron – um

Bill Pertwee – ms

Philip, Duke of Edinburgh – bg, lb, um, yr

Sidney Poitier – ti

Ida Pollack – cc

Pran - sc

Reg Presley – dd, sc, rf

Ray Price – dd, sc, um

Erich Priebk - ra

Luise Rainer – cc, gr, to

Christine Ray - mp

Nancy Reagan – bg, ee, gr, lb, ra

Rihanna – lb

Buddy Ryan – ds

Frederick Sanger – ms

Maximilian Schell – ti

Helmut Schmidt – pd, ti, um

Carol Lee Scott – lb

Jackie Selebi – bt

Ariel Sharon – ra, um, yr*

Sir Run Run Shaw – cc, to

George Beverly Shea - cc

George Shultz – ti*

Donald Sindon – pd

Douglas Slocombe – gr

Zach Sobiech

Norman Spinrad – ds

Jackie Stallone – pd

Freddie Starr – lb, ms

Patrick Stewart – dc

Robert Stigwood – yr

Jalal Talabani – di, ra,

Margaret Thatcher – dc, lb, mp, pd, rf, um

Lupita Tovar – cc

Mary Tyler-Moore – ds, mp

Jack Vance - ms

Eli Wallach – gr

Michael Weiner – ds

Arthur Wellesy – gr

Duke of Wellington – pd

Joost van der Westhuizen – ad*

Gough Whitlam – di,

Anne Williams – bt, mp, sc

Chick Willis - bt

Anna Wing – gr, lb

Michael Winner – ad, ag, dd, ee*, lb, mp, um

Nicholas Winton – cc

Tyrus Wong – cc

Ronnie Wood – dc

Herman Wouk – ad

Chen Xitong – bt

James R Young - sc

Asif Ali Zardari – ad

Zhuang Zedong - dd

 

 

 

 

51t2Y7X75wL._AA160_.jpg

 

Dame Vera: Is it time to say Goodnight Children Everywhere?

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DEATHRACE 2013: THE RULES

 

1 – The object of the Deathrace is to be the first contestant to reach 2013 points.

 

2 – To enter the Deathrace a contestant must have

A: A valid and current DDP team or a Deathrace Filthy Fifteen (DFF) team.

B: Status as a member of the Deathlist (i.e. be at least a Pointless Ranter and at most a Dedicated Cumbrian Corpse Hound, or Summat)

Or…..successfully argue a case to MPFC for entry without the above.

 

3 – Entries are open until midnight on 30 December. A team will be deemed to have entered when they post a full DDP team and the name of their DDP team on the Deathrace thread on the Deathlist.

 

Or

 

A special ‘Deathrace Filthy Fifteen’ (DFF) line-up concocted specifically for the Deathrace comprising 15 members conspicuous as ‘low hanging fruit’ of the variety beloved of dead poolers. Including one of the Filthy Fifteen nominated as a joker and a suitable grimly funny team name for the DFF

 

4 – Players score points every time a team member dies and accrues an obit (see point 9). The score for each death amounts to 1 point for every complete calendar day of 2013 remaining after the death of said team member. So, a death on January 1st scores 364 points, a death on January 2nd scores 363 points etc.

 

5 – Jokers score double the normal points in point 4 above.

 

6 – The winner is the first player to reach or exceed 2013 points.

 

7 – In the event that a single death pushes more than one player beyond the victory score the winner will be deemed to be the player with the highest overall score.

 

8 – In the event that a single death pushes more than one player beyond the victory score and a tie remains between the winners, a sudden death play-off will ensue between all potential winners.

 

8a – The sudden death play off involves all possible winners waiting until one player scores another death of a team member. Said player will then be declared the winner. The sudden death play off will continue until a single clear winner emerges.

 

9 - For the purposes of the Deathrace the same rules about eligibility of team members apply as apply in the DDP, which is obvious anyway cos we’ve been using those rules from the start of the Deathrace competitions.

 

10 – ‘Obit’ in the context of the Deathrace means any report from a reliable news source in English. In this context the following are admissable: ‘Newspaper obits, national newspaper reports, local newspaper reports, coverage in trade journals or similar specialist publications. In all cases evidence online from these sources is sufficient to count for an ‘obit’ for scoring purposes. In the event of a debate about a ‘reliable news source’ MPFC’s decision is final. But he is very reasonable and quite likely to award points to the lowest hanging fruit.

 

11 – To qualify for points all team members must be alive on January 1st 2013 or qualify for the Raymond Hewlett Memorial Exemption (RHME)

 

11a – In honour of everyone’s favourite Maddie-implicated paedo-scum the Deathrace operates a policy of awarding 365 points to any candidate widely believed to be alive on 1 January and subsequently discovered to have been deceased when the pool opened. To qualify for such a bonus said candidate must be reported dead in the year of the competition. In the event that an obit counting news report adhering to Deathrace qualification for points is subsequently discovered to have been published before the commencement of the Deathrace all points for the candidate are voided.

 

11b – In the event of disputes over rule 11a MPFC’s decision is final, but may be appealed by anyone attending a DLCon and supplying MPFC with foaming ale whilst appealing. The decision won’t be changed but MPFC will greatly enjoy the free beer.

 

13 – If any team is found to have used Deathlist editing options to subtly change the line up of their squad instant disqualification without appeal will follow and MPFC will not be held responsible for any abuse heaped upon said cheat by other posters.

 

13 – The winner will receive a prize as follows:

A: Should the winner attend the next DLCon MPFC will personally offer a single measure of an alcoholic drink of choice (beer/wine or spirit) along with much back patting and hearty congratulations.

B: If A is not possible MPFC will offer an item from his extensive collection of duplicate Carlisle United merchandise kindly donated by relatives who forget he already owns said books, scarves or pork pie hat.

C: If option B proves unattractive MPFC may be suggestible, via PMs, to offer summat more suitable. Previous prizes have included a DVD copy of the original Death Race 2000 movie.

D: Two out of three previous winners have opted to waive any personal prize and ask instead for MPFC to make a charitable donation in honour of their victory. This kind of thing gives dead pooling a good name and is highly encouraged by MPFC.

 

 

Other General Stuff

 

 

1 – After the closing date MPFC will post a masterlist of entries.

 

2 – The scoreboard will be updated at least every ten days. Help in notifying this thread of deaths and posting links to qualifying obits will be greatly appreciated.

 

3 – On declaration of a winner the thread should be allowed to sink into oblivion after hearty thanks have been offered to DL admins for their tolerance.

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OK Here we go.

 

I know it is early but I probably won't have chance after today.

 

I am also not proud and not very imagniantive most of my picks have been discussed at length so steal away!!

 

A DFF - Bibliogryphon's Box Fodder

 

1. Richard Adams (joker)

2. Nelson Mandela

3. Hugo Chavez

4. Nancy Reagan

5. Zsa Zsa Gabor

6. Bob Dole

7. Liz Dawn

8. Clive James

9. Abdullah al-said

10. Rodney Bewes

11. Philip, Duke of Edinburgh

12. Vera Lynne

13. Kirk Douglas

14. George H W Bush

15. Henry Cecil

 

Go Team Bibliogryphon!

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Bibliogryphon takes an early lead.

 

Respect!!

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A DFF - Gonna Die Young

 

1. Nelson Mandela*joker

2. Jiromen Kimura

3. Nicholas Winton

4. Grace Jones(not the singer)

5. Lupita Tovar

6. Bob Dole

7. Carla Laemmle

8. Luise Rainer

9. Sir Run Run Shaw

10.Magda Olivero

11.Irving Kahn

12. Tyrus Wong

13. George Beverly Shea

14. Ida Pollack

15. Alexander Imich

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Here's a Filthy XV Fifteen from me:

 

Since You Gotta Go .....

 

Patty Andrews :rip:

George H.W. Bush

Henry Cecil

Hugo Chavez (joker)

Bob Dole

Zsa Zsa Gabor

Wojciech Jaruzelski

Jiroemon Kimura

Nelson Mandela

Rochus Misch

Rita Levi-Montalcini Roger Ebert

Luise Rainer

Nancy Reagan

Run Run Shaw

Zach Sobiech

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Here is my entry:

 

The End of the World as We Know It

 

Bonnie Franklin (joker)

Clive James

Michael Winner

Van Cliburn

Prince Phillip

Harold Camping

Fidel Castro

Annette Funicello

Zsa Zsa Gabor

Ray Price

Ruth Bader Ginsburg

Penny Marshall

Rev. Billy Graham

Isabel Peron

Ariel Sharon

Margaret Thatcher

Maureen O'Hara

Ronnie Biggs

Helmut Schmidt

Wojciech Jaruzelski

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Some admirable filth already on display, mucho respect to those posting early. Obviously, anyone losing a team member before the start will be allowed to replace them with a sub.

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Fifteen of the worst

 

Team Name: I Shall Need To Get The Black Out

 

Nelson Mandela

Bob Dole *JOKER*

Margaret Thatcher

Stephen Lewis

Clive James

Liz Dawn

Jimmy Greaves

Reg Presley

Roger Ebert

Henry Cecil

Sandy Jardine

Hugo Chavez

Stefano Borgonovo

Steven Adler

Bashar al-Assad

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Team Name - The Dead Cows

 

1. Frank Lucas - Joker

2. Nelson Mandela

3. June Brown

4. Bruce Forsyth

5. Engelbert Humperdinck

6. Patrick Stewart

7. Glen Campbell

8. Brian Blessed

9. Ronnie Wood

10. Ian Mckellen

11. Ian Brady

12. Margaret Thatcher

13. Edna O'Brien

14. Sally Field

15. Bernie Nolan

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Am I eligible as I don't have a DDP team or such?

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Am I eligible as I don't have a DDP team or such?

 

Hell yeah. And what's stopping you entering next year's DDP anyway?

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Team Name - The Dead Cows

 

1. Frank Lucas - Joker

2. Nelson Mandela

3. June Brown

4. Bruce Forsyth

5. Engelbert Humperdinck

6. Patrick Stewart

7. Glen Campbell

8. Brian Blessed

9. Ronnie Wood

10. Ian Mckellen

11. Ian Brady

12. Margaret Thatcher

13. Edna O'Brien

14. Sally Field

15. Bernie Nolan

Ronnie Wood is a poor pick...and as for picking Maggie?...Lord Above....no way

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Am I eligible as I don't have a DDP team or such?

 

Hell yeah. And what's stopping you entering next year's DDP anyway?

Stupidity?

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angryGreatness' Fighting Fifteen:

 

1) Nelson Mandela

2) Bonnie Franklin

3) George H.W. Bush

4) Van Cliburn

5) Jack Pardee

6) Clive James

7) Ed Koch

8) Hugo Chavez

9) Bob Dole

10) Wojciech Jaruzelski

11) Sir Henry Cecil

12) Zsa Zsa Gabor

13) Sir Christopher Lee

14) Rev. Billy Graham

15) Michael Winner

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Team Name - The Dead Cows

 

1. Frank Lucas - Joker

2. Nelson Mandela

3. June Brown

4. Bruce Forsyth

5. Engelbert Humperdinck

6. Patrick Stewart

7. Glen Campbell

8. Brian Blessed

9. Ronnie Wood

10. Ian Mckellen

11. Ian Brady

12. Margaret Thatcher

13. Edna O'Brien

14. Sally Field

15. Bernie Nolan

Ronnie Wood is a poor pick...and as for picking Maggie?...Lord Above....no way

 

I wanted to pick a Ronnie, so it was either Ronnie Wood or Ronnie Corbett.

 

Now I am doubting myself after this

 

http://www.entertainmentwise.com/news/99379/Ronnie-Wood-Sally-Humphreys-Keen-To-Start-A-Family-Days-After-Christmas-Wedding

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Groblers Stiff Ones

 

Henry Cecil (joker)

Nelson Mandela

Hugo Chavez

Nancy Reagan

Bob Dole

Zsa Zsa Gabor

George H W Bush

Arthur Wellesley

Eli Wallach

Anna Wing

Douglas Slocombe

Ronald Coase

Van Cliburn

Luise Rainer

Ronnie Biggs

 

Super sub is Tony Grieg

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Groblers Stiff Ones

 

Henry Cecil (joker)

Nelson Mandela

Hugo Chavez

Nancy Reagan

Bob Dole

Zsa Zsa Gabor

George H W Bush

Arthur Wellesley

Eli Wallach

Anna Wing

Douglas Slocombe

Ronald Coase

Van Cliburn

Luise Rainer

Ronnie Biggs

 

Super sub is Tony Grieg

 

If theyr'e cricketers we call the subs 16th men!

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Here is my entry:

 

The End of the World as We Know It

 

Bonnie Franklin (joker)

Clive James

Michael Winner

Van Cliburn

Prince Phillip

Harold Camping

Fidel Castro

Annette Funicello

Zsa Zsa Gabor

Ray Price

Ruth Bader Ginsburg

Penny Marshall

Rev. Billy Graham

Isabel Peron

Ariel Sharon

Margaret Thatcher

Maureen O'Hara

Ronnie Biggs

Helmut Schmidt

Wojciech Jaruzelski

 

That's 20, how dare you cheat, i am very disappointed in you :~|

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If deemed eligible.. my Filthee Fifteen are as follows:-

 

Team Name: The Wormery

 

1. Ian Paisley

2. Zsa Zsa Gabor

3. Nelson Mandela

4. Billy Connolly

5. Sean Connery

6. Ariel Sharon (Joker)

7. Ian Brady

8. Fidel Castro

9. Doris Lessing

10. Patrick Macnee

11. Robert Stigwood

12. Bobby Brown

13. Ronnie Biggs

14. Clive James

15. HRH The Duke of Edinborough

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Here is my entry:

 

The End of the World as We Know It

 

Bonnie Franklin (joker)

Clive James

Michael Winner

Van Cliburn

Prince Phillip

Harold Camping

Fidel Castro

Annette Funicello

Zsa Zsa Gabor

Ray Price

Ruth Bader Ginsburg

Penny Marshall

Rev. Billy Graham

Isabel Peron

Ariel Sharon

Margaret Thatcher

Maureen O'Hara

Ronnie Biggs

Helmut Schmidt

Wojciech Jaruzelski

 

That's 20, how dare you cheat, i am very disappointed in you :~|

 

20s are okay so long as they correspond exactly to the entrant's DDP team.

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Guest Pedro

If I may........

 

Ped's perishing pensioners.

1. Nelson Mandela JOKER

2. Queen Fabiola of Belgium

3. Jake La motta

4. Peter O'Sullevan

5, George H Bush

6, John Horsley

7. Zsa Zsa Gabor

8. Kirk Douglas

9. Duke of Wellington

10. Peter Carrington

11. Lord Alan Campbell

12. Donald Sindon

13 Helmut Schmidt

14 Jackie Stallone

15 Maggie Thatcher.

 

I thank yee.

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In goes my fifteen...

 

Team Name: Thomas Jefferson Survives

 

Van Cliburn *JOKER*

Hugo Chavez

Henry Cecil

Clive James

Jiroemon Kimura

Nelson Mandela

Sid Caesar

John Nkomo

Damon Harris

Jalal Talabani

Bob Dole

Gough Whitlam

Vo Nguyen Giap

Superstar Billy Graham

Rochus Misch

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