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More Scottish gala day fancydress japes....

THE PERFECT HUSBAND Several men are in the changing room of a golf club. A mobile phone on a bench rings and a man engages the hands-free speaker function and begins to talk. Everyone else in the room stops to listen. MAN: "Hello" WOMAN: "Hi darling, it's me. Are you at the club?" ... MAN: "Yes." WOMAN: "I'm at the shops now and found this beautiful leather coat. It's only £1,000; is it OK if I buy it?" MAN: "Sure, go ahead if you like it that much." WOMAN: "I also stopped by the Ford showroom and saw the new models. I saw one I really liked." MAN: "How much?" WOMAN: "£37,000."; MAN: "OK, but for that price I want it with all the options." WOMAN: "Great! Oh, and one more thing... I was just talking to Jane and found out that the house I wanted last year is back on the market. They're asking £570,000 for it." MAN: "Well, then go ahead and make an offer of £550,000. They'll probably take it. If not, we can go the extra twenty-thousand if it's what you really want." WOMAN: "OK. I'll see you later! I love you so much!" MAN: "Bye! I love you, too." The man hangs up. The other men in the changing room are staring at him in astonishment, mouths wide open. He turns and asks, "Anyone know who's phone this is?"

http://www.dailymail...es-aged-82.html Mike Winters dead - I definitely did search and nothing came up so sorry if it's already been done. Fuck's sake, now I find it in the People I Was Surprised.......blah bah - sorry but the search function is shit. It says nowhere that it was in that thread. AAAARRRGHGHGHGGH and now it won't even let me post proof that I searched! Fuck this, I'm going back to fucking bed and Mike Winters can fuck off.

This post is funnier than either of the Winters brothers ever were. And that dog.

Well St Peter gets to utter the famous line, "aw naw, there's two of them" as Mike joins Bernie http://www.mirror.co...rs-died-2222447 Here's a little anecdote: