maryportfuncity 10,630 Posted November 1, 2021 It's fast, it's furious it's f***in' good fun. Teams of 20 topplers posted on this thread or PM'd to MPFC will be collected into a masterlist to provide a carnival of carnage, the counting of which goes live in the first second of 2022*. Points aplenty pour into the scoreboard until someone snags the stupendous total of 2022, at which point the event that used to be the fastest deadpool in common useage (until MPFC started something faster!) slams on the brakes and the lucky winner is duly given metaphorical back-slaps and allowed to claim a prize worth about a tenner (though tradition thus far dictates this turns into a charitable donation)**. Closing date for entries is midnight on 30 December 2021. She's mastered everyone else's ceremony, 'bout time she did the duties for us, then! In it to win it this year are... An Fear Beag - af BabyBlue - bb Banana - ba Bibliogryphon - bg Book - bk TheDeathofBrian - db CalebH - ch Captain Chorizo - cc The Daredevil - td DeathByArsenic - da Death Impends - di Doulton - dl Drol - dr Dying Probably - dp Famous6WEva - f6 gcreptile - gr Great Uncle Bulgaria - gb Gooseberry Crumble - gc GuyFromFuture - gf JoeMoneypenny - jm Joey Russ - jr John Key - jk MariNisia - mn Maryportfuncity - mp msc - ms theoldlady - ol The Old Crem - oc Pedro 67 - p6 Predictor - pr Redrumours - rr Salmon Mousse - sm Sideik - sk TheSpinosaurus - ts Toast - to Torva Messor - tm The Unknown Man - tu Wannamaker - wa WEP - we YorkshireBanker - yb Top talent aplenty in our list of previous champions: 2009 - Raskolnikov 2010 - Nobody, I mean f***in' nobody, reached the winning points total 2011 - DDT 2012 - Spade Cooley 2013 - DDT 2014 - Death Impends 2015 - MSC 2016 - DDT 2017 - Death Impends 2018 - MSC 2019 - Phantom of the Midway 2020 - RadGuy 2021 - An Fear Beag 2022 - Banana * There may be a slight delay getting the whole thing up live at the start of the year due to domestic commitments - but it'll still be up there very close to the first second of the year (and that's when the competition goes live) ** To be precise, every winner bar one has opted for a charitable donation and it's now tradition that MPFC provides evidence of said donation once victory is declared. Feel free - should you win - to opt for consumer goods, mind! 7 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
maryportfuncity 10,630 Posted November 1, 2021 This'll be the List of the Lost, then - ably presided over by a champion loser of the plot who managed to fit this gig into her busy (NOT!) 2022 schedule List of the Lost: 1 Jan - Gary Burgess – af, ba, bk*, cc, di*, dr, gr*, jr*, jk, mp, ms*, oc, ol*, p6, pr, sk, sm, tm, tu, we - 364 pts 3 Jan - Igor Bogdanoff – af, ba, bk, cc, dr, wa - 362 3 Jan - Doug Kuzma – af, ba, dr, gr, jr - 362 4 Jan - Victor Calvagna – af*, ba* - 361 5 Jan - Lawrence Brooks – cc, di - 360 7 Jan - Sidney Poitier - td,to - 358 9 Jan - Nguyễn Côn - cc - 356 9 Jan - Dwayne Hickman – ts - 356 10 Jan - Robert Durst – bk, dl, dr, sm - 355 11 Jan - Mihir Das - dr - 354 11 Jan - Jana Bennet – jr, ms, oc, ol, wa - 354 13 Jan - Israel Dresner – gr, jr - 352 13 Jan - Cecile Klein - cc - 352 16 Jan - Charles E McGee – p6 349 18 Jan - Saturnino De La Fuente Garcia - sk - 347 20 Jan - Russell Bishop – ba, bk, gr, jr, mp*, ms, sk, sm*, to, wa - 345 And...let's have a look at the old Scoreboard! Banana - 2155 Joey Russ – 2141 An Fear Beag - 1810 Drol - 1797 Captain Chorizo – 1794 Book – 1790 gcreptile – 1787 msc – 1417 Salmon Mousse - 1411 Death Impends – 1088 The Old Lady – 1082 Wannamaker - 1061 Sideik – 1056 Maryportfuncity - 1054 The Old Crem - 718 Pedro67 – 713 Toast - 703 John Key - 364 Predictor - 364 Torva Messor – 364 The Unknown Man – 364 WEP - 364 The Daredevil - 358 TheSpinosaurus - 356 Doulton - 355 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
maryportfuncity 10,630 Posted November 1, 2021 The tonnage of talent, the mass of imminent mortality, the deluge of due to decease, the plethora of potential pushing daisies it'll be.... The Masterlist! Abdullah The Butcher – gf Joss Ackland – ch Martti Ahtisaari – cc, wa Emperor Akihito - dl George Alagiah – dr, mn, sk, sm, td, tm, tu, we Silas Alexander – jr, pr, sm Kudrat Ali - sk Mohammed Al Fayed – gc Rae Allen – bb HRH Prince Andrew - dl Peter Angelos – ch Ray Anthony - di Keith Ape – jm Iris Apfel – dl, gc Giorgio Armani – bb Mike Arnold – sk Ingrid Arvidsson – f6 John Ashton – we Ronnie Atkins - we Nikocado Avocado – dp Hisham Abu Awash - ba Barbara Bain - mn Anne Baker - yb Lynn Reid Banks – yb* Bob Barker di, gb, mp, p6, pr, td, to Hervè Barmasse - sk Barbara Barrie - mn Margaret Stuart Barry – yb Stanley Baxter - rr Harry Belafonte – td, ts, tu Jaquie Beltrao - mn Benedict XVI- dp Jana Bennet – jr, ms, oc, ol, wa Nino Benvenuti - bb Mary Berry – rr Diane Berbarian - ba Carlos Bilardo – ch Tim Bilton – p6 Russell Bishop – ba, bk, gr, jr, mp*, ms, sk, sm*, to, wa Kat Bjelland - tm Ronald Blythe – jm Igor Bogdanoff – af, ba, bk, cc, dr, wa George Boscawan - mp Michel Bouquet – da, pr, td Carol Brickell - ba - DNS DUE TO DEATH Raymond Briggs – bg Lawrence Brooks – cc, di Mel Brooks - db June Brown – ch, db, yb Tony Brown – sk Ricou Browning – pr* Gary Burgess – af, ba, bk*, cc, di*, dr, gr*, jr*, jk, mp, ms*, oc, ol*, p6, pr, sk, sm, tm, tu, we Rob Burrow – bk, bg, gb, we Roider Cabrera – gr Bobby Caldwell – dr, jr Dagny Carlsson - gf Victor Calvagna – af*, ba* Laura Cardoso – da Steve Carlson - sm Leslie Caron - mn Jimmy Carter – dp, ol, rr, tu Rosalynn Carter – bg, dp, rr Raul Castro – da Violeta Chamorro – cc, gc Grace Chang - jm Jeanette Charles - yb Bobby Charlton – db, ts Chan Yat-yin - ba Tung Chee-hwa – dr, wa Dick Cheney – dp, p6 Susan Palo Cherwien – ms, oc – DNS DUE TO DEATH Dominic Chianese - bb Teddie Chinnery – bg Bernadette Chirac – ch, tm Barbara Clegg – bg Bill Clinton – dp Néstor Combin – da Nguyễn Côn - cc King Constantine – af, oc, wa Kenneth Cope – gc Lorraine Crapp – jm Annette Crosbie - db Misha Cross – f6 Tim Curry – p6 Jon Cypher – mn Mihir Das - dr FW De Klerk – yb* - DNS DUE TO DEATH Alain Delon – da* Eileen Derbyshire – mn, rr Clémence DesRochers – gf Zdenka Dietchova – f6 Celine Dion - db Shannon Doherty – gf, ol, tm, wa, we Charles Dolan - gf Bob Dole – dp*, gb, gf, jm, mn, ts, yb – DNS DUE TO DEATH Roger Donlon – ts Derek Draper - we Israel Dresner – gr, jr Ivy Dumont – bb Robert Durst – bk, dl, dr, sm Bob Dylan – ts Luis Echeverria – bg, dr, ol Clarissa Eden – yb – DNS DUE TO DEATH Vic Elford – bb, dr, mp, ms, ol, p6, pr, wa HRH Queen Elizabeth II – dl*, dp, oc, ts Ruth Fainlight - mp Joyce Fairbairn – gf Mary Fairhurst – sk – DNS DUE TO DEATH Marianne Faithfull – gf*, oc Emilio Fede – bb Leonard Fenton – p6, to Ben Ferencz - dl Vicente Fernandez – gf - DNS DUE TO DEATH Walter "Gavitt" Ferguson - cc Frank Field – af, ba, bg, bk, cc*, di, dr*, gb*, gc, gr, jk, jr, mn, mp, ms, oc, p6, pr, sk, sm, td*, tm, to*, tu*, wa, we Bill Fitch - cc Fortune FitzRoy – yb – DNS DUE TO DEATH Freddie Foreman – gc Connie Francis - bb Alberto Fujimori – da, mp, td Susie Fuks – gb Dory Funk Jr. – f6 Yvonne Furneaux – da Luciano "Voidhanger" Gaglio – gr Ed Gale - pr Sandy Gall – yb Sourav Ganguly – oc Saturnino De La Fuente Garcia - sk Larry Garza - af Philippe De Gaulle – da, td, to, wa Lloyd Geering - di Françoise Gilot – da, ol, p6 Steve Gleason - mn Gaston Glock – gf Bruce Glover - db Julie Goodyear - rr Mikhael Gorbachev – ch, db, dp, ol, to, ts, tu David Gottler - sk David Graham – bk, di Marjorie Grande – bb Alan Greenspan - dl Jerry Grey – gr Sofia Gubaidulina – f6 Carlos Guerrero - af David Gulpilil – gb, jm, mn – DNS DUE TO DEATH John Gwynne - dr Jürgen Habermas – f6 Gail Halvorson - dl Jack Hanna – jm Françoise Hardy – da, db, jr, td, tu, wa Estelle Harris – ch, db, jk Neil Harvey – p6, John Hemingway - mp Dwayne Hickman – ts Jean Hindmarsh - gb Lucia Hiriart - gf - DNS DUE TO DEATH Georgia Holt – bg Ken Hom - rr Marilyn Horne – mn Mosharraf Hossain – af, pr Marsha Hunt – bg, p6 Douglas Hurd – gb Laura Hydes - cc Ion Iliescu - ch Ray Illingworth - ch- DNS DUE TO DEATH Hwang In-shik - jm James Ivory – bg Katherine Jackson – bg Rowena Jackson – bb Al Jaffe – dl, ol, tm Deborah James - oc Sister Jean – ch Bibi Johns – bb Glynis Johns - db Brian Johnson (AC/DC) – ts* Johnny – Dambuster -Johnson - gc Gwyneth Jones - yb James Earl Jones – ts Parnelli Jones – f6 Ted Kaczynski – gr Pauline “Granny Smith” Kana – jk Estanislao Esteban Karlic - cc Tracy Kashi – gr Mustafa Kayirici – bk, ms, sk, sm Agnes Keleti – bg, yb Tim Keller – jr, sk, sm Duchess of Kent - oc Duke of Kent – oc, rr Elizabeth Kelly – to Ethel Kennedy - to Mwai Kibaki – jk Don King - db Joe Kinnear - bk Henry Kissinger – dl, dp, jk, rr Cecile Klein - cc Mildred Kornman – ch, pr Carrie Ku Mei - jm Robert Kuok – jm Doug Kuzma – af, ba, dr, gr, jr Natalie Kwadrans – bk, pr Dan Lacey – ba, di, gr, ms, oc Cleo Laine – mn, yb Angela Lansbury – db, gf Larisa Latynina – f6 Denis Law - rr Phyllida Law – yb Nigel Lawson - bk, gb Ray Lawler – bg Esther Lee – ms, sk Everett Lee - di Tom Lehrer – gb Paul Le Mat – mn Adam Lewis - jr Jerry Lee Lewis – bb, di, gb, oc, ol, to, wa, yb Campbell Little – ms Sacheen Littlefeather – jk*, pr, sm Norman Lloyd - db - DIED IN FUCKING MAY 2021 (WTF WAS DB THINKING?) Loretta Lynn - oc June Lockhart – bg Gina Lollobrigida - gf James Lovelock – bg, jr, mp, to Jimmy Lydon - pr Lisa Lu – jm John Maddon - bb Alice Mahon – gc Lata Mangeshkar - jk Josip Manolic- dp, jk Imelda Marcos – ch, jm Doreen Mantle - gc Fina García Marruz – bb Jean Marsh – pr, to Dame Clare Marx – mp, sk, sm Brian May – ts Hazel McCallion – dp*, gf, tm Charles E McGee – p6 Stephen McMullan - ba Dick McTaggart - gc Greg Mears - gr Terry Medwin – yb Edwin Meese – ts Rachid Mekhloufi - da Käthe Menzel-Jordan – ch Lee Meriwether – tu Ivanka Mezan – f6 Brenda Milner - mp Marga Minco – ch Liza Minelli - oc Walter Mirisch – dl Joni Mitchell – db Scarlett Moffatt – gb Tyler Moldovan - ba Cesar Luis Monetti – bb Lee Montague - td Mike Mora – bk, cc, pr Hamako Mori – dp Desmond Morris – db Lloyd Morrisett - GC Nana Mouskouri – f6 Lucien Muller - da Alice Munro – gf Tomiichi Murayama - db Rupert Murdoch - gb Pete Murray – gb Giorgio Napolitano – bb, tu Willie Nelson – ol, ts Olivia Newton John – dp, oc, ol, rr, ts, tu, we Nichelle Nichols – ch, gf, ts Nightbirde (Jane Marczewski) – ms, sm Linda Nolan – dp, f6, p6, td, ts, tu Sandra Day O’Connor - dp Frank O'Farrell – bg René de Obaldia - tm Paul Oebel - dr Bob Oldis – yb Ryan O'Neal – gc, jk Yoko Ono – db, dp, ts Takashi Ono – jm Tin Oo – da Carlos Ortiz - db Ozzy Osbourne – ts, rr Meg Wynn Owen - jm Leonor Oyarzun – yb Geneviève Page – da Boris Pahor – di, dl, p6, wa Janis Paige - dl Rebecca Pan – jm Irene Papas – ch, mn, td Tom Parker – ol, we Owen Paterson - rr Stephen Pearcy - da Pele – af, bk, db, gc, jr, mn, mp, ms, oc, ol, pr, rr, sm, td, tm, tu, wa, we George Perez – af, bb*, bk, cc, dr, ms, sk, sm, td, tm*, tu, wa*, we* Isabel Peron - tu Nehemiah Persoff – dl, ol, tm Richard Petty – f6 Vicky Phelan – af, gr, mp, ms, oc Leslie Phillips – af, db*, di, dp, gb, gf, pr, td, to Florin Piersic – ch Amy Pieters – af, ms, oc* Lester Piggot – rr Silvia Pinal – af, bb, dr Gordon Pinsent - gf Gerald Pizzuto Jr – gr Hazel Plummer – pr Sidney Poitier – td, to Roman Polanski – gc Larry Pressler – ol, sm, tu Amy Price - cc PJ Proby – ch Leontyne Price – gb Mary Quant - to Marita Camacho Quiros – di Sohel Rana – af, ba, gr Lucille Randon – bb, sk, to C R Rao - dl Queen Ratna of Nepal – bb Paul Ray – af, ba, jr Chris Rea - ol Ray Reardon – gc Julia Reichert – ba, bk, da, ms Harry Reid – ol – DNS DUE TO DEATH François Remetter – da Joyce Reynolds - mp Aleksandar Ristic – f6 Jake the Snake Roberts – td, wa, we Gavin Robertson - jr Guillermo Rodriguez – da Johnny Rodz – f6 Johannes Rohen – f6 Richard Rohmer – gf Pau Riba Romeva - sm Linda Ronstadt – gc Patricia Routledge – f6, rr Art Rupe - tm Mikheil Saakashvili – oc Mike Sadler – p6 Mao Santa – dr Eve Marie Saint – p6 Antonia da Santa Cruz - cc Christos Sartzetakis – ba, bk, dr, jk, ms Kaikala Satyanarayana – dr, tm Prunella Scales – db, dl Brandt Schmitz – dr Michael Schumacher - dp Uwe Seller - mn Liliana Segre – gb Vic Seixas – di Abdullah Senussi - we Sirikit Thai Queen Mother - gc Baroness Sharples - yb Peng Shuai - jm Anthony Sher – bg, yb – DNS DUE TO DEATH Mervin Shiner – di Henry Silva – cc Fauja Singh - mp Amir Siraji - af Tom Smith – dr, gb, jk, p6, sm, we Mihai Sora – ch* Pierre Soulages - dl June Spencer – bg, dp, tm, yb Nigel Starmer Smith – bk, ms Susie Steiner – af, ba, bk, cc, di, gb, gf, gr, mp, ms, mn, ol, pr, sk, sm, tm, to, we Larry Storch -tu Valentine Strasser - jk Kane Tanaka – di, f6*,gr, mp, p6*, sk, to Norman Tebbit – cc, gb, p6, td Colin Thackery – gb Jack Thomas – sk, sm Collin Thompson - ba Nathalia Timberg – f6 Peter Tobin - rr Jorge Toro – ch Isabel Torres – ba, sm Constance Towers - mn Bill Treacher – bg Rose Tremain – mn Jessie Trevino - gr J-L Trintignant – bb, gb, jk, mn, mp, p6, pr, sk*, td, tm, tu, wa Neville Trotter – gc* Donald Trump - mp Shintaro Tsuji – gf Bill Turnbull – jk, mn*, we Billy Turner – af*, ba, bk, gr, jr, sk* - DNS DUE TO DEATH Tina Turner - ts Gudren Ure – gc, gf, yb Tony Vaccaro – bb Vadivelu - oc Caterina Valente – bb Franki Valli - wa Dick Van Dyke – ts Nobel Vega - bb Anne Vernon – da Beryl Vertue – to Gianluca Vialli - we Bobby Vinton – bb Natty Wailer – jr, ms Mollie Walker – jm* Norma O. Walker – f6 Barbara Walters – bg, gc, ts Julie Walters - jk Anthony Wameli - gr Burt Ward - rr Norma Waterson – yb Dwight Watson - jr James Dewey Watson* - bg, da, to Doddie Weir – dl Fritz Wepper - we Don West – bk, jr Timothy West - dl Tom Weiskopf – ol James Whale – jk, td, tm, wa Betty White – dp, gc, jk, oc, ts – DNS DUE TO DEATH (FUCKING CLOSE, MIND) Dot Wilkinson – yb Alyson Williams - ba Sir Frank Williams – ts – DNS DUE TO DEATH E.O. Wilson – gc - DNS DUE TO DEATH Henry Winkler – rr Joanne Woodward – di, td, to Nancy Worley – ms – DNS DUE TO DEATH Bowie Wu – jm Catherine Wybourne - gr Arnald Yarrow - ol Ron Yeats – rr* Qin Yi- jm Tiffany Youngs - cc Chor Yuen – jm Yuriko, Princess Mikasa – jm Mauricio Zamparini - af Anastasia Zavorotnyuk - jk Milos Zeman – ch, di, f6, jk, jr, tm, tu, wa, yb Jiang Zemin – dp, jm, tu Khaleda Zia – bk, di, jk, jr, ms, tm, we 3 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
maryportfuncity 10,630 Posted November 1, 2021 Veteran parliamentarian Frank will Field any questions about the rules Deathrace 2022 - Those Rules in Full: 1 - The object of the Deathrace is to be the first contestant to reach 2022 points. 2 - To enter the Deathrace a contestant must have: i: a team of twenty topplers and a minimum of two subs ("topplers" must be at least 18 years old on 1 Jan 2022; but are otherwise unrestricted). ii: Deathlist membership (i.e. be at least a pointless ranter and at most a dedicated Cumbrian corpse hound, or summat) 2a: A player may enter as many team members facing execution as s/he wants but said picks will only count for deathrace points if they die by means other than state execution - murder, suicide, ill health etc. 3 - Entries close promptly at midnight on 30 December 2021 and entry can be made either by sending a team of twenty to MPFC via PM hereabouts and/or by posting a team of twenty on the Deathrace 2022 thread. 3a: Once a team has entered in the manner described above the line-up can’t be changed for any other reason than the death of a team member before the start of the competition. In the event of a team being short of members because of more deaths than available subs MPFC will negotiate last minute changes with the team manager. 4 - Players score points every time a team member dies and accrues an obit (see point 9 below) and the score for each death is calculated as one point for each complete calendar day remaining in 2022 after the death of the team member; so a death on 1 January earns 364 pts, a death on 2 January earns 363 pts etc. 5 - Each team must nominate one member as a joker and the joker scores double points on death. Any team submitted without a clearly nominated joker will be allotted said joker on the basis of the name at the top of the team sheet being so designated. 6 - The winner is the first player to reach or exceed 2022 pts. 7 - In the event that a death or deaths on a specific day push more than one player beyond a winning score the player with the highest overall score will be deemed to be the winner. 8 - In the event that two or more players tie for victory a Deathrace play off will ensue with all potential winners continuing to compete until such time as one potential winner scores more points than any other potential winner (such points continuing to be accrued as per the scoring system described in point 4 above). 9 - An "obit" in the context of the Deathrace is any news report in English from a reliable source. Such sources include - but are not limited to - UK national press, UK national broadcast organisations, foreign press and broadcast organisations with an English language thread to their communication, trade press in English, local news organisations reporting in English and coverage in specialist online sites, such as those monitoring the well-being of super-centenarians. Where dispute arises over the qualifying nature of a news source for obit purposes MPFC's decision is final. But he wants fast and furious competition and is generally very amenable to low hanging dead pool fruit of all varieties. 10 - To qualify for entry purposes team members must be alive at 00-01 hrs on 1 January 2022 or qualify for the Raymond Hewlitt Memorial Exemption (RHME) (see point 11). 11 - In honour of everybody's favourite Maddie-implicated paedo scum a candidate widely believed to be alive on 1 January and subsequently proven to have died previously will be awarded 365 points in the event that a Deathrace qualifying obit subsequently appears for said candidate. In the event that a Deathrace qualifying obit for the candidate is subsequently proven to have existed prior to commencement of the Deathrace all points will be voided. RHME points are only available during competition and in the event that a winner has been declared before discovery of a qualifyiing RHME candidate no revision of the final result will occur. Similarly, if some lucky candidate is awarded RHME points and these points are still in play at the time a winner is declared the points will not subsequently be voided and may - therefore - count towards a championship. All disputes relating to RHME will be resolved by the astute judgement of MPFC and there is no appeals procedure (though all sides of opionion are warmly invited to liven up the Deathrace thread by venting their fury). 11a - Similarly to pt 11 above, if an obited death occurs during play of the Deathrace and is missed despite MPFC's best efforts to stay in touch and/or the spirited efforts of Deathrace participants and said death is missed in totting up points, after which a winner is declared, then this death will not count for competition purposes. The same is true in the case of a known death gathering a late obit and therefore allowing some other competitor to be declared a winner. All disputes relating to rule 11a will be resolved by the astute judgement of MPFC and there is no appeals procedure (though all sides of opionion are warmly invited to liven up the Deathrace thread by venting their fury). 12 - In the event that Deathlist editing options or other online trickery is discovered to have been employed in the editing of teams, those duly fingered for such cheating will be removed from the Deathrace and banned for life from subsequent entry into Deathraces. 13 - The prize will be awarded as follows: i: Should the winner agree to attend a DLCon with MPFC a double measure of alcholic drinks (pints, wine or spirits) will be supplied by MPFC along with much hearty congratulations and back-slapping. ii: A carefully chosen and appropriate prize will be posted to the winner (such as the DVD copy of the original Deathrace movie supplied to the 2009 champion). iii: MPFC will make a charitable donation to a cause of the winner's choice (as has been the case with all but one winnings of the Deathrace). This course of action is highly encouraged and is known to show dead poolers as something other than the sicko scum many ranters believe us to be. AND FINALLY... A masterlist of entries will be posted after the closing date. MPFC will undertake to update the scoreboard at least once every seven days. On completion of Deathrace activities the thread will get lively for a short while as losing contestants and spectators offer well-deserved congratulations to the skillful and highly talented new champion, after which time it is expected that the cooling corpse of the thread will be allowed to gently sink into oblivion. 5 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
maryportfuncity 10,630 Posted November 1, 2021 Deathrace form guide #1 Shane MacGowan Perennial pisshead, die-hard drug hoover and all round self-abuse champion with a pedigree stretching back to the start of this site, and before that. Previously a permanent tease for dead poolers of all descriptions but as a few of his ilk have shown, none of these hard livers fond of liver damage are immortal. George Best was 59 (and he took exercise with his plethora of pop), Oliver Reed was 61, Shane turns 64 on Christmas Day. 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
gcreptile 10,963 Posted November 1, 2021 My God, already? (Can't wait) 1 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
maryportfuncity 10,630 Posted November 1, 2021 Deathrace form guide #2 Mollie Walker Just read she is ill, oh, wait a minute, got that wrong, the old girl from Oxfordshire is...111! 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
maryportfuncity 10,630 Posted November 1, 2021 3 minutes ago, gcreptile said: My God, already? (Can't wait) So, you'll be pitting your topplers against the rest of us, then! Entries are open so "already" is usually around this time of year - starts no sooner than it ever did, mind. 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bibliogryphon 9,565 Posted November 1, 2021 Team In 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
maryportfuncity 10,630 Posted November 1, 2021 Deathrace Form Guide #3 Yoko Ono Subject of much attention and shuffle-off speculation hereabouts. Her longevity might be down to quality genes or the unique dietary habit in which she's lived off one dead Beatle for 41 years. Either way, the soon to be 89- year-old is another perennial poolers' tease who is known to be in poor shape. As many who have encountered the less listenable corners of a highly strange solo career will attest her final death rattle will be well short of the most hideous sound she has made. 1 5 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
msc 18,427 Posted November 1, 2021 3 minutes ago, maryportfuncity said: Deathrace Form Guide #3 Yoko Ono Subject of much attention and shuffle-off speculation hereabouts. Her longevity might be down to quality genes or the unique dietary habit in which she's lived off one dead Beatle for 41 years. Either way, the soon to be 89- year-old is another perennial poolers' tease who is known to be in poor shape. As many who have encountered the less listenable corners of a highly strange solo career will attest her final death rattle will be well short of the most hideous sound she has made. I love how you wrote a book which defended Yoko and are still the one making this gag. Never change, MPFC! 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
maryportfuncity 10,630 Posted November 1, 2021 6 minutes ago, msc said: I love how you wrote a book which defended Yoko and are still the one making this gag. Never change, MPFC! Aw, thanks! 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
maryportfuncity 10,630 Posted November 1, 2021 Deathrace form Guide #4 Daniella Westbrook Spent her 45th birthday alone in bed a few weeks back and continues with a car crash lifestyle that still rakes in a little cash from tabloid tell-alls and the like. Coke and cancer have both taken their toll and her face rivals the Forth Bridge for man-hours devoted to regular maintenance of a structure long past its best. DDP gold if she cashed in given her relatively young age, more of a fortune favours the brave Deathrace punt where it's all about instant gratification and fleeting pleasures. January is a testing time for the terminally fragile and self-obsessed, just sayin' 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Grim Up North 3,725 Posted November 1, 2021 A cautionary tale for any young folks out there planning to wed their future spouse based solely on looks. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
maryportfuncity 10,630 Posted November 2, 2021 20 hours ago, msc said: I love how you wrote a book which defended Yoko and are still the one making this gag. Never change, MPFC! Oh aye, and... 4 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
The Immortal 634 Posted November 2, 2021 Let me give this a shot. Brian Johnson (Joker) Yoko Ono Ozzy Osbourne Sir Bobby Charlton Nichelle Nichols Dick Van Dyke Willie Nelson Bob Dylan Queen Elizabeth II Sir Frank Williams. Replacement: Edwin Meese Barbara Walters Brian May Bob Dole. Replacement: Tina Turner Roger Donlon Linda Nolan Betty White. Replacement: Mikhail Gorbachev James Earl Jones Harry Belafonte Dwayne Hickman Olivia Newton-John Subs Edwin Meese: MOVED TO MAIN LIST Tina Turner: MOVED TO MAIN LIST Mikhail Gorbachev: MOVED TO MAIN LIST 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bibliogryphon 9,565 Posted November 2, 2021 1 hour ago, TheSpinosaurus said: Let me give this a shot. Brian Johnson (Joker) Yoko Ono Ozzy Osbourne Sir Bobby Charlton Nichelle Nichols Dick Van Dyke Willie Nelson Bob Dylan Queen Elizabeth II Sir Frank Williams Barbara Walters Brian May Bob Dole Roger Donlon Linda Nolan Betty White James Earl Jones Harry Belafonte Dwayne Hickman Olivia Newton-John Subs Edwin Meese Tina Turner Mikhail Gorbachev Interesting I sent my team by DM yesterday We only have one cross over This could be a very interesting year there seem no dead certs 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DeathByArsenic 46 Posted November 2, 2021 Deathrace form Guide #5 Rachid Mekhloufi The Saint-Étienne/Algerian Legend is now 85 and not in the best of health 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Death Impends 7,953 Posted November 2, 2021 Deathrace form Guide #6 Bob Dole Bob Dole can't believe Bob Dole is still alive after Bob Dole was diagnosed with lung cancer in March. Bob Dole thinks you should all pick Bob Dole and show Bob Dole more love than Bob Dole ever got in 96. Bob Dole is Bob Dole and Bob Dole approves this message. 2 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
maryportfuncity 10,630 Posted November 2, 2021 2 hours ago, Death Impends said: Deathrace form Guide #5 Bob Dole Bob Dole can't believe Bob Dole is still alive after Bob Dole was diagnosed with lung cancer in March. Bob Dole thinks you should all pick Bob Dole and show Bob Dole more love than Bob Dole ever got in 96. Bob Dole is Bob Dole and Bob Dole approves this message. He's #6 - so next person post #7, okay? 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
maryportfuncity 10,630 Posted November 2, 2021 On second thoughts Deathrace Form Guide #7 Jerry Lee Lewis Veteran (86-year-old) raiser of hell, and rock n roll legend (basically the only one worthy of that label still breathing). I'll let the man speak for himself, it's fairly obvious no hell is likely to be raised in future, indeed raising him from the chair to the toilet may be a task currently requiring assistance. The appearance of this video on the man's own thread hereabouts has prompted picks in pools for next year. Deathrace rewards the brave (or lucky) and those deftly drawn to those likely to decease in the opening days of the new year. Whether Jerry Lee has one more crowd pleasing performance in him by way of providing points aplenty in such circumstances is possibly the only question left to be resolved in his career. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Death Impends 7,953 Posted November 2, 2021 7 minutes ago, maryportfuncity said: He's #6 - so next person post #7, okay? Good catch, Death Impends forgot to change the number so Death Impends fixed it now Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
maryportfuncity 10,630 Posted November 2, 2021 Just now, Death Impends said: Good catch, Death Impends forgot to change the number so Death Impends fixed it now Thanks. We may be blatantly speculating on the available hours of people loved and cherished by others - but we have standards to maintain here, right? 3 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
maryportfuncity 10,630 Posted November 2, 2021 Deathrace Form Guide #8 James Whale Radio personality fond of saying "If you don't like it, go to Russia." Terminal case who is out about the prognosis and tidying up the unfinished business by way of getting hitched etc. So there's a sense of time rapidly running out. The serious question facing Deathracers is whether we'll be blubbering because we went with the Whale, or whether we'll be blubbering because we left him alone. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
CaptainChorizo 1,976 Posted November 3, 2021 Deathrace Form Guide #9 Amalia Aguilar The 97 year old actress/dancer has worked alongside such legends as Buster Keaton, Carmen Miranda and Bob Hope,and is one of the last living links of the Golden Age of Mexican Cinema in the 40s and 50s. Frail and wheelchair/housebound she might be one of the better choices for your team at the startline. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
