MMMDP 2022

[maryportfuncity 10,641]

21 entrants (20 quickest off the mark plus your host and - ahem - master, Maryportfuncity). Competition opens on 1 June with the aim of getting a winner by midsummer's day.

This is Maryport’s Midsummer Madness Dead Pool 2022 (That’ll be MMMDP to you lot!)

 

 

Lizzie looms large in the dead pooling pantheon of late - so we've whipped her into line to MC the midsummer madness!

 

 

 

 

MMMDP 2022 - That masterlist in full

 

 

 

Bibliogryphon – Dame Deborah James

Drol - Zeta Emilianidou

Theoldlady - Alexander Kojo Kum

Book – Steve McMichael

Spade_Cooley - "El Bronco" Jaime Rodríguez Calderón

Sean - Balwinder Safri

RoverandOut -  Frank Field.

Great Uncle Bulgaria - Colonel Mikhail Khodarenok

Grim up North - Ruben Studdard

Sir Creep - Dr Greg Mears

CaptainChorizo - Um Aing-ran

Annami - Nigel Taylor

ThereWillBeDeaths7 – Leslie Philips

Perhaps - Red Farmer

Gcreptile - Abdel Rahman Abou Zahra

JoeyRuss - Sinisa Mihajlovic

Death Impends - Lloyd Geering

Salmon Mousse - Carl Kabat

Wannamaker - Peter Tobin

GuyFromFuture - Janice Laking

MPFC - Ethel Caterham

MSC - Bob Barker

 

[maryportfuncity 10,641]

 

Non of yer half-baked shite here, proper rules forged over years of intense competition and sound dead pool management, or summat

 

21 entrants (20 quickest off the mark plus your host and - ahem – master, Maryportfuncity). Competition opens on 1 June with the aim of getting a winner by midsummer's day.

Maryport’s Midsummer Madness Dead Pool 2022 (That’ll be MMMDP to you lot!)

 

And those Rules in Full:

 

 

 

1 - The object of the MMMDP is to WIN.

 

 

 

2 - To enter the MMMDP a contestant must have: A candidate not selected by another other entrant.

 

A “candidate” in this context means a living person aged 18 or over who remains alive at midnight on May 31st and is considered likely to cease living soon after and also be capable of gaining a qualifying obit – see rule 9 below – upon death. The only exception to this rule are persons residing on death row with an execution falling within June 2022 (feel free to risk a death rower due to take the final walk from 1 July).

 

 

 

3 - Entries open at 9-00am BST on 31st May and close at midnight on 31 May. Entry can only be made by posting the name of a candidate on the MMMDP thread on the Deathlist.

 

 

 

4 – The competition is deemed to be open at 00-00-01 (i.e. the first second of the day) BST hrs on 1 June 2022.

 

 

 

5 – Competition ceases on the death of the first nominated pick on the list of candidates and the winner is the dead pooler who has selected said candidate.

5a – In the event that all 21 selections remain breathing as of midnight on 21 June competition ceases anyway and the selections are deemed to have won. It is likely – but not mandatory – in these circumstances that DL posters who have not entered will heap mockery and abuse on the 21 entrants who have failed to select a stiff despite the highly permissive policy of entrants and qualifying obits of MMMDP.

 

 

6 – Entry is limited to 21 players (twenty who are obliged to post entries on the MMMDP thread and Maryport who reserves a right of entry as the master of ceremonies for this endeavour). Presumably the artistic intent is obvious but in case you missed it the idea is to get 21 players to compete for a death within 21 days thereby giving us a victory by midsummer’s day at the latest. If you’re snoozin’ you’re losing.

 

 

 

6a – Because he has forced his own entry Maryport guarantees to respect the first 20 qualifying picks and only enter a candidate unselected by the others. Thereby ensuring the really hot selections go to others.

 

 

 

7 - In the event that two players select the same candidate the allocation of the pick will go to the player who first posted an entry for that candidate – even if the entry times are within the same minute.

 

 

 

8 – In the event that two players tie for victory on the basis of picks expiring on the same day all efforts will be made to ascertain a winner on the basis of the actual time of death. For these purposes local time of death will be translated to GMT if required.

 

 

 

9 - An "obit" in the context of the MMMDP is any news report in English from a reliable source. Such sources include - but are not limited to - UK national press, UK national broadcast organisations, foreign press and broadcast organisations with an English language thread to their communication, trade press in English, local news organisations reporting in English and coverage in specialist online sites, such as those monitoring the well-being of super-centenarians. Where dispute arises over the qualifying nature of a news source for obit purposes MPFC's decision is final. But he wants fast and furious competition and is generally very amenable to low hanging dead pool fruit of all varieties.

 

 

 

10 – The Raymond Hewlett Memorial Award applies to the MMMDP. In honour of everybody's favourite Maddie-implicated paedo scum a candidate widely believed to be alive when the winner is declared and subsequently proven to have died previously will be awarded victory in the event that a MMMDP qualifying obit subsequently appears for said candidate. In the event that a MMMDP qualifying obit for the candidate is subsequently proven to have existed prior to commencement of the MMMDP the initial victory will be voided. RHME assisted victory is only available during competition, and in the event that competition is ended before discovery of a qualifying RHME candidate no revision of the final result will occur. Similarly, if some lucky candidate is awarded RHME victory and this victory – once declared – is proven to be spurious by late discovery of a qualifying obit; the lucky winner will be allowed to keep his/her lucky win. With this in mind rule 10a has been drawn up. Given the lengthy build-up and rapid victories of past years the least we should get from the one-day period is some entertaining banter on the thread if some desperate entrant is busily digging on little visited websites for confirmation of death of a “well known” breeder of gerbils or the like!

 

 

 

10a – To ensure smooth operation of rule 10 the period for discovery of result altering obits is deemed to be 48 hours plus the remainder of the calendar day in which victory is first claimed. In other words two days and a part of another day.

 

 

 

11 - If an obited death occurs during play of the MMMDP and is missed despite MPFC's best efforts to stay in touch and/or the spirited efforts of MMMDP participants and said death is missed in totting up points, after which a winner is declared, then this death will not count for competition purposes. The same is true in the case of a known death gathering a late obit and therefore allowing some other competitor to be declared a winner. All disputes relating to rule 11 will be resolved by the astute judgement of MPFC and there is no appeals procedure (though all sides of opinion are warmly invited to liven up the MMMDP thread by venting their fury).

 

 

 

12 - In the event that Deathlist editing options or other online trickery is discovered to have been employed in the editing of entries, those duly fingered for such cheating will be removed from the MMMDP and banned for life from subsequent entry into MMMDPs.

 

 

 

13 – In the unlikely event that a pick selected on 31 May fails to mark the start line the entrant selecting said pick will still be deemed to have entered the competition and will have until midnight 1 June to select a new pick (unselected by other entrants). Should the entrant fail to do so no other entrant will be allowed in as a replacement.

 

 

 

14 - A prize will be awarded as follows:

 

i: Should the winner agree to attend a DLCon with MPFC a double measure of alcoholic drinks (pints, wine or spirits) will be supplied by MPFC along with much hearty congratulations and back-slapping.

 

ii: A carefully chosen and appropriate prize will be posted to the winner (such as the DVD copy of the original Death Race movie supplied to the 2009 Deathrace). iii: MPFC will make a charitable donation to a cause of the winner's choice (as has been the case with all but one of the previous winnings of the Deathrace). This course of action is highly encouraged and is known to show dead poolers as something other than the sicko scum many ranters believe us to be.

 

 

 

AND FINALLY...

 

On completion of MMMDP activities the thread will get lively for a short while as losing contestants and spectactors offer well-deserved congratulations to the skilful and highly talented new champion, after which time it is expected that the cooling corpse of the thread will be allowed to gently sink into oblivion.

[maryportfuncity 10,641]

 

Reet marras, git among it! (English: Right my friends - let us begin)

 

MMMDP Form Guide #1 

 

 

 

 

Alan Brazil 

 

 

Claims to "enjoy" his light refreshment (i.e. maintains his drink driving conviction and daily tonnage of units is a lifestyle choice and therefore not evidence of alcoholism), then again he claims to know things about football others find - ahem - bemusing. May soon face legal action for bringing the beetroot family into public disrepute (specifically because the most inane moments in his broadcasts plumb hitherto undreamt of depths for utterances attributed to a "vegetable") and evidences a complexion suggesting medical science may want to investigate him to see if the current world record for the shortest distance between the outside wall of a blood vessel and the outside world is under threat. An early June heatwave could cause spontaneous combustion given the surface temperatures on Alan Brazil are considered unduly high, alternatively he may, simply, burst. 

 

[maryportfuncity 10,641]

 

 

MMMDP Form Guide #2 

 

 

 

Cody Fuller 

 

Aw c'mon, everyone knows...well maybe not, but this is a timely reminder that the low-hanging q/o criteria of the D L Cup extend agreeably to this competition and current "talent" languishing thereabouts might be of use hereabouts, or summat. Yer man Fuller is one of a few palliative cases worthy of investigation who may make a final, decisive play, just after the end of May.

 

[maryportfuncity 10,641]

MMMDP Form Guide #3

 

 

 

 

Vladimir Putin 

 

Would a winning carker ever be more popular than Putin? Rumoured to have a slew of fatal diseases sufficient to make David Crosby look like an advert for healthy lifestyles and apparently copping it in a coup someday soon. Putin's Botox inscrutability betrays nothing, other than the fact his face is frozen in some emotionless realm he imagines as impressive to others, and the rumours persist but seldom deliver. If voodoo dolls or the wishes of others were truly effective in bringing about sudden death then the man would be a shoo-in for every short term dead pool curently in progress. As it is, he remains an outside bet, but one a brave dead pooler may come to celebrate.

[gcreptile 10,964]

37 minutes ago, maryportfuncity said:

 

 

MMMDP Form Guide #2 

 

 

 

Cody Fuller 

 

Aw c'mon, everyone knows...well maybe not, but this is a timely reminder that the low-hanging q/o criteria of the D L Cup extend agreeably to this competition and current "talent" languishing thereabouts might be of use hereabouts, or summat. Yer man Fuller is one of a few palliative cases worthy of investigation who may make a final, decisive play, just after the end of May.

 

Now that was fast. He died today according to the update on the gofundme:

https://www.gofundme.com/f/lets-help-the-fuller-family

[maryportfuncity 10,641]

2 minutes ago, gcreptile said:

Now that was fast. He died today according to the update on the gofundme:

https://www.gofundme.com/f/lets-help-the-fuller-family

 

 

Reptile's DL Cup joker, too - so he's livened up one competition even if he's ruled himself out of this one.

[gcreptile 10,964]

MMMDP form guide #4

 

Peter Tobin

 

Scottish serial killer with possibly quite a few victims yet to be identified. Slowly dying from cancer in prison for years, and regularly hospitalised since last year. The police is still following some leads to prove more of his crimes so they can ask him while he still breathes - which kind of implies that they have to hurry.

[maryportfuncity 10,641]

MMMDP Form Guide #5 

 

 

 

Cllr Nigel Taylor

 

A Conservative who made promises that appealed to many, specifically that he was stepping down in February because the "months to live" meant he thought the whole of April an ambitious target. Whether his continued well-being ranks alongside any Brexit related lies, the blather about the Northern Ireland protocol or Boris Johnson's occasional inability to recall exactly how many children he has, where he might have spent a particular night or how much cake and wine it takes before a work meeting tips into a party is something of a moot point. DL Cup jokers have been wasted in recent weeks. But, could the man redeem himself by being the one to win MMMDP?

[arghton 6,696]

MMMDP Form Guide #6

 

Violeta Chamorro

Former President of Nicaragua (1990-1997) and activist. She had already been in failing health for over a decade with osteoporosis and brain tumors before suffering a serious stroke in 2018. Now completely bedbound and also suffering from dementia, how long can the 92-year-old coffin tease keep going?

[Spade_Cooley 9,515]

MMMDP Form Guide #7

 

Sister Jean

 

 

Not actually a nun as she doesn't live a cloistered existence. Still, everyone's favourite centenarian basketball scout is still with us aged 102, and attended her beloved Loyola Ramblers' NCAA Division I game in person again this year, where they were dumped out 54-41 by Ohio State. Is she a 4.5/5 pick for your MMMDP draft?

[CaptainChorizo 1,977]

MMMDP Form Guide #8

 

 Wanda Poltawska

 

 

The Polish Author survived torture  at Ravensbruck Concentration, then in 1962 was given 18 months to live after a cancer diagnosis.  Maybe not the odds on favorite to win you MMMDP 2022,but \one of the few picks who give you a punter's chance and have a Biopic worthy life story.

 

[maryportfuncity 10,641]

1 hour ago, CaptainChorizo said:

MMMDP Form Guide #8

 

 Wanda Poltawska

 

 

The Polish Author survived torture  at Ravensbruck Concentration, then in 1962 was given 18 months to live after a cancer diagnosis.  Maybe not the odds on favorite to win you MMMDP 2022,but \one of the few picks who give you a punter's chance and have a Biopic worthy life story.

 

 

 

Hmm, Daniella Westbrook might yet have the comeback role of a lifetime!

 

[ladyfiona 2,577]

Deborah James - She has terminal bowel cancer and now home with her parents after trying all the treatments apparently possible. Her damehood couldn't wait for a few months and so Prince William gave it to her few days ago.

 

[arghton 6,696]

MMMDP Form Guide #10

 

Boris Pahor

Slovene novelist, living in Italy, born in Austria-Hungary. He witnessed the Italian black shirts burning the Slovene Community Hall in 1920 and saw the rise of fascism during his childhood. Before the start of the Second World War, he established contacts to underground Slovene intellectuals and members of the Slovene militant anti-fascist organization TIGR. After the start of the war, in 1940, he was drafted into the Italian army and fought in Libya. In 1943 he returned to Trieste, now under nazi occupation. He joined the Slovene partisans and soon after was caught and handed over to the nazis. He was transported to Dachau concentration camp, relocated to Markirch, then to Natzweiler-Struthof, back to Dachau, to Mittelbau-Dora, Harzungen and finally to Bergen-Belsen that was liberated in April 1945. After spending around 20 months recovering in a French sanatorium he returned to Trieste, now under allied occupation (later a part of Yugoslavia), graduated and became a dissident author, most known for his autobiographical novel Necropolis (1967). He was later banned from entering Yugoslavia while in Italy. He was interviewed by BBC in 2019. 

Now 108, Pahor, the oldest concentration camp survivor, third-oldest living notable person and the fourth-oldest man in his country has been in frail health for years. He's blind, almost deaf, looked more like an eldritch abomination than a human on his 108th birthday and hasn't left his house many times during the last year, could he prove to be mortal at the start of June?

[maryportfuncity 10,641]

MMMDP Form Guide #11

 

 

 

 

Ethel Caterham

 

Ethel Caterham, sources close to Ethel have stated Boris Pahor is nothing but a young upstart and his presence in this form guide is a distraction. He should fook off to places where q/o requirements are more demanding and leave this form guide to those who're nailed on local press write ups when they die, particularly if they're 112!

[Sean 6,311]

MMMDP Form Guide #12  

 

 

Lucile Randon 

 

Lucile`s reaction at Pahor and Caterham being seen as  valid candidates for this pool.Guaranteed to obit for being the oldest person in the world the oldest Nun ever , the oldest person to ever catch and recover from Covid 19 as well as being most likely the oldest woman Emmanuel Macron  has made a pass at.

 

 

[Sean 6,311]

MMMDP Form Guide #13

 

 

 

Steve McMichael

 

The 64 year old former Wrestler and American football player is now under 24 hour nursing care and his wife says " he is suffering more than Jesus". Looking at photos like this she may have a valid claim there.

[maryportfuncity 10,641]

MMMDP Form Guide #14

 

 

 

George W Bush 

 

75 and subject to massive Freudian slippage by way of - apparently - admitting the illegality of the massive war that would have been unlikely to start without him. That said, I'm posting him here and now because the FBI appear to have foiled a fairly serious plot to assassinate him this year. Are we sure they caught, like, everyone involved?

[arghton 6,696]

MMMDP Form Guide #15

 

O Kuk-ryol

 

 

Covid (or "fever", as they call it there for some reason) is spreading like wildfire in North Korea with reportedly around 200,000 cases a day, picking the very frail 92-year-old General, advisor to multiple Kims and former "second most powerful man in the country" could be a good decision. 

[CaptainChorizo 1,977]

MMMDP Form Guide #16

 

Bobby Cox

 

 

The 81 year old Hall Of Fame Baseball manager since 2019 has had multiple strokes and hospitalizations. Was too ill to attend any of the 2021 world series game when his hometown Braves competed. Similiar to the late Tommy Lasorda,the kind of old timer who loves getting cheered by baseball crowds and only stops showing up to events when on the Reapers Radar.

[maryportfuncity 10,641]

MMMDP Form Guide #17

 

 

 

Dick Brewer 

 

Venerated surf-board designer, innovative, pioneering and all the usual stuff that makes for an obit. Plus his personality is mercurial to the point even surfing's online encylopedia of choice throws the word "moody" in right at the start. Surf's Joey Barton, Neil Young...or summat, then. His enigmatic tendencies include combining a life currently - ahem - lived at death's door with a perplexing refusal to fall off the wave sufficiently to offer anyone in this month's round of the DL Cup any points. Not that I'm bitter, or owt, but I'm just wondering if he's MMMDP gold as he catches his final big one. 

 

[Doulton 34]

MMMDP Form Guide #18

 

Luis Echeverria

Mexican lawyer, academic and politician affiliated with the Institutional Revolutionary Party (PRI), who served as the 57th President of Mexico from 1970 to 1976.

[YorkshireBanker 168]

MMMDP Form Guide #19

 

Dick Hall

 

If Brewer crashes out in the surf here is a Dick hard enough to stiff out the competition

[GuyFromFuture 69]

MMMDP Form Guide #20

Leslie Phillips

 

June 2022 seems like his time to die