maryportfuncity 10,657 Posted May 22 Yers all know the score by now...21 entrants (20 quickest off the mark plus your host and - ahem - master, Maryportfuncity). Competition opens on 1 June with the aim of getting a winner by midsummer's day. This is Maryport’s Midsummer Madness Dead Pool 2024 (That’ll be MMMDP to you lot!) MMMDP Hall of Fame: 2016 – Spade Cooley (Jerome Lewis) 2 June 2017 - CaptainChorizo (Errol Christie) 11 June 2018 – The Dead Cow (Irene Jones) 1 June 2019 - Clorox Bleachman (Ani Yudhoyono) 1 June 2020 – Toast (Willie Thorne) 17 June 2021 –Perhaps (Nacho Laun) 1 June 2022 – Drol (Zeta Emilianidou) 6 June 2023 - An Fear Beag (Beverley Shade) 2 June 2024 - drol (Tin Oo) 1 June MASTERLIST 1. Simon Cowell MBE - Summer in Transylvania 2. Anne Baker – Wannamaker 3. Jayapataki Swami – ThereWillBeDeaths 7 4. Jane McAlevey – Book 5. Tin Oo – Drol 6. Noam Chomsky – Grimgrass 7. Steve McMichael – Steve (troll) 8. Jimmy Carter – Billiogryphon 9. Mažeika Patricio Sulliván – Spade Cooley 10. Frank Caprio – theoldlady 11. Esther Rantzen – Sean 12. Henry Mountcharles – gcreptile 13. Albert Fujimori – Charles de Gaulle 14. Paul Harrell – An Fear Beag 15. Muazzez İlmiye Çığ – Captain Chorizo 16. Betty Webb – time 17. Linda Nolan – The Old Crem 18. Amarildo – perhaps 19. Jane Morgan – Great Uncle Bulgaria 20. Sven-Goran Eriksson – Grim up North 21. John Hemigway - Maryportfuncity 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
maryportfuncity 10,657 Posted May 22 Non of yer half-baked shite here, proper rules forged over years of intense competition and sound dead pool management, or summat 21 entrants (20 quickest off the mark plus your host and - ahem – master, Maryportfuncity). Competition opens on 1 June with the aim of getting a winner by midsummer's day. Maryport’s Midsummer Madness Dead Pool 2024 (That’ll be MMMDP to you lot!) And those Rules in Full: 1 - The object of the MMMDP is to WIN. 2 - To enter the MMMDP a contestant must have: A candidate not selected by another other entrant. A “candidate” in this context means a living person aged 18 or over who remains alive at midnight on May 31st and is considered likely to cease living soon after and also be capable of gaining a qualifying obit – see rule 9 below – upon death. The only exception to this rule are persons residing on death row with an execution falling within June 2024 (feel free to risk a death rower due to take the final walk from 1 July). 3 - Entries open at 9-00am BST on 31st May and close at midnight on 31 May. Entry can only be made by posting the name of a candidate on the MMMDP thread on the Deathlist. 4 – The competition is deemed to be open at 00-00-01 (i.e. the first second of the day) BST hrs on 1 June 2024. 5 – Competition ceases on the death of the first nominated pick on the list of candidates and the winner is the dead pooler who has selected said candidate. 5a – In the event that all 21 selections remain breathing as of midnight on 21 June competition ceases anyway and the selections are deemed to have won. It is likely – but not mandatory – in these circumstances that DL posters who have not entered will heap mockery and abuse on the 21 entrants who have failed to select a stiff despite the highly permissive policy of entrants and qualifying obits of MMMDP. 6 – Entry is limited to 21 players (twenty who are obliged to post entries on the MMMDP thread and Maryport who reserves a right of entry as the master of ceremonies for this endeavour). Presumably the artistic intent is obvious but in case you missed it the idea is to get 21 players to compete for a death within 21 days thereby giving us a victory by midsummer’s day at the latest. If you’re snoozin’ you’re losing. 6a – Because he has forced his own entry Maryport guarantees to respect the first 20 qualifying picks and only enter a candidate unselected by the others. Thereby ensuring the really hot selections go to others. 7 - In the event that two players select the same candidate the allocation of the pick will go to the player who first posted an entry for that candidate – even if the entry times are within the same minute. 8 – In the event that two players tie for victory on the basis of picks expiring on the same day all efforts will be made to ascertain a winner on the basis of the actual time of death. For these purposes local time of death will be translated to GMT if required. 9 - An "obit" in the context of the MMMDP is any news report in English from a reliable source. Such sources include - but are not limited to - UK national press, UK national broadcast organisations, foreign press and broadcast organisations with an English language thread to their communication, trade press in English, local news organisations reporting in English and coverage in specialist online sites, such as those monitoring the well-being of super-centenarians. Where dispute arises over the qualifying nature of a news source for obit purposes MPFC's decision is final. But he wants fast and furious competition and is generally very amenable to low hanging dead pool fruit of all varieties. 10 – The Raymond Hewlett Memorial Award applies to the MMMDP. In honour of everybody's favourite Maddie-implicated paedo scum a candidate widely believed to be alive when the winner is declared and subsequently proven to have died previously will be awarded victory in the event that a MMMDP qualifying obit subsequently appears for said candidate. In the event that a MMMDP qualifying obit for the candidate is subsequently proven to have existed prior to commencement of the MMMDP the initial victory will be voided. RHME assisted victory is only available during competition, and in the event that competition is ended before discovery of a qualifying RHME candidate no revision of the final result will occur. Similarly, if some lucky candidate is awarded RHME victory and this victory – once declared – is proven to be spurious by late discovery of a qualifying obit; the lucky winner will be allowed to keep his/her lucky win. With this in mind rule 10a has been drawn up. Given the lengthy build-up and rapid victories of past years the least we should get from the one-day period is some entertaining banter on the thread if some desperate entrant is busily digging on little visited websites for confirmation of death of a “well known” breeder of gerbils or the like! 10a – To ensure smooth operation of rule 10 the period for discovery of result altering obits is deemed to be 48 hours plus the remainder of the calendar day in which victory is first claimed. In other words two days and a part of another day. 11 - If an obited death occurs during play of the MMMDP and is missed despite MPFC's best efforts to stay in touch and/or the spirited efforts of MMMDP participants and said death is missed in totting up points, after which a winner is declared, then this death will not count for competition purposes. The same is true in the case of a known death gathering a late obit and therefore allowing some other competitor to be declared a winner. All disputes relating to rule 11 will be resolved by the astute judgement of MPFC and there is no appeals procedure (though all sides of opinion are warmly invited to liven up the MMMDP thread by venting their fury). 12 - In the event that Deathlist editing options or other online trickery is discovered to have been employed in the editing of entries, those duly fingered for such cheating will be removed from the MMMDP and banned for life from subsequent entry into MMMDPs. 13 – In the unlikely event that a pick selected on 31 May fails to mark the start line the entrant selecting said pick will still be deemed to have entered the competition and will have until midnight 1 June to select a new pick (unselected by other entrants). Should the entrant fail to do so no other entrant will be allowed in as a replacement. 14 - A prize will be awarded as follows: i: Should the winner agree to attend a DLCon with MPFC a double measure of alcoholic drinks (pints, wine or spirits) will be supplied by MPFC along with much hearty congratulations and back-slapping. ii: A carefully chosen and appropriate prize will be posted to the winner (such as the DVD copy of the original Death Race movie supplied to the 2009 Deathrace). iii: MPFC will make a charitable donation to a cause of the winner's choice (as has been the case with all but one of the previous winnings of the Deathrace). This course of action is highly encouraged and is known to show dead poolers as something other than the sicko scum many ranters believe us to be. AND FINALLY... On completion of MMMDP activities the thread will get lively for a short while as losing contestants and spectactors offer well-deserved congratulations to the skilful and highly talented new champion, after which time it is expected that the cooling corpse of the thread will be allowed to gently sink into oblivion. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
maryportfuncity 10,657 Posted May 22 MMMDP Form Guide #1 Jimmy Carter 39th US president, and stubborn hanger-on and denier of dead pool delights for many over the years. The man's longevity may owe summat to a strongly held religious faith and a level of humanitarianism so deep it's tantamount to both an anachronism in the present day and life-affirming (to anyone but a dead pooler with yer man's name on a team). It seems improbable he'll hang on until his 100th birthday, well past the closing date of this pool, then again, a couple of years before his election it seemed improbable that a little known governer and peanut farmer would become president. So, frankly, where Carter's concerned we've all been burned if we've been daft enough bet. He ain't well, this pool's pending, and someone might well see this as hot talent in 2024. 3 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Spade_Cooley 9,538 Posted May 22 MMMDP Form Guide #2 Either one of The Nasty Boys Mathematically, it is a bit odd than neither of these guys are dead yet. Perhaps best known in wrestling for their hilarious backstage "ribs", light-hearted pranks such as sucker-punching Scott Hall 2-on-1 and beating him up, sucker-punching Ken Shamrock 2-on-1 and beating him up, and shitting in the punch bowl at a TNA aftershow party. Were famously announced in the WWF as coming from "Nastyville, Allentown, Pennsylvania", which is also home to such other notorious bad-asses as Amanda Seyfried and Carson Kressley off Ru Paul's Drag Race. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
maryportfuncity 10,657 Posted May 22 MMMDP Form Guide #3 Lord Sanderson of Bowden Recently outed on the People I'm Surprised to Find are Still Alive thread. He's not long turned 91, and remains obitable. Assuming he Googles himself he might be surprised to find himself here. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
The Immortal 636 Posted May 22 MMMDP Form Guide #4 Giorgetto Giugiaro Out of the two dozen or so legendary Italian car designers and engineers from the 1960s, around eight of them have died in the last 3 years. More importantly though, why wouldn't you want to pick a man with as awesome a name as Giorgetto motherfucking Giugiaro instead of all your average John Smiths and James Carters. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Insane 349 Posted May 22 MMMDP Form Guide #5 Steve "Mongo" McMicheal One of the few American football players to cross over into wrestling, he will probably be on of the younger people in this contest but there is a reason why he will be here, ALS, he has been suffering from als since 2021, but if you been on this site for a few months now, you probaly have seen how bad he looks, he can go anyday but we just dont know when he will go. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RetroGamer47 430 Posted May 22 MMMDP Form Guide #6 Rosey Grier Football player, actor and bodyguard to RFK, is 91. Which is pretty unheard of for a football player of his size. Additionally, he has been out of the public eye for well over 5 years, and is definitely a “how are they still alive” nonagenarian. 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ladyfiona 2,594 Posted May 22 MMMDP Form Guide Dame Esther Rantzen Journalist and founder of Childline. Has terminal cancer and been threatening to go to Switzerland on a one way flight to Dignitas for the last 6 months or so. Hasn't been appearing in interviews recently, only over the phone etc. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
maryportfuncity 10,657 Posted May 22 MMMDP Form Guide #8 Josef Fritzl The guy who played away at home and left half the world heaving in disgust when his antics were uncovered. Has survived fairly well in close confinement, but then he'd been practising for years coping in low ceilinged rooms lacking natural light. Yer man's now 89 and widely reported to be failing. The timing of the final fail is all MMMDPers will be bothered about. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
arghton 6,761 Posted May 22 MMMDP Form Guide #9 Jayapataka Swami An American-Indian ISKCON Hindu leader born John Gordon Erdman II in Milwaukee. As mentioned elsewhere, he has been in failing health for the last sixteen years with kidney, heart, liver, brain and lung problems, cancer and infections. Last month he was again very close to death and spent weeks in critical care, but made another miracle recovery. Currently he undergoes dialysis once every three days for end-stage renal failure and has an oximeter on his finger during appearances and speeches. There is a possibility he will conveniently die during the first days of June. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Sean 6,337 Posted May 22 MMMDP Form Guide #10 Simon Cowell Simon Cowell (No not that one) is a veteran presenter and wildlife expert best known for founding Wildlife Aid and for staring in Wildlife SOS. Diagnosed with terminal lung cancer in June 2022 which has now spread to his liver stomach and brain leaving him with a prognosis of "a few weeks". A strong contender if he makes the starting line. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Captain Hemlock 745 Posted May 23 MMMDP Form Guide #11 John Astin The creepy and kooky patriarch of La Famille Addams (that’s French, I wish Tish would have said that) is now a spry 94 and the sole surviving member of said family. Mr Astin hails from the US city of Baltimore, proving once and for all, that a diet of greasy crab cakes and Natty Boh beer are the true secrets of longevity. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
maryportfuncity 10,657 Posted May 23 MMMDP Form Guide #12 John Hemingway Whaddya mean you've never heard of him? Hemingway's what devoted dead poolers refer to as "obitable as fuck." By his own admission he did well to see his 25th birthday, if he makes 17 July he'll see his 105th. Quite literally, the last of The Few, oh aye, and an historic curio: so old he was born British in Ireland, where he's now resident in a Dublin care home. Not that it'll stop the British media gifting dead pool points as and when! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
The Immortal 636 Posted May 23 MMMDP Form Guide #13 Amarildo (footballer) Suffering from Alzheimer's disease, throat cancer and suffered a stroke recently that hospitalized him. That being said, Brazilian footballers tend to remain in poor health but just not die, so think carefully. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
arghton 6,761 Posted May 23 MMMDP Form Guide #14 Robert Pickton The murdering piece of shit has been speared with a broken broom handle, and if he makes it to June he might provide you with a sweeping victory. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
drol 11,970 Posted May 23 MMMDP Form Guide #15 Shi Ping Minor Chinese apparatchik and oldest man in Asia, the above photo is from fucking February. How he is still alive is beyond human comprehension. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
maryportfuncity 10,657 Posted May 23 4 hours ago, drol said: MMMDP Form Guide #15 Shi Ping Minor Chinese apparatchik and oldest man in Asia, the above photo is from fucking February. How he is still alive is beyond human comprehension. Might just be my fevered imagination but it looks like the guy behind is fixing to bum him and the rest are salivating in anticipation of the show. Only mentioning it because that might be why they're keeping the immobile oldster alive! Oh, alright, my fevered imagination it is, then Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Captain Hemlock 745 Posted May 24 Apparently Shi Ping is a widower. His wife died in…1935! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
CaptainChorizo 1,985 Posted May 24 MMMDP Form Guide #16 Jimmy Carter(Not the Peanut Farmer Guy) Even though that other Carter is a 99 year old in Hospice Care,sometimes the Reaper get's his Paper work messed. The Grammy winning Blind Boys Of Alabama Singer (now 91) retired in 2023 . So he might be worth a punt pick considering how 2 notable named Frank Field and a Frank Ifield kicked the bucket around the same time. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
maryportfuncity 10,657 Posted May 24 32 minutes ago, CaptainChorizo said: MMMDP Form Guide #16 Jimmy Carter(Not the Peanut Farmer Guy) Even though that other Carter is a 99 year old in Hospice Care,sometimes the Reaper get's his Paper work messed. The Grammy winning Blind Boys Of Alabama Singer (now 91) retired in 2023 . So he might be worth a punt pick considering how 2 notable named Frank Field and a Frank Ifield kicked the bucket around the same time. A good point, so anyone picking Jimmy Carter should specify. Assuming they don't I'll assume the ex-president and give them that pick by default. Any idea whether the two Jimmy Carters have ever met? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
maryportfuncity 10,657 Posted May 25 MMMDP Form Guide #17 Noam Chomsky An academic giant, q/o shoo-in in all broadsheets and the last form guide insight read: His wife is with him, and his family members take turns flying to visit him. MMMDP is six days away. It'll be a surprise if one of the first on board to bag a pick doesn't consider 95-year-old Noam. 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
maryportfuncity 10,657 Posted May 25 MMMDP Form Guide #18 Simon Cowell It's easy to tell him and his more famous namesake apart since this guy drips compassion and wouldn't exploit less fortunate creatures for his own glorification. Yer man's apparently so ill his colleagues in wildlife conversation may have been revealing more than they intended when a few days ago a premature obituary erupted online. So far as anyone can tell, as of this post, he's available for action come midnight on Friday, a shoo-in for the low hanging obits accepted in this one-shot-wonder of a low hangers fest and, like Chomsky above, one of those who'll be first in action once the nominations open. For fox sake, don't confuse him with his mate, also in the picture. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Steve 606 Posted May 25 1 minute ago, maryportfuncity said: MMMDP Form Guide #18 Simon Cowell It's easy to tell him and his more famous namesake apart since this guy drips compassion and wouldn't exploit less fortunate creatures for his own glorification. Yer man's apparently so ill his colleagues in wildlife conversation may have been revealing more than they intended when a few days ago a premature obituary erupted online. So far as anyone can tell, as of this post, he's available for action come midnight on Friday, a shoo-in for the low hanging obits accepted in this one-shot-wonder of a low hangers fest and, like Chomsky above, one of those who'll be first in action once the nominations open. For fox sake, don't confuse him with his mate, also in the picture. Already form guide 10 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Steve 606 Posted May 25 How about Sven-Goran Eriksson for form guide 18? 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
